A/N: Here's the second chapter to my tag to 7.10. I've made sure not to read any other tags so apologies if my thoughts have been covered by other fics you've already read. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 2 - Running Fast

She ran. The buds of her iPod she removed from her ears ten minutes before, even the random shuffle of songs mocking her dark mood. Every song suddenly seemed to be about love, hope and everlasting devotion. She snorted, the pain in her thighs taking her mind off the pain in her heart for a few moments. Then it was back. She ran faster. Rubber soles gripping the ground beneath her. Faster. She began to count her steps, to make her brain think of anything else apart from him. The stitch in her side and her dry mouth finally made her stop to catch her breath. He filled her thoughts once again. Selfish bastard. She took a gulp of water and stooped over, resting her hands on her thighs, breathing heavily. Even after a night without sleep where she had re-read every one of his letters and a day in Dallas taking witness statements she knew she would have no hope of slumber tonight unless physically exhausted. She flexed her muscles preparing to run again. Her cell phone, on silent, flashed at her from inside her backpack as she put the water bottle away. Six missed calls. She pulled it out and looked at his photo as it flashed before her. Tears pricked at her eyes as her finger hovered between accept and decline. It stopped and went to voicemail. Another message. Four now. She hadn't listened to any of them. Was this goodbye? Had he already left? She wasn't sure she'd be able to listen to another one of those. Abbott had played her his message after killing McAllister. I'll miss you. The last words she ever expected to hear from him. And yet here they were again. The phone in her hand flashed again. She jabbed the green button. If it was goodbye then he could say it and she could hear it in person at least.

'What?' she panted, still a little out of breath from her run.

'Lisbon? Are you okay?' His voice was shaky, full of concern.

She rolled her eyes. What a question after the events of yesterday. Of the last few days. 'Okay?' she replied, trying to keep her temper from flaring.

He stuttered. 'I mean...I know you're not okay. But...you sound like you're out of breath.'

Sarcasm dripped from every syllable. 'Yeah, I'm just great, Jane. Decided to pick up some strange and we're going at it in the Silver Bucket.'

A second of silence. Sheer confusion in his tone. 'I'm sorry, you decided to pick up some what?'

She rolled her eyes again and an involuntarily smile drifted across her lips. For a man who knew practically everything about everything he knew practically nothing about more modern popular references. 'I went for a run. What do you want?'

'Oh. Well I was waiting at the office for you to get back from Dallas. I saw your car was still here so...I...um...I got a little worried.'

That was Jane speak for him probably going absolutely frantic, more than likely worried she was in some bar drowning her sorrows. It had entered her head to do just that but she wasn't about to fall into that pit of despair. Instead when she had made it back from Dallas she had changed into the workout clothes she kept in the locker in the gym in the basement of the FBI building, not even bothering to go into the office. The thought of both an empty brown leather couch and a full one both something she wasn't yet ready to see.

'I decided to run home.'

'But that's miles.'

'I'm aware. You know for someone who's supposed to be leaving me you're not doing such a bang up job of letting go.'

She heard him clear his throat. 'Yeah...well...I want to talk to you about that. About what I said yesterday after the funeral.'

'Have you changed your mind about letting me do my job?'

'Um...'

'Then we have nothing to talk about.' She pushed the red button violently only for the display to light up a moment later. It went dark after one ring and a text message popped up instead. I disagree. Please Teresa.

As usual with Patrick Jane her defences were weak. She texted him back. I'll be home in an hour.

I'll c u there.

When she finally got to the end of her street she was exhausted but a little high on the adrenalin and in slightly better form. Over the past hour she had began thinking about life as a single woman again. She thought about training for a marathon the following year, perhaps making some money for charity in the process and donating it in Vega's name. She would focus on her career. It would be strange for Cho to be her boss but she was sure she would get used to it in time. She would look for ways to gain promotion herself. She was strong. She had got through worse than a boyfriend leaving her. Even if that boyfriend was always going to be the love of her life. And she always knew he was a flight risk so she should have known better in the first place. She would get back to the person she was PJ (Pre Jane – a term she had coined and kept to herself less than a year of knowing him somehow realising her life was never going to be the same again once she met him).

