Laying beside the man you're married to was suppose to be relaxing. The ability to snuggle and sigh as two lovers dreamed happily about something or another. Yet, Seras was anything but relaxed. Not only had Anders nearly killed her in the basement but now, here they were laying side by side, back to back, with the foulest mood possible radiating from his form. They'd changed into their pj's separately, he in a pair of jogging pants and shirt while she wore a complete Winnie the Pooh pants and shirt to match. Not the most attractive thing in the world but she definately didn't want to wear those short shorts and spaghetti shirt that mysteriously appeared within her wardrobe along with a pair of lacy red panties and bra. Mentally she scolded her master, despite him not being able to hear her. To send such things to another person's house was just frowned on! Then to have... them discovered by Anders and Whiplash? Master really did need to find a new hobby that didn't involving thinking of ways to make his minion's life miserable.

"Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into now?" Seras sighed rather loudly, forgetting in her mental wanders of the man behind her. "I mean, not only am I married to an angry priest who'd rather me dead, but now Master is sending... intimate toys for wedding presents. How am I suppose to sleep down there now?"

"Ya c'n sell da dam' tings." Anders replied flatly. Seras yelped as she instinctively tightened up, scooting farther away from him on the bed and closer to the edge. Not that there was a lot more room due to his bulk but it made her feel just a bit better. Turning to look over her shoulder, she saw he was doing the same though his eyes were narrowed and irritated instead of wide and surprised. "Da ya always talk ta yerself?"

"...Sorry." Seras mumbled as she turned to face the right way and drew the blankets up to her chin. This just wasn't fair. She really did want to go back to England. She wanted to ride her small creaky bike down the streets again while she waved at friends and old coworkers. Not surrounded by strangers who gave her dull looks and pervy grins. Father Leo still came for her company once and a while, offering to take her for walks and show her the scenery or simply ask for help in the gardens but that was it. Not even the children liked her. She sighed gloomily, again forgetting the man behind her while she basked in her miserable thoughts.

So deep in her head she didn't notice him shift, didn't notice the groaning of the bed nor the bend of it whilst he rolled over to look at her tense back. He watched her silently, laying quiet as she nearly brought herself to tears just with her mind. He wasn't quite sure if it was him or not that had caused it, or if she maybe did this to herself every night. Though, what if she did? He frowned immediately as his brain forced itself into overdrive, recalling now that he thought about it, he'd hardly seen her drink blood let alone sleep. She always seemed up and about, day or night. Was she scared to sleep, or simply restless? Well, either way there had to be some way to make her stop. He hated vampires sure, but those were monsters. This... girl, this woman in front of him was something else. True, she had the strengths and weakness as they normally did but she still had heart.

Knowing his thoughts were getting him nowhere, he sighed. He forced himself to roll over, tossing his arm half hazard around her middle and pulling close to his warmth. She tensed immediately, iron grips grabbing at his elbow and one on the side of the bed as she now made him move to spoon against her back. The position was intimate, close and awkward for the both of them yet he forced it. He forced himself to breath in, take in her strawberry smell and cool skin while she trembled in his arms. He'd known she'd be frightened, spooked at his sudden hold but he'd expected a struggle from her. Yet here she was, passively gripping onto his arm as he allowed his mind to wander. Bit by bit he relaxed, slowly breathing out and in as muscle by muscle he let go. To anybody else, he wouldn't dare. Not to vampire and not to a human. Yet, he did with her knowing she wouldn't attack him. She couldn't without fighting it over in her head and even then she would most likely let him go. So, he breathed.

He wasn't sure how long it took, how many sighs of air or rumbling huffs before she too began to settle. He felt her, subtle movements but still there. At first, the grip began to loosen ever so slightly and behind it her shoulders dropped just a sliver. Her trembling slowed back into stiffness while he held onto her cold frame, then eventually even that faded away. They breathed in sync with each other, waiting until she was near completely relaxed before he spoke again, his voice low and rumbling.

"Dere, dat's nah so bad aye?" Anders murmured softly, his deep voice vibrating his chest and sending tickles down her back. She mumbled back an answer he half caught, making a small smirk slide across his lips. She blushed in return. He chuckled lowly as he lay his head slowly beside her own, grunting a bit in amusement as she thoughtlessly shifted to better accompany the position. Perfect. "Nah, ya a'vent b'n sleepin' well, 'ave ya?"

"...I've been sleeping just f-"

"Dun lie Draculina." Anders growled causing her to tense again. Mentally he facepalmed as he lowered his voice into a slight huff, batting a half assed shot at humor in hopes that it may get the damned woman to settle down again.. "I dun want ta 'ave to tickle ya fer da trooth."

"...Tickle me?"

