Thank you for the reviews guys! I'm kinda sad from Sunday's TWD Coda epi. so this is a short chapter.

Chapter 11

Lina awoke Christmas morning feeling rested and refreshed. It was the first night since her incident with David that she hadn't had a nightmare, at least not one that she could remember. She was snuggled in Merle's arms so tightly that her ribs were beginning ache, gently she grabbed his wrist and pulled his arm off from around her. Merle grunted and rolled onto his back, quietly slipping off the bed she walked over to her small bedroom closet.

Merle felt her slip out of bed and opened one eye to find her on her hands and knees rummaging around in her closet, ass up invitingly. Opening both eyes he put both hands behind his head and settled down to enjoy the view.

Noticing a shadow out of the corner of his eye and found Daryl at the bedroom door looking at him with a small smirk. Merle gave his brother a wide grin and shrugged his shoulders.

"Ha there you are," Lina's muffled voice floated out of the closet. Backing out on her hands and knees she startled at finding both brothers staring at her.

"I thought you two were still asleep." She stated weakly

"What's that?" Daryl gestured at the two small brightly wrapped gifts in her hand.

Lina looked down at the presents in her hand "Don't be angry but…I….well…Johnny got you guys something."

She kept her eyes glued to her lap, hiding her red cheeks behind a curtain of hair.

"Yeah, we got ya some stuff too. " Merle clapped his hands together, "Let's get this party started."

The three of them made their way into the living room to wake Johnny. Lina found the present she had bought her son and handed it over to Merle who had the grumpy child on his lap. Johnny's mood brightened as soon as he realized he could destroy the pretty paper and bow. Pleased with the black truck Lina had bought him, he refused to be dissuaded from his new toy even to open another present.

Sighing, Lina decided to give the Dixon's the presents she bought them.

"You guys might as well open yours. He'll lose interest in a while and then we can give him your gifts."

Merle's eyes lit up, "Give it here then woman." He beckoned with his hand.

Lina handed him and Daryl their gifts. Johnny chose that exact moment to tire of his truck and yanked Merle's gift from his hand, ripping the paper eagerly.

"Hey," Merle complained. Johnny stared at the silver rectangle in his hand for a moment before dropping it in his father's lap and reaching for more presents. Merle picked up the small object and turned it over in his hand.

It was a silver keychain, the kind they sold at the mall that could be personalized. Sure enough Lina had had it engraved.

I LOVE YOU DADDY!

Johnny D. 2014

Merle swallowed a lump in his throat and looked over at his brother. Daryl had a silver lighter with the same engraving. Merle watched as Daryl's Adams apple bobbed up and down once quickly.

"I'm sorry if it's not something you guys would use." Lina wasn't sure how to take their silence.

"I don't really know you guys that well, even considering everything. I just figured….Merle loves his bike and Daryl you smoke more that Merle….I don't know…"

"Shut up girl. Why you apologizing all the damn time? It's good." Merle barked out.

"Yeah, done good." Daryl whispered, "Now Merle can't take my lighters no more." He said much louder.

"Oh good," Lina breathed out, relieved. She turned back around to find another gift for Johnny to open. The brothers gave each other a look behind her back.

"Uh…" Lina looked up at Merle. "You really did get me something." She looked down at the medium sized present in her hand.

"Said I did, didn't I." Merle leaned forward and grabbed the present he got for Johnny from under the tree. "Here ya go son, settle down."

"Open it." He ordered her. Johnny already playing with the chopper Merle bought him was calm enough to let Merle watch Lina open his gift.

She opened the present slowly. It was wrapped in newspaper and tapped almost to the point of being nearly impossible to get into. She sucked in a breath as pulled off the last of paper. Merle had bought her a book. It wasn't just any book either, it was the next book in the series she had been reading. She looked up at him in shock.

"What? Ain't like ya make ya hobby a secret." Merle smirked, " 'sides, them book are pretty good, wanna know what happened." He began rolling the bike all over Johnny's arms making him laugh.

"You've been reading them?" Lina laughed.

Merle turned away from playing with Johnny, "Yah surprised?" he looked offended.

"Merle's always liked to read." Daryl kept his eyes on his lighter.

"I just didn't know. Thank you Merle." She smiled down at her gift. "You can borrow any book you like."

"Open mine now." Daryl reached around her and brought out a rectangular thin box.

Daryl had wrapped his box in a plastic bag, but was much easier to open. Lina was surprised again at the thoughtfulness of the gift. Daryl had gotten her a silver bookmark decorated with a purple L in rhinestones.

