Title: Mortem Cantor: Behind the Shield
Summary: It was a good thing the new scientist, Dr. Harry Evans, was working out so well. Because nothing else was going Fury's way. And that was before Loki made off with the Tesseract and some of his people. Maybe AU to Mortem Cantor by Kyandua.
Characters: Nicholas Fury, Harry Potter
Rating: T for Fury's language, lots of it
Disclaimer: Merely borrowing the characters and plot lines. The Harry Potter series belongs to J. K. Rowling. The Marvel Cinematic Universe (Avengers, Thor, Ironman, Hulk, Captain America, etc) belong to Marvel. Mortem Cantor (excluding parts that belong to the Harry Potter or Marvel Cinematic Series) belongs to Kyandua. You'll also find occasional references to other movies, which belong to their respective owners.
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Chapter 6: The Tesseract Incident
[Companion to Mortem Cantor Chapters 12 and 13]
"Dr. Evans isn't dead." was the first thing out of Agent Hill's mouth as she entered Fury's office for their hourly touch-base meeting. They'd had several since Loki'd stolen the Tesseract.
Evans' survival wasn't completely unexpected. Fury had seen Evans blasted away by Loki's staff. (Thank God Loki hadn't decided to enslave Evans instead. Losing Barton and Dr. Selvig was dangerous enough. But Evans looked deceptively young and was probably assumed to be unimportant by the Norse god. The only good thing to come out of that incident. Fury's survival didn't count because it meant he was stuck dealing with this Clusterfuck.) And he was pretty sure the scientist hadn't gotten out before the building was turned into a crater. If Evans could survive Tesseract-induced-electrocution, surviving the much-less-powerful-staff wasn't too much of a stretch. And apparently he couldn't be crushed either even when unconscious, which was a good sign for a potential teammate of the Hulk.
"Injuries?"
"A concussion. No other injuries. Not so much as a bruise." Odd that he could get a black eye from a punch, but not so much as a bruise from a fallen building. "And he went into shock. Apparently he burst into FBI Headquarters demanding to know where you were and what happened to everyone else, and passed out." Reckless. Announcing he'd survived something that should have killed him (again) and prioritizing the status of Fury and the others on the Tesseract project over his own health and safety. Fury would blame Evans' stupidity on the concussion, but the thwarted assassination and The Spork Incident (it deserved to be Capitalized) told him otherwise. Evans was just that crazy.
"Do we know how he got out?"
"No sir. The CCTV doesn't show him leaving the blast site. I have Agent Stratton tracing his steps to FBI HQ, but it looks like he was coming from somewhere in the city center instead."
"So you think he teleported?"
"It's a possibility, sir. Alternatively, if he had super-strength, he could have dug his way to the sewer system, which wouldn't explain how he kept himself dry and not reeking like the sewer. Intangibility's another more likely possibility. Or perhaps he has an ally who got him out."
"An ally as in another crazy superhuman we don't know about? You're a regular ray of sunshine, Hill." Fury didn't want to think about it. Ironman. Thor. Loki. Thor's Asgardian friends. Captain America. Evans. There were too many super-humans suddenly popping up this past year. "What's his current condition?"
"He's expected to wake up anytime. They stabilized his shock. It'll be a few days before he's completely recovered."
"I doubt a concussion will keep him down that long. I want you at the hospital. See if you can't get a blood sample before he wakes up, while you're at it. And don't spook him. You can check on the other wounded agents, too, while you're there."
"Sir, surely I would still be of more use here."
"If you insist, Agent Hill. I've got a videoconference with the World Security Council in half an hour. They're going to want an explanation of how the Tesseract was stolen and why several of our agents and scientists have been turned into Loki's puppets. Then after answering all their questions, I need to convince them to support my plans for dealing with the situation. You're more than welcome to join me. It shouldn't take longer than, oh say six, maybe eight, hours."
"...I'll be at the hospital, sir."
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"What now, Agent Romanoff?"
"The other agents seem to believe Agent Hill is your second wife."
Fury would have been perfectly content to not know about this. But Romanova had perfected passive-aggressive under the master, Phillip Coulson. Apparently she was still upset over the assignment as Tony Stark's personal assistant even after she'd gotten to stab Stark with a needle. "And what caused this?"
"She's the only woman you spend considerable time with. General consensus is you wouldn't marry a civilian... And Hill sat at your step-son's side in the hospital until he woke up."
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"So the latest rumor is-"
"For the love of fuck, Romanoff! Don't you have anything better to do than listen to rumors and waste my time repeating them?"
The redhead paused, then looked slightly contrite. "I'm sorry, sir. I keep thinking about Barton." Were those tears? "I think I've been copying his mannerisms as a means of coping."
She. Was. Not. "Wait, Romanoff." Fury called gruffly, to stop her from leaving his office crying. "I realize the situation is difficult for you." Trying to emotionally blackmail him. The hell that would work on him. She should know better. "So feel free to convince everyone I made you cry. But be warned, I will retaliate by informing the Psych Department that you randomly burst into tears into my office. I'd hate to have to remove you from this mission because they benched you. So drop the goddamn act.."
"Yes, sir." And the crying miraculously stopped.
Fury was tempted to dismiss her. Anything else would probably be seen as weakness. But as far as revenge for Stark-babysitting went, listening to a few disturbing rumors was rather tame. (Coulson had done far worse.) So he should probably let her get away with it for a little longer (until they got Barton back). And hope he didn't regret it too much. "What do the rumors say now?"
Romanova perked up again, like Barton did when he was pulling pranks. "So word got out that Evans' scar lit up under the Gamma Radiation Reader, and about how Evans said his father was a scientist who'd been fiddling with gamma radiation and how it exploded in his face."
Fury knew where this was going. "They think Dr. Banner is his father?"
"Yes, sir." Romanova replied chirpily. Romanova-as-Barton was disturbing. Hopefully it'd stop when they got Barton back. If Barton copied her and became Barton-as-Romanova, he was going to shoot them both. And Coulson for good measure. "The records of the Hulk's creation even indicate that a civilian breached containment and that Banner went in to rescue him.
"It also explains how he survived poking at the Tesseract and having the building dropped on him. He has Hulk's indestructability, even if he doesn't actually transform."
Some of the smartest people he knew were also some of the dumbest. That, or Romanova was just making shit up now. Which he wouldn't put past her. Fury would simply inform Agent Hill of the rumors about her love life. That should put a stop to all this bullshit.
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He had clearly underestimated his opponents, Fury fumed as Romanova skipped skipped into his office to apprise him of the latest rumors. Agent Hill had put forth a valiant effort. All of the main gossips in S.H.I.E.L.D. flinched whenever they saw her. So did most of the other agents, for that matter.
According to Romanova, Hill's threats hadn't actually changed anyone's mind. Fury, Hill, Evans, and Banner were still part of some (completely fictional) messed-up secret family tree. And Hill's vehement protests were clearly made because she was worried about her son's safety if he was associated with his step-father or father. And Fury himself was concerned that Banner would steal his step-son away, because apparently, Banner didn't remember he had a son.
Because, you know, he didn't have one. This was ridiculous!
Romanova was smart enough to see herself out. Because while Fury wouldn't shoot the messenger, he had no qualms about yelling at them and assigning them nasty missions. It would be difficult to find something worse than babysitting Stark. But not impossible. Oh no, not impossible.