"Juliet, where the hell are the potatoes?" Juliet's eyes instinctively rolled up to the ceiling of her bathroom. She shook her head slightly to ease her mild headache and looked back at her reflection. Arthur had been particularly ornery all day.
And it was only one in the afternoon.
"I always keep the potatoes on a hook in the pantry," she said crossly, glaring at herself in the mirror.
"There are no potatoes," her husband insisted loudly through the door. He whacked the door frame impatiently with the flat of his hand, "Get out of there. You're doing nothing but wasting time and energy trying to make yourself presentable. It's like painting a barnyard animal." Juliet's mouth twisted into a hard frown and she turned the sink on full blast to help block him out. She hadn't been in the best of moods, herself. Arthur hit the door again, harder.
"Juliet! Get out of there now. You can't hide in there all day long. There's dinner to be made and wrongs to be righted."
Juliet very much wanted to snap back at him that she very well could stay in the bathroom all day if she so wished, as she had locked the door and Arthur, while rather lean, did not possess the brute strength needed to break it down. Furthermore she had a multitude of magazines and books to keep her occupied, and she did not eat very much. Oh, yes. She could stay in here all day long and well into the night.
She let out a soft sigh.
No, she couldn't. The longer she stayed, the more unpleasant Arthur would become. She preferred not to push him too far. He would slip right past unbearable and into abusive. She couldn't take that all day, and that she knew for certain. His insults were already wearing on her.
Arthur stepped away from the door when he heard the doorknob rattle.
"And so the bat emerges from her steaming cave. Lot of time for not a lot of change. Happy with yourself?" he inquired, motioning for the bedroom door. Juliet brushed by him quickly, turning her body so he could not grab hold of one her arms.
"Never, Arthur," she replied sourly, her nose turning up as she crossed the threshold into the corridor. Arthur followed hotly.
"You've been getting a little snide since the move, my dear. I would hope you don't think of that as a permanent change." There was an edge in his voice.
"I'd never," she muttered, ducking her head as she strode into the kitchen. She opened the door to the pantry and deflated slightly.
"There now. You see? I told you." The door closed roughly when Arthur planted his hand on it and leaned in near her face, "You got so uppity for no reason. I'm not a stupid man or a blind one. You can apologize later."
Juliet turned her face and frowned heavier. She had no intention of apologizing, and Arthur didn't really expect one anyway.
"There's no need to be childish," Juliet muttered, stepping away from him. The tall blonde leaned on the door and crossed his arms.
"I'm detecting a hint of bitterness… Well, there's no need for that. It can be fixed, dear." Juliet resisted the urge to roll her eyes again.
"And what is it you would like me to do, Arthur? I know enough than to think you would solve the problem yourself." Arthur straightened as if struck by electricity and grabbed the smaller woman by her arms. Juliet hunched, frozen in place, tensed in the iron grip of spidery fingers. His hands were always so cold. She could feel them like icy wires through her shirt. They tightened around her soft arms.
"Let's not play this game today, hm…?" he hissed, lowering his face. He tilted his head at an angle, like a curious cat that had caught a mouse but had not yet decided what to do with it.
"It's just a new house, Juliet…. The rules have not changed." Juliet tensed again and tried to wretch away. Arthur squeezed her arms tightly and held her in place. His face had slipped from a look of irritation to one of cool indifference. It was how he usually looked. It was the face that frightened her most. He leaned in closer, his lip curling slightly.
"You know better, don't you…?" Juliet kept her mouth shut tight, partially out of defiance. Mostly out of fear. Arthur tilted his head the other way, waiting for an answer. When he did not receive one, he shook her once, roughly.
"Don't you?" Juliet squeaked. A mouse indeed. Arthur dug his nails into the backs of her arms.
"The fantastic part about living in a house, and not a flat," he said softly, "Is that it takes longer for neighbors to hear things through the walls." He pushed the little woman away and straightened again. Juliet stumbled back a few steps and held her hands in front of her, determined not to rub her sore arms until he had left her alone.
"It also takes longer for them to respond, does it not?" Juliet hesitated.
"…yes, Arthur."
