Author's Note: Thank you so much for all of the flattering reviews! I am very grateful for every single one I receive. Especially all the love and compliments for the Danny and Steve voices! I have a feeling I'll be getting some hate mail after this chapter though…

I've also belatedly decided to hold back on the M-rating until the later chapters, seeing as how I'm essentially repeating what was aired on network TV for the moment. But I still plan on going darker…later.

Strong language. Warnings at the bottom for those who want to be prepared or maybe just want to have a weapon against the heartache I'm about to release on the world.

CHAPTER 7

The door squeaking open roused Steve from his fitful sleep. It seemed like several hours that he had been alone in the room, but he could no longer be sure after his impromptu nap which Danny had convinced him to take.

You're gonna need the rest, babe. Besides, it's better than sitting around dwelling on what's going to happen.

Steve had accidentally agreed to the nap after initially saying, 'I'll sleep when I'm dead.' Danny-in-his-head hadn't responded very well to that comment and Steve had been in for the rant of his life, until he fell asleep in the middle of it. If Danny was still pissed when he woke up, he didn't say a word. Just let Steve focus and try to figure out what was happening around him.

And here he was, facing a sad copy of his worst nightmare.

Sounds.

So many different sounds.

It was disorienting after the silence.

Scraping. Dragging. Dropping.

Cursing. Or, at least Steve assumed it was cursing. Once again he lamented that he couldn't speak Spanish, but these guys sure didn't sound happy. On the bright side, if it could be called that, Steve couldn't hear Santos' voice among the mix. He assumed that Santos would be giving orders if he were in the room.

A hand on his arm.

Steve tensed immediately, but there was absolutely nothing he could do.

Hang on, babe. Wait 'til one of 'em gets closer…

Steve waited, holding his breath in order to better hear and ascertain the positions of the men. But whatever advantage he gained by not breathing was cancelled out by the desperate pounding of his heart, trying to beat its way out of his chest with fear.

There. A man was doing something directly to his right. He kept brushing Steve's arm accidentally, but it wasn't until he felt the needle pierce his skin that Steve reacted, now knowing for certain exactly where the man was – and what he was trying to do.

Steve launched his hooded head to the right and impacted the man's torso. There was an "oomph" of surprise from the man which turned into a shout when Steve's momentum tipped the chair, Steve and all, over onto the man. Steve was able to throw out his elbow and catch the man in his ribs as they hit the floor. But now that all chances of mobility were over, Steve could do nothing but lie there on top of the man while he presumably shouted at his friends to help him. His collarbone was throbbing again, the impact having ignited a fire in his left shoulder.

Steve felt the vibrations as the chair was grabbed and slowly tipped upright. There was plenty of shouting going on now and he was becoming increasingly disoriented. He had no warning before a fist was slammed so hard into his gut that he couldn't suck in a breath for what felt like five minutes, but was probably less than one.

Steve, I know we agreed that you had to fight, that you wouldn't just sit and take this quietly, but I'm not sure that you and I had the same kind of thing in mind.

Steve "glared" at Danny as if they were both sitting next to each other in the Camaro. 'What other kind of fighting did you have in mind, partner?' he thought as he continued to try and catch his breath.

Oh, gee babe, I dunno. Maybe something that didn't end up with you being used as a human punching bag!

Ironically, right on the words punching bag, Steve's face began to be used as just that.

Punch.

Okay, so maybe he had pissed them off a bit.

Punch.

But he couldn't just sit here and passively submit himself to this treatment.

Punch. Punch.

Now this was starting to remind him of Afghanistan.

Punch.

Those guys had been determined to rearrange his face, and only his face.

Punch.

Pinch…

Fuck! They'd gotten the IV in without him even noticing this time!

Punch.

And apparently they still weren't done being compared to the fucking Taliban.

Punch. Then…

A commanding shout.

