"Catch me Alex!" Seras shouted as she skipped high over sunflowers and sweet grass. The sun caught her golden locks, flashing them gleefully like the smile spread across her face. Behind her, Alex looked up from the picnic he'd packed for their little runaway. He watched her dance among the flowers with a soft expression as he smiled contently in the warmth of the sun. "Come on, get up!"

" Aw r't." Alex chuckled as he slowly climbed to his feet and grinned mischievously. "Ge' rea'y love, I'll 'atch ya wit ease!"

"In your dreams!" Seras laughed as she stuck out her tongue. He barked a laugh before charging towards her. She squealed in response as she skipped merrily away. The closer he got, the faster she ran until he let out a huff of complaint. Hearing it she laughed but slowed her pace and allowed him to catch her with a scolding giggle. "You're getting old!"

"Shuudit Draculina." Alex said without bite, his lips curling up as he wrapped his arms around her in an affectionate embrace. "Dun make me put ya d'wn."

"As if you could." Seras sniffed but snuggled back into his chest. She sighed as she breathed in his scent. "To think, they actually knew what they were doing."

"Mm?"

"The Queen and your pope."

"...Aye. I s'pose so." Alex frowned as he rested his chin gently on her golden hair. "Ta tink weh doubted 'em."

"Mmmm." Seras sighed as she relaxed into him, their bodies molded together perfectly as they held each other close. She looked up at him, their lips near inches from each other as their eyes. Lightning passed between the two and almost without thought did they inch closer together, him hunching and her on tip toes. "Alex?"

"hmm?"

"Make love to m-"

"NO! DON'T DO IT!" Seras screamed at the papers in her hand, eyes wide as she gaped in horror. In his room, Alex jumped at the pure horror in his wife's voice. "DO NOT DO THE DEED WITH HIM!"

"Wot 'r ya yellin' 'bout now Draculina?" Alex demanded as he stormed from his room to investigate the reason for such panic. The response he got however was not what he'd expected nor was he sure to react once he'd gotten the response. Instead he stood dumbstruck as she gaped at him with bulging eyes, raised hair, and the widest gaping face he'd seen her have yet. "Wot?"

"WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX!" Seras shrieked throwing her hands back and staring in horror at the innocent pieces of paper. "WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU?!"

"Oi! Wot 'r ya talkin' bout ya crazy vampire?"

"Here!" With that Seras grabbed him firmly by the arm and practically threw him on the seat. Grunting in alarm, he was about to snap at her when papers were shoved under his nose. Grunting he read the first couple lines, paused then took the papers from her and read them himself, eyebrows furrowing the longer his eyes scanned the pages. They stopped however in the approximately same time hers did, his body stiffening as he went completely still. "...Father Anderson?"

"..." He didn't even look up at her. He just stood, took the papers neatly in a pile and walked calmly into the living room. There he tore it into large chunks, tossed them in the fireplace and lit that sucker up. Watching it burn for a moment he stood with a grunt, turning to glance back at her through gleaming glasses. "Weh dun speak o' dat monstrosity. Dat clur?"

"Yessir." Seras saluted despite the rather pink face she wore. "Though, I wonder who sent it?"

"I dun know buh w'n I find 'em, dere gonna get a new stry ta write." Alex growled darkly as he glared venomously at the flames. "Blooda heathens. Ta tink dat dere's somebody so twistad as ta...mess wit a vampire 'n a paladin... Ah no."

"Are you thinking my thoughts?"

"Dere da only two dat know yer a vamp're 'n like ta mess wit us." Alex said gravely as his nose wrinkled in disgust. "BLOODY HEATHENS!"

"N-now calm down!" Seras said waving her hands quickly. "Maybe somebody is writing it like... like a twilight book? Besides, they never actually said vampire."

"Den wot in da devil is da pope 'n da Queen doin' in it? Deres quite 'lot 'o butt kissin' fer it not to be them!" Alex pointed out with a growl. " 'dere right? Who wouldda taught?' Bah! Can't dey keep dere beady eyes outta 'r live fer just a damn day? 'ow many chapters are dere anyway? Dat can' be de first one."

"I think the lady next door keeps taking them." Seras explained with a shrug. "At least, she eyes up our doorstep quite a bit. This is the first time I've seen anything like this."

"Eh? Boot da next der lady is... 'n elder." Alex frowned as he glanced almost hesitantly at the door. "Yer sure?"

"I'm almost positive. I've seen her take something quite often but I never really thought about it. We still had our bills and newspaper so I thought maybe it was coupons." Seras answered shrugging. "I guess I was wrong though. Poor woman must be pretty lonely if she's stealing other peoples books. Maybe I'll lend her some."

"Eh? Ya 'ave b'ks 'ere?" Alex frowned deeply at the thoughtful vampire. "N't dat smoot crap."

