Hey y'all, Layman here!
So who here has read Weiss Reacts? It's a funny (if somewhat highly inaccurate to canon) story were Weiss reacts fanfiction, tropes, videogames, and etc. In it, there's a character called Vivi, who's a sentient Weiss plushie.
Vivi is the bossest character on the whole fic.
And ElfCollaborator, the author, has graciously allowed me to write this little anecdote.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
"W-W-W-W-Weiss-sempai!" Velvet cried as she was once again punted into the stratosphere after the umpteenth failed kidnapping of said "Weiss-sempai" this week. Following not far behind was a small, Weiss shaped plushie named Vivi, Velvet's partner in crime and more often than not the voice of reason to her partner's wannabe Yandere machinations.
"Pipiipipii pipi pipipipiipipipi!" the plushie scolded, a long suffering sweatdrop on her brow.
"The water buffalo were completely necessary!" the bunny girl protested, "How else could I have made a machine that creates vanilla sorbet in the shape of tiny sharks that actually works?"
"Pipi pi pipipi."
"T-t-talking is for the weak!" Velvet huffed, "O-only by relentlessly and secretly following the object of my affections in every aspect of their lives, followed by forcibly kidnapping them and hiding them away from the rest of the world, will I truly make her love me!"
"Pipipipi."
"It works fine! It's just that certain blond haired, big chested obstacles sometimes get in my way."
"Pi pi pipi pi."
"OK, so Yang might have foiled me on a couple...hundred occasions, b-b-but I have a good feeling about the next attempt!"
By this point the two of them had reached the peak of their trajectory, and began their fall back to Vytal.
"Pipi piipipi pipi," the plushie said, once again trying to suggest an alternative method of wooing the Schnee heiress.
And, like usual, Velvet staunchly refused to see reason.
"Stalking and kidnapping your destined love is the Scarletina way! Passed down through the Scarletina line for generations! Even thinking of doing anything else would be blasphemy!"
"Pipipii, piipipipii-" Vivi tried to say before Velvet continued unheeded.
"It must just be something with the way I set up the shark tank, but it could also be the tiny hole in the burlap sack that the salesman assured me were top quality; looks like someone's getting a little visit from Mr. Grimmbane, I can tell you that!"
Vivi just sighed. She did her best to help her partner of questionable sanity, she really did, but Dust help her it was difficult some times...
"We need some advice," Velvet decreed, "Once we land, we must entreat O-Yuno-sama and learn the deeper secrets of Yandere!"
"Pipi, pipii...," Vivi sighs, resigning to just going along with the crazy.
"Oh, don't be like that," said Velvet, the ground now getting uncomfortably close, "One quick black ritual and Weiss-sempai will be all the close to being-"
At the moment the ground decided connect with the Bunny and the Plushie, halting further conversation for the time being.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
After a quick stint in the school infirmary (they were both fine, though Vivi had a couple loose seems) Velvet and Vivi returned to Team CFVY's dorm room to prepare for the dark magics that would be needed to summon the Goddess of Yanderes. The rest of her team was off doing...elsewhere, since none of them wanted anything to do with their crazy Yandere of a teammate (and Coco wasn't in her Mocha personality at the moment). Velvet immediately went about setting up the candles and the Dust circle, and was now searching for the Yandere Scroll to entreat said goddess with.
"WHERE THE BLOODY HELL DID IT GO?"
It wasn't going that well.
Vivi was sitting on her partner's desk, munching on a miniature cup of vanilla sorbet, watching as Velvet scurried to and fro.
"You know, you could actually help me look for the damn thing," the Rabbit Faunus groaned, gently moving various bits of her Weiss Shrine out of the way to look for the offending piece of parchment.
"Pipipipi pipi pipiipi."
"Because you can fit into places I can't reach," Velvet reminded her, "since you're so small-"
"PIPIPIPIPIPIPI!"
"Sorry! I meant 'fun sized'."
"Pipipi, pipi!"