Steve couldn't hear much over the sound of blood rushing in his ears. His bell had certainly been rung thoroughly during his brief stint as a human punching bag. There was blood virtually pouring out of his nose, all to be caught by the hood, of course. The smell was sickening, and there was no way he could get away from it. His jaw was sore and his left eye felt a bit swollen, but there was no serious damage.

All of this was instantly shoved to the back of his mind when he felt cold liquid enter his veins through the IV.

Hey, Rambo. I thought that tensing up made it worse or something. Didn't I hear that somewhere?

'Doesn't matter, Danny. Can't stop it anyway,' Steve replied in his mind, sounding resigned again.

Whoa now, none of that! Haven't we gone over this before, like, a thousand times? You've got an important job to do here, and I can't have you resigning to your fate. And I suppose if that means you get used a human punching bag because you fought back, then so be it. But you gotta keep fighting, babe. You know we're looking for you.

'Yeah, Danny. I know. …I know.' Steve turned his thoughts to the mission that Danny had given him. He had to stay alive, and he had to do it not just for his own sake, but for Grace's sake, and for Danny's sake. For his team's sake. And by alive, he assumed that Danny meant being in one piece, both physically and mentally. Physically, he would heal. Steve knew that. But he wasn't even fully recovered from his last encounter with torture, so this one was going to hurt worse, be worse, and take longer to get over. It was a fact of biology, anatomy, and medicine. And if it was going to be harder physically this time around, there was just no comparing the mental Olympics that he would have to do to come out of this anywhere near as okay as the last time. As he'd "discussed" with Danny-in-his-head before, this was senseless torture, torture for the sake of torture. Steve wasn't protecting any information. He wasn't keeping his mouth shut to save lives. He wasn't defending his country. This would be completely purposeless pain. Pain for the sake of pain. Steve didn't have any training to fight this.

"Putting up a fight, Capitán? It seems that my men disapprove."

Santos' voice became clear above the murmuring that Steve had been tuning out until now.

"But I disapprove when my orders are not followed. You see, I want to follow the script that you have written as closely as possible. Unfortunately I was unable to acquire some of the equipment. We will have to make do, no? But messing up your pretty face does not come until the end, remember?" Santos had such glee in his voice as he said this that Steve felt sick to his stomach.

Or maybe that was the drugs. He hadn't even read the medical report or the official police findings. He had no interest in reliving anything that had happened beyond giving his own formal statement. Maybe he would have read the reports eventually, but he doubted that Danny would have allowed it anytime soon. The man was a serious mother hen, but then Steve didn't blame him for a second, and appreciated it more than a little.

Now though, he wished that he could at least know what types of drugs were running through his veins.

Sorry, babe. I'm just a part of your head. So if you've got no clue, then I've got no clue. I wish it worked that way.

Dammit. What a time to be reminded that he was probably going crazy or had already suffered a mental breakdown.

"Now, Capitán. It is time to give you the first dose. I am told that this drug causes, how do you say, vivid, hallucinations. It is also very painful during injection. This is from your own statement. I can only hope that we recreate it perfectly." Steve could imagine Santos' smug smile and was almost glad that he couldn't see it.

A command was given which Steve assumed meant "hold him" as a moment later his head was locked in the vice grip of two sets of hands. They certainly had done their homework and remembered how he managed to take out Wo Fat's sidekick the last time. He had almost prevented this IV in the same manner.

Without preamble the needle pierced the back of his neck and he cried out, straining against the hands that held his head.

Ice.

Fire.

It felt like a million fire ants had been released to crawl under his skin, and they spread fire wherever they touched.

He remembered this pain.

He remembered it vividly but he had no idea what was coming up next.

Hang in there, babe. Hold on. Stay with me for a bit. That's right. You got this, Steve. Good job.

He heard Danny's encouraging words soothing his burning mind. Last time Wo Fat had shown him home videos of his family first, and then gassed him. Maybe this time his reaction would be different.

