"I don't know why everyone loves this bloody book so fuckin' much!" Rae exclaimed as she threw A Tale of Two Cities down on the table, causing a few people at nearby tables to look at her. "The first sentence is a paragraph long, Finn. A whole fuckin' paragraph."

Finn picked up the book, flipped to the first page and started to read aloud, faking an aristocratic accent for emphasis: "'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the-,' yeah, I'm bored already. Victorian Lit?" He asked, putting the book down.

"Course. The whole next month is dedicated to Dickens. I'm mean, I'm not complainin', Dickens is brilliant, it's just, ugh, this one is so borin'! I'd rather shag a porcupine."

Finn had just taken a sip of his water and had to clamp his hand over his mouth so he didn't shower Rae with it.

"Jesus," he said as he painfully forced himself to swallow the water, shaking his head in mirth.

Rae loved making him laugh. Listening to the melodious sound of his laughter after something she's said was the best part of her day. It was their one week anniversary of lunch dates and it still amazed Rae that he waved her over to him every time she walked into the union.

"So you're comin' to the pub tonight, yeah?" Finn asked, pulling Rae away from her vision of telling their wedding guests that their courtship all started when Rae compared Finn's hotness to that of a Ninja Turtle.

"That's the plan, yeah."

"Is, uh, is Chanel goin'?"

Rae's heart fell into the pit of her stomach.

"I don't know… Why?" Rae asked forcing her voice to remain level.

"Oh, no reason, was just wonderin'." Finn didn't meet her eyes. Instead, he was looking down at his lap, picking a piece of lint off his pants.

"Do you, ahem," Rae cleared the very unwelcome frog in her throat. "Do you like her?"

Finn's eyes shot up so fast Rae was surprised they were still attached to his head.

"No!" He said a lot faster and louder than he intended. "No. It's just that, uh, I know she likes me and I get, I don't know, uncomfortable around girls when I know they like me, I guess."

Huh? Like… Just… HUH?

"What do you mean?"

Finn was quiet for a few seconds, really thinking about what he was trying to say.

"I feel like I can really trust ya, Rae. And I feel like I can really talk to ya about things… And it's just that I'm really insecure about a lot of things, ya know? If I'm funny enough or if I'm smart enough or if I'm good lookin' enough to deserve those feelin's from a girl. So then I start second guessin' everythin' I do and I just become on edge about everythin' and I hate it. And there's nothin' wrong with the girl, it's not like she's doin' anythin' to make feel that way. It's just all in my head."

I, I just, how do I process this? The beautiful man sitting in front of me, this altogether gorgeous human being doesn't believe he's worthy enough for the affections of a woman.

"Trust me, Finn. I know what it's like to feel like you're not worth anyone's time but I promise you, you are. Any girl would be lucky to have a bloke like you." Like. Me. Pick me! Pick me! "You are funny enough and you are smart enough, you just have to start believin' you are."

Finn was looking at the table when she finished speaking, a modest smile on his face. "Thanks, Doctor Rae."

"Any time, mate."

It killed her to call him mate when she wanted to be so much more than that but it was obvious that's all Finn saw her as, though, if he felt so comfortable around her.

"Ugh, it's that time, again." Finn looked at his watch with a frown. "Can we just ditch today? It's Friday, let's blow it off and go bowlin'!"

"You know I'd love to but I don't think that's such a good idea… For you."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty epically awesome at bowlin'."

"Oh, there's that cockiness I've come to love." His grin spread across his face and up to his deep, coffee colored eyes.

Ugh. Don't say it if you don't mean it, Finn.

Rae could barely keep focus during her lecture. And what little of the tedious, pretentious A Tale of Two Cities lecture she did manage to concentrate on left her brain feeling like Victorian mush.

"Well I think Charles meant this –"

"You could not be more wrong, Charles totally meant this-"

You didn't bloody know him! And stop fuckin' callin' him Charles, you egotistical asshats.

Rae's mind was so all over the place that she didn't even realize she was back at her suite until she was turning her key in the locked door. When the door swung open, she was greeted by a departing Chloe and Izzy.