"Please help me look?" she asked, trying to look as adorable as possible as she asked. Since she was a natural Bunny girl, it didn't really take much to achieve that. ...when she wasn't being a bat [censor] crazy Yandere, of course.
"Pipipi!" Vivi acquiesced, hopping down and jogging over to the shrine. Once there, Velvet lifted a stack of unsorted photos of Weiss out of the way so the plushie could scoot behind the the mess.
"See anything?" called Velvet after Vivi disappeared from view.
"Pi pi!" Vivi called back, having found nothing yet. Granted she'd only been back here for a few seconds, but Velvet wasn't exactly the most patient of individuals when her beloved, flat-chested crush was concerned.
This wasn't to say there was nothing back here, as the various odds and ends in front of her attributed to: many photos that had fallen from their perches, a shark plushie, a rotten carrot (the heck did that get here?), and a couple bits of Weiss's clothes that had been torn in battle, and a portal to another dimension.
"Pi pi?" Vivi wondered, moving closer to the portal.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
The next thing Vivi knew, she was tumbling through psychedelic tunnel of randomness.
"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" she calmly stated as she continued her uncontrolled tumbling.
The tunnel she tumbled through was almost too much for her adorable plushie brain to handle; colors swirled, forming half realized images before fading away and morphing into something else. Occasionally she would see The Beatles float by, wearing their costumes from the "I am the Walrus" video. Other times she was able to pear past the cylinder of shifting colors and glimpse what looked to be other worlds. But as quickly as she could focus on them, they disappeared.
And just like that she was spat back out.
"PIIIIIIIII-" *poofsqueak!* She collided with a wall, slowly sliding down a moment later.
"Pi?" she wondered as she examined her new surrounding, rubbing her squishy forehead. Surprisingly, this new location bore a striking resemblance to Beacon Academy; the gray walls, the unassuming doors...she was in the dorms! In fact, she wasn't to far from Team CFVY's room by the looks of it. (Pretty strange of the portal to only send her a few meters from the room. Then again, it was pretty small...) After taking a brief moment to dust herself off, Vivi headed off to report back to Velvet.
However, there was one teeeeeeny tiny little thing preventing her from doing that.
Namely, a horde of female students who took notice of the little plushie in the shape of Weiss Schnee.
"IT'S SO CUTE~!" they all squealed, immediately crowding around the startled and somewhat frightened Vivi.
Pipi pi pipipi? she fretted, as the throng of girls tittered away at her cuteness. Sure she was freaking adorable and everything, but no one ever acted like this around her before! Yes, she'd seen and done crazy things before (her mission with Sir Lyserg came to mind) but even she trembled against the uncheckable might of teenage girls when they saw something cute.
So before any of them got the idea to feel how soft her plushie exterior actually was, she used one of the girls' heads as a springboard, jumped onto the wall, and ran along it for about thirty feet before leaping down an adjacent hallway, going as fast as her stubby plushie legs could take her. Eventually she was able to shake off her squeeing pursuers and made it to CFVY's room.
The only problem was that the door seemed to be locked. She tried to use her own miniature Scroll to unlock it, but for some reason the door wouldn't accept her codes anymore.
OK, now things were starting to get weird.
Suddenly the door burst open, revealing Coco, the leader of Team CFVY.
Pi pipipi pi pipi? Vivi thought, unsure which of Coco's split personalities was in control.
"OK, who's trying to break into our-" she said before she realized no one was there. She looked down on a lark, where she promptly saw Vivi. "Well now, what do we have here?"
"Pipipi..." Vivi sighed, glad the leader was in her normal personality and not any of the others.
Unfortunately she sighed too soon, since she was summarily swept up and snuggled into Coco's stylishly svelte arms.
"And you can even talk!" the fashionista squealed, twirling around in glee. "Oh Light, you are just the cutest thing ever!" She suddenly gasped, "Yatsu and Fox need to see you!" She then set Vivi on her bed and, with a declaration of "Wait right there!", the fashion conscious team leader disappeared, shutting the door behind her, effectively locking Vivi in again.