"Well ah c'n stab meh o'n wife. Da only torture lef' 's ticklin'." Anders replied with a grin. She stared at him with wary disbelief causing his grin to grow wider with mischief. She gave him a narrowed eye stare that eventually turned into one of shock when the hands around her began to squiggle. Just slightly of course, but for a man with big hands he surely could get the smallest spots. Squeaking she squirmed away from them only realize she was trapped by his body. He gave chase, tickling at her ribs with growing delight while she yelped and giggled swatting rather painfully on his arm. Had he been human, they'd of definitely had more then a couple bruises. "'r ya ready fer da trooth now lass?"

"I-I was!" Seras squealed as she finally grabbed onto his still hands and held them firmly in her own. Her breathing came in harsh gasps as she clung to him, giving his hands a rather playful scowl as she panted. "I was! I have been sleeping fine!"

"...I dun believe ya." With that the hands made their move again and she screeched, now thrashing on the bed as she kicked at him. He grinned wildly as he dodged what blows he could, coming to straddle her instead as he forced her legs to remain beneath his bulk and leaving his hands free for more assaults. Noticing it, she gave him a warning growl that he ignored, diving now for her neck and armpits as well as the sides and belly. The bed nearly broke as she screeched and yelled, laughing too hard now to barely say his name properly between the huffs and gasps.

"A-Alex!" She laughed as went to grab at him. He dodged back only barely though her fingertips grazed his side. Immediately he squawked back, jerking slightly away from the hand as he stared at her in horror. Suddenly, the tables had turned and it was Seras who stared at him with growing delight, a wary look suddenly covering his face before he yelped in surprise, his world spinning as he was thrown off of her and onto the floor. Within seconds she was on him again, now coping his own techniques as he howled and tickled back.

Neither really one that battle, both so out of breath and sore from the giggles that they simply gave up and lay panting on the floor. Alex glanced over at the now tired but content looking vampire with a curiosity. No, she wasn't a monster. No matter how much he tried to ignore the slight hints of humanity that shone in her eyes, the look of childish joy was something he couldn't. How had she remained so human despite having such a heathen for her 'master'? He wasn't sure but he was glad. At least like this he could pretend to have a semi-normal wife.

"Why did you ask?" Snapping out of his thoughts, Anders blinked and frowned, tilting his head questioningly as she stared back at him panting. Clearing her throat, she clarified. " I mean, about my sleep. It's the first time you'd asked about that."

"...Ya loo' liah shit." Anders answered wearily. She blinked at him and frowned hard, trying not to look insulted while she tried to understand him. Sighing he rolled onto his side, propping himself up on an elbow, groaning a bit as his belly wailed protests. Damn that was going to hurt in the morning. "Ya loo' t'red 'n w'n ah taught 'bout it den ah n'ticed yer awake m'r den not. Wond'r'd why."

"...Ah. I see." She didn't really say anything past that, her head tilting slightly as she looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. He huffed at her, though it held no malice he did hold a bit of a scolding to it. She wince and gave him an apologetic smile, her eyes straying him for a moment before picking up to look almost quizzically at his hair. He frowned at her, about to ask yet another odd question when her hand moved. He barely saw it, he didn't react fast enough, but soon it was buried deep in his blonde locks. Tensing he froze up, stiff as a board while she hesitantly glided her fingers though, the long nails scraping gently across his skull in a way that lulled him once more into peace. "You're hair's quite soft."

"Mmm." was the slurred grunt as he pushed his head slowly into the gentle nails. "Dun know why. Moosta got da da'm ting burned m're t'mes d'n I ken count..."

"Burned?"

"Ya'd be surprised wot a panicked monster c'n do. Dat damned heathen lit da 'ole 'ouse 'n fire tryin' ta coover 's tracks." Anders answered with a yawn and a shrug, humming with content as he allowed himself to lay again on the floor. Seras followed him down, running through his hair with growing curiosity. She hadn't expected such a soothing effect on him just having his hair played with. Of course, she wasn't complaining either but it was just... shocking. Unthought of. Yet as he glanced up over at her, his were eyes half open and slowly closing until they shut completely. A low snore rumbled free of his chest and sent vibrations into the floor much to her amusement. Curling up against his chest she giggled softly, her own eyes closing as she forgot her earlier fears and simply went to sleep beside him.

A dark figure slid through the shadows, movements slow and smooth as he stood silently above the slumbering couple. Slowly a toothy grin spread across his cheeks as blood red eyes narrowed in clear amusement. He looked around the room passively, amused and scoffing at the lack of protection. Probably another rule on behalf of the Queen. The 'guest' snorted in disgust. Silly humans and their attempts to control others.

