Chapter 10

Johnny woke Daryl early the next morning, babbling and making a noise that sounded suspiciously like Mama. Daryl smiled down at his son. It was Christmas Eve, a holiday he and Merle would, in most cases, mostly ignore. He picked his son up.

"It's almost Christmas, baby boy." He grinned down at the smiley innocent face, Johnny presented to him.

"Daddy got you and Mama some things. First, Christmas I've celebrated…. ever." He looked thoughtfully at the Christmas tree Lina had placed in the living room. It was a small four footer and she had made most of the ornaments by hand. Daryl's heart swelled with pride, it wasn't that fancy shit you saw in rich people's houses, but it was still beautiful. Johnny giggled and tried to pull the nearest ornament off the tree. Daryl carefully moved them out of reaching distance and continued to inspect Lina's work.

She had spent time and effort on each ornament. He found a purple ornament covered in bats and spiders and laughed remembering how much Johnny loved the Halloween decorations. That ornament must have been made just for him. Another ornament to the left of Johnny's caught his eye, this one was grey and covered in little motorcycles and whiskey bottles. Daryl laughed out loud at that, if that wasn't Merle's he'd eat his crossbow. That's when he found his, I beautiful blue orb covered in crossbows and angel wings. He plucked it out of the tree and studied it, his heart swelling with love. She had done all this for their son and despite everything they had put her through she had still thought to include them.

Johnny, angry at being ignored, slapped his father on the cheek; he made smacking noises to let his Daddy know he was hungry. Pulled out of his musings Daryl put his ornament back on the tree and grabbed his sons little hand.

"Ya hungry baby? Daddy's hungry too! Maybe I'll eat this little hand," he pretended to munch on Johnny's hand and arm "nom, nom, nom, mmmmmm yummy baby." Johnny squealed with laughter and tried to pull his hand out of Daryl's grip.

"Looks like some people woke up in a good ass mood." Merle walked into the living room yawning and scratching his balls.

"Yeah, here hold 'em I gotta make somethin' ta eat. Check out the ornaments on that tree."

Merle reached out for his son eagerly and gave him a nuzzle on the neck, causing Johnny to laugh even harder.

"Let's see what there is ta see on this tree here." He stepped up to the tree and almost instantly a grey ornament stood out to him. Motorcycles and whiskey, two of his favorite things, Well, she couldn't very well put pussy on there could she, Lina had made him an ornament. He found Daryl's and Johnny's soon after. All he could thing was,they didn't deserve her, they didn't deserve to be anywhere around her, but Merle was never one to give up a good thing when it came around. Especially since good things were few and far between. We don't deserve her OR Johnny, but we ain't eva' leavin'.

"She's somethin' , Huh." Daryl handed him Johnny's food. Merle moved to sit on the couch and began feeding his son.

"Yeah, caught her cryin' a few times last night. She ain't doin' as good as she looks." He let out a long sigh. Johnny catching the mood began making pouty faces.

"Ain't much we can do, Merle. Jus' gotta make shit easier on her ya know." Daryl looked to the closed bedroom door.

"I had a bad feelin' 'bout that fucker from the beginin'. Should put a stop to it." Daryl scowled angrily.

"Can't do that brother. She ain't ours, can't tell her she can't find nobody. She don't say shit ta us." Merle's scowl matched his brother.

"She could be." Daryl said softly. Merle looked up and narrowed his eyes at his brother.

"Ya think…." He was cut off by the bedroom door opening. Lina came out of her bedroom, shyly. She was adorned in a sparkly Christmas sweater and had a tiny equally tacky one that was obviously meant for Johnny in her hand.

"I kinda had plans for how to spend Christmas Eve. I didn't know…..ya know." Her voice was still a bit raspy but much better.

"Good Lawrd! Woman whatcha got on." Merle had a grin from ear to ear.

"I was going to take Johnny to get a picture with Santa at the mall and then come home and watch Christmas Carol movies."

"Christmas Carol movies?" Daryl looked at her confused.

"Yeah, it's my favorite Christmas book and they've made tons of movie versions of it. I wanted to watch a few." She smiled at Johnny in Merle's lap.