Don't worry about that, Steve. Doesn't matter right now. What matters is your mission. You gotta get back to me and Grace, okay buddy? Me and Grace, remember that.

The mission. Danny. Grace.

Steve felt himself slipping further away. His thoughts were becoming muddled and Danny's voice was fading fast. The pain had blossomed into the mother of all migraines, but Steve hardly noticed as he focused his last coherent thoughts on his mission.

Ohana.

Danny.

Grace…

...

"Hey, Lou! Come over here, I've got something." Chin waited for the man to emerge from his office before he continued speaking. As he did, he threw an article up on the overhead screens.

"Jerry dug up some information on the cartel in Columbia and I just finished getting the document translated." He looked up at Lou with a weird expression on his face.

"Well don't just stand there. Tell me what it says," Lou demanded impatiently, wondering what this could possibly lead to.

"Santos isn't in charge of the cartel," Chin explained, still with the weird look on his face that Lou now understood as utter confusion.

"What?" Lou was equally as puzzled. That didn't make any sense. "Why would he tell us that he was? What would he gain from that?"

"I have no idea. I'm still waiting to hear back from some contacts that might be able to explain the situation further. And Joe has some CIA favors that may be able to get us some information. Oh, and speaking of Joe, has anyone called Catherine yet?" Chin asked.

"Well, no. That's the short answer anyway." Lou looked like he wasn't going to be forthcoming with any more information, so Chin decided to pry.

"And why shouldn't we call her, Lou? Do you know something that I don't know?" Chin wouldn't necessarily be offended if Lou knew more than he did. Although he and Steve had known each other longer, he knew that Lou and Steve had bonded pretty closely and that they had shared some demons with each other. He wouldn't begrudge either man the support that the other gave, even if he couldn't be a part of it.

"Well, see, he never called her after the last time." Lou looked a bit guilty for telling him even that much.

"And why wouldn't he call her, Lou?" Chin thought he was starting to sound just as bitingly sarcastic as a certain blonde detective that they were both missing terribly at the moment.

"They're not exactly – well, they just… they aren't really together anymore," Lou finally spat out.

"What?" Why hadn't Chin known about this? Surely Danny knew, but did Kono? They all knew that Catherine wasn't coming back anytime soon, that she had decided to stay and help out the village. Steve told them that she was taking an extended leave from Five-0 and that he didn't know when she'd be back. Come to think of it, he had seemed pretty upset when he told them. But why wouldn't he be? He couldn't know when he would next see his not-girlfriend. But this? Chin hadn't expected this!

"Well, technically she told him not to wait for her," Lou clarified. "And Steve would kill me if I told you any of this. He only let me know once he'd practically sworn me to secrecy, said Danny didn't even know."

That came as a further shock to Chin. And a much bigger one.

"Hey, man. It's nothing personal," Lou tried to explain to a speechless Chin. "He just didn't want anyone to pity him, or to focus on him instead of the job. And he figured that Danny had more than enough on his plate. I guess he was right," Lou referenced their current situation.

"But Lou, we're ohana! We're supposed to take care of each other. And he's not letting us," Chin argued.

"Hey now. I didn't hear a word of complaint pass his lips when we were all obsessively hovering over him a week ago. Especially Danny, his mother hen."

"So it's okay for us to comfort him when he lets us?" exasperated Chin. He gave a heavy sigh. "You know what, this isn't helping," Chin interrupted himself. "So, we're not calling Catherine. End of story. What about Mary and his Aunt Deb?"

Lou opened his mouth to answer, still feeling slightly guilty for having divulged McGarrett's secret, when the duo were interrupted again. A tall blonde woman in a business suit walked gracefully through the doors with a visitor's badge clipped to her lapel.

"Hi, can we help you with something?" Chin turned and inquired. "It's not a good time for visitors…" he added.