"There we go. Go to the market and pick up the potatoes you so stupidly neglected in your last shopping trip." He dug into his pants pocket, pulled out a billfold, and handed over a few bills. Juliet took them quickly.
"I want the red ones, Juliet. And I want them back here within the next forty-five minutes. Am I clear?" Juliet folded the money carefully, focusing on her fingers to prevent them from shaking quite so much.
"Yes, Arthur," she replied quietly, taking her purse from the kitchen table and stowing the money. Arthur turned towards the refrigerator and dug out a paper-wrapped steak he had been saving.
"There we are. I do love a good steak… Only when paired with those lovely little red potatoes you certainly ought to be on your way to fetching." He tossed a look over his shoulder, starting to unwrap the meat. Juliet blinked and hurriedly left the kitchen, clutching her purse to her chest tightly. Arthur hummed, looking back at his uncooked dinner, already thinking of the ways he would prepare it, in a much better mood now that he had reestablished order within his home.
"And don't even think about taking a bite out of any of the vegetables, Juliet. Greedy piggies get punished, you know," he called as the front door shut, taking out a knife and beginning to sharpen it.
Juliet practically fled down the sidewalk, her arms stinging. She could almost feel bruises forming. Part of her felt angry, so angry that Arthur thought he could treat her like that. The other part of her chimed in that, well of course he could. She always let him. And even if she tried to stop him, that's more than a bruise she was liable to earn. The two sides fought loudly for dominance inside her head as she made a bee-line down the street. It was a good thing she did not have to drive to the market. In her trembling, anxious state she was very likely to wreck.
And then where would Arthur get his potatoes? She thought bitterly. She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. Rebellious things, tears. Always sneaking out unbeknownst to her. She was in public for goodness' sake. Someone was likely to see—
THUNK.
Juliet jerked violently to the side and toppled into the road, her vision blurring beyond the ability of tears. She shook her head weakly and held a hand to her pounding skull.
"Nice shot, doofus."
"Yeah-huh, you think so, Mandy?" There was a thud.
"Guess not..." the same voice chuckled weakly, slightly muffled. Juliet blinked stars away from her vision and saw a ball near her foot. She squinted at it, rubbing her head tenderly, and looked up in the direction of the voices. Two children peered over a chain-link fence at her. One had an exceedingly unnerving glare and the other appeared to have a mouthful of dirt and grass.
"Hey lady," snapped the angry-looking child, her blonde-hair spiked up similar to horns one might see on a similarly-sized demon, "D'you mind? That's our ball you're hogging." The girl pointed to the red rubber toy that had no doubt connected with Juliet's skull earlier. Juliet looked at it, then scooped it up, shakily standing and dusting off her skirt. She tossed it gently back over the fence, and the girl caught it deftly in one hand. She stepped off of the fence and dropped to the ground, walking back towards the middle of the barren yard as if Juliet's sudden appearance and injury were of no consequence.
To this child, they were not.
The boy spat out a large clod of dirt, which splattered to the ground near Juliet's feet. She grimaced.
"Hey! I know you, lady," the boy shouted, pointing a stubby finger at her, "You're a teacher at my school!" Juliet adjusted her shirt and picked up her purse.
"Well, yes, I suppose that—"
"I hate dirty, stinkin' teachers!" the child snapped, his face twisted into a scowl, "Get offa my lawn!" Juliet blinked and frowned, tightening her grip on her bag.
"Excuse me?" she huffed. The boy threw his baseball cap down on the ground in anger and climbed farther up onto the fence, pointing again.
"You get offa my lawn before I call the cops! You aint's givin' me no homework, lady!" Juliet put her hand on her hip and made a noise of disbelief.
"You stop all that yelling at me!" she shot back, "Have you no manners? Where are your parents? I should like to speak to them about this." The boy scrabbled over the edge of the fence, like a dog trying to make the jump to get at her.
"Get offa my lawn, you rotten homework-giver!"
