Oh dear I almost forgot to uplad this chapter, sorry! I'm quite in a hurry so no chatting today :p

January, 4th

No matter how hard, how tough it is, life goes on. The first week was horrible. I know I'm lucky that there was always someone by my side. Someone being strong when I couldn't. I know Hijikata suffered as much as I did. Everyone knew how dear my sister was to him. The funerals took place without incident. It was a simple ceremony, and since my sister was my only family left... Some of her friends were there. And almost everyone from the 3-Z. China stayed by my side for the whole day, doing small talk. I asked the teacher what she meant when she told me she already went through that, and I learnt about her mother. I can see how painful it is to her to live that again through me, so I did my best to listen to her, and even to laugh a bit at her silly jokes. I even got the courage to put some cod-liver oil in her apple juice. She emptied the glass on my head and the teacher got mad at her. And time flew. Social services wanted to find me a foster family, and Kondo offered to do it (I seriously don't know how old this guy is) for the last year before I'm 18. We're sharing an apartment now. On the morning of the 25th, I found a pile of presents around our Christmas Tree (even though it's not such of a tradition in this country). There were all anonymous, but one of them contained a dog poop and a paper stating "Truce is over". At the bottom of the box, a stick of incense with a label "for your sister". Then, at the end of the holidays, I went back to school. Zaki, Hijikata, Kondo and I went praying at the shrine for the new year, and even if pain's still here, sharp as ever, I'm able to live an almost normal life.

By the way, I still need to get revenge for the porn magazines that fell from my shoe locker when I opened it, in front of forty person.

January, 6th

Dear Diary,

I quickly saw Papi earlier. He came home, asked if everything was fine between Kamui and me. I told him Kamui invited really weird friends home, but he just smiled and told me I had to let Kamui live his life, that I was older now and I couldn't keep my brother just for me. Let's note that this wonderful big bro I want to keep for my self did a painful arm lock because I wanted to take "his" orange juice. But as soon as Papi told me he was leaving again for an indeterminate time, I understood it was not worth keeping on complaining. When I was little, he spent a lot of time with us, but when Mami died it all changed. He worked more and more, leaving home for long times, telling Kamui to take care of me. However, rather than taking care of his lovely little sister, he was calling a baby-sitter and was hanging out in town the whole day. Our abandon doesn't even affect me anymore. As soon as I'm turning 18 (next November...) I'm leaving this house.

I was running short on ideas for the Sadist (yesterday he "tripped" while holding a bucket full of fresh range eggs) so Anego suggested that I tape with double-faced tape his shoes and also his chair. She tried a brand on the Gorilla and it worked pretty well. Let's try that!

January, 14th

Today I splashed oxygenated water on China's hair. She didn't get what it was and told me how disappointed of me she was to see me doing such a weak thing. I can't wait to be tomorrow and to see her stupid face with her hair partially bleached!

She kept her scarf in class. When the teacher asked her to take it off so that she wouldn't be cold when going outside, she refused. She moved once and I saw the colour of her neck. I can't be the only one noticing all her bruises. My eyes met Shimura's and I knew. I wasn't the only one. She mimed me to meet her at the end of the day. She might know more than what I do.

January, 15th

Dear Diary,

Anego is hiding something from me. I don't know what, but yesterday everning she disappeared as soon as the bell rang, and when I asked her to help me with my maths she told me she was in a hurry and she'd help me another time.

My neck hurts. I'm doing my best to hide it, but I thing the teacher saw it. When I close my eyes, I still can see Kamui's death stare while I was choking, I still hear him telling me with an icy voice that the next time I speak badly to him, he'd break my neck. I should leave, but I can't. He's my only family. For the best and the worst.

Anyway, this morning I was dreaded to to that my hair had blonde spots all over it! It took me a while to understand it was because of the Sadist's water. I poked a hole in an ink cartridge and I emptied it on the back of his white shirt while he was looking away. He didn't notice. I still have to find how to get my real hair colour back!

January, 20th

The plan Shimura and I imagined is setting up. When she's talking to China about her bruises, she's talking about falls, about how she hit herself while opening the cupboard. We have to find another solution. As long as she doesn't admit it herself, there's nothing we can do. It makes me sick to let this happening, to know it's happening, but to be unable to do anything. Shimura tries to dissuade me to have a personal revenge, but I feel like it's going to end that way anyway. She told me all that would bring would be more violence on China. That's the only thing keeping me from killing one or two people.

Today, I sprinkled sand on China's bento. To think that the first time I saw her, I thought she was insignificant...She became my favourite toy.

And no one, no one hurts my toys.

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