I'm trying to write up chapter's a bit quicker now. :{D
Woo!

Selling cakes and brownies that orphans make didn't make much money, yet seeing a husband and wife fight it out with food as they mashed food down each others clothes and into faces earned quite the audience to the point where people began paying to give the furious duo more ammo. Of course, Father Leo wasn't going to deny the orphanage any potential fundraising money so he pleasantly smiled while accepting the money and handing it out. Why, the money was for children in need after all so it wasn't technically against his moral standards as long as it was just food getting swung around. At the end of nearly an hour, there were no more food and the priest had quite the sum in his hand while the pair huffed at each other. Inches of baked goods caked them from head to toe, each clearly worn out by the battle but too stubborn to give in.

"Dis 's ridiculous." Anders huffed as he tried to pry his glasses from his face without breaking them. "'ook whot ya did ya blasted wooman."

"Me? You started it! You were laughing at me!" Seras snapped defensivally as she pulled a cupcake from between her breasts. "Look at the mess!"

"Oh it's quite alright." Leo pipped up with a pleasant smile. "We don't have anything left to sell yet we've made more money then if we'd sold it for food. Apparently the two of you outta make your own comedy show! And... Mrs... Actually I never caught your name."

"Seras Vic-...Anderson. Seras Anderson." It sounded foreign on her tongue, odd. She didn't like it. She turned a little red as she smile sheepishly at the rather amused looking priest. "I'm sorry about the mess... Wait, you sold them? How? We threw them at each other!"

"Exactly!" Leo beamed as he gently plucked a chunk of cake from her hair. "They paid for your... ammunition and well, that's a good a cause as any. Thank you for attracting such customers you two, you've done quite the service for such poor unfortunate orphans."

"...Dat ain't right." Alex said flatly.

"How so? Money for orphans by food, and neither of you hit each other with fists so I see nothing wrong with it. Just an overally emotional stimulated food fight really." He answered cheerily. "No harm to my priestly views, nor do I see any issues with you two. In fact, if anything it relieved some tension between the two of you. A simply win-win-win situation!"

"...Dat's dodgin' da bullet by a' 'air."

"I do my best. Now, why don't you two go hose off? I'm sure there's a hose a couple tents down by the 'Pick-a-duckie' game. They're most likely going to help if anybody." With that the suddenly suspiciously counting off money Father Leo wandered away with a pleasant whistle leaving Seras and Anders standing stunned. Hesitantly they glanced at each other and grimaced before Alex let out a low sigh of irritation.

"Dis wa'." He grunted taking the lead, Seras followed mere steps behind. OF course, the giggles that escaped her caused him to turn and glare but she couldn't stop them. Instead she reached up and bit her lip, trying to stop the snickers as she pulled something out of his hair and showed it to him. On her finger oozed neon pink icing. He glared. "Dun say a word, ya damned vampire."

"I haven't said one thing about it, nor about the baby blue you seem to have mingled with it." Seras stated trying to halt her giggles though it was a failed effort. "I have to say, it matches your eyes."

"Bloody wench." Anders growled bristling as he gave her a dark glare. Immediately her laughter halted as she suddenly remember exactly who stood before her. She winced and ducked her eyes down a little, staring intently at the cross around his neck in an attempt to avoid his eyes. Alex sneered in response. "Ya got quite da mouth fer a lass 'n a 'ostile place."

"...I suppose I do, don't I?" Seras felt her lip twitch a little as she glanced around her with a wistful sigh. "I guess I just forgot it wasn't my home. See, we used to go to fairs just like this when I was a little girl. Daddy and Mum would buy some sweets and we'd go on rides until Daddy got too dizzy. We'd usually head to the little stands after that and try win a game."

"...did ya ever win?"

"No. They bloody well cheated every time." Seras huffed puffing out her cheeks. "I almost got that monkey too if he hadn't of cheated!"

"Mookey?"

"Then the hippo too! I swear, they'd cheat a child outta their last copper if they could!"

"...A 'ippo?"

"Mhm. It was one of those cheap carnival toys. Still wanted it though." She snorted a little before glancing up at him. "What? Didn't think somebody like me could enjoy cute stuffed animals?"

"Not da fact dat dere animals, boot yer choice o' em. 'ho wont's a mookey 'n a 'ippo fer a toy? Dere oogly." Alex stated frowning down at her before continued to walk. "I'dda taught ya'd go fer da dogs 'r cats. Dey usually 'o well wit da children."

"They weren't my kind of thing. Besides that, the hippo had makeup." Seras hummed trotting to his side. "I think it was suppose to be some sort of princess Hippo come to think of it."