"Hiya!" Izzy beamed. "We're just headed to the market. Wanna come?"

"No, thanks," Rae answered. "I'm gunna ring home, haven't talked to my mum all week."

"Want us to grab anythin' for ya, sweets?" Chloe asked.

"Uh," Rae thought about the groceries she might need. "Nah, I think I'm good, thanks."

"Okay. Laters!" And they were off.

Rae dropped her book bag on the floor, picked up the cordless phone that came as part of their suite and rang home.

"Hello?" Karim's deep voice boomed through the receiver after three rings.

"Hi, Karim!"

"My Rae!" Rae could hear his smile through the phone. "How are you? Classes is good?"

"Yeah, they're great. I'm really enjoyin' 'em." Well, not all of them.

"Good, good. You come home soon?"

"Probably not until Christmas, I'm afraid. None of my friends live near Stamford."

"We come to you?"

"Oh, yes! I'd love that! Could you do that?" Rae practically squealed through the phone with her excitement.

"Your mum, I have to ask."

"Right, of course. Is she there?"

"Yes, I go get her."

"Bye, Karim!"

"Goodbye, my Rae."

Rae loved that he called her "My Rae." He started her calling that after Jazz was born. He wanted Rae to know that he loved her just as much as he loved Jazz, which she already knew. Over the past two and half years, Karim became the kind of dad Rae wished for her entire life. On the day her mom and Karim got married, her mom said to her, "I know he'll never be your proper dad," but that's exactly what he was. He was the kind of dad that was protective of her when it came to boys (let the record show that Karim detested every fiber of Liam's being). The kind of dad that taught her about football, so she could understand what the boys at college were always banging on about. The kind of dad that would wrap his strong arms around her when she was having a particularly terrible day so she could be safe in his warm embrace. The kind of dad she wanted her future children to have. Because if Rae learned anything from Karim being in her life, it's that any man can be father; it takes someone really special to be a dad.

"Hewwo?" The tiniest, sweetest voice Rae had ever heard came over the phone.

"Jazzy?"

"Wae-Wae!" Rae could hear two small feet jumping up and down on the linoleum floor of their kitchen. "Wae-Wae, I got a booboo."

"Oh, no! What happened?"

"I fell."

"You fell? Does it hurt?"

"No. It okay. Mummy! It's Wae! It's Wae!" Rae could hear her mother's voice in the background, asking Jazz if she could speak to her.

"Bye, Wae-Wae!"

"Bye, Jazzy!"

"Hello, my duck."

"Hey, mum."

"How is everything? Do you need us to send you more money, or are you okay?"

"I'm okay, thanks. That's not why I called."

"I know. But a mother just has to make sure."

Rae was silent for a few beats before her mother spoke again.

"Is everything okay, Rae?"

"Oh, yeah. It's nothin'. It's stupid."

"Nothing is ever stupid, Rae. Out with it."

"It's just… Ugh… I really fancy this boy and we've become really close but I know that he just sees me as his mate, and that's fine, it's just, I don't know what to do."

"Well how do you know he just sees you as a mate?"

"He just really opened up to me and told me he can't talk to girls that fancy him. Meanin', he only sees me as a mate because he can talk to me about stuff."

"Did you ever think that he feels like he can talk to you because he thinks you only see him as a mate?"

"I guess I never thought of it like that–"

"Jasmine Bouchtat! Do not touch that! Sorry, love. What were you saying?"

"What do you think I should do?"

"Talk to him. He clearly trusts you enough to open up to, so be honest with him. That's all you can do."

CRASH. BANG. BOOM. CRIES.

"Jasmine! I told you not to touch that! I'm so sorry, Rae. I have to go. I love you, chuck!"

"Love you, too!"

Click.

Rae fell back on her single bed and thought about what her mom said.

Mum's right. Lying never got you anywhere in the past except into a giant, gaping hole of shit. What if you do tell him and he starts acting all insecure around you and you lose this amazing friendship you're starting to build? Is it really worth it? You're not necessarily lying to Finn, you're just not telling him the whole truth. There's a difference. But what if –

Knock. Knock.

Rae clambers off her bed to see who's at the door.

"Hey, Chanel."