"I wanted to show Johnny "The Muppets Christmas Carol" I thought he'd like it."

"Alright, I gotta shower though. I smell like shit." Daryl got up and began rummaging through his trash bag.

"I'm still good, I'll just go like this." Merle leaned back and bounced Johnny on his stomach. "Ya ready to meet Santa boy?"

"You guys are coming? But, what if….the mall is the only place that has Santa. Someone from town is bound to see."

"Don't matter no more." Merle didn't bother looking at her. He lifted Johnny's shirt and began blowing raspberries on his tummy, much to the child's delight.

Daryl nodded at her and made his way into the bathroom. Lina swallowed the ball of emotion in her throat, knowing the brothers wouldn't want her to make a big deal of it. It was a big deal, it was a huge deal; they were going to acknowledge their son, it was the best Christmas present they could have gotten her.

She took the happy child from his father and dressed him. She had bought him a pair of black slacks and shiny patent leather shoes to wear with his Christmas sweater. His sweater featured a big picture of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer against a green backing, complete with a light up red nose, and red pom pom fluffs around the neck and arms. After she was finished dressing him she picked him up and settled him on her hip for Merle to get a good look at his outfit.

Merle loved it. They looked ridiculous and that made him love it even more. Lina didn't give a damn what she looked like, she was creating a fun memory for her son, even if it was one she got from one of them cheesy ass Lifetime movies. His son was happy, slapping the red light that made up Rudolph's nose. Lina was a damn good mother and he couldn't love her more for it. He hadn't even thought about half this shit. He thought back to last Christmas.

The Dixon brothers had one tradition on Christmas Eve, and it wasn't one that was suitable for an infant. They would skip the local bar and head onto Atlanta to bag them some "quality bitches", instead of the stripper trash they usually brought home. Last year Daryl had found himself a young brunette, she wasn't much to look at even with all the make-up she was wearing but she was young, around 22 and had a body on her.

Merle had thought he got himself the catch of all catches. She was older than Daryl's, around 33, blond haired, green eyed, with a body to die for. She had been wearing a slinky red dress and some sky high black heels. At first he thought she might be a hooker but she claimed to own a clothing boutique a couple of streets down from the bar. He eagerly went back to her apartment and got her out of that amazing dress. He was kissing his way up her body when he noticed a light scar across her abdomen.

"Ya got a kid?" Her place didn't seem very kid friendly.

She pulled him up, embarrassed that he had noticed the scar. "That's what you want to talk about, honey?" she purred in his ear.

He didn't need to be told twice, he knew when to drop a subject. The sex was ok, she was a selfish lover, but so was Merle; they both managed to get off. Merle rolled off of her and rummaged around his clothes laying on the floor. Offering her a cigarette they both light up and sat in silence for a bit.

"So where are ya kids?" Merle asked, for some reason the scar and her pristine apartment was bugging him.

"What is your obsession with my children?" she had angrily replied.

"Whoow, calm your tits. It's Christmas, I was just askin'. Kids are usually with they mom on these days."

"Ugh, no. There with their father, thank God. I can relax without being bugged about going to see Santa and all that crap. Do you have kids?"

"Naw." Merle was becoming disgusted with this woman.

"Well, Last year I had them and they watched the same damn Christmas movie all day for three days. It was a fuckin' nightmare." She rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Yeah, Well I gotta go." Merle got up ignoring her offended look.

"You're not staying?" She tried giving him a sultry look.

Huffing he pulled on his shirt. "Nope." He was out the door with her screams of "Asshole!" ringing in his ears.

Shaking off the memory, he took in the sight before him.

"Yeah, baby! That's how you do Christmas." He clapped his hands dramatically, throwing his head back in laughter. Merles enthusiastic response caused Lina to laugh herself.

"If I had known, I would have bought you and Daryl some matching ones." She teased with her first genuine grin in ages. Merle put his arm around her shoulders, "Honey, I would have worn the hell outta it, and made it look good."

Daryl came out of the bathroom to find his family grinning and laughing. He noticed the difference between Lina and Johnny's outfits and Merles.