"Thank you! Did the two of you plan these?" Lina couldn't believe how perfect both their gifts were.

"Naw," Daryl answered her, "Give Johnny my gift for he starts screamin'."

Lina handed Johnny the last gift under the tree. He happily ripped open the package to find a couple of stuffed squirrels. She watched as her son threw his squirrel at Daryl, laughing as he made his father retrieve them. She felt a warmness spread throughout her chest, it was like a normal happy family her son had his father or fathers and they all cared for one another. She could feel the grin on her face until her eye caught hold of a pair of sunglasses resting on the armrest of the couch. They were David's How had she not noticed them until now? The smile froze on her face and the warmth was replaced by a deep chill.

The images of David's snarling face and harsh voice flooded her mind

"Why do you insist on being such a stupid bitch? Huh! Ain't nobody ever gonna want you! You're lucky I'm giving you a shot!"

Lina looked down at her presents, they had made her so happy just moments before. Now she remembered, it was all for Johnny, they all tolerated each other for Johnny. If it wasn't for her son this would just be another lonely day. The Dixon's would not have even acknowledge their indiscretions with her.

"Your ugly, stupid and a terrible fuck, I had to do all the fuckin' work myself! You better shape up Lina! Next time I won't be so nice!" Every other word punctuated by a jab to her side.

She shook her head in an effort to rid her mind of the painful memories. The Dixon's were being very nice to her, it didn't matter why. She felt her eyes sting with unshed tears, hating herself for mourning a fantasy she had conjured up in her head. David had been right about everything without ever knowing her history. His words had hurt more that the blows he rained upon her. He had fooled her into thinking he cared, that he would give her the family she always wished for, only to rip it violently from her hands. Now she was fooling herself, imagining a loving family with the Dixons, she needed to stop. They loved Johnny and that was enough; it would have to be enough.

Clearing her throat, she carefully put her presents on the coffee table and stood up.

"I'm going to get dressed and get started on breakfast." She turned making her way as quickly as possible to the bedroom.

Merle had noticed the change in her almost instantly. He turned to see what had caught her eye and spotted the sunglasses. Daryl loved wearing sunglasses, but these were not his. These glasses where those douche bag deals that cops and security guards wore. He knew instantly who they belonged to and what brought out the change in Lina.

"Here, take the kid." He handed Johnny over to Daryl who was still playing fetch with his son.

"What's up?"

"Be back, give us a minute."

Daryl raised an eyebrow to his brother "Why's that."

Merle let out a breath before he turned to look at his younger brother. Daryl was expecting to see a look of lust, a mischievous grin or a salacious smile, anything but the grim look of concern his brother now wore. He nodded in understanding and looked back at his son.

Merle walked into the bedroom without knocking and closed the door gently behind him. Lina was sitting on the floor, legs crossed picking at the skin on her wrists so hard she was drawing blood. Merle crouched down in front of her, dipped his head down in an effort to catch her eyes which were fixed on her bloody wrist. He placed his hands over hers, Lina stopping the nervous picking with a started jerk. She finally looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. Hastily she wiped at the moister on her cheeks and tried to get up. Merle stopped her.

"What happened?"

"Nothing….I just…..it's stupid, I'm fine."

"Ya ain't. I know it's that prick ya were datin'. So what happened?"

"I just forgot and…the glasses…I just remembered."

"What he did?"

Lina shook her head, "No, what he said." She shook her head again, "It's so stupid. He didn't say anything that wasn't true, that I didn't know already. I just….forgot for a second."

"Wha' he say?"

She shook her head again. How could she tell him? How could she admit to Merle Dixon that she wanted him to be her family? How could she tell him that she cared for him and wished for him to care for her? She couldn't, it was stupid.

Merle sat down next to her, "I ain't leavin' till you say."

Lina let out a shaky breath. She could tell him what he said without telling him what it meant to her.

"He said I was lucky he bothered with me. He said I was stupid, ugly and a terrible fuck." She laughed a little. "He said no one would ever really want me." She rubbed at the wounds on her wrists.

"I already knew all that."

Merle's lip curled up in disgust, he could hear his father saying the same things to his mother. The memories as clear as if they just happened yesterday. His mother trying so hard to bring her son and husband some happiness, only to be knocked down physically and verbally time and time again. Lina was very much like his mother now that he thought about it.

"Ya got a kid that says different."

"Not really," she shook her head sadly, "Johnny was a mistake. You just wanted to take someone's virginity and Daryl….he was so drunk he couldn't even stand straight. It was an accident and a fluke. I'm just happy it worked out for Johnny." She wrapped her arms around her legs, rubbing her forehead on her knees. "I don't know why I'm letting it get to me. It's …I don't know."