"Hiya, Rae! Is Chloe here? She was gunna let me borrow a shirt for tonight."

"What's tonight?" Please don't say the pub. Please don't say the pub.

"Aren't we all goin' to the pub?" She said with a tone of worry that she got the information wrong.

Dammit.

"Oh, right," Rae pretended to smack her forehead. "Sorry, my last lecture was a bit rough. Brain's a little screwy. Sorry though, love. Chloe and Izzy ran to the market about thirty minutes ago. They should be back soon."

"I'll come back later, then. Thanks, Rae!"

"Yep, bye."

Rae decided it was time for a long, hot shower to wash away all these feelings that were infecting her brain.

What is wrong with you today? Chanel has done nothing to deserve these downright mean feelings you've been having towards her lately. I thought you learned your lesson at the zoo? So she likes the same boy as you! Big deal, Rae! You're the one he's actually comfortable talking to you. He enjoys spending time with you. You make him laugh. Chanel is just trying to figure out where she fits in with him. What if the roles were reversed? How would you feel if Chanel knew you liked Finn and she thought negatively of you for it? Huh? You'd hate it and you know it. Not to bloody mention, you KNOW Finn doesn't fancy her. He told you. To. Your. Face. So you better knock this off before you start destroying friendships. It's. Not. Worth. It.

It's about a quarter to 10 when the girls finally make it to Lynch's Pub. As soon as the pub doors open, a thick blanket of humid cigarette smoke, sweat, and booze smacks them in the face. The music coming from the juke box is decent (Gin Blossoms) and there's a mob of bodies swaying to it in a rhythmic drunkenness that makes Rae feel high herself. It reminded of her of the very first time she was in a pub the days she came home from the hospital.

They made their way through the crowd and the smoke to their friends at the back of the bar. Finn stood up as soon as they made it the large, circular table they were sitting at.

"Right, it's my round. Rae-Rae," Rae-Rae? "Come give me a hand?"

Everyone started shouting their orders at Finn but Rae couldn't hear any of it.

Rae-Rae?!

"Rae!" Finn was waving his hand in her face to her attention.

"Oh, sorry. Yeah. Helpin'."

They got up to the bar and Finn started listing off the orders.

"What did Chop say he wanted?"

"Uhhhh…"

"Foster's. Right. A Foster's please, mate. And what about you, Rae?"

"Snakebite. No, just a Bulmers. No, a snakebite."

"You sure?" The bartender looked like he was ready to have a snake actually bite her.

"Yes, a snakebite, please."

"Alright, I'll be back in a few minutes." He said as he started pouring drinks.

"Thank god you're here, Rae. Chanel is killin' me."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin'! She hasn't really spoken to me all night but she's wearin' this low cut shirt and keeps leanin' on the table which kind of puts them in my face." Why is he telling me all this? I don't want to hear it, Finn! "And, I, uh, I'm a boob guy so it's hard, ya know, not to look." He added, unconsciously glancing down at her own. Did he just inadvertently tell me he liked my boobs? I mean, I've caught him looking before, but this kind of proves it, yeah?

Rae was glad she chose to wear the shirt she did. It's her favorite light denim button down that's just a bit too tight at the chest and it makes her boobs look extra good. And although Rae was glad Finn trusted her enough to be able to talk to her about anything, she wasn't sure she was ready to listen to him going on about how turned on he was by other girls. It was bittersweet really. It made her heart melt and turn to ice all in the same instance.

The bartender was back with their drinks and two trays for them to carry them on. Rae went to pick up one of the trays and head back to the table but Finn caught her shoulder with his hand and that bolt of electricity shot up her spine again. Rae swears he felt it too, because he pulled his hand away as if he touched a hot stove.

"I, ahem, what do you think I should?" He asked.

Well maybe not stare at her tits for starters.

"I don't know, Finn. You know she likes you and you don't like her, so maybe talk to her? Let her know you're not really interested?"

"I dunno if I can do that, though."

"Well you asked for my advice and that's it." Rae said with a bit more malice than she really meant but she was not in the mood for this conversation.

"Rae is everything – Rae?" But it was too late. Rae had grabbed the tray and headed back to the table.