"Merle and I are gonna fuck up the picture. We ain't exactly colorful." He looked down at his black button shirt and dark jeans, and then up at Merles dark blue button up and grey work pants.

"Aw brother, it'll be alright. Let's go."

They piled up into Lina's car with Merle driving and Daryl in the passenger seat. Lina sat in the back making sure Johnny didn't mess up his outfit before the picture. She felt incredibly happy all of a sudden. She realized she hadn't thought of the rape in a couple of hours. This simple little act of taking her son to take pictures with Santa felt like heaven on Earth. The Dixon's were never going to hurt her boy, she knew that, and by extension, they would do their best not to hurt her. They had protected her and cared for her. She felt safe with them. Last night she had thought of cancelling the pictures, afraid to leave the safety of her trailer and the Dixons. Now they were beside her, eagerly contributing to her son's happiness. Despite everything, I'm a lucky girl.

They arrived at the mall almost as soon as it opened and it was already packed. Merle mumbled and cursed until he found a suitable parking space. Lina was surprised at how comfortably they all fell into step with each other. She was expecting them to be at least a little worried at being seen with her. Instead they flanked her on each side, each bitching at the amount of people they had to wade through.

Merle stopped suddenly, causing Lina and Daryl to stop too.

"You two go on. I'll catch up." Merle turned to look at them with a mischievous grin.

"What? Why?" Daryl asked confused

"You'll see, it's a surprise. Go on." He shooed them away. They slowly started making their way to the long line in front of the Santa chair.

"What do you think he's up to?" Lina asked nervously.

"Don't know, but he seemed pretty damn pleased with his self."

Merle waited until they were out of site before he made his way into the store he spotted. Grabbing the two items he wanted he quickly paid and ran to catch up to Lina, Johnny and his brother.

He spotted them in the line and began making his way towards them, catching Daryl's eye when he heard his name being called.

"Merle!" He looked around to find Jim and his wife and kids making their way to the line. "You're the last person I'd expect here."

"Jim," Merle nodded at Virginia his wife in greeting.

"You here with someone?" she asked looking around. Virginia loved gossip more than anything and Merle Dixon going to see Santa on Christmas Eve was a juicy bit of gossip.

Merle saw the second she spotted Daryl and Lina. Daryl was holding Johnny and watching them from their place in line.

"Oh, I see." Virginia breathed out in shock.

Merle let out a small laugh "I doubt it. If you'll excuse me Jim."

He made his way to his family. "I'll be out to the entire town by tomorrow that one of us is Johnny's daddy."

"Yeah, Virginia ain't never kept a secret in her life." Daryl laughed. Lina looked at both men, relived that they seemed more amused than angry about gossip that was to come.

"That ain't important anyway." Merle shook the bag in his hand. "I got somethin' much more interestin' in here." His smile was infectious. Lina, Daryl and Johnny couldn't help smiling back at him.

"So don't keep us waiting." Lina whined impatiently.

With a flourish Merle pulled out a red sweater and threw it at Daryl. Daryl unfolded the sweater to find it had a print of holly leaves and reindeer. At first it looked like a regular Christmas sweater until you looked closer and realized that under each deer was a small pile of shit.

"Oh my God." Lina gasped before she started giggling.

"Wait till you see mine." Merle nearly squealed in delight. He pulled out his green sweater and spread It out for the two of them to see. His sweater had a print of snowflakes and awkwardly positioned reindeer,

"Jesus Merle, are they fuckin'?" Daryl breathed out.

"Yeah," he nodded with the toothiest smile Lina had ever seen him produce. She couldn't help but start laughing. Her ribs began to scream in protest, but she couldn't stop herself. She wrapped her arms around her body and leaned against the wall in an effort to control herself and lessen the pain.

"I knew you'd like 'em. Girl's got a sense of humor." He elbowed his brother. "You gonna wear it or what."

Daryl let out a rare laugh of his own "Yeah, fuck it."

