Chapter 15
Lina woke up alone on the bed, the sound of plastic rustling to her left caught her attention. Merle was seated on the floor with a huge zip lock bag on his lap. Lina could see the bag was filled with blue crystals, pill bottles, and little baggies of white powder. He was staring at the bag so intently that she was sure he didn't even realize she was awake.
"This is all of it." He said without looking at her. So he knew she was awake, she should have guessed.
She slid off the bed and onto the floor next to him. He reached into the bag and removed the three pill bottles.
"We keep these, you need the pain meds and there's also some antibiotics. I got the clap from Gloria a month ago."
Lina leaned back from him a little. He looked at her and let out a huff that was meant to be a laugh, but didn't quite make it.
"What can I say Lina? I'm a classy guy, get me some high class broads." He turned back to the bag, moving the blue crystals around through the plastic.
"Like me?" Lina felt bad for moving away from him. "I got no room to judge."
"Not like you, ain't no reason you should've ever mixed up with a couple of losers like my brother and me."
It was Lina's turn to give a halfhearted laugh, "I'm a bigger loser than the two of you combined. If there ever was an outcast in this town, it's me. For what it's worth, I'm happy you two came into my life, gave me Johnny. I'll take whatever you and your brother want to give me." She stood up to walk out, Merle no doubt would not appreciate her sentimental speech. He grabbed her wrist before she could go.
"You really are stupid sometimes. We ain't ever leavin', not even if ya wise up and want us gone." He gave a bitter laugh and let her go. "Girl, you are stuck now. No woman escapes the Dixons once they dug their claws in, just ask my mama."
He stood up and pushed the bag into her chest. "Give that ta Daryl, don't let me see it no more. It's startin'." He picked up her duffel bag and his trash bag. "We need ta hurry this up."
She watched him go, Daryl had warned her that Merle got dark during detox. She hadn't expected this level of self-hatred, she had always bought into the mask he wore. Merle Dixon, strong, self-assured, narcissistic, and now she saw the truth. Merle was whoever he needed to be to survive, hiding his true self deep inside. She had always suspected but now she knew, Merle wanted to be a good man, and she believed, that underneath it all, he was.
The move had been surprisingly smooth. Merle didn't have much in the way of clothes so there was plenty of room in the closet for Lina's things and the men didn't use anything but a bar of soap, which doubled as shampoo, so making room for hers and Johnny's things in the bathroom wasn't too difficult either. The trailer needed some serious cleaning and the wash needed to be done, but other than that Lina found herself settling into the Dixons trailer easily.
Merle had been quiet as they loaded and unloaded the bags. He went straight to bed as soon as they were done, only telling Lina to "put her shit wherever and make him somethin' ta eat for later," before passing out. She looked for Daryl, to see if this was normal, she found him in their filthy kitchen with Johnny in his arms.
"He's gonna sleep and eat a lot the first couple of days. He's gonna be all doom and gloom too. Don't argue with 'em and don't try an make 'em feel better, just let it be."
"Ok, how about I make that ham, before it goes bad? I should clean first, how do you guys live like this?" Lina looked around at empty beer bottles and grime that covered most of the kitchen counters.
"It's always been a shit hole, even when Mama was alive. I guess we're use'ta it."
"Sorry, I was rude."
"Ya wanna clean up good, be my guest. I'll watch some TV with Johnny, the livin' rooms alrigh' we cleaned up when he was gonna sleep over."
"Ok, If you don't mind I'll clean the whole trailer and do the laundry too. If Johnny's going to be crawling around I'd feel better disinfecting everything, and with everything you guys have done for us, the least I could do is your laundry."
"Don't thank us yet, you haven't dealt with Merle and his shit, but like I said, have at it." Daryl headed off to the living room with Johnny in his arms.
"Oh, wait Daryl!" She ran to her purse and pulled out the bag of drugs Merle had given her earlier.
"Merle said to give you this." She handed the bag over.
"Did you drive with this Lina?"
"Uh…"
"What the fuck where you thinkin'?" he shouted making Johnny cry. Lina stepped back, Daryl had never scared her until now.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't….I …..sorry, I'm not use to this sort of thing. I wasn't thinking." Lina stammered nervously.
Johnny's face was scrunched up, he shook his head back and forth angrily while he pouted at Daryl. "Naaaaa."
Daryl took a deep breath and tried to calm Johnny, "It's alright little man, Da's sorry." Johnny didn't seem convinced and smacked Daryl on the face for good measure. Daryl grabbed his little hand and kissed it, placating the little boy. He turned to the frightened woman beside him.
