The town was dark, silent and deserted. A lonely wind drifted through, whistling though the dry leaves of grass and sending dead leaves spiralling up into the air. After I had dragged myself out of my uneasy sleep, I watched as shadows flitted across the moonlit street, and listened to the disturbingly ominous calls of small insects. I didn't think the lowlifes had returned, but I couldn't be sure, and I didn't know how long I had slept. Last time this... occurred, I had slept for five days straight, narrowly avoiding being buried at a nearby cemetery.
"Hey? Is there anyone here?" I froze, vainly straining my eyes to find the culprit. I couldn't see anyone, but a strong, musky scent washed over me and I could hear soft footsteps approaching slowly. I could feel my heart thudding against my chest, threatening to crack my ribcage.
"Go away... Just leave!" I hissed under my breath.
"I know there's someone here. I can smell you, you know." The unknown voice stated matter-of-factly. It sounded like a young boy, with cheeky, lofty tones. The footsteps edged closer, and I saw scruffy white trainers appear on the brim of my vision. I heard the cracking of joints and imagined that in a few seconds the boy would look down, and see me huddled defencelessly in the rut. I made my decision and tensed my muscles, shifting to my wolf form.
"Stay away!" I growled.
"Aha! I knew my nose was right! What're ya hiding under there for?" The boy paused, probably waiting for an answer. "C'mon! What's the point in hiding if I've already found you?"
"I said, go away!"
"I heard. But that doesn't mean I'm going to leave. I'm curious, what'cha doing in an outlaw's village, cowering under a rock?"
"I'm not cowering!" I protested, bunching my hindquarters further into the crevice. My fur stood on end, brushing the roof of my small sanctuary.
"Sure. Prove it." He jibed, retreating a few paces from the mouth. I shot out from the rut, snapping at his exposed ankles and spinning round on one forepaw so I faced him square-on. Charging forwards with a ferocious growl, I head-butted his knee's so he fell backwards with a thud. I leapt swiftly backwards, out of range from a counterattack. It was only then I realised he was laughing, ruffling his orange hair with an outstretched hand. I was completely baffled.
"What are you doing?" I asked, utterly bemused.
"I didn't think a pup like you would have so much fight in her! You surprised me y'know." He smirked.
"Pup?!"
"I know a wolf when I see one. I should really!" He laughed again, straightening up and regarding me with a cheerful gaze. He had wide brown eyes and curly orange hair, a large yellow hoodie, trailing grey slacks and ragged light greyish trainers that were peeling at the seams. Hanging loosely around his neck there was a dark leather collar, embedded with a shiny silver plate that had a strange mark carved into it. I swiftly changed into my human form, staring at him quizzically with my arms folded.
"How do you know I'm a wolf?"
"You're really asking me that?" He sighed, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Look a little closer."
"Oh." I could see know he was a sturdy, light brown wolf with a slightly darker cloak that curled around his eyes and covered his muzzle like a mask. He had a large, fluffy tail, his neck still adorned with the strange collar.
"See?" He asked, and I nodded slowly; slightly embarrassed at my naïve mistake. He smiled widely, and I wondered if anything seemed to put this wolf in bad spirit. "Let me introduce myself, my names Hige, pleased to meet 'cha!"
"I'm K-" I paused. I didn't want to distrust this friendly wolf, but natural paranoia was warning me to keep my guard up. "I'm Yuki. Nice to meet you too."
"Where're you off to?" Before waiting for an answer he carried on. "I'm looking for the rest of my pack -it's complicated you see- we got separated and we really need to find each other. Have you seen any of them?"
"How could I know if you haven't told me their names?"
"Oh, yeah! Well..." He held up four fingers. "There's Blue, she's beautiful. Then Tsume, he's a pain in the ass. Third, Kiba, he's a decent kind of guy, but not really the talkative type. Lastly there's the runt, okay, well, not really... but he's the smallest, goes by the name Toboe."
"Toboe?!" I exclaimed.
"You know him?"
"Kinda..." I muttered, my stomach twisting with guilt. "I met him a few weeks back, but I left..."
"Left?"
"The place I was staying. I took off without saying anything to my friends and Toboe."
"Why?" Hige inquired curiously. I would've told him to mind his own business but if he knew Toboe, maybe he could find him and tell him I was sorry.
"Because! Because..." I hung my head. "I'm no good at saying goodbyes."