"Hi, my name's Ellie Clayton." Both men were surprised by her strong Australian accent but instantly knew who she was. "Steve and I were supposed to meet for lunch today, but he never showed so I thought I'd stop by and tease him relentlessly for forgetting about me," Ellie explained. "You must be Lieutenant Kelly," she said as she shook his hand, then turned to Lou. "And Captain Grover, it's nice to meet you." They each shook her hand courteously, but there was an awkwardness in the room that Ellie picked up on right away.

"Um, is Commander McGarrett out on a case? I called his phone a few times, but he never answered. That's not really like him." She looked questioningly from one man to the other.

Chin eventually gathered his wits and answered the concerned woman. "Ms. Clayton, of course. We've heard a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you. Um, I don't really know how to –" he sighed deeply, dropping his head to his chest before looking at their visitor again. "Commander McGarrett was abducted two days ago. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you more than that right now. Hell, I wish that I had more to tell you."

Ellie's hand flew to cover her mouth. "Oh my God, but he just – I mean, all that just happened. And now, oh, it's happened again? I've been buried in a case and I haven't even seen the news. I hadn't even had time in my schedule to meet him until today. And he's been missing two days?"

"Ms. Clayton, Ellie, it's alright. There's nothing you could have done," Lou comforted. "We didn't anticipate this attack at all."

"But," Chin began with a thoughtful look, "maybe you can help us out now."

Lou shot him a questioning look. Chin returned it with a critical one of his own.

"Lou, we need all the help we can get. We've got nothing to go on." Chin waited a beat, then added, "Steve trusts her."

"Alright," Lou conceded after a moment's hesitation. "What did you have in mind?"

"Yes, what did you have in mind?" Ellie looked earnestly at both of them, still very much concerned and slightly shaken, but giving off a confident presence that wouldn't be ignored. "Anything I can do to help, gentlemen. I mean it."

...

His mandatory meeting with the shrink had gone much better than he'd anticipated. He'd surprised himself when he'd agreed to start a low dose of antidepressants. The doc had given a pretty convincing argument; Danny couldn't be there for Grace if he was depressed and wallowing deeply in his own guilt, which he already was. It wouldn't help her recovery at all and might actually hinder it. He was certainly showing all the warning signs of depression. And there was no way he would let himself be responsible for slowing Grace's recovery in any way. If that meant pills for him, so be it. He would do anything for his daughter.

So now, prescription in hand, he had one thought on his mind: seeing his daughter. For the next hour he had to shove all thoughts of Steve and the terrible situation out of his mind. He needed to see Grace.

It had been over 20 hours since he'd left the hospital yesterday afternoon to shower and change in his home. Then he'd had the bright idea to stop by HQ and get an update on Steve but ended up with an update on his girlfriend instead…and the worst phone call of his life. Well, maybe it tied with the phone call from Rick Peterson, but there was certainly more guilt this time around. He supposed it was better that Santos' call had happened in the office rather than the hospital. Despite not being able to get a trace the team was able to get a head start with the new information.

Well, half the team anyway.

Two-fifths if he were honest. One-third if he counted the absent Cath.

After Chin had been to see him this morning and they'd had their long talk, Danny had grabbed a less than tasty hospital breakfast and a shower before changing into the fresh clothes that Kono dropped off. Meanwhile he'd had to convince himself to actually talk to the shrink instead of phoning it in. Well, Steve had done most of the convincing actually.

C'mon, Danno. One, you know its standard procedure after this type of thing. Two, you know you need it. Even you have to admit it at this point. And three, I'm not around for you to complain to, so you're gonna have to make do with someone else. Got it?

'But seriously, Steve? A shrink? Even you hate talking to shrinks?' Danny pointed out while he pulled on his pants.

I may, but I also know when they're necessary. There was a handful of times after some hard missions that I welcomed it. A chance to let go of some of the burden, you know. And I ordered my men to go, too. They weren't too happy about it, but they didn't have a choice. I can't order you, so I'll just have to annoy you until you agree to actually participate.