"He's a good boy, he defended you."
Lina leaned over and kissed Johnny, who grabbed her face and gave her and extremely sloppy kiss in return.
"Look Lina, it ain't like it was before. Everyone knows your with us now, that includes the cops, that means you gonna get pulled over a whole lot more now. You gotta be careful."
"I will, but it won't matter cause this is the last of it right?"
"I sure as hell hope so." He patted her arm quickly, giving her a small sad smile.
He went into the living room with his son and Lina began tackling the cleaning. It took her two hours to get the kitchen clean enough to cook in. She marinated the ham and stuck it in the oven, then sat at the small kitchen table to peel potatoes for mash potatoes. She figured ham, mash potatoes and maybe a couple of cans of corn could do for dinner. She wanted to get the rest of the trailer in shape by tonight and if the kitchen was any indication she had a long day ahead of her.
By the time Merle got up, Lina was done with dinner. She had just pulled the ham out of the oven when he wandered into the kitchen.
"Did we buy a new trailer?" He mumbled as he looked around the kitchen.
"I'm just cleaning up, dinner is ready, sit down. …..oh…Do you have extra sheets I'm going to wash everything?"
"Daryl and I migh' have one more set each in the closet. What ya make?"
"The ham, mash potatoes and corn…oh and the apple pie."
"Well give it here." Merle sat at the table. Lina quickly fixed him a plate and then went to grab Daryl. Johnny was napping so she stripped Daryl's bed and found the spare set of sheets in the hallway closet. Once she had put fresh sheets on the bed she laid Johnny down and covered him with one of her blankets from home. She was about to go into Merle's room to strip his bed of it's sheets when she nearly bumped into his chest in the hallway.
"You gonna eat?"
"Yeah, later, I just want to get these sheets done."
"Nope," Merle grabbed her upper arm tearing the sheets away and throwing them on the floor, "You cooked this fuckin' meal and now your gonna eat it with us. Your too fuckin' skinny, ya never fuckin' take care of yourself. How are ya gonna help me if you're a weak little waif." He pulled her into the kitchen and sat her at the table. Daryl just rolled his eyes and shook his head at her. His nonchalant attitude at Merles outburst put her at ease. She guessed, in his grouchy way Merle was kinda taking care of her.
"Here," Merle dropped a loaded plate in front of her, before sitting down next to her and digging into his own plate.
"Thank you." She told him, getting only a grunt in response.
They ate in silence, Lina was surprised at how hungry she was, she managed to clean her entire plate and even eat a small slice of pie. The boys nearly ate all the rest of the pie when Daryl remembered that Johnny hadn't had any. He wrapped up the one small slice they had left and put it in the fridge for him. When everyone was done she put their dishes in the sink and went to finish what she had started in the bed rooms. Merle watched her change the sheets, as soon as he noticed her wince he grabbed the sheets from her and put them in the washer.
"We don't got a dryer, gonna have ta hang them in the bathroom. Here take these, they won't knock you out but they'll help with the pain."
She took the pills from him, "Do you need anything Merle?"
"No goin' back to sleep." He shut the door behind him.
She stood in the dark little hallway staring at the two pills he had placed in her palm.
"You don't have to do everything all at once, ya know." Daryl's voice startled her.
"What?"
"You cleaned the damn kitchen, your washin' the sheets, that's enough for today. Your gonna be here a while."
"I guess, I just want things to be ready for Johnny."
"Finish up the kitchen and laundry, and your done for today Lina. You're recovering and I need to sell the rest of Merles shit. You and Johnny can stay in the room with Merle until I'm done, shouldn't take long."
"You're gonna sell drugs?" She did not like the idea of that.
"Gotta, if we don't get rid of that shit, he'll find it. We could use that money too. It'll be fine, I know who to call, everythin' will be gone in a couple of hours."
"Ok, I guess I don't have much of choice."
"I don't like it either, but shit gotta get done."
She nodded and made her way back to the kitchen, cleaning up as quickly as possible, she put the left overs away and washed the dishes. She checked on the sheets and was happy to see they were done. She got Daryl to help her throw them over the shower bar in the bathroom.
"Alright go get Johnny and do not come out unless you absolutely have to."
"Yes, Daryl." She grabbed her son from Daryl's bedroom and walked across the hall into Merle's. She closed the door behind her and locked it for good measure. She kissed Johnny's forehead, the sooner this was done the better. She didn't like the idea of those people in the same house as her baby.