"I see. Where did you last see him?" Hige asked.
"He was living in... Uh... Damn! I can't remember!" I said, annoyed at my terrible memory.
"It's fine, what direction is the city in?"
"It's... northeast to Stonefall."
"Is that where you're heading?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I'd avoid that place for a few months if I were you. A few gangs have banded together and are attacking the richest houses in the city, battling it out with the personal guards. I hear they've taken a few hostages as well, but rumours do tend to... exaggerate."
"Oh. That changes things."
"It does, unless you're reckless enough to travel there... alone." He shrugged. "Then again you could come with me and find Toboe."
"Come with you? But..." I didn't want to meet Toboe and then realise he didn't want to see me. To see anger or disappointment etched on his face, scorn burning in his golden eyes. I didn't want to meet that reality, or even begin to imagine what I'd do if I were put there. I could quite happily imagine Toboe and me were still friends, just... in different places.
"Yeah well, from the way you said it, I don't think you said goodbye properly; I can see you regret it. So why not just come along and say goodbye properly, or not leave at all?"
"I'm not sure..."
"I'll be back here at dawn, come with me if you want. I'm going to find something to eat!" He bounded away, his muzzle brushing the ground in the search for a meal. I stood, stunned, contemplating the jovial wolfs offer. I did want to say sorry, not only to Toboe, but to the twins as well. I had pulled my little vanishing trick on them twice now, and I was sure they were going to be slightly annoyed that I took off again without saying anything. The longer I thought about it, the more it confused me. I hated saying goodbye... but why? A simple goodbye shouldn't be difficult, so why did I struggle so much? Where did it all stem from? Perhaps it was because I never got to say goodbye to my friends, to my family... to my brother. I though back to the last time I saw his face, a proud, gleaming golden eye filled with pain as he raised an unsheathed forepaw and slashed my shoulder. I should have hated him, but I couldn't bring myself to. He was everything I had, the only one I depended on, the only one who cared. The only one I cared for.
"I hope his spirit hunts in Paradise now..." I muttered, praying that he hunted in the tranquillity of heaven, where he'd always wanted to be. I added bitterly: "If only I was there with him."
Toboe slept peacefully on the single bed, his shallow breathing strangely comforting in the otherwise silent night. I sat in the windowsill, one leg dangling of the edge carelessly. I sighed, raising my nose to the sky in a hope to smell the sweet scent of Cheza drifting by on the gentle wind. Of course it was in vain. The only thing I could smell was the pollution hanging grimly in the foul air. I thought about the feisty she-wolf and her more mild-mannered sister. I didn't know what I had done to annoy her so much, but then again...
"Every time we mention our past... so perhaps...?" I mumbled, half to myself. If she was so frustrated about not knowing the whole story, there was nothing I could do. Apart from tell her, obviously. I inhaled deeply, resting my head on one knee. I didn't know whether that was the right thing to do, considering the whole idea might just seem like one big joke to them. Maybe they would even try to discourage us from going, considering how attached Toboe was to them. They treat him like their own litter, and it was clear Toboe looked up to them.
"Kiba...?" My head shot up, scanning wildly for the owner of the voice.
"Who is it?" I said foolishly, feeling vulnerable in the small room. A soft laugh drifted through my ears, calming me and slowing my heartbeat.
"It is this One Kiba." Cheza's melodious tones swirled around me, blocking out the light snoring of Toboe until he was merely a part of the paling background.
I found myself floating a few metres above a blooming field of silver flowers, stretching as far into the horizon as I could see. I descended slowly, looking around in utter awe. Multiple moons shone like giant jewels in the sky, with millions of stars surrounded them like pups coveted their mothers. I realised I was in my wolf form, and I suddenly felt the urge to run, to sprint across these endless fields of Lunar Flowers and howl into the inviting, velvety sky. Movement suddenly caught my attention, and I followed the wavering line of disturbed glowing flowers until I saw a young girl with rose coloured hair smiling softly at me.
"Cheza!" I tumbled forwards, tripping over my own paws in my haste. Regaining my balance, I padded more gracefully to her, gazing into her crimson eyes. Where human eyes had a white edge with and iris and pupil enclosed within, Cheza eyes were completely red with darker maroon pupils.
