Hey everyone! I just want to say thanks for the reviews on the first two chapters. It's great to know that people are actually enjoying my little story :) I don't know if I'll post two chapters every time I update, but writing them in pairs seems easier for me, so who knows?
Deb's chapter is sort of filler, but I really enjoyed writing it. I promise that it's leading up to something! ;)
Anyway, I don't want to ramble. I would love to hear your thoughts, theories, wishes, etc!
The genuine smile that I've waited so long for quickly fades from Deb's face when I tell her the news. We both knew that this time would come, but neither of us expected it so soon. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours, but here we are, forced to deal with the fallout of last night's fateful decision.
"Don't worry," I say, gently squeezing Deb's hand. "I'll be back soon. Everything is going to be okay. The faster I get down there, the faster this will be over."
"It'll never be over." She replies, turning away from me.
An eerie silence hangs over the shipping yard when I arrive thirty minutes later. Most of my colleagues appear to be hung over from last night's festivities, and there is an added sadness in their eyes because of the loss of their captain. Even Masuka looks disturbed, much to my surprise. I put on my best anguished expression and wander over to the crime scene. Putting on the mask isn't hard for me. After all, I've been forced to do it many times before.
Angel slowly sulks over to me. His eyes are bloodshot from crying, and he doesn't quite look like himself. He isn't wearing his signature fedora or Hawaiian shirt, and he looks…defeated.
"Hey Dex," he begins, lightly placing his hand on my shoulder. "Please, help me make sense of this. I just…give me moment."
Angel looks like he's about to be sick, and I can understand why. He and Maria have been divorced for a few years now, but it's obvious that he still cares deeply for her. That type of unconditional love fascinates me. Most days I doubt that I'm ever capable of feeling it. I thought I came close to it when I was with Hannah, but when forced to choose between her and Deb, there was only one possible outcome. Truthfully, Deb is the only person that I could see myself really loving the way that Angel continues to love Maria.
Angel sharply walks away from me and I take the opportunity to check out the crime scene. Everything is exactly how I'd arranged it last night, except for the numbered markers that now litter the floor of the shipping container.
"It's crazy, huh?" Masuka asks. There's a level of seriousness in his voice that I've never heard before, a sad look in his eyes that I don't think I've ever seen. "A homeless guy came to the station early this morning, said he usually comes here to sleep. He told us that there were two bodies, one male and one female. He even said that it looked like they offed each other. Everyone at the station thought I was just some weird story. No one expected…this."
"Yeah," I reply. "Maria deserved better. She was a good woman."
I make quick work of my assessment of the crime scene and Masuka cosigns when I break down my version of events for Angel. He looks hurt, but seems to accept my story. That was almost too easy.
"Well, if we have all that we need here then I think I'm going to head home." I say, hoping that no one will find it odd that I don't want to stay and mourn with everyone else.
"I'm just going to bag up a few more pieces of evidence and take them back to the lab, but we're all done with the spatter for now. Hot date tonight, huh Dexmeister?" Masuka asks, winking at me. He follows it with his trademark laugh, but it sounds alien today.
"Uh, no. Deb is sick, I was planning on checking in on her." I retort.
"Ah, I was wondering why she wasn't here. Sick? Isn't that just the code word for hung over?" Masuka questions.
Angel shoots Masuka an annoyed expression before addressing me.
"Of course you can, Dex. Give Deb my best, and tell her to give me a call when she gets a chance. Also, you should probably tell her about this. It'll be hard for her to handle but I'd feel better if she heard it from you and not the twelve o'clock news." Angel says as he tries to force a smile.
I flash Angel my most sympathetic grin and head back to my car. I decide to sit there for a while, not quite ready to go back to the hospital. Seeing Deb earlier really affected me and I'm not so sure that me being around her is good for either of us right now.
My mind goes back to the hospital visit. As I watched Deb sleep, she looked almost peaceful. She resembled the sweet, innocent Deb of a few years ago; the moralistic cop from before my dark passenger was exposed to her. Before she made the worst mistake of her life - protecting me even if it meant losing herself in the process.
Suddenly, the peacefulness had stopped. I couldn't tell for sure, but it seemed like she was having a nightmare. In the midst of tossing and turning, she called out my name. I almost answered her, until she moaned.
Initially, I thought the moan was one of pain. I figured that I was hurting her in this dream, and I had half a mind to wake her up and let her know that I was here and that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. However, it turned out that I wasn't hurting her in this dream. I was doing the exact opposite, actually.
"Mmmm yes Dex. Faster." She muttered.
I started to squirm in my chair. I couldn't believe that she was still thinking about me in that way, especially after what she did last night because of me.
She turned her head towards me, eyes still closed. I watched as her lips puckered slowly, admiring the curvature of them. I silently wondered if they felt as soft as they looked.
"Dexter, what are you doing?"
Harry.
"Nothing, Harry. Now's not exactly a good time." I replied.
"I don't like the way you've been looking at Debra, son. Haven't you done enough damage?"
Harry stood firmly in front of me, restricting my view of Deb. His arms were crossed over his chest, and a disapproving scowl rested across his face.
"What are you insinuating? She's my…" For some reason, I hesitated.
"Sister. She's your sister, and I don't want to see you looking at her in that way again. All I want is to protect her, and you should want the same." Harry stated.
"All I want to do is protect her. Maybe if you'd been there for her the situation would be different, but it's too late now, isn't it? I'm all she has left." I hissed back at him.
My words had clearly upset Harry, and fortunately, he left. I turned my attention back to Deb. Thankfully, she was still asleep. Her lips were pressed together, and they formed a slight smirk. I smirked back, even though I knew she wouldn't see.
It was nice, knowing that I had made her happy for once.
After that moment of reflection, I start my car and back out of the parking lot. I'm still not sure if I want to see my sister yet. Her dream from earlier today, no, my reaction to it, made me uncomfortable to say the least.
Deb is a beautiful woman. She always has been, and I've always noticed; but we were raised together. Her feelings for me are wrong. The way I looked at her today was wrong…right? Then again, I'm not exactly the go-to person for a lesson on morals.
Throughout my life, Deb has always been there for me. Even more so since she found out about the real me, but nothing good could ever come from us being together in that way. So why had I even thought about it?
I slam my fist on the steering wheel, earning a few judgmental glances from the other drivers yielding beside me at the red light.
I take a few deep breaths; in, out, in, out, hoping to calm myself down. I don't function well when I'm stressed. How can the mere thought of Deb have such an effect on me? As I wait for the red light to change to green, I ponder whether I should make a left or right turn.
A left turn will take me home, to my son. The son I've dedicated my life to protecting. The son I haven't been spending nearly enough time with lately. The son I love more than I ever thought was possible for someone like me.
A right turn will take me to the hospital, to my sister. The sister who has loved me unconditionally for our entire lives. The sister that I am constantly hurting. The sister that would be better off without me.
The light turns green and I hit my turn signal, content with my decision. I know Deb will understand. Maybe she'll even thank me later.