The plushie didn't have to despair for long, however, since Coco rushed back in a few minutes later, followed by a fidgeting, unsure-
"See Velvet?" Coco said to the team's resident Faunus, "Isn't she just the cutest little thing?"
Vivi's soft, cottony heart swelled as her "mother" appeared, her already cartoonishly wide eyes getting wider and glistening with tears of joy.
"Pi!" she cheered, leaping onto Velvet's blazer and nuzzling her face into her shoulder.
"Well damn, I guess she really likes you," Coco chuckled, busy sending messages to Yatsuhashi and Fox on her Scroll.
"Y-Yeah, she certainly does," Velvet agreed. She was a bit unnerved by the sentient Weiss Schnee plushie, considering plushies normally didn't spontaneously come to life, but the rational part of her brain assured her that the tiny terrycloth toy didn't mean her any harm. She pet Vivi on the head, "Um, do you have a name?"
"Pipipi pi pipipi, pipipi!" Vivi said, wondering why Velvet suddenly didn't recognize her.
"...You name is Pipi?" Velvet attempted.
"Yeah," Coco said, "I didn't get any of that either."
And now Velvet couldn't understand her anymore? What was this hellish Bizzaro world had she landed in?
Shaking her head sorrowfully she jumped over to Coco's nightstand, dug out a pencil and paper, and quickly wrote down her name, stating "Pi pi pi!" when she finished.
"Oh, Vivi!" Coco realized, "That makes more sense."
"Where did you come from, Vivi?" asks Velvet.
[Velvet brought me to life using Life Dust], she wrote.
"I've never even heard of that type of Dust," Velvet said, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "And even if it exists, I wouldn't use it so irresponsibly."
Vivi gasped, her eyes welling up with tears.
[I-I-It's n-not like I asked to b-b-be created!], she wrote, stutters and all. She then rushed out of the room, sobbing in the cutest way possible.
"Ouch, probably should've worded that differently there, Velvs."
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Vivi just wanted to get back home. Since she'd come to this bizarre mirror world she'd not only been accosted by Weiss fangirls (she assumed), but Velvet didn't recognize her, couldn't understand her, and now she thought that Vivi was an abomination against nature.
OK, that last part might have some merit, but that didn't mean it helped her shattered, plushie heart at all. She didn't particularly want to go back to CFVY's room at the moment, and she didn't remember seeing a portal around where she landed, so her only option was to find some other way to return back to Vytal. She couldn't do it alone though; extra-dimensional quantum mechanics wasn't really her field of expertise. No, that was more then realm of-
"Son of a-!" Cardin yelped as he nearly tripped over the five inch tall stuffed effigy. "Who left their dolly lying around?"
"Some poor loser with a crush on the Ice Queen, apparently," Russel deduced, bending down to get a closer look at Vivi, "Though not a very big crush; the hair's all wrong!"
"And you know this...how?" Dove asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.
"I told you, I don't have a crush on Weiss!" the mohawked boy retorted hotly, "Besides, how many other chicks do you know with long, white hair?"
"I can think of a few...," Sky said, grinning lecherously.
"Yeah, nobody wants to hear about your creepy cartoon pornos," Dove sighed, giving the bluenette a slap upside his head.
"Pipipipipi pipi pipipi?" Vivi asked, hoping to get their attention so she could ask them for help. They weren't her first choice, but Cardin did have a thing for plushies, so maybe she could-
"It speaks!" shrieked Russel, Dove and Sky, all jumping behind Cardin as per custom.
"K-K-Kill it with fire!" Sky whimpered.
"Pipi pipipi pi pipipi," Vivi tried to reassure them, with little to no avail.
"Are you guys serious?" Cardin scoffed, grabbing Vivi by her ("Piiiii!") super deformed head, "It's a stuffed doll for crying out loud! What's it gonna do, cuddle you to death?"
His team had the good graces to look ashamed at their "premature judgment".
"Although...," Cardin drawled, scratching his chin, "I am interested in how this thing is able to talk. Hey Russel, lemma see one of your daggers, will ya?"