"Kiba! This One is happy you are okay." She said, extending her arms to me. I practically fell into her embrace, contentedness swelling up inside me and weariness dragging at my limbs. We sat like this for what seemed like hours, but the position of the moons never changed, the stars stuck in a static state.
"Cheza..." I pulled away from her. "Where is this place?"
"Even this One cannot answer your question Kiba."
"You don't know? I have no idea either. It's nice but... it hasn't changed since I got here, did you notice?"
"This One did see that the flowers have not withered and died..."
"Should they have?"
"Without the moon, these flowers cannot shine."
"But there is a mo-" I looked up, and to my surprise I saw the sky was empty. There wasn't even a single star to light it up. When I looked back to Cheza, I saw the background behind her was completely black, but not the soft, velvet of the sky with numerous moons, but the harsh black of polished ivory, uninviting and ominous. When I met Cheza's gaze once again, I saw tears falling delicately from her lashes, staining her cheeks. Before I could say anything, she shook her head and looked away.
"Kiba. This One must leave you now. The end is drawing near, but the pack is not assembled yet. You are running out of time Kiba. But... this time will be different from the last. This time you may be able to open Paradise, if you hurry."
"How can I assemble the pack if I don't know where they are?" I said, helplessness sweeping over me.
"The Howling is found. The Claw is awaiting your arrival at the final battle. Sense is closer than you think. The Seasons need to be convinced. The Shadow haunts your memories."
"Howling...? Toboe? Tsume is the Claw and Sense is Hige. The Seasons though..." I racked my brains for an answer, and then it hit me. "Autumn and Summer?"
"Yes."
"Then who is the Shadow?" As I finished my question, the world began to fade. The Lunar flowers shrivelled, the greyish tinge spreading until it reached Cheza's feet. To my horror I saw it taking over her, until only her sad, depthless eyes and simple smile remained.
"You already know. She does not hate you. You will meet in Paradise."
"Cheza!" But she was gone, and I was left alone in a world of darkness. I sat, shivering, my thoughts racing until my head ached. Suddenly the world began to stretch and distort around me, spinning so fast it made me dizzy to keep my eyes open. I screwed them shut, hoping this insane place would just...
"Go away!"
"What's wrong brother?" I opened my eyes and saw a young wolf staring innocently at me. My sister... I had to look away, shame and grief flooding my heart. "Brother?"
"What? Oh, it's nothing." I mumbled, wildly looking around. This was a memory, it had to be. My wolf pack buzzed around me, young, fluffy pups less than a few moons old stumbling through the thick snow. Their mothers nuzzled affectionately with their mates, watching over their litter with undisguised pride. A few elderly wolves scorning the younger, but a humorous glint twinkled in their tired eyes. Strong male wolves strutted around the dens, trying to impress the young females that ignored them without much thought. It was all... normal. No! My pack is dead! They were murdered by Jagara's troops ten years ago! ... Weren't they?
"Hey Kiba!" I turned, my gaze catching that of a young she-wolf with sparkling blue eyes and a pale silver-grey coat.
"Hey. Aisu, what's up?"
"I was thinking of going hunting, you wanna come? Uta and Yokaze are coming too."
"Uhh... yeah su-"
"Brother!" I glanced down, and saw the young wolf glaring at me with a surprised and hurt gaze.
"What?" I asked, puzzled.
"You promised to teach me to hunt today! I've been waiting since... forever!" I looked back to the pale she-wolf, who shrugged. I could see my sister's outburst had disappointed her, but she brushed it away hurriedly.
"I'm sorry, maybe another time?"
"Yeah. Fine. See you around Kiba." She padded away, chatting to two other adolescent wolves before trotting away, disappearing from my sight. I sighed, turning back to my defiant sister.
"Go and tell the Alpha, then we'll go."
"Right!" She raced off, heading for the Alpha's overhang in the cliff face. I padded towards a gap in the thorn barrier, settling down on my haunches to wait. This all seemed to... real. How could I be reliving a memory, from so many years ago? At least, I thought it was a memory, although I couldn't recollect ever dreaming about it, or even thinking about it when I was awake.
"Where am I?" I muttered, watching the pine branches rustle as a frozen, gelid wind swept through them; ruffling the needles so they rattled like dry bones. I felt tiny vibrations of paw steps on the ground, stealthily approaching. Leaping into the air, I landed behind my attacker; bowling her over with a strong swipe. Fluffy stomach exposed, she was defenceless. She thumped her tail in defeat.
