A week passed and the thirst was still unbearable. We were back in Forks now though it had been difficult to get me back due to my temptation to feed upon humans. Several times, I had been held down in the car ride back by Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle while Jasper tried to calm me down. I was a lot closer to Jasper because he understood what i was going through. It made it a lot easier. Of course they all understood but it was still relatively fresh for Jasper.
I definitely liked how I now looked. I was beautiful like the Cullens. My hair was shiny and gorgeous. It didn't knot anymore! My eyes though... Those I didnt like. They were a bright red. I knew it would take some time for them to change. I hated them. When I saw my eyes I felt like a monster! I used to love animals... Now I killed them. I drained them of their blood. Oh but the blood is so good and it feels so pleasant when it slides down my aching throat! But aside from my eyes, I really loved my new appearance. I wasn't so dull anymore. My ivory skin was perfect and had a certain glow to it. Now I looked like I actually deserved to be with such a beautiful man like Edward.
I understood Edward so much better now. And I felt like I could love him even more now. I felt like I was capable of more emotion, of more passion. And it was all for him.
We haven't figured out what to tell Charlie yet. I can't go near him for obvious reasons. Yet, at the same time, I don't feel right just leaving him behind. Charlie doesn't know how to take care of himself properly! He cant cook! Before I moved to Forks, he ate at the diner every night. I cant let him return to that. I have to take care of him, but the problem is that I just don't know how to. If I go near him I would probably hurt him and I really cannot risk that.
I didn't know what to do.