Rae sat the tray down on the table forcefully and some of the beer sloshed over the sides of their glasses. "Oh, sorry, guys. Slipped."

"No worries," Veronica slurred out. Jesus, how long have they been here? "We were just about to start 'Never Have I Ever'."

"What's that?" Izzy asked, taking her drink from the tray Finn brought over as he sat in the only empty spot next to Rae.

He was just about to lean in to talk to her but she started speaking to the gang instead. "Yeah, what is that?"

"Well," Peter chimed in. "It's a rather crude, for lack of a better word, game where we say things we've never done and if someone has done it, they have to drink."

These people have some weird ass games.

"I'll start!" Chop announced. "Never have I ever gone through the 'back door,' so to speak."

Peter, Archie, and Barney all drank to which everyone laughed.

"That was cheeky, Chop." Barney said as he dribbled some beer on his chin.

"Sorry, mate."

It was Chloe's turn next. "Never have I ever… Had a sexual fantasy about someone at this table."

Shit. Should I drink? Should I not drink? Well, no surprise Channel is drinking. Or anyone else for that matter because of course they've all had sexual fantasies about someone at this table. THEY'RE ALL IN A RELATIONSHIP. Wait… Did Finn just look over at me? Oh my god. He's DRINKING? Well, Chanel's boobs are on the table, but he looked at me. Not her. Do I drink? Do I drink?

She drank.

"Oooh, cheeky!" Peter shrieked.

What, no one knows it's Finn. It could be about Peter for all they knew.

Suddenly Rae felt hot air at the base of her ear.

"Are you mad at me?" Finn's sultry voice swept over her body like a warm blanket on a cold winter's night, causing her to involuntarily shiver despite the heat of the pub.

When she turned to look at him, Finn's liquid chocolate eyes cut through hers, into her soul and rooted her to the spot where she sat. It took all she had not to kiss him right then and there, to just get it all over with, and to see where she truly sat within his heart.

"Of course not. I just – I just want you to be honest with her. It's not fair to her."

Or me.

"You're right. I'll talk to her."

"Good." And they shared a smile.

After about another hour of playing, and everyone getting rip-roaring drunk, Peter suggests they go back to their house to finish the night. Chloe and Chanel opt out, claiming exhaustion, so it's just the couples and Rae and Finn heading back to the house on Merle Hill.

When they get back to the house, Peter and Veronica head straight up stairs to his bedroom and are not seen for the rest of the night. Rae and Izzy are nursing ciders on the couch, watching the boys play a hilarious game of beer pong. It's Finn and Chop versus Archie and Barney and the latter are killing the former.

"Jesus, you're awful at this game, Finn!" Chop shouted at him.

"That's what I've been tellin' him for years," Archie beamed at his best mate.

"Oi! You know what? I don't wanna play anymore." Finn crossed his arms across his body like a five-year-old whose mother just took his favorite toy away.

"Fine, Iz, come be my partner." Chop shouts across the room to Izzy.

Izzy laughs as she gets up off the couch, hands Finn her cider, and goes to stand next to Chop. Finn plops himself down in the spot that Izzy just vacated and puts his head in Rae's lap.

Mr. Nelson, you are dangerously close to my lady garden… And what do I do with my hands now?!

Finn started tracing shapes on Rae's leg. His touch felt hot on her skin. She'd had sex with Liam plenty, but nothing with him ever felt this intimate.

Whaaaat are you doing down there?

Rae decided to be brave and started running her hand up and down his back.

God, he has such nice muscles.

Finn started giggling.

Is he ticklish?

"Rae, guess what I'm spellin' out."

Nope, just a child. An adorably wonderful man-child.

Rae felt Finn's finger through her leggings again and tried to pay attention to the letters he was forming.

R-A-E.

"Rae."

"Ding! Ding! Ding!"

His fingers were moving again.

F-I-N-N.

"Finn."

"You rang?"

"You cheeky –"

"I'm not done yet!"

"Oi…"

They were shapes now.

"A square… A star… A circle… A triangle… A –"

Heart.

It was the last shape Finn drew before he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.