Upon hearing this Vivi redoubled her escape efforts, screaming "PIIIIIIIIII!" and rapidly flailing her stubbly arms and legs.
This had no affect whatsoever, as she was being held in space by her head.
Mostly on instinct, she summoned Slugger from hammerspace and gave Cardin the mother of all whacks to the face (don't worry, kids, his Aura took the worst of it), sending him flying back into his teammates. This in turn caused her to be released from Cardin's grasp, whereupon she readily took the chance to make like a tree and get the [censor] outta there before any of the boys got their wits about them.
Pipipipi pipi pipipi pipipi, she remembered; of course this Cardin wouldn't be like the Cardin back home, it was a different universe after all. She must have been too distraught to think clearly.
Which meant that her hopes of ever returning home were quickly dwindling, since her lifeline was more than likely not what she was hoping for. Still, Vivi had to at least try!
After she retraced her steps to CFVY's room– well, the hall, at least –it didn't take too much longer to reach her destination.
The only problem now was how to gain entry. There weren't any vents around, and she was too short to reach the handle, not counting the fact that she couldn't even unlock the doors here. Not do be deterred, the adamant [of heart] plushie summoned Slugger and used the handle to knock on the door. (No sense in destroying the door, am I right?)
A moment later Ruby opened the door, looking around in confusion when she realized no one was there.
Wow, deja-vu.
"Hello?" she said, looking around the empty hall as little question marks floated over her head, "Is anyone there?"
"Pipipi pipi!" Vivi called from the floor.
Ruby looked down and saw the Weiss shaped plushie waving up at her.
"Hey guys?" the young reaper called back into the room, "Someone left Weiss another doll."
"Throw it in the bin with the rest!" Weiss shouted.
Vivi gulped.
"But it looks so cute~!" Ruby pleaded, picking Vivi up and cradling her like a baby. She wasn't exactly thrilled at being manhandled again...but this was actually pretty nice, "Come on, can't we at least keep one of them? You could hang it the bedpost or-"
"No." Weiss stomped over to her team leader, metaphorically putting her foot down, "If I keep one of them then it sends the message that I've accepted their confession of..." As Weiss cast her eyes on Vivi, the hard, cold shard of ice that was her heart started to melt against her will.
"Pi?" Vivi said.
This was the final nail in the coffin of Weiss's cold heart.
"...the cutest thing I've ever seen before in my life!" The heiress then swiped Vivi out of Ruby's arms ("Hey!"), nuzzling her against her cheek, "You're just so adorable! Yes you are, yes you are!"
"Pipi pipipi pipi pipi," Vivi sighed, fully feeling the gross irony of the situation; Velvet was going to be sooooo jealous when she heard about this!
"What do mean 'Of course it works out here'?" Weiss asked, still nuzzling the sentient plushie. Then a very important fact clicked for her, "Hang on, how are you able to talk so well?"
"Are we hearing the same doll?" Ruby asks, the floating question marks retuning, "Because all I heard was 'pi pi pi'."
"No you dolt, that was clearly Remnan!" She held Vivi up to her face in cupped hands, "Say something else, it doesn't matter what!"
"Weiss, you really don't need to-"
"Quiet, you!" she snapped (with no real malice behind it) before turning back to Vivi, "You must have a name, right? Let's start with that."
"Pipi!" Vivi stated emphatically, raising her arm in the air.
"See? You heard that, right?"
"I heard her say 'pee pee'," Ruby confessed, "Doesn't really sound that polite..."
"Vivi!" Weiss corrected, "Forgetting for a moment the gutter your mind fell into, how are you still not understanding her?"
Before Ruby could respond, Yang and Blake walked through the still opened door, Yang holding Zwei on a leash. (Blake was fidgeting uncomfortably.)
"We're back!" Yang announced, unhooking the leash, "Zwei got his walk and Blake got her porn!"
"*Bark*!" Zwei barked.