"I'm not on your lawn!" the schoolteacher retorted. The boy took a breath, but before he could speak, there was a thwump! And he toppled over the side of the fence, landing on the concrete sidewalk face first. The red rubber ball bounced lightly on the grass and rolled to a stop in front of the shiny black shoes of the little girl. She said nothing and crossed her arms, glaring steadily through the fence at the Englishwoman who had distracted her playmate. Juliet tightened her grip on her bag again and looked away, taking a step forward to the fallen boy.
"Oh, my goodness… are you alright?" she asked, bending slightly to look down at him, "Little boy…?" The boy picked up his head and glared at her through a swollen eye. He made a choked hissing noise in response. Juliet wrinkled her nose, surprised, and stepped away.
"Oh, good Lord," she said quietly, "What on Earth—"
"Billy. Get up, you lazy baboon. It's seventy-eight to nothing and there's still twenty minutes left." The boy turned his head with a nasty pop and jumped up lightly.
"I'm gonna getcha this round, Mandy!" he shouted, clambering back over the fence clumsily. He landed heavily on his feet, righted himself, and ran over to the dour-looking girl in pink, holding his hands up in a catcher's positon. Juliet took a cautious step away, her brow furrowed slightly. She hesitated, then turned and headed farther up the street, setting her small hand on the side of her head again.
"Ow…" she groaned quietly to herself, fixing her eyes on the stop sign at the end of the street. What odd children.
"Hey Mandy, how do we even earn points in this game?" Juliet heard the familiar sound of rubber-on-skull followed by a thud and a pained groan.
"Seventy-nine to nothing."
Odd children indeed. Thankfully, not hers though.
Skarr had seen the last bit of the confrontation over his back fence (and a few rose bushes). The sound of a rubber ball whacking some unwitting victim on the side of the head brought back a series of flashbacks almost as painful as those he occasionally suffered from his days as… a wayward general. He had instinctively ducked down in case there was to be an ambush. When no such thing happened, and no hideous children's laughter was heard over his fence, he chanced a look over the pointed wooden planks.
"You stop all that yelling at me! Have you no manners? Where are your parents? I should like to speak to them about this." He narrowed his eyes and frowned, tightening his grip on the trowel in his hand. That damned woman again. It had hardly been a week. What could she want now? Wanting to borrow more tea, perhaps? He scoffed to himself, refusing to think about the fact that he had gone back to the store and purchased a tin of Earl Grey, the same sort he had seen her buy at the market. Instead he chose to focus on the fact that she would more than likely waddle up to his front door and bat those gray eyes of hers and pester him till he surrendered.
What a nuisance.
Clearly it must have been her that the rotten little children had assaulted. The woman's hair was mussed up on one side and her face was red with frustration. Not to mention the fact that the little idiot boy was yelling back at her over the fence, despite the fact that said fence was made of chain-link and could easily be spoken through.
"I'm not on your lawn!"
Skarr's lips curved into a sinister little smirk. So easily bothered. He heard the devil girl call her monkey of a companion back to her and their mindless, childish game. But he was not particularly interested in them. He narrowed his eyes and hunched slightly, watching Juliet continue her path down the sidewalk, heading directly for his gate. He rolled his eyes and stepped away from the fence. Well, if there was to be no stopping her…
He removed his gloves and set them beside his gardening tools before brushing some dirt off of his pants, already mentally preparing the short-lived, snarky battle he would soon have. The young lady really did not need much incentive to be frustrated. If he thought about it, he could really make it into a sort of game. He was never one for fun, but perhaps if the fun centered on someone else's frustrations…
He walked around the side of his house, a snide greeting poised in his mind to catch the little woman off-guard. To his surprise, Juliet had not stopped at his gate. She was still walking with a purpose, holding the side of her head. When she approached the stop sign, she turned the corner and began to walk down the other side of his fence. He frowned heavily. Where did she get off playing hard to get? He scowled at the thought and huffed, marching for the fence. He was annoyed. At her and at himself. She was not playing hard to get. She wasn't even playing. This wasn't a game, and even if it were, he had not informed her of such. There was no need to be annoyed. Yet annoyed he was. The woman had not noticed his approach, which only made him that much more unhappy. He stopped beside the fence and gripped the slats tightly, scowling at her. He cleared his throat loudly when she passed, and she jumped as if struck, ducking down quickly. The sight amused him slightly.