Merle pulled off his button up and pulled the sweater over his white wife-beater, before giving a little turn. Johnny clapped and began slapping at Daryl to get him to do the same. Daryl passed Johnny over to Merle and pulled the sweater on over his button up. Making the sweater look even uglier. They stood in front of Lina for her approval. She nodded and clapped.

"We would win any Ugly Christmas Sweater contest out there. Good job Merle!"

They got plenty of laughs when their turn for Santa came up and the man playing Santa even asked to take a picture on his personal phone. Lina had a feeling that if any other men had worn those sweaters it wouldn't have been half as funny. Something about the absurdity of these two obviously rough rednecks in those sweaters, broke everyone they saw into laughter.

The ride home was quiet, Johnny was fast asleep and Lina was nodding off as well. Daryl turned to look at the two passengers in the back and smiled at Lina's droopy lids. As he watched she gave in to her drowsiness and knocked out. Turning back around he looked at his brother.

"We wore them out. Maybe shudda taken it a little easier on Lina. She's still recovering."

Merle shook his head, "Ain't just her body, need recovering brother. They needed some fun, we had fun."

"Yeah," Daryl agreed.

After the pictures, Merle had insisted on walking around the mall and checking out all the stores. He had strutted around in his offensive Christmas sweater, eating up all the attention. They had bumped into several people from town and Daryl could tell Lina was shocked at the way Merle handled it. He gave them all a wink and a wave before throwing his arms around Lina's shoulders and walking away.

Lina was shocked, but Daryl wasn't. He and Merle had decided that they weren't keeping their connection to Lina and Johnny secret anymore, and Merle never did anything quiet. Every wink and wave was a challenge and a warning, everyone they saw heeded it.

"You were pretty generous, "Daryl glanced sideways at his brother.

"Got me a few good deals this weekend, figured why not spend it on Christmas. Ain't gonna be goin' out all that much with shit the way it is. 'sides Lina and Johnny deserve it."

Daryl rubbed his brow, "Deals at Lina's ain't gonna fly, 'specially with Johnny there."

"Naw, I'll keep it at home." He turned to look at his brother, "what da fuck ya think I am? Stupid?"

"Fuck, Merle. Ain't like your fuckin' known for givin' a shit 'bout things like that."

Merle turned to make sure Lina was still asleep. She was leaning on the car door with her brows scrunched up and her body twitching slightly. Merle knew she was having another nightmare. He looked back at the road in front of him.

"She's been through enough an I always give a fuck 'bout Johnny."

Daryl turned to look at Lina. Her nightmare seemed to have gotten worse, her head was beginning to thrash back and forth, and tears were rolling down her cheeks. Daryl tuned in his seat, leaned over and shook her gently.

"Hay, Lina…Lina."

She sat up with a gasp, eyes wide and panicked.

"You're OK babygirl." Merle drawled, glancing at her in the rearview mirror.

Lina's head snapped in his direction before turning and focusing on Daryl, who had kept his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm OK." He nodded at her, she glanced back at Merle who nodded as well.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Don't be." Daryl let her go and turned back around, giving Merle a knowing glance before he settled back into his seat.

The rest of the ride passed by quickly and quietly. Johnny woke up starving and made his discomfort very known as they made their way into Lina's small trailer. Merle had noticed several people turn to look at them in shock as they drove through town, by tomorrow the entire town would know about the Dixon's and Johnny and Lina.

"Daryl, how's 'bout ya feed Johnny. I need ta talk to Lina."

Daryl didn't bother to answer, instead he took Johnny into the kitchen and began making his meal. He already knew what Merle was up to. It was better for Merle to have this talk than him. Merle was the one who would attract the most trouble over this, she should be prepared.

Merle ushered Lina into the bedroom and motioned to the bed for her to sit down.

"Everyone'll know by tomorra." He took a seat next to her staring into her eyes intently.

She swallowed, feeling trapped by his look, "Are you angry?"

"Naw, it's how we chose." His eyes never leaving hers, "ya gave us an ultimatum. Don' think we don' know that's what it was."

He laughed at that "Ya so quiet and timid, but I knew ya meant that one. Daryl did too."

