I hate not being able to update. I have volleyball practice every day this week, I just finished The Book Thief for summer reading, I have to read Brave New World, and school starts back up for me on Friday. Ugh. I HATE THIS! I want to be able to update more, but I barely have any time to write! I'm so sorry for all of the late updates! Thank you all for your support, even though the updates are so infrequent.

PrincessIndia- Yeah, Matthew is being a little harsh...I guess we'll see what happens! Thank you so much for your support!

Mhpropp16- Haha, I'm glad this was unexpected for you! Thank you so much!

PEETAMELLARKLOVER123- Thank you so much! I'm sorry that this isn't sooner.

Kiren- yeah, Connor Franta is pretty dang awesome. I also struggle with auto-correct constantly. Any of my friends will tell you that. Thank you so much!

idk123456- I can't tell you who she's going to end up with...mainly because I haven't decided yet. I guess it'll be a surprise for the both of us! Haha, thanks for the review!

Enjoy! -ReadLikeYouMeanIt

Crystal's party is today. A lot of our cousins have showed up. Everyone's so excited about the party tonight, including myself. I'm just glad that Crystal has requested for everyone to dress casually.

Matthew and I haven't really talked in the past couple of days. He and I agreed to give each other some space in the next week or so. I think it's good, but I miss him. Things have just gotten really awkward. I feel like I have made so many mistakes, but I don't know how to patch them up. I refuse to go to Mom about any of this, because she's just going to criticize me. She's been doing that a lot lately. I don't really want to talk to Dad about it either, because that'd just feel weird. Maybe I'll talk to Astra. That could work, right?

I need some alone time away from everyone. I don't want to be confined to my room. I can't go to the gardens. That would be the obvious place to go. I decide to go to the roof. There's a great view of Angeles there anyway. I have on dark jeans and a bright pink tank top. My hair is down and straightened. I'm wearing black combat books and the bracelet my parents gave me for my birthday. I am wearing makeup, but it's a little different from what I usually wear. I use darker colors around my eyes to make them pop. I look like my true self, not my princess-self. I wish I could look like this all the time. I get up to the roof and put my hands on the balcony. I look over at the beautiful city and the palace grounds. I know there are guards watching me from somewhere, but this is the most alone I've felt in a while. It feels nice. I suddenly have an urge to sing. I don't know why. It sounds corny, but I just feel like singing. I start singing a song I heard in an old musical once. The musical was called Wicked and was about a witch who went to school and was bullied. The song is called "No Good Deed." It's basically saying that this girl will not do anything to try to please everyone anymore. She's going to act in favor of herself and her love. I belt this out at the top of my lungs. I don't want to contain my emotions right now. At one point, I feel like I'm going to cry, but I don't. I finish singing and just stand there for a while. I turn around to head down and get ready with some of my cousins. The door is standing open and there's someone waiting there: Nat.

I start blushing. My mouth is open, but it can't find any words. Did people actually hear me sing? I think. That's embarrassing.

"Uh," he says. I guess he feels the same way. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but—but—"

"I...Did you hear me—"

"Yeah." He cuts me off.

"Oh." I say, looking down.

"No, no no! It was good! It was excellent, actually! I just...didn't expect it. Not from you, anyway."

I give him a look.

"No, no! I don't mean—it's just...I just..." He sighs loudly, giving up on whatever he's trying to say. "Anyway, your mother wants you to come down. I guess you were on your way to do that."

"Yeah..." I say.

We stand there in silence for a while, then I just walk past him downstairs.

Yikes, I think. That was awkward.