"It's not smut, it's romance novels and yes I have them." Seras snorted sharply as she began ticking off something in her head. "I brought a box or two of them though I'm not sure which kind she likes... Judging by the story we just burned I'm going to guess the forbidden love. Hm... she'd like 'Savage Affair' then probably, maybe 'Dark Nights'. Oh! I'll lend her 'Midnight Kisses', that was one of my favorites!"

"...Yer gonna lend 'er yer p'rn books?"

"They aren't porn!" Seras snapped as her face turned heavy red. "They're romance! There isn't anything wrong with lending a book to somebody!"

"...I dun get ya women." Alex sighed throwing his hands up and walking back to his room, shaking his head in confused disbelief. Seras stuck her tongue out at him before going downstairs to hunt through books. It wasn't long before the doorbell rang however and when Seras opened the door, the rather pudgy neighbor stared up at her through wide round glasses.

"Mrs. Binby! How are you?" Seras greeted her cheerily as she waved her in. The older woman didn't leave the walkway, her wrinkled tan skin stone still as she locked eyes with Seras almost quizzically.

"Did next chapter come?" She asked, her almond eyes narrowing suspiciously at Seras. "I saw man stop. Chapter?"

"Well...Alex burned it."

"He Waaaa?"

"Sorry." Seras apologized bowing her head. "He's a priest and all, so when he saw the chapter he... well he did what every priest would do."

"Awww no. T'was getting good!" the older woman pouted as she gave the doorway towards Alex a cold look. "Damned man."

"I have other books though, if you'd like to read them. I'll lend them to you for as long as you need." Seras smiled warmly and the little neighbor lit up. "Yet, please don't stay mad at Anders... He's trying to help you stay closer to the lord in his own way. I think what he did (though wasn't appriciated) was his way of trying to do good."

"...I suppose I forgive him this time. Next chapter though, it mine." with that they laughed, agreed then swapped books. It wasn't until Mrs. Binby was out the door did Alex reappear, his arms crossed as he gave Seras a sharp look. She blinked up at him, he stared down at her. Then she slowly gave him a shaky smile and headed for the basement which he decided to then block with his body.

"Draculina."

"Yes Father?"

"...Wot jus' happened?"

"I lent some books to an older woman who was going to begrudge you for burning the book she was reading." Seras summed up with an innocent but tense smile. "Why?"

"'n ya just, le' her take da books. Da porn books." Alex felt his lip twitched as he growled at her. Neither noticed the door creak open then close again. They were too involved in glaring at each other with the clear look of war on their faces.

"They aren't porn, they're romance novels." Seras fumed with a stamp of her foot. "There's a difference!"

Anders snorted, opening his mouth to sneer at her when a loud yelp came out instead. Twisting around he backed away, hands on his ass as he stared in bewilderment at the suddenly smug looking neighbor. Her eyes narrowed almost pervertedly gleeful as she rubbed her chin almost thoughtfully. Alarmed and confused, Seras just looked between the two as Anderson gaped at the pleased woman.

"M-Mrs Binby! Dun ya tink dat squeezin' a man's rear 's sinnin'? 'm married ta boot!" Alex stated shocked as he edged closer to Seras. She turned red as she now gaped at the older woman. Mrs Binby wasn't deterred though, her eyes narrowed as she nodded in what appeared to be approval. She looked at Seras with a nod before cackling gleefully.

"The writer was accurate! His buns are firm!" Mrs Binby cackled. "Wonder if the other parts are true..."

"Mrs. Binby!" Seras gasped as she promptly stood between the older woman and her 'husband'. "That's unlady like!"

"Oh, sorry my dear. I'll be going then. I've got all the time in the world to calculate the accuracy of each...encounter. Kekekekke." with that the woman vanished leaving two gaping adults in her dust. Seras glanced up at the scarlette male, her own face blushing as she cleared her throat.

"I...I think you may need to watch your step for a while."

"Wot uder pars 'r mentioned in dat book? 'n dun lie, I know ya read 'em."

"...I think you should watch your front in particular. You never know when something may hit you in the delicates." Seras answered clearing her throat. He stared at her in disbelief before slowly glancing down then up at her again.

"Oh yer kiddin' meh." Anders said flatly as he now felt a growing irritation and slight dread within him. Seras gave him a sheepish smile in return though it clearly didn't make him feel better. He grumbled in response to her obvious embarrassment at being caught. Not that he cared what she read at the moment, but he didn't like where this was going.

"No sir."

"..." Anderson's shoulders slumped as he let out a low groaning curse. "F'ck."

Another chapter, be HAPPY!

Sorry took so long, still writing it and it hasn't been a month yet. I'm catching a cold though DX So if it looks a bit wierd/sounds off thats way. My apologies.

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