"I'd do anything for Johnny, even fight the two of you." She rubbed her ribs absentmindedly. "Even though I'd lose."

Merle scooted closer to her and put his hand gently on the bruises on her neck. Lina tried to pull back, but Merle held her in place with his other hand on her shoulder. The panic began rising up inside her.

"Lina! Hey, look at me!" Merle told her sharply. The command in his voice had her obeying almost immediately despite her panic. He's eyes were not angry or menacing. For Merle they were almost soft and kind. Her breathing was coming out in short gasps and she grabbed his wrist tightly.

"It's OK Lina. I want ya ta see." He ignored the way her nailed dug into his wrist, bringing out droplets of blood. He began to gently rub her neck, soothing the tender area.

"See I ain't gonna hurt ya like that." He continued his caresses on her neck until her breathing began to even out.

"We good?" Lina answered by letting go of his wrist. He removed his hand from her neck and examined the crescent shaped wounds she had left on him. Lina looked down at his wrists and then back up to his eyes.

"Ya know, any other woman done that ta me, she's be out on her ass."

"You grabbed my neck, beside this is my home." She smiled at him, somehow feeling stronger and more courageous.

"True that, I guess." He huffed out another small laugh. "Shit is gonna get rough Lina, I'm gonna get rough," he glanced at her, "rougher. I ain't an easy man….ever….but it might be worse for a while."

"I jus' wanted ya to know, I ain't gonna go after ya like that." He gestured at her wounds. "Daryl wouldn' let himself either. OK?"

"I know, I think….I just….can't help it."

Merle rubbed his face. "We went there, already. The whole towns gonna know 'bout us. I need ya to KNOW not think. Ya gonna have ta trust us and I ain't gonna earn it."

Lina took in a deep breath. "I do know and…." She hesitated, unsure of how to say what she felt without being too emotional.

"It's just….you and Daryl…you have earned it, my trust. I'm Johnny's mother, you'll watch out for me."

She looked away, embarrassed, missing the look of annoyance that passed quickly across Merle's face.

"Alrigh' lets go see those fuckin' movies ya keep bitchin' about."

Merle followed her out of the room giving Daryl a quick nod and a frown before settling on the floor in front of Lina. She happily pressed play on the remote and "The Muppet's Christmas Carol" came on screen. Merle leaned his head back onto her knees and nudged her.

"Scratch my head, if I gotta watch this shit." Lina looked down at Merle's head confused. Daryl huffed next to her. Getting impatient he grabbed her hand and plopped it on his head moving it back and forth.

"Scratch it." Lina began scratching his head, embarrassed at first, then absent mindedly as she got more engrossed in the movie.

Both Daryl and Johnny loved the movie, though Daryl tried to hide his laughs and grins. Merle was snoring within the first forty-five minutes, but would wake anytime Lina tried to stop scratching his head.

They decided to order pizza before they popped in the next DVD, each taking a bathroom break. Merle was feeding Johnny when the pizza arrived. Lina was in the restroom so Daryl opened the door. Glenn the local pizza boy's eyes opened in wide when Daryl opened the door; they nearly popped out of their sockets when they spotted Merle on the couch feeding Johnny. Both Dixons laughed heartily at his comical reaction.

"How much boy." Daryl barked.

"I….uh….fi…fifteen." Glenn stammered. Daryl paid him and shut the door on his shocked face. Lina walked out of the bathroom.

"What's so funny?" she eyed them curiously.

"Had to be there." Daryl chuckled.

"Just put on ya damn movie and get over here an scratch my head." Merle yawned.

That night Merle snuck out of the bedroom with two presents under his arm. He was startled to find Daryl already placing presents of his own under the tree. He placed his gifts next to his brothers.

"It all feels so fuckin' normal. We ain't supposed to be here doin' this." Merle whispered.

"It ain't though." Daryl glanced at his older brother "We shared a woman and now were sharin' a kid. Ain't normal.

Merle shrugged "For us."

"Ya want her don' ya."

Merle didn't answer his brother or look at him.

"What 'bout ya?"

Daryl didn't answer either.

"Night Bro."

"Night baby brother."