"I give in! You win!" My sister laughed, righting herself and shaking her pelt so the snow sprinkled off in a crystallized shower. "But one day I'll easily sneak up on you!"
"Sure." I replied shortly. I knew it was my chance to once again speak to my sister, as she no longer resided in the world of the living. It was my chance to say sorry, to change the past. To save her? I thought. But if it's a memory, I can't change anything, can I? Then again, I seem to have control of my speech so...
"Let's go!" The year old she-wolf sprinted away, and I hastily scrambled after her. I easily overtook her, my striding gait outpacing her erratic running style. We came to a halt above a small ridge that overlooked a stretched, snow-blanketed field dotted with fallen trees. This should do... I drew a long breath, scenting the scuttling rodents that bustled in their burrows. Shrew, Weasel... Lemming! Perfect.
"What can you smell?" My sibling repeated the action, her eyes clouding with thoughtfulness.
"I think I can smell shrew, but it's deep underground. There's something else, kinda musty... like leaf-mould?"
"That's weasel. Remember that, they can be ferocious." I cautioned, envisioning the long, thin scars that patterned my ears and muzzle. I remember when I was only a pup, wandering out of camp in search of an adventure. Instead, all I found was a violent weasel mother spitting and hissing from a small tunnel under a gnarled pine tree. I didn't leave camp for ages after that.
"Oh. Okay."
"Anything else?" I pressed.
"Oh! Is it... Lemming?" Her eyes shone with laughter, and I'm sure in her human form she would have been grinning like a fool. But I'll never see that... she died before she had a chance to- to blend in, to live. Even living amongst filthy humans is better than not living at all. I had no idea what her human form would look like, and I longed to walk the paths of forests with her by my side, safe and content; not a care in the world.
"Right. Where is it?" She squinted, scanning the snow for any minute trails or traces of the rodent. Suddenly her gaze fixed on a small, moving patch of silver fur, zigzagging its way through the walls of firm set snow. I crouched, padding forwards; keeping to the upturned rocks and sparse patches of gorse. I swung my head round, catching the sincere gaze of my clueless sister.
"Wait here. I'll chase it round to you. Got it?" I focused my gaze back to the oblivious lemming, who was still scuffling through the roots of a fallen tree a dozen tail lengths away. We were downwind, hidden and in the perfect place for an ambush. I wanted to let my anxious sister try her skills, but I was afraid to relive the horror that this memory would surely lead to. I padded away, my back low and tail sweeping along the front encrusted ground. I stalked it until I was close enough to pounce, a few feet between me and my prey. But at the last second something startled it, and it raced away, its lithe body scampering on the surface of the snow with ease. I plundered after it, no wanting to lose it and return to camp empty-handed. I didn't want to disappoint my sister either; and out of the corner of my peripheral vision I saw her awestruck face watching closely, drinking in every move and decision I made. With a new fire burning in my veins I burst after it, racing side by side. I scooped out a forepaw, flipping it into the air and catching it squarely in my jaws. I bit down, crunching its spine in between my teeth. But my new energy was cut short as a gunshot rung through the valley, and I dropped my prey and turned to my sister in a wild frenzy. She was bounding towards me, and I could see she hadn't heard the gunshot, probably too caught up in her own speculations to even notice.
"Run!" I yelled. But to my dismay she ducked and buried her head in the snow. I ploughed through the snow; pushing through which suddenly seemed like I was trying to shift a mountain. As I reached her trembling form, I grabbed her scruff in my jaws and dragged her upright, staring into her fearful, wide rimmed eyes and growled under my breath.
"What-?"
"No time, let's go!" I headed for the dark, greyish forest that loomed silently beyond the innocent white fields. A forbidden forest, but not one I wasn't well accustomed to. I racked my brains, searching for a potential hiding place that would harbour my sister. I knew a few caves, but none would be dense enough to completely shelter her... The abandoned badger set! As we neared the forest, I could feel uneasiness and hesitation seeping from her pelt in waves. She paused at the border, but I rushed past her, calling for her to follow over my shoulder. I raced through the wavering pine trees, frantically looking left to right in search for the small clearing. I tripped on a tree root, tumbling forwards until I skidded to a stop on the dusty, dry earth. When I looked up I finally realised that I was in a small clearing, ringed by curled, shrivelled ferns. I spotted the badger set, but before I could inspect it my sister pushed into the clearing, regarding me with puzzled, wary stare.