As she got to the door she saw her car was parked at her house and the lights were on inside. She opened the door and saw him standing over her stove, stirring a pot of sauce. He glanced over and dazzled her with a smile, albeit a nervous one. Her mouth dropped open.

'What are you doing here?'

'Making dinner. I drove your car home so you'd have it in the morning. How was your run?'

She stomped up to him. He wasn't going to do this to her. Not act like suddenly everything was fine between them. He pulled back a little, perhaps expecting a punch in the nose. She pulled back herself, not quite trusting the fact that his fear may be well warranted. She gestured to the table set for dinner. 'What is this, the last supper?'

'I hope not' he replied softly and earnestly.

She blinked a couple of times rapidly. Wearily, 'Jane-'

'Why don't you grab a shower? I'll dish out dinner. Then we'll talk.'

'Is this goodbye?' she asked quietly, hating herself for sounding so vulnerable.

His voice cracked in return. 'I hope not' he said again.

Changed into a black T shirt and leggings she sat at the table as he spooned tomato sauce onto the chicken he'd cooked. Her thighs and calf muscles were burning from her extreme workout and she shifted in the seat uncomfortably.

'Quite a run, huh?'

'Figured I'd take a leaf out of your book and run away from my problems.'

He tilted his head. 'Did it help?'

She glanced up from her food that she was pushing around her plate. 'No.'

He nodded slowly and put his knife and fork down. It looked like he hadn't eaten a thing either. 'Maybe I should have suggested talking first and then dinner.'

'Assuming you're still going to be here after talking.'

'Yes. Assuming that.'

They silently got up from the table and made their way to the couch. Lisbon stopped before she made it there and sat in an armchair next to it. Jane sat on the closest cushion to her at a right angle.

'So, you wanted to talk' she said quietly.

He nodded and looked at his feet. 'First of all I'm sorry about yesterday. Springing that on you after the funeral. It was...insensitive of me. It was selfish and not the right place to say something like that.'

'No argument on that score.'

'Teresa-'

'Actually, do you mind if I go first. There are some things I need to say.'

Although caught off guard he replied, 'Please, go ahead.'

'I've never told you about the first partner I had when I was a cop in San Francisco.'

The topic threw him instantly as did how quietly she had broached the subject. She sat in the armchair and pulled her legs up beneath her, pulling at a stray thread on her leggings.

'No, you haven't.'

'Her name was Vicki Monroe. We were at the Academy together, graduated the same time and we couldn't believe it when we were assigned to the same precinct.' She smiled at the memory before looking at him. 'You know I don't make friends easily.'

He nodded, a slight smile on his lips. 'Well, yes, I have noticed that over the years. You find it hard to let people in.'

'Yeah. Well, with Vicki. I don't know. We just clicked I guess. First day we met we just...understood each other. She had a tough childhood too, abandoned by her father, mother was an alcoholic, younger siblings. Guess it was natural for us to bond when you consider the similarities we shared. But she wasn't like me. She wasn't...how did you put it once...well her social skills were a little better than mine. She was more like you I guess. Covered up her insecurities with a facade of cheeriness. When we began working together you reminded me of her at times. Maybe that was part of the reason I let you away with so much, even in the early days.'

Jane shook his head. This 'predictable' woman couldn't seem to stop surprising him. 'You're using the past tense. I'm assuming there isn't a cheery end to this anecdote.'