Merle felt a sharp pang in his chest. He had treated her badly, hadn't thought at all of making her first time the least bit pleasurable.

"Only half right honey," he took a deep breath, "I think Daryls been eyein' ya for a while. He always did like the exotic kind. Tried to hide it but I could tell. I never looked at ya till that night…it's true. Didn't look at ya much then neither. I looked at ya after though, almost fucked ya on the couch, if ya remember. First night I slept ova I came ta fuck ya…passed out instead."

Rubbing his face he turned to look at her "It ain't much, Lina, but the Dixons didn't mind fucking ya. We ain't nice and there never was much hope we'd treat ya good, but you get treated better than the rest. Counts for somethin'."

"I told you I was being stupid. I'm sorry." Lina felt her chest ache, she wanted so much from the man sitting next to her. It was a hopeless dream.

"For fucks sake Lina! Quit apologizin'!" He couldn't help the exasperation in his voice. He sucked at this shit, but Daryl wasn't any better. Lina flinched at the tone of his voice.

"Look," he reached towards her and she flinched again. "Lina," he softened his tone, "I ain't gonna hurt you."

"I know, sor….I know."

"You were fuckin' raped." He had to get it out of the way; he couldn't pussy foot around it anymore. "You can get fuckin' upset and cry an shit. I suck at helpin' ya, but fuck! I ain't gonna give ya any shit for it."

"Ok, Merle." Lina wiped the tears from her eyes. "Let's go eat breakfast, I'm sure Daryl and Johnny are starving."

"They can wait a bit more, stay here." Merle left the room and came back quickly with the first aid kit Lina kept under the kitchen sink.

"This shit ya done to yourself is gonna get infected if we don' clean it." Merle pulled out some alcohol swabs and band aids. "You get upset if ya want, but this shit right here is the last time." He looked her dead in the eye as he gave his order. Lina smiled weakly and nodded, before reaching for an alcohol swab. Merle slapped her hand away.

"I gotcha. It's gonna sting." He wiped her wounds quickly with the alcohol, Lina hissed quietly at the pain. Merle blew on the small circular cuts to alleviate some of the pain. Once the alcohol dried he applied the bandages with a practiced precision. Grabbing her by the hands he lifted her to her feet.

Lina looked up at him and smiled "You are good at helping Merle."

He's never been looked at the way Lina was looking at him now. He leaned down and captured her lips in his. Lina gasped but didn't pull away, encouraged by this he deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around her small frame. His tongue had just made it's first lick across her bottom lip when he heard the bedroom door open. Frustrated he straighten up and glared at his brother, who was glaring at him back.

"Johnny's hungry." Daryl's voice was cold. Lina who had been standing somewhat in shock, jumped at the mention of her son.

"Oh God! Sorry, I'll get breakfast done." She rushed out of the bedroom past Daryl.

Daryl closed the bedroom door behind her and walked to his brother.

"What the hell are ya doing?"

Merle snorted in answer "What's it look like?"

"So what? Ya think ya can just add her to the rotation?"

Merle shrugged

"Maybe I should add her ta mine too."

Merle glared at his brother "Fuck you, Daryl!"

"No, Fuck you! She ain't one of the whores we fuck around with. She can't handle it. What she do to her wrists, huh?"

"Some shit with that prick she dated. She…"

"Great," Daryl interrupted. "And you thought kissin' the chick that just got raped was a fuckin' good idea."

"You think you could do better brother?" Merle stepped up to his younger brother. "You can' even spend one fuckin' day with a chick without wantin' ta fuckin' strangle her."

"Yeah, and Ma loved how our pa came home smelling like whores every night. Ya ever been faithful bro?"

Merle growled at that "What's ya big plan then? Let her find some other asshole. Ain't gonna fly no more and ya fuckin' know it."

Daryl stepped away rubbing his face. "Fuck! We'll sort this shit out later. I gotta fuckin' think."

"That's ya fuckin' problem baby brother." Merle walked past him "Ya think 'stead of doing."

Daryl grabbed his brother's arm, "She's been through enough, Merle."

"You think I don't know that! I've been sleepin' with her, hearing her fuckin' nightmares, I came in here to find her with her wrist all screwed up." Merle growled in his face.

That stopped Daryl in his tracks. He had been thinking of all the ways Merle would screw up, that he didn't notice all the things he was doing right. Merle had been doing things for Lina he'd never seen him do for anyone besides himself and their mama. He let go of his brother's arm, sneering at him one last time Merle walked out the door.