"Get in." I ordered, every muscle beneath my pelt squirming with anticipation.
"What?!" She panted breathlessly. Thoughts flitted across her vision, until finally she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "You've been here before, haven't you?"
"Yes." I replied. There was no sense in lying to her now, as she was bound to figure it out and cause further distrust towards me. To my surprise her expression changed to awe.
"But- why? It's forbidden, what in Paradise possessed you to come here?!" She exclaimed. I could see she was having difficulty deciding what emotion she could rely on in such an unorthodox situation.
"I came here because of the flowers." I sighed.
"What flo-" Her question was cut short by a screech close by. I saw fear flash in her eyes, and I tried to steady my heartbeat so I could concentrate on keeping her calm. She looked back to me, searching for reassurance in my steady gaze.
"Look I know you want answers. Right now I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?"
"Of course." She replied instantly, and I couldn't help but smile.
"Good. I'll make it simple. I came here because of the Lunar Flowers, you remember the legend? Anyway, I found a whole field of them, and they bloom every once a full moon. I wanted to protect them, I don't know why, but I heard this voice, telling me to watch over them..." I breathlessly explained.
"I don't-" She was interrupted again by a whistling object that spiralled past my eyes, inches away from my skull. I heard a yowl of pain from my sister and fury flared in my heart. I launched myself into the bushes, tumbling over with a human figure. I closed my teeth around their throat, crushing the windpipe with a single muscle twitch. When I stepped back I saw they were heavily armoured, jagged plates of dull, ivory coloured protection covered every inch of the body. Heavy gloves protected the hands and wrists, whereas clumsy boots reached just below the knee. A helmet with a thin, blacked-out visor covered the whole head, but where the chest plate finished and helmet began there was a gap, with exposed skin peeping through. Agonised whimpers reached my ears, and I remembered with a painful pang that my sister had been shot. But when I reached her I saw, to my horror, the blood was already soaking into a wide expanse circling her shuddering body. As I crouched desperately beside her, crimson clotted my coat and coated my cracked pads, but I didn't even notice.
"Brother..." I couldn't speak. I was watching my sister die, all over again. My heart was tearing itself apart, weeping and gushing, flooding my lungs so I couldn't breathe. I realised I couldn't control my movements anymore, playing out my part in the memory like an obedient puppet. No! Don't do it! Don't you dare! I howled silently, my anguish rattling inside the thorny barriers of my raging mind. Before I unsheathed my claws, I managed to choke out:
"I'm so sorry, please forgive me..." My voice grew stronger as I began to regain control of my body. I can stop myself; I don't have to hurt her! "And when we meet again, be it in Paradise or this cursed earth, I hope you can still call me your brother."
"What? Brother..." With an excruciating howl I raised my claws and slashed her shoulder. Her eyes filled with pain and shock, and then grew dull as the blood gushed from her wound. I stared at her corpse with blank horror, my breathing ceased altogether.
"No...No!" I raised my head and howled to the greying sky, the odious trees looming over me, watching as I sang my sadness and grief to the never-ending sky. How could I? Again? With a heavy heart I lowered my muzzle, staring at my sister for a few seconds before grasping her scruff in my teeth. I dragged her through the forest; avoiding the nettle clumps and thorn fortresses. By the time I made it to the field the moon had risen high in the sky, the Snowy Owls hooting melodiously in the still winter night. I pulled her through the silent silver flowers, nestling her atop the ridge; where the flowers bloomed brightest. A subtle wind ruffling my fur, although warm it made my muscles convulse in a violent shiver.
"I'm so sorry... I hope you can find peace in Paradise." I pressed my forehead against hers, before straightening up and walking away. I glanced over my shoulder, and saw the Lunar flowers glowing more brightly than I had ever seen them. Faint howling blew on the wind, of which had suddenly sprung up and was creating waves of silver in the field. The moon shone from behind the clouds, creating a ghostly mist that hovered like a pearly veil around my sister's body. To my shock and overwhelming happiness, she coughed and struggled to her feet. My sister is alive! I didn't kill her!
"Brother? Where are you?" I tried to answer, but my throat closed and the world began to fade. I looked down and saw my paws were translucent, slowly becoming feebler looking until they disappeared completely. The last thing I saw was my sister howling, distraught, into the broad, charcoal sky.