'We were finishing our shift and it was our turn to get the donuts for the rest of the squad room. We went into the store and she went over to wait at the cash register while I got the donuts. There was a guy already there so she stood behind him. He turned around when he sensed someone there. While I was putting the donuts into a bag he pulled out a gun and shot her. Just like that. No confrontation, no talking him out of it. Just a drugged out loser out of his mind who thought she was coming to arrest. She didn't even have time to draw her gun.' Tears fell on her cheeks as she recounted the memory.

Jane sat forward on the couch, tentatively touching her knee and rubbing it gently. She jerked at the sensation as it pulled her out of her thoughts about that day and then sighed, smiling sadly at him. 'I couldn't react for a second. Just dropped the bag and froze for a moment. He hadn't even noticed me. Then he pulled the gun up and aimed it at the shopkeeper who was screaming by this stage. That seemed to bring me to my senses and I called out to him, making him change his aim to me. He was the first person I ever killed. A man I didn't even know the name of.'

'I...I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. You've never mentioned her before. When you heard about Vega...it made you think about her, about that day.'

She shrugged. 'I don't say a lot of things, Jane. And I didn't just think about her when I heard about Vega. I think about her every single day. She was my best friend. Probably the only real friend I ever made...until you.' She inhaled deeply so she could continue. 'I...I'm sorry if you think I've not appreciated how hard it must be for you to see me do my job. Maybe I haven't given it the attention it deserved. I know it must be terrifying. But...the reason I do it...the reason my job's so important to me is to stop lunatics like the one who shot Vicki. I don't do it out of vanity.'

Tears fell down Jane's cheeks and he nodded. 'I've never thought you did it for vanity reasons, Teresa. I know you do it so you can make a difference, to stop injustice. I guess I never understood why it's so personal to you until now, though.'

She touched the hand on her knee and rubbed her fingers along his knuckles. She kept her gaze there and her voice was just a whisper. 'I know what losing someone you love suddenly is like, Jane. I've had it in my life since I was twelve. When I was told I would never see my mother again. That her body was too beat up for an open casket. I understand how difficult it is to get over. In fact, I don't actually think that you ever do get over it. Not when you truly love someone. But...you learn to live with it. Day by day. I've seen what grief can do to people. How much it can ruin people and stop them from going through that process. My father.' She glanced up at him. 'You. You grieved for them for over a decade. It's time to stop the grief from ruling your life and the choices you make now.'

'It's not grief that's ruling my life, Teresa. It's the fear of losing you that is.'

'And that fear is based on what happened to them.' She paused and added in a louder tone, hers eyes locked on his, 'You truly believe you're ready to move on from Angela?'

He frowned. 'I have moved on. What have the last few months been about if I haven't been?'

She pursed her lips. 'In my opinion? Now, when I look at things more objectively? Now, when I try and take myself out of the 'love bubble'?'

He nodded.

'Dipping your toes in the water.'

He moved back from her. 'Dipping my toes in the water? I'd say it was a little more than that.'

Quietly, 'Would you?' She reached forward and touched the wedding band on his finger. 'Because although I admit our jobs are dangerous maybe it's not the only reason you're trying to run from this. Because if you love me...if you've truly fallen in love with me then you need to accept all that that entails. Including the risks love brings with it. That love is dangerous. It's illogical. It's unsafe. It makes us prone to be hurt. Even if I agree to a less dangerous position at work I might still be taken away from you just as easily. We've seen plenty of innocent victims in our time who've just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe you're not ready for that. Maybe you never will be.'

Lisbon got up from the chair and got a bottle of water from the fridge leaving him to ponder her words. She sat down on the couch beside him as he sat and ran his fingers over his gold band. 'I love you, Patrick. But...I'm not willing to wait another decade for you to decide if you're ready to take another leap forward in this relationship.'

He turned his face to her and studied her entire face with his eyes. He cupped the side of her face gently, rubbing his thumb over its curve, her cheek glistening from the tears she had shed. Suddenly the pain in his face was replaced by a smile. 'I think it's time we made a plan.'

A/N: Next chapter will be the last one where they both talk it out.