"They're not porn!" Blake scolded, indignant, "They're fine literature about two teenagers from rival Ninja clans who fall in love, weathering their clans' hatred of each other so they-"
"So they can do the nasty, with whole chapters dedicated to those escapades." Yang finished, hoping up onto her bunk. "That's porn in my book."
"It's not porn...," the Faunus protested weakly, hugging the small shopping bag to her chest protectively.
Yang just chuckled and turned to face her sister and Weiss. "So whatchya got there, Weiss, another gift from one of your fanboys? If so, they got the hair wrong."
"This is Vivi," Weiss said, holding Vivi up for her other teammates to see. "Apparently she's a stuffed doll that can talk, but your sister seems bent on playing this silly game where she can understand Remnan anymore."
"Pipipipipi!"
"Um," Yang said hesitantly, raising her finger, "Don't know what to tell ya, Weiss, I didn't understand that either." She leaned over the side of her bunk, "Et tu, Blake?"
"Gibberish to me," she said, hiding her bag under sher pillow.
"*Bark*!" Zwei barked.
Weiss was flabbergasted. "Are all of you dense? She clearly said 'Pleasure to meet you all'! How do you-" She was interrupted when she felt Vivi patting her chest. "...yes?"
"Pipi pipipippi pipipi pipi pipipi."
"So no one can understand you, and I'm the first person who has?"
What happened next was the last thing Vivi expected, and also the best thing she could have hoped for; Weiss drew her into a hug, pressing her plushie self against her bosom.
Pi pipi! Vivi cheered internally.
"You poor, poor little me!" the heiress gushed, "All alone in this huge building with no way to properly communicate your plight to any-"
"Pipipi pipipi pipi."
"Oh, you can write..."
"Why don't you start from the beginning?" Ruby suggested, "Weiss can act as translator since she's the only one who can understand what you say, OK?"
"Pi pi pi!"
"...she says 'sure thing'."
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
"So," Blake said after Vivi finished explaining, "you come from a world like Remnant, only Vale as a country is simply just called Vytal, and we're all different there from who we are here?"
"Pi," Vivi nodded.
"And there's also a bunch of other people originally from a bunch of different, uh, 'anima', you said?"
"Pi-pi-pi." ("A-ni-me.")
"Right. Anyway, so I know how to build massive robots and have an obsession with 'manliness', Yang's a pervert who revels in the fact that she's a pervert, Cardin's a nice guy who makes everyone plushies, Coco has three split personality, Velvet, instead of being shy, is obsessed with capturing Weiss for her very own-"
"Which is utterly preposterous," Weiss interjected.
"-Roman Torchwick and someone called 'Cinder Fall', along with some of the anime, people are teachers at Beacon."
"Pi."
"And finally, Weiss is a 'tsundere' who gets mad at something called 'fan fiction', and she and Ruby are madly in love with each other. Is that about right?"
Vivi nodded. "Pi pipipi pipi pipipipi pipi pipi pi."
"She says 'There's way more than that, but that's the gist of it'," Weiss translated.
"First of all," Yang said, "Ruby isn't old enough to date anybody!"
"Yang!" Ruby whined, "I'm almost 16!"
The brawler gave Ruby a hearty pat on the back, "And when you're 27, you'll be old enough to date!" She then ruffled Ruby's hair, mussing it up. "But seriously though, I could totally see Weiss being in complete denial about being in love."
"Excuse me, I would never act so irrational!" Weiss protested. "I'll have you know that I always act with grace and elegance, regardless of my emotional state."
"Would you like the list disproving that statement alphabetically or chronologically?" Blake asked dryly.
"And how about all those 'study sessions' with Neptune that totally aren't excuses for making out?" Yang added.
Weiss merely pouted, sitting on her bunk with a haughty "Hmph!".
"I also like the part where Ren and I are the master pranksters of Beacon." Yang swung her arm over the side of the bed, "Surprised that Ren of all people is so mischievous..."
"Pipipipi pipipi pipipi!" Vivi said, hopping up next to Weiss.
After a few seconds of awkward silence, Vivi poked Weiss in the shoulder to get her attention.