Still. This was good. Looking down at the two of them with the wild smile stretched across his face, the vampire almost purred with delight. Not even an hour with that little ploy of his and they were already giving him more then enough to keep writing. Yes, definately enough food for the fire. Who'd of thought Judas Priest was ticklish? His hair was soft? A mere fool could figure out his ass would be firm, with all the fighting and training he'd done with his regeneration skills. Yet, for such juicy details like these. Simply too good to pass up.

Plucking a small folded note from inside his jacket, he put it gently on the bed facing Seras, its curly handwriting unmistakable for his own. Chuckling darkly he turned and slid again through the shadows, the laughter dying away in echoes much to the confusion of a groggy Seras. Opening her eyes, she looked around in confusion as she tried to locate her master. It took mere moments to find nothing, and a moment longer to process that fact. Then, passing it off as a dream she once again curled into his chest, smiling softly when his chin rested gently on her forehead. Again, she drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

Morning;

When Seras awoke next, she was curled into his chest with one hand resting on his bare belly. There wasn't a real thought in her head despite wondering how her coffin got so large and bright so naturally when she raised her head groggily to peer at the sunny window she was confused. Already her back ached as usual but the normal morning chill wasn't there. In fact she felt warm, oddly warm. Grumbling her curses at the sun she lay back down, snuggling into her perceived pillow. It grunted back and shifted, entangling further their legs as an arm curled around her hip and a warm breath blew past her ear. That woke her up real damn fast.

Alarmed Seras stared up in growing shock and panic at Alex's sleeping face. Flashes of last night came back to her and she couldn't stop the inward screeches of horror and embarrassment as she tried to figure out how to get away without waking the slumbering priest. All ideas were slim to none, terror growing with each passing second that he might wake up. She tried to wiggle away only for a heavy hand to grip firmly and pull her flush to his chest, a heavy purr sliding from his lips before the snoring resumed. She blushed in embarrassment, trying to keep her nose from nuzzling the bare expanse of his neck.

What she didn't know however was that Anders had awake for a while now, debating on giving up the sleeping act long or simply letting her squirm more. Revenge perhaps for her Master's 'wedding gifts' or just solely for amusement, he wasn't sure yet but either way it gave him quite a giddy feeling. Still, eventually her movements died down and he cracked open an eye to see her hiding against his neck. He snorted at her.

"Mornin' pet." Anders grunted at her lowly, his voice gravely from sleep. "Ya Sleep w'll?"

"..! You're awake!" Seras yelped as she once more tried to squirm away. He grunted and held her firm. "...Ah. Yes, I did. Did you sleep alright? I'm surprised your back isn't aching."

"Nay, 'm feen." Anders answered with a yawn. "Yer toss 'n yer sleep too. Little heathen, ya nearly smacked ma nose off."

"...!"

" 'm kiddin'."

"You're so mean!" Seras huffed puffing out her cheeks. He snickered at her. "I mean it! Don't laugh!"

"Aye, 'll stoop joost 's soon as ya stop actin' leek ma kid 'n start bein' ma weef." Anders taunted with a feral grin. Seras glowered at him. "Awright, Awright Draculina. 'm ettin' da 'int."

She huffed at him before sitting up and stretching, his hands falling off of her and lying flat on the floor as he made no movement to get up. She snorted at him and his apparent 'laziness' before a pale note caught her attention. Curious she reached over and grabbed it, flipping it open with a tilt of her head. Noticing Anders sat up as well, reading over her shoulder the best he could without his glasses.

Dear Police Girl and Judas Priest

Thank you for such welcomed ideas. I will gladly write them within the next couple chapters and as usual, send you and your elderly neighbor a detail description of your fantasy sex life. Also, I should inform you that the man below you has also recieved all current chapters of my master piece. Look forward to your growing fame and may Judas priest finally grow enough balls to actually sleep beside you without having to resort to such low excuses.

Alucard

Again the house was roaring as Alex screeched his fury to the world, Seras scrambling away from the cursing priest as he began to hunt down his 'anti-vampire material'. Below, Whiplash was deep into chapter five, nearly half way through and so far in the story he never even heard the shouts of heathens and cutting off heads while being lit on fire. He didn't hear the panicked attempts to calm the man down nor the whooping cackles that echoed from the house next door and through the open window.

Really, her master needed a new hobby.

Another Chapter! :D YOUR REVIEWS INSPIRED ME TO WRITE TWICE THIS MONTH! CONGRADULATIONS!

I felt like writing it up so I did. Feel spoiled, I gave you guys two chapters this month (well technically the last one was for February but I'm not counting) and for it I demand to be showered with cookies! :D GIVE THEM ALL TO ME

Anyway, So, I guess you'll want to leave me all alone in my misery so read, review, and whoever it was that farted in my room last night and stank it to high heaven. NOT. COOL.

(_0)

Doggy D Cookiethief.