Ch2

For four nights the kids were under constant pressure. They didn't eat, they didn't sleep and if they did they cried during the nights as dreams were filled with nightmares. And it was a nightmare for Nagato to live such a life. What the hell was he supposed to do? How was he to calm them down? Was he even able to do that?

Once more Nagato closed his ears upon hearing Naruto whisper the names of his parents in his sleep. It was worse hearing it like this than when he was awake. His brother Kyuubi shifted closer and embraced him tightly. He didn't say anything, just laid down his hands and rested his head against Naruto's hair. Nagato turned away. This pain… this agony, it had to stop.

…

To overcome such hardship, the first thing Nagato decided to do was move. He packed their stuff, sat the boys in a car and left the town. It held too much pain for them. They needed a fresh start. And more importantly they needed to feel alive again.

It wasn't easy to get the boys back to their old selves again. The death of their parents was a huge wound that couldn't be healed in a day or two. It took weeks, months even, at a point where Nagato was starting to lose hope… but he did not step back. It was his job… he had to make sure the kids were safe. It was a duty, nothing more nothing less. The kids were but a part of another job assigned to him. A job he can't allow himself getting attached to, he can't…

…

…But he did.

It really scared Nagato. This wasn't a lifestyle he had chosen for himself. It was something he always tried to bypass. He didn't want kids or family. How could he? What he was was the reason he chose not to have a family. And the moment he let someone reach out to him, and accept him so much as a friend – they died. And it never changed. Just look what happened. Minato and Kushina were dead, just because his enemies had found out of his bond between them. Just like Yahiko and Konan. And now, he was asked to take care of the kids? 'You fool, Minato.'

…

Closing the door behind himself, Nagato sat before his desk and started cleaning his guns. The kids were asleep and he could finally have a bit of a time to himself. Having met with Jiraiya the previous morning and trying to reach a normal discussion about his next assignment didn't go as planned, in fact ever since that day nothing was going as planned. Nagato's life was turning into a hectic madness, he didn't understand anymore what, where and why. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't think straight and what was worse, he had failed in his mission to take out his assigned target. The boys were starting to affect him in more ways than one and all of them were ways he did not like.

Having to take care of himself and not die was challenging enough, but now he had to take care of the brats too?! Thinking every fucking hour if the kids were alright while he's gone was just…. Nagato dropped his cleaning supplies on the table and buried his fingers in his hair, tugging it tightly. Whenever he went out, his mind was constantly on the kids; whenever he got a call from the job – he was thinking of the kids; whenever he went hunting he was thinking of those goddamned kids! This was so damn frustrating. Those brats were ruining his life. Nagato couldn't deal with this. Those kids were a nuisance. They were affecting him way too much. Everything he had become and lived as was being ruined. Boys could never be safe with him. It would've been better to just rid them off the hardship of this world entirely.

Looking at the disheveled parts of the gun, Nagato suddenly stilled as his eyes landed on shiny clean bullets lining in one go. With hollowed look, he stood from his chair and pulled one of the two guns strapped at the back of his waist. 'How can I protect them, Minato? It is I they need protection from. I'm…' Unlicking the safety, he entered the boys' room and approached the huge bed where they both slept in. He stopped next to the side where a blond mop of hair was visible. The small sounds in the room had Naruto turn from his side and onto his back, his mouth mumbling something in his sleep before settling under a calm sigh.

Nagato frowned. Why had it suddenly become so difficult to draw reason if a second ago he was bent on finishing his problems here and now? Surely he wasn't one to hesitate and shoot a person whenever they were staring straight into his eyes. So what was stopping him now? The kid wasn't even looking at him. Clenching the handle tighter, Nagato wasn't able to understand why was his hand suddenly shaking so much. He never hesitated, he wasn't afraid, and he most certainly shouldn't be rethinking his decisions, he never did before.

'Shit!' Nagato palmed his face and gripped his bangs into a fist. He couldn't do it, not even by force. 'What the hell is happening to me?'

"Naga-chan?" Nagato gasped and quickly looked towards the small voice. Kyuubi was rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What are you doing?"