"Vivi says 'Ren, Yang, and Cinder are the biggest instigators'."
"Still don't know who that is," Blake said.
"Now that I think about it, why does my other self allow Ruby to eat all those sweets?" Yang wondered, "Isn't that extremely unhealthy?"
"All those cookies...~" Ruby sighed euphorically, her eyes having turned into the object of her desires. ...and also she was drooling a little. "All those chocolate chips...~"
Hopping off her bunk, Yang went over to her cookie obsessed little sister and snapped her fingers in front of Ruby's face, breaking the young leader out of her trance.
"Ah! I'm awake, I'm awake!"
Weiss sighed and shook her head, "You dunce..."
"There's one thing I still don't understand," Blake said to Vivi, rubbing her chin, "how come Weiss is the only one able to understand you? Why not Velvet; she was the one who made you, right?"
"Pipi pipipipipi pipipi pipi pipipi, pipipipipi pipipi pipi pipi."
All eyes looked to Weiss for a translation.
"...She said she has no clue," Weiss paraphrased.
"Maybe it's because you're both Weiss...kinda," Ruby puts forth, "and there's some weird, metaphysical connection between all the Weisses throughout the multiverse."
"That's phenomenal," Weiss said, awestruck.
"Really!? Was my theory that good?"
"No; it's phenomenal you know the word 'metaphysical'. ...and 'multiverse'. ...and 'theory', to be honest."
Ruby slumped to the floor, rivers of exaggerated tears streaming down her face. "Aw...I thought it was good..."
"Not that this isn't interesting and all," Yang said, "but didn't Vivi say she still needed a way back to her home dimension or whatever?"
"Pipi pi pipi pipipi!"
"'I didn't actually say 'dimension', but yes'," Weiss translated.
"Then let's think about this logically," Blake said. "According to Vivi, she found a tiny portal in CFVY's room that brought her here, only it dumped her outside of the room. Since the portal she came from disappeared after she landed, then I think it's safe to assume that if a portal exists in this reality, should be in CFVY's room and will transport her back to her own reality just outside of CFVY's dorm like it did here." When she finished her spiel, she found the rest of her team (plus Vivi) staring at her, their eyes wide, blank, and had a pencil scratch border. "...what?"
"Since when did you get so smart?" Yang asked, somehow the first to regain their composure. This was a side of her battle partner that she'd never shown!
"I do read more than just fiction, you know."
"Pipipi pi pipi...!" Vivi said in an awed "pi".
"She said 'Just like my Blake'," Weiss translated.
"My brain hurts...," Ruby moaned, swaying unsteadily.
"So...," Blake hesitantly continued, "all we need to do now is ask CFVY if we can look around their dorm, and-"
Suddenly, Vivi leaped at the cat Faunus, her arms held in a "X" shape in front of her.
"Pipipipi pipi pipipipi pi pipipi!" she said, landing on Blake's lap.
"She says she doesn't want to go back there," Weiss said, "She and Velvet 'aren't on speaking terms anymore', apparently."
"What happened?" Ruby asked, kneeling by the plushie, her natural caring personality on full display.
At this, Vivi shuffled on her nubby feet, blushing and poking her stubby arms together sheepishly.
"Pi pi...pipipi pi pipipi pipi..."
"She says she let her emotions get the better her, and she said something rather mean to Velvet before she left."
"Then you should probably go apologize, right?" the young reaper suggested, "Our Velvet is really nice; I'm sure whatever it was is all just a big misunderstanding."
"Pipi...," Vivi reluctantly agreed, jumping down and hugging Ruby's knees.
It took all of her willpower not to break out into squeeing.
"*Bark*!" Zwei barked.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Once Vivi steeled her courage, she and Team RWBY made their way to CFVY's room, with Vivi riding on Zwei for the trip. It was strange, she woke up today and team RWBY (who were more that slightly stereotypes) was just an obstacle in the way of Velvet's quest to make Weiss her washboard chested Waifu, and now she was working with them to return home, and they were actually nice people. Well, they were still nice people back home, but she never really got the chance to get to know any of them personally. It was a pleasant experience, one she'd have to attempt again if Velvet ever decided to not be a crazy Yandere stalker.