"...I tink dere makin' fat jokes at yer princess."

"I didn't hear that." Seras said puckering her lips. "After all, seeing how I'm clearly a lady I wouldn't have made the same assumption against the beautiful princess."

"Yer a liar, no' a lady." Anderson grunted before turning abruptly towards a bright yellow tent. She glared at his cake covered back and followed him in, only to get greeted by the hearty laughing of the game runners. Apparently they'd helped 'fund' their amusing appearance and when asked to hose the two of them down burst into another fit of giggles despite agreeing to help the caked two. So, with no shortage of laughs from passing people and perverted males, the two were hosed down like a wet T-shirt contest, cold water be damned.

" 'et 'em more food!"

"Another round!"

"I can almost see down her top!"

Seras shrieked at that remark and promptly slapped her arms across her chest, glaring at all of them despite the boos that echoed from the crowd. Shaking the water from his hair, Alex blinked at her scarlet face before glancing over at the still booing crowd. He snorted before shrugging off his over coat, wringed it out the best he could and flopped it over her shoulders with a snort.

"I guess dat tells ya not ta wear spaghetti tops ta da fair, aye?"

"Well in Britian, at least our men still act like gentlemen!" she fumed, tucking the coat around her glaring at the now pouting and booing viewers. "Such perverts!"

"Wur males. Yer breasts attract attention." Alex stated with a shrug. "If ya don' like the gawkin', dun show 'em off like dis years firs' prize 'og."

"Did you just compare me to a pig?"

" 'r ya surprised?" Anders responded without a hint of denial. "T'ain't 'idden dat I dun like ya. Comparin' ya to a sow isn't da worst I c'n do."

"I suppose you're right..." Seras sighed before walking to his side, shuffling awkwardly under the too-large coat. "Guess you could try spearing me to a wall like you did to master."

"Mmmm. Speakin' o' da 'eathen, wurred 'e go? I 'aven't seen dat English 'hore wavin' 'im round of late." he said with a frown as he started to walk back towards the exit. It was getting later now and with wet clothes, he doubted either of them wanted to stay much longer. "Some sod di'n kill 'im did dey?"

"No they didn't and Sir. Integra is not a whore!" Seras fumed as she jabbed him sharply with her elbow. He grunted in pain as he staggered a bit under the blow, glaring at her as he held his wounded side. To others, it looked like the large priest feigned pain from the tiny big breasted woman but little did they know the truth behind this odd pair.

"Dat 'urt ya bloody wretch." He fumed as they stood off with scowls that matched a cowboy's.

"Then don't insult sir Integra!"

"Yer not 'er lapdog anymore. I c'n do as a' please."

"..." Seras puffed out, her fists clenching as she got ready to shout. That is, until the horn went off and a loud stangled voice laughed forcibly near her ear. Turning she came eye to eye with a blue haired clown now, his hand clenching balloons. He pouted at them as he sniffled loudly, the makeup tear on his cheek accenting his apparent 'saddness.'

"Hey, don't fight! It isn't nice!" the clown moaned sadly. "Be friends!"

Seras didn't scream. In fact, she just turned forward and charged, slamming Alex into a tackle that nearly drove him to the ground. Thin arms wound around him middle, crushing the ribs nearly as her head dug deep into his chest. Staggering a step he was about to yell at her, to fume at the pain in his ribs when his brain finally caught up with what happened. She...hugged him? To get away from the clown she ran for the killer priest. He frowned.

"Friends!" The clown cheered as it opened its arms and moved to hug them as well but Alex shook his head and smiled at the clown.

"I w'n do dat. Da Lassie 'as a fear fer da funna people." Alex explained while trying to subtly pull his arms free from their trap.

"Clowns aren't funny, their scary." Seras huffed as she blushed a heavy red in his shirt.

"Oh. Okay." The clown waved at them again before bounding off to wherever it'd come. Alex sighed before glancing down at the still clinging vampire, his eyes narrowing as the light hit his glasses. He huffed at her, waiting for her to release him while trying to to think of the gawking people and giggles of nearby women. He sighed finally, deciding to at least pretend to be kind and wrapped his arms firmly behind her back and waited.

Why couldn't things ever be easy with him?

Next chap done! Woo!

Thanks for reading this, sorry it's not as fast as the last one but I'd posted chap for other story yesterday and got worn out :p

Keep reading, reviews help me move faster and for pete sake if I see any more of you sharpening those pitchforks, I'll run and hide somewhere you'll never find me! In my closet! So HA!

Always on the run

Doggy D. Cookiethief

TO NARNIA!