'Strawberry Fields?'

Will you not let that go!?

'Hey, c'mon babe. Can't blame a guy for trying.'

Did you listen to anything else I had to say, Danno?

'I heard you, babe. Keep your shirt on,' he responded as he finished buttoning up his own and tucked it in.

You know, you really don't have a choice anyway. But it is your choice to let it be useful or not. Don't be ashamed of this, Danno. It's been barely a month since Columbia, you just rescued your partner from a torture chamber and a madman, your daughter is injured, your partner is missing again, and you're being blamed for it all by another psycho madman. I heard Kono say it before and I'll say it again; that's too much for anyone, buddy. Nothin' to be ashamed of.

'Gee, babe, thanks so much for reminding me. You forget anything?'

Well, apparently you forgot it all because you had it in your head that you could do this by yourself. Let the professionals do their job, Danny. Please. I have a feeling I'm gonna need you in one piece when this is all over. You hear me, buddy?

'Yeah,' Danny admitted sadly. 'Yeah, babe. I hear you.'

Good.

The smile was obvious in Steve's voice. But rather than the sad, knowing smile that he would have expected, Danny pictured it as one of those obnoxious smiles Steve always gave after he'd been pushing Danny's buttons and felt that he'd succeeded.

So, what're you gonna tell him about me?

And that would explain the smile. Smug bastard.

'Shut up, babe. You're not on the table. I'm not trying to look completely insane here.'

Danno, you're hearing voices. Doesn't that mean you are a bit insane?

'Hey! Correction. It's just one voice.' He finished tying his shoes and had made up his mind to be mostly honest and forthcoming in this mandatory appointment. 'And it's kinda started to grow on me, so I hope it sticks around for a while,' Danny admitted. He felt a bit of warmth spread through him at that statement.

'Oh, and this is a private appointment! You're not allowed in!'

Danny swore he could see the bastard smiling bigger than ever, and gave a tiny smile of his own at the thought.

Steve had been right of course. And had also admitted to legitimately taking advantage of what the docs had to offer at some point in his life. Danny thought that maybe he should be concerned that the strongest man he knew had admitted to needing help, but after his own chat with the psychiatrist it made Steve seem even stronger in his eyes. Or maybe that was just Danny trying to make himself feel better. This wasn't actually Steve after all, right?

The elevator dinged and he stepped out onto the fourth floor, once again intent on seeing his precious daughter. He hadn't heard anything since he went in for his appointment so he was surprised to see Kono, Rachel and the uni waiting outside the door to the ward.

Once he got closer he realized that Kono had a comforting arm around Rachel…who was sobbing.

He immediately started to run to them and yelled, "What happened? What's going on!?"

Kono's mouth was frozen open. She clearly didn't expect to see him and had no idea what to say.

Rachel's tear-filled eyes met his own.

His heart broke into a million pieces for the second time in 24 hours.

...

It was a warm, sunny day. Beautiful by anyone's standards, but it was the exact opposite to how he felt. It should have been raining. The sky should have been sobbing a monsoon onto the islands.

The whole world, the very earth, should be as sad as he was at this moment.

But if he thought he was sad, it was nothing compared to how his partner must be feeling.

He hadn't even seen Danny since the rescue, not that he was exactly coherent for it anyway. The absence of his partner would have been an outrageous anomaly at any other time in their lives, but Steve understood it all too well at the present moment.

And he didn't blame Danny one bit.

He slipped his cover on and stepped carefully out of the taxi. He accidently bumped his left shoulder on the door as he stood up and tried to hide his hiss of pain. His arm would be in a sling for at least two months so that his broken collarbone could heal.

Dress whites.

He hated them. The monkey suit was so uncomfortable.

Monkey…

Steve thought back to Danny's custody hearing when he had shown up in his dress blues. First, Danny had made a fuss about the color, then had to manhandle him and fix his tie. Seriously, that man and ties. Steve could have easily worn his blues, but he chose the whites.