...or she put Knock-out Dust in Velvet's coffee, whichever came first.
Right now, though, she had to deal with this reality's Velvet.
"Coco? Velvet?" Ruby called as she knocked on the door, "You guys in there?"
Coco answered the door a moment later, looking elated to see the first year Team.
"And what brings you lovely ladies here?" she asked.
"We were actually looking for Velvet," Yang explained, "someone needs to speak with her." The blond bombshell then stepped out of the way, revealing Vivi riding atop Zwei.
"Well, come on in. Velvs is here." The fashionista moved aside, allowing RWBY to see into the room. Inside, Velvet was sitting forlorn on her bed, her rabbit ears drooping downward. "Velvet Honey? You got visitors."
Velvet looked up and saw RWBY, Zwei, and Vivi, immediately getting up and kneeling next to the mounted plushie. "I didn't mean what I said before!" she apologized profusely, "I was trying to say that wouldn't go around creating new life, especially without considering the consequences of doing so, but I didn't take your feelings into account-"
Vivi held up a stubby hand, cutting off Velvet's apology. (For being made of stuff n' fluff, Vivi could be quite forceful when she wanted.)
"'I'm the one who should be apologizing'," Weiss translated, "'I was still confused and I held you to an expectation that you had no way of meeting. What I said to you was unfair, even if you aren't my Velvet. I'm sorry, and I don't want to leave here with you still mad at me' Will you ever forgive me?'"
"Or course I will!" Velvet scooped Vivi up and hugged her tightly, rocking gently as she did. "I forgive you!"
"Pipi pipi!" Vivi reciprocated.
"Yay!" Ruby cheered, "They made up! Now we can find that portal thing!"
"Where did you say you found it, again?" Blake asked the plushie.
"Pi pi pipipi pipi."
"Behind the-" Weiss blanched at what her plushie doppleganger said. "The...shrine her Velvet built to...to me and my flat chest."
Both she and Velvet blushed crimson, with Velvet trying to hide behind her rabbit ears.
"Sh-shut up!" Weiss yelled at no one in particular, "My chest is perfectly adequate!"
Huh, I guess some things transcend boundaries on a quantum level.
Pipi pipipipi pipi.
Vivi thought so too.
"I don't get it," Ruby stated, again with the question marks.
"So where would that be, exactly?" Velvet asked before things got even more awkward.
"Pi!" Vivi said, pointing at the far wall.
Right at Coco's wardrobe.
"We're not gonna have to move that," Ruby wondered, "right?"
At which point everyone (including Zwei) turned to look expectantly at Yang.
"...what?"
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
"Seriously Coco," Yang gasped for air as she set the wardrobe down, "what do you keep in here, rocks? Scratch that, I can lift rocks no problem. Seriously Coco, what the hell do you keep in here?"
"Just clothes," Coco shrugged, "Normal clothes, school clothes, back-up normal clothes, weekend clothes, clothes I wear to go clubbing, clothes I wear to go places other than the club, clothes in case all the others are in the wash..."
"You have more clothes than Weiss...!" Ruby marveled, her mind barely able to process the sheer amount of clothes on display.
"*Bark*!" Zwei barked.
"Pipipi pipi pipipi pipipipi?" Vivi asked.
"She wants to know if there's a portal of any kind back there," Weiss translated.
"There is, actually." It was Velvet who said that, kneeling by the small, swirling whirlpool of dimensional transportation she just pointed out.
"Pi pipi pipipi pipi."
"'Be careful, it might be dangerous.'"
Velvet squeaked and jumped back.
"You know, I think I'm kinda gonna miss her," Yang said, having finally regained her breath. "It was nice having a stuffed toy that we could talk with."
"Even though Weiss was the only one who could understand her," Blake sagely pointed out.