With a gun still in hand, he looked back at Naruto's sleeping face. A strange sense of attachment was starting to present itself, but he chose not to acknowledge it. It was probably just a phase.

"I'm not sure." whispered Nagato.

Kyuubi tilted his head with a confused frown on his sleepy face, voicing out a strange thinking sound. Nagato was tempted to have a laugh at that funny expression, but quickly composed himself and sat on the edge of the bed, placing the weapon back inside its holster.

"Go back to sleep." Pulling the covers to the side, Nagato signaled Kyuubi to lie back down. Unable to argue, considering he was halfway conscious anyway, Kyuubi fell back into the sheets and snuggled to his brother's side. Arranging the sheets, Nagato halted for a moment as his eyes drank in the picture of the boys. They were so small, so vulnerable and so unprotected.

Naruto – the younger of two was gifted with his father's looks but possessed a friction of his mother's personality; while Kyuubi – the elder of two, was a small copy of Kushina, but had received the greater majority of his father's calm and more composed character. Both showed great promise in the future, determination that could surpass many and a strength that was shown in something beyond physical strength. Nagato had no doubt that these kids were going to grow into something great. Unless something interrupts them and stops this growth. And right now that something was Nagato himself.

Nagato went back to his desk with a heavy heart. Yes, a lot was depending on him now. Starting with how he chooses to raise the boys and ending with what he allows them to eat. Switching the desk lamp off, he sank in the chair and drifted into uncomfortable sleep once more.

…

After another few weeks, Nagato was meeting up with Jiraiya. This time, it was in a restaurant. What was supposed to be a normal and relaxed conversation between the two soon turned for the worse as Nagato announced that he was going to give the children away.

"What?" Jiraiya's smile was whipped off his face. "Are you trying to pull my leg, Nagato?"

"Boys need a normal life, Jiraiya. They need care, good environment and friends. I can't be there to watch them 24/7. I can't allow them to have friends. And the way I live, I can't guarantee a profound safety.

"Whenever I leave them alone it makes my mind turn. Whenever they're approached by someone it makes me wonder if that's my next target. Whenever someone looks our way it forces me to hold my hand from shooting." Nagato knew he was right and he had to make Jiraiya understand that Minato's decision was wrong. Nagato wasn't the right person to take care of the boys, he could never be. Why did Minato choose him?

"Nagato. Minato entrusted you his kids because he believed only you could take good care of them. It wasn't just because you were his friend or the kids' godfather. It was because you were the only person whom he was ready to place his entire trust in." Jiraiya told him.

"What about you? Minato had bestowed just as much trust in me as he did in you-…"

"If not less. Be honest Nagato. I am not the right man for this. I mean look at my life. It is… well… let me just say, the kids would have a bad influence."

"There I can't argue with you."

"Oi!"

"But they can't be safe with me!" Nagato grit out, "I'm not a good parent figure, nor am I a nice guy. I'm a criminal, I live a dangerous life and have many dangerous enemies. Enemies who didn't hesitate to kill my friends! What makes you think that the boys will be in lesser danger with me if it's me who caused them this whole suffering in the beginning? Minato and Kushina DIED because of ME! What proof do you have that it won't happen again?!"

Jiraiya was silent. Nagato lowered his head, his anger subsiding now that he finally made the man understand.

"Well, for one – that is exactly why boys are the safest with you." Jiraiya's words struck Nagato hard. Grabbing his jacket, Jiraiya paid for their meal. "Personally, I can't think of a person more suited for protecting those kids other than you. But it's your choice after all. Whether you feel it right to give those boys in the hands of complete strangers, it is entirely up to you to decide if it is right or wrong." Giving a pat on Nagato's shoulder, Jiraiya left.

Nagato clenched his teeth. He hated that man. Hated how he twisted his thinking and how he was always right. Because Jiraiya knew that with his eyes, he can make sure the boys don't become easy targets. Besides, there was no other person alive whom Nagato himself could ever allow to leave the kids with and not worry for their safety still.