They were Gracie's favorite.

And today was about Gracie.

He remembered the first time she had seen him wearing them and he'd had to explain every ribbon and medal, every strip of gold and every shiny button. He didn't mind one bit.

"What's this one, Uncle Steve? What about that one? This one's my favorite! Uncle Steve, what does that one stand for? Uncle Steve, what does valor mean? Uncle Steve…"

He would never be Uncle Steve again.

A tear rolled openly down his cheek.

He had signed out AMA so that he could be here today.

He was late, but that was the plan. He wasn't even supposed to be out of the hospital yet, but still, he had missed the funeral on purpose so that his presence wouldn't upset or offend his partner.

Former partner.

Steve wasn't naïve enough to believe that they could continue as partners after this. He was hopeful that their deep friendship could survive in some form, but he wasn't counting on it. The complete lack of his partner's presence post-rescue lent itself to that assumption.

Steve didn't know if he could ever look at Danny again without the guilt completely taking him over. And Steve knew that Danny wouldn't be able to look at him without seeing the man who was responsible for his daughter's death.

He turned around and paid his fare to the cab driver and straightened up again. His ribs were still quite sore and he had a slight limp from the deep gash in his shin.

It seemed a lifetime ago that he'd cut up his leg trying to get himself and Grace out of the wrecked truck. He'd had to leave her in order to try and save her. He'd had to! Maybe if he hadn't hidden her so well. Maybe if he'd left her closer to the crash site. Maybe if he'd grabbed her backpack with her cell phone in it, which he later found out was working perfectly. That one hurt the most.

Maybe maybe maybe.

He reached his hand up to wipe away the tears that had started to cascade down his cheeks.

He didn't even try to compose himself as he limped slowly toward the fresh mound of dirt in the distance. It was covered in so many flowers and leis that he could hardly see the brown earth underneath. He smiled at the sight and thought that maybe it should be a sunny day after all.

Gracie had brought so much happiness into all of their lives. And now she was gone.

Steve finally reached the fresh grave and gave up any pretense of stoicism he had left.

He started talking to her, apologizing, but all too soon it turned into sobbing, his shoulders shaking as his breath hitched and he shouted his pain. He yelled at the unfairness of it all. He raged against God that He would let this happen! And that he would have to bear the guilt of his decisions for the rest of his miserable life.

At some point he ended up on the ground, his free arm curled around his knees while his left was sandwiched in between, being crushed by the pressure as he tried to literally hold himself together.

Sometime later, when he had no more tears to give, he started talking to Gracie again. Talking about all the fun times they'd had together, everything he'd taught her, how they both loved pineapple on their pizza and loved to tease Danno about it.

But Danno was gone, and he wasn't coming back. Not ever.

Steve sat there in silence, finally enjoying the beautiful day that was now approaching evening. He liked to think that Gracie had something to do with it.

He heard a sound behind him and whipping around to assess the threat, ignoring the pain in his exhausted body.

Chin, Kono and Lou stood there, watching him with a mixture of concern, pity and something else. Fear? Anger? They'd obviously discovered his escape from the hospital and wouldn't be very happy about it, but they must understand. Steve had been in and out of consciousness for only two days and no one had even proposed the idea that he try to come today. But he'd overheard enough and once everyone abandoned their vigil to attend the funeral, he'd made his escape.

He was in a lot of pain by now, but it was muted somehow, not nearly as bad as it should be. Steve hadn't bothered to pick up any of his prescriptions. But he felt so numb that it almost didn't matter. He'd wanted as much time alone with Grace as possible, but he supposed that time was up now.

He made to stand and quickly realized that he couldn't. His limbs were stiff and sore and as he tried a second time he felt a hand on his good arm. Chin was by his side, helping him up. Steve thought back to just over two weeks ago, when Chin and Danny had both helped him to stand and led him out of Wo Fat's torture chamber.