"Oh come on, don't tell me you didn't think she was a total doll!" the brawler protested, cracking up a moment later at her own lame pun.
"We're all going to miss you, Vivi," Ruby said, "it really was cool meeting you, even if we couldn't understand you without Weiss."
"Pipipipi pipipi pi pipipi pipi."
"Yeah, just like that."
"She said 'it was cool meeting you too', you dunce," Weiss sighed.
"Sorry we got off on the wrong foot," Coco said, handing Vivi a small piece of cloth, "I know it's not much, but maybe you can use that as a stylish scarf?"
"Pi pi!" Vivi thanked the fashionista, wrapping the cloth loosely around her neck and striking a pose.
It took all of Coco's willpower not to squee at the sheer, fashionable adorableness on display.
"Good luck on your return trip!" wished Velvet, waving goodbye.
"Pipipipipi!" Vivi told the girls, waving farewell. That done, she turned towards the portal and stepped forward.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Once again Vivi was falling through the kaleidoscopic tunnel of psychedelic trippiness, past the glimpses of different worlds and The Beatles. This time she was prepared, so when the one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater floated past her she didn't even bat an eyelash. (Though truth be told, she did get the shivers when Ultros from the Final Fantasy popped up briefly.)
Soon enough she was deposited a hallway or two down from CFVY's room, only this time she knew what was coming and was able to land without faceplanting.
"Pipipi pipi pipi," She said finally glad to be back in a dimension with Spiral Power, Personas, Yandere/Moe/whatever gods, Mechas, utahraptors (or RWBYsauruses, depending on who you asked), magical girls (allegedly...), and Cardin was a total softy.
You know, things that actually made sense.
As fast as she could, she made her way back to the dorm, thankfully without running into any squealing fangirls this time around. Upon reaching her destination, she unlocked the door with her miniature Scroll, hurrying inside.
What waited for her was the sight of Velvet with her hind quarters sticking in the air, trying to look behind the Weiss shrine for her tiny, stuffing filled companion.
"Pipipipi!" the living plushie called, causing Beacon's resident Bunny Girl/wannabe Yandere to jump in surprise.
This also had the unfortunate side effect of causing her to bash her head on the underside of the shrine's pedestal.
"Ouch!" she cried, rubbing her delicate cranium. "Ow, who said-"
"Pipi!"
"Oh, Vivi! Where'd you go? You just disappeared for about two minutes."
"Pipipi pipi pipi...?" Vivi mused, wondering just how the mechanics of parallel, desynchronized time lines worked.
"Well it was only two minutes for me," Velvet said. "Any chance you found where the scroll ended up?"
"Pi..." Vivi shook her head sorrowfully. "Pipipipipi pipipi pipipipi pi pipipi pipi."
"No fair!" Velvet pouted, "You got to have all the fun..." She looked toward the heavens, "Damn you, Elf-sama! Why do you tease me so?"
I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Scarletina, I'm not this 'Elf-sama' person you speak of.
"Really? Then who are you?"
No one special, just a layman killing some time.
"Well could you maybe throw me a bone here? I've been trying for ages to kidnap my one true love, and I could really use some luck to come my way, you know?"
I'll see what I can do. In the mean time, I think your little helper has something she wants to show you.
"Hmm?" She turned around and saw Vivi holding a rolled up blueprint. Velvet took it and laid it out on the floor (smudging the Dust circle a bit), a manic, Cheshire Cat grin starting to form on her face.
"Pipipi?"
"Of course I like it, this is brilliant; it's even better than the Shark/Water Buffalo powered sorbet machine! ...You came up with this just now?"
"Pi!" Vivi nods.
"...You know what? Screw the Yandere scroll, I wanna try this bad bad out now! And the good news is that I know a guy who sells quality smoke grenades at discount prices!"
"Pipi pi!" Vivi said, following Velvet out the door.
Yes, it was indeed good to be back with her friend, doing the things they loved.
She'd raise the flag of truce with Team RWBY next week.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
And that, as they say, is that. Hope y'all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. (And drop a review!)