"You're learning," he said, loosening his grip on the fence. Juliet turned her head back and looked at him, narrowing her eyes. She straightened and adjusted her shirt.
"Learning? That's a skill, then, is it?"
'Isn't it?" Skarr shot back, nodding his head towards Billy's yard. Juliet looked in his suggested direction, then huffed.
"You saw that, then?"
"Not the actual attack, no. But the colorful aftermath." Juliet adjusted the strap of her purse.
"It wasn't an attack. They're just children."
"That little boy was ready to scratch your eyes out." Juliet snorted lightly, tucking a curl behind one ear.
"Excitable, is all. I'm sure." Skarr frowned.
"Your definition of excitable is disturbing, Juliet," he remarked lowly. The woman turned a soft shade of pink and turned her head to gaze down the street again.
"As charming as this conversation has been so far, I really must be off. Lots of things to do that don't involve turning fifteen-minute tasks into small eternities plagued by nonsensical small-talk." Skarr blinked, then frowned.
"…Not quite what I said."
"Yes, it was," Juliet responded tightly, turning down the street again. He followed her along the fence.
"No, it wasn't."
"I distinctly remember."
"Woman, you're wrong, and you'll have to come to terms with that." Juliet scoffed, turning her nose up. He narrowed his eyes.
"Don't do that. You're just in denial."
"I'm trying to go to the market."
"You could just ask to borrow more tea." He scarcely believed he had said it. Juliet stopped in her tracks and looked at him curiously. After a moment, she turned her body back towards the fence.
"I am not in pursuit of tea today, Reginald." She folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head at him, keeping her eyes narrowed. He recovered quickly, mimicking her by crossing his arms on the fence.
"Well, then, what are you after?"
"What are you after?" Juliet returned. He didn't immediately reply. What was he after?
"…I asked you first," he eventually retorted, rather lamely. Juliet's gray eyes cut to the side in exasperation, and she exhaled sharply.
"Potatoes. I need potatoes for dinner tonight and I had forgotten them early in the week. Have I slaked your curiosity with my grocery list, sir?" His lip curled at the acid in her tone.
"Well, you could have asked for those as well," he snapped, his fingers curling into fists on the fence, "Unless that run-in with the pint-sized moron has knocked your common sense out along with your manners, as the case seems to be." Juliet gasped quietly, her brows knitting together.
"Oh! You want to talk about manners!" She put her hands on the curves of her hips and leaned forward towards the fence, her round face reddening again.
"Maybe I would," he sneered at the blushing visage, before motioning in a grand, over-dramatic gesture towards his house, "Would you, dear lady, care to come inside for a bit?" Juliet straightened, puffing her gratuitous chest.
"Why yes, kind sir, I would delight in nothing more."
"Wonderful."
Juliet walked all the way back around to the front gate, frowning heavily and nose turned up in distaste. Her face was red with frustration, and it matched her hair well. Skarr opened the gate and stepped aside, throwing in a sarcastic little bow when she entered the yard. She scowled at him and walked up the pathway to the front steps. Skarr slammed the gate shut and locked it, nearly seething. How dare this woman waltz into his yard and up to his house?
He chose to ignore the fact that he had invited her.
Billy watched the chubby schoolteacher and his strange, reclusive neighbor disappear through the front door. When he heard the door shut, he looked over his shoulder at Mandy, who was counting the money he had just handed over to her as part of their bet: 100 wins to zero in under thirty minutes. He still wasn't sure as to the rules of the game. He jerked his head towards his neighbor's house.
"Hey Mandy, whattya think the teacher lady wants with that creepy old one-eyed weirdo?" Mandy did not look up from her counting.
"Get off of that fence before you see something that warps your peanut-sized brain," she muttered, and then folded the bills up and put them in her dress pocket. Billy dropped to the ground.
"Like what, Mandy?" he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. Mandy began to walk towards the house.
"They're probably going to have sex, you idiot, and if that's the very unlikely case, you don't wanna see that." She looked over her shoulder as she pushed the front door open, "It'll melt your eyes." With that, she disappeared inside.
"Let's go watch TV. Taking your money has worn me out…"