This was far worse. He felt more pain and loss now than he had ever thought possible. What Wo Fat had done was nothing compared to this sadistic cruelty. This torture would never end.

The trio of remaining teammates surrounded their broken leader as they walked slowly to Lou's SUV.

No words were spoken. None were needed. They were all grieving and the air was thick with it.

Steve took one last look at the colorful mound of fresh dirt as Lou slowly pulled away.

They arrived at Steve's house in what felt like the blink of an eye. Chin got out with him and walked him to the door. As he let himself in, he stopped in the doorway and gave Chin a look. Although their silent communication had never been on par with that of Danny and Steve, Chin got the hint and gave him a gentle pat on the back.

"One of us will be by tomorrow. Call if you need anything."

Steve just nodded in response, too exhausted for words. He walked into his house and closed the door behind him.

The last thing he was expecting was a fist to the face.

"You son of a bitch! How dare you go visit Gracie without saying anything to me!"

As Steve recovered from the unexpected hit and found his balance he said the only thing that he could think of, the words that had been playing over and over in his mind since he'd woken up and been given the horrible news. "I'm sorry, Danny. I'm so, so sorry!"

Steve's words came out as a whisper despite the intensity and anger that had settled like a fog in the dark room. It took Steve another second to realize that there was another unexpected scent in the room, alcohol. Danny reeked of it.

"Oh, you're sorry!? Is that supposed to make me feel better!? It that supposed to bring my daughter back you worthless piece of shit!?"

Steve thought about opening the door and calling for Chin but wasn't given the chance as Danny's fist came once again out of the darkness. This time he aimed lower and caught Steve in his still healing ribs. He went down with a gasp, all thoughts of yelling for help lost with the breath that he wouldn't recover for almost a minute.

Steve had become accustomed to the darkness and reliance on his hearing in the bunker with Santos, so he could tell that Danny was pacing angrily across the wood floor. His gait was unsteady and his footfalls were heavy. But they could still barely be heard over his constant yelling of obscenities at his former best friend and partner.

"Danny," Steve called out once he had enough air in his lungs. "Danny, you're really drunk. Let's just sleep this off and talk about it in the morning, huh?"

Apparently it was the wrong thing to say. But Steve didn't really believe there was a right thing to say either.

"Just sleep it off, huh? That's what you want me to do? Just sleep off my daughter's death, pretend it never happened!? That would be so perfect for you, wouldn't it! You'd love that, wouldn't you! You might be able to pretend it never happened! Lock it up with all of the other horrible murders you've committed! Hell, you probably enjoy it by now you sick bastard!"

Danny didn't stop there. He kept raging but Steve could barely stand to listen anymore. It was Danny saying these things, and yet it wasn't. Danny would never…but that was before.

Before Steve killed Grace.

Everyone told him it wasn't his fault, and while he heard the words and knew them to be the truth, believing it was another thing entirely. He could say it all he wanted, but Steve would never feel that way. He would always feel responsible. Until the day he died.

"It's my fault, Danny."

Steve's words were so quiet that he didn't think Danny heard them at first. But they must have slowly penetrated his fogged mind.

He had a moment's notice before Danny's foot connected once again with his ribs. He was on the floor now with Danny hovering over him. Grace would be appalled at the state of his dress whites now.

"Say it again!" Danny shouted.

Steve grabbed a shaky breath and repeated, "It's MY fault, Danny."

The fists started raining down on him them with more force than before. Steve's confession seemed to spur Danny on, and he didn't feel inclined to defend himself.

He deserved this. He'd been waiting for it. He welcomed it.

"Say it again! SAY IT AGAIN!" Danny continually shouted.

"IT'S MY FAULT THAT GRACE IS DEAD!" Steve screamed.

The shout seemed to scare Danny out of his rage. But the reprieve only lasted a brief second. In the dim light that Steve's eyes had finally adjusted to he saw his former partner's face contort in pure rage and helpless grief and a second later Steve was seeing stars as his face was smashed once again.

