In Moderation

Rose tried very hard to keep a straight face at Mary's utter amazement at the Doctor's suggestion. The utterness of the domestic lifestyle he was describing was undeniable and she privately agreed with the girl that the Doctor probably had no idea of what he was getting into. He confirmed this when he looked at her and said in shock,

"Clothes shopping is a social activity, not a domestic one, for humans?"

"Um, yeah. Pretty much." She nodded. "Which is why people get together with friends or family and go to malls."

"Food shopping is..."

"Household maintenance."

"So it's..."

"Domestic when you're going for supplies, yeah. Sorry 'bout that." She was hiding her amusement with lessening success, she assumed, given his sour expression. "It's social when we go to restaurants...but we do have to get the supplies regardless so you're not going to get out of it."

"Yeah, I realize that. Why is clothes shopping social?"

"Well, part of it is that humans see clothing as a form of display, of the sort of decoration that only has value when it's shown off. The higher the personal rank or income, the better clothing you can afford and that..."

"Makes it part of the comparative ranking bit of human society and that makes it a social activity...so that others can see you demonstrate your rank."

"Yep."

"So, parents, wishing their neighbors to see their pride in their children, take said children publicly to the social venue of malls..."

"Or large clothing retailers."

"Yes...Mary is correct, it's a very social activity."

"Also, while malls do have several large chain stores in them, they are mostly a large collection of small shops that just wouldn't get the sorts of sales anywhere else that they do in malls where they rent space and get greater exposure to shoppers. There's a lot of interesting little specialty stores in malls."

"Are there?"

"Yep."

"Well, I need to check the malls out, don't I. Don't want people thinking I'm not proud of my girls."

"Don't go too wild with it, Doctor. Not like mum would. Careful choices in attire need to be made, not whatever you can grab."

"No, no...not a nose-less one...no, I wanted to get her a Earth dog, well, puppy, but still." He whinged. "That's part of doing the domestic, right? Get your kid a pet? So, anyway, I got her a puppy and already gave him to her."

"Um, yeah, I guess so." Rose hesitated. "Which breed?"

"Oh he's a fuzzy, plump little thing, called a Great Pyrenees. Solid white."

"Really?" Rose struggled for a straight face while she passed an image to the TARDIS of an adult of the breed...and the breed standards. "Well, you get to clean up after and bathe him when he needs it once he's four months or older. I don't have the upper arm and body strength to do that."

"Rose?"

"You'll see."

"Ooookay," He paused, then his eyes lit on the day's shopping. "Anyway, Mary was right, as long as I stay away from food or household shopping...except for TARDIS parts cuz you can't do that bit, shopping is very much a social activity. Why, you wouldn't believe what I found in an antique shop today."

"What were you doing in an antique store?"

"Oh, Mary mentioned that all the old people she ever knew did so much shopping in antique stores that they might as well move in. Plus I can shop in them and actually know what I'm looking at. I can see why old humans like them though." He answered absently. "Now, look at what I found for her at Dillard's..." He added, eagerly opening his shopping bags. "The stores in American Malls have little outfit sets for her age that are so cute! Look at this little skirt I found...beautiful shade of teal this is..."

Rose was getting a throbbing headache...once he'd buckled, he had gone down like a ton of bricks. "Help?" She sent to the TARDIS.

"And the American UNIT had people that knew right where to go to get her outfitted with the basics, first. A place called Burlington Coat Factory...what a wonderful place to shop. And cheap, too. I got her four times the clothing on the same five thousand quid that I would have spent in London, do you know that?" He chattered on. "The American exchange rate is five bucks to the quid, too, so I actually used twenty-five thousand dollars to get clothing for her."

Rose stared at him in horror. "How many stores did you buy completely out?"

"Only three."

"DOCTOR!"

"What? She needs clothes." He told her in his most reassuring tones. "She needs toys, too, though...that's where we're going now. The Americans have a different store next to the Coat Factory that is called Toys R Us..."

Rose gritted her teeth in frustration and flipped the randomizing lever, down and then back up...when he wasn't looking, allowing herself to be sent sprawling when the ship jerked off in a new direction. He never suspected a thing...she'd take the girl toy shopping herself...on a more sensible budget, later. Seriously, she adored her Doctor, but she wasn't at all sure that 'moderation' was a word he'd been introduced to yet.

Once she and Mary had jollied him past the initial 'dive in and have fun' version of mall shopping and slowed him down a bit, he'd relaxed. He was finally willing to get something that caught his eye that he liked, but was past 'the grab everything in sight' phase. However, the TARDIS wardrobe room had expanded to six times the original size before he toned it down. And she'd had to beg the TARDIS for an older him to come and talk some sense into this him to get it done at all.

~*~TBC~*~