He was losing the battle to stay conscious. Danny might kill him in his own home. He felt his nose crack and blood came pouring out. With the last bit of air in his lungs he kept repeating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" hoping that Danny would forgive himself for this one day.

Just when he thought it was all over he saw a bright white light appear…

And he welcomed it.

But instead of peace the light only brought more pain and confusion.

"Ah, are you back with us, Capitán?"

Steve's chin rested against his chest and he felt blood and tears flowing in a waterfall down his face.

"Wha-" he choked on a sob as he squeezed his eyes shut against the migraine in his head. It was only compounded by the soreness of his face, jaw and nose.

And his heart.

Steve!

"Ahhhh!" he cried out in pain. Pain in his head. Pain in his mind. Pain everywhere. He had no idea what was going on. His chin was roughly grabbed and his head forced upright. If it weren't for the bruising grip on his chin, his head felt like it would roll right off onto the ground. It didn't even feel attached to his body. Steve didn't feel like he had a body.

"You are suffering now, yes? You say that it is your fault that little Grace is dead, Capitán?" It was Santos' hand holding up his head. Santos' voice full of sadistic glee. "I regret to inform you that this is true, my men have just reported to me."

He's lying, Steve! STEVE! Listen to me, buddy! He's lying! Don't believe him! We don't know that it's true! Don't-

Steve cut off Danny's voice. It hurt too much to hear it right now, to be reminded of the pain that he'd caused. It cut him like a knife. He deserved whatever Santos was doing to him.

Danny had told him his mission was to survive and be there for his ohana. Danny and Grace. If Grace wasn't there anymore, if he couldn't see her smiling face ever again, what was he fighting for? For Danny? Who would hate him forever and never want to speak to him again?

He had caused this.

He deserved it.

His muddled mind and confused thoughts swirled around in his head, but one thing that he clearly remembered was Grace's death, the memory spurred on by Santos' confirmation. He heard Danny screaming at him somewhere deep in his mind and recalled all the horrible things Danny had shouted as he beat Steve almost to death.

He remembered it all, and he hated himself for it. But he couldn't escape the pain.

He was tied up. The hood over his head was soaked in blood and he choked on the smell, gagging against it. But his stomach had nothing to bring up. His head hurt so badly that he couldn't think straight, could only put one coherent thought together; Grace was dead.

Grace was dead!

Gracie was gone.

And it was his fault.

Danny screamed and raged in the background endlessly, trying to escape into Steve's mind. But he wouldn't let him, he couldn't take that abuse again. Steve was in enough pain.

Maybe Santos was talking to him. He was so numb that he didn't register anything around him. He could still have been of the receiving end of a right hook and mightn't have noticed.

When the hand supporting his chin finally released him, his head sank down to his chest... and his heart plummeted further.

He began to sob. It was quiet, almost gentle at first. But once he gave in, he gave into his grief completely. He stopped trying to hold it in. He cried harder.

For all of the pain he had caused.

For Grace, for her Danno, for his Danno, for his own guilt that made him want to die.

He didn't even register first the shocked intake of breath and then the gleeful laughter from his tormentor.

He no longer had the willpower to fight Danny from breaking out into his mind to heap more abuse on him. He couldn't find the strength to care either as he sobbed and welcomed the pain that he deserved, the pain that Danny's voice would bring. He sobbed until he was completely exhausted, tear tracks chasing lines down his blood-stained face, his grief attempting to cleanse the physical evidence of his pain.

And Danny broke free.

STEVE!

But it was too late. Steve was already unconscious and his partner's pleas fell on deaf ears.

...

TBC…

Well…

I'll leave you there for a bit until the next chapter... Check back on the weekend.

Warning/spoiler for this chapter/this should help keep your heart rate in check: No one has actually died! …yet ;)