Right after making love, they fell asleep next to each other, cuddling like a couple that's been together for years. Again, it felt right. He was holding her, with one arm under her head, which she was using as a pillow and the other around her waist. She was curled up in ball, fitting perfectly in his not-so-curled-up position. One of her hands was holding the one he had on her waist, while the other one was stretched out. She had set her alarm to go off at 8:45 am, thinking she would've gotten a full-night sleep by then. Truth is, after what happened that night she only got a little more than two hours of sleep.
Her alarm woke them both up. As exhausted as she was, she sat up and looked at a sleepy Tony. He had his eyes still closed but was awake enough to tell her to go back to sleep. She grabbed from the floor the OSU t-shirt she'd worn briefly just a few hours ago and put it on, while she tossed Tony his underwear for him to put on.
"I am sorry I woke you, Tony. I forgot about my alarm" She still had a sluggish voice.
"It's alright. I can go back to sleep later. Director Shepard gave us the day off, so…" he still refused to open his eyes, something Ziva found extremely cute. "Stay a little longer, c'mon…"
"I can't, Tony. My flight leaves at three and I have to be at the airport at noon. It's almost nine and I have to shower, pick up my things from the hotel and report to the Embassy. I won't make it if I stay. I'm sorry…." She wanted to stay and just be with him.
"Alright. Just give me a minute to get dressed and I'll come with you to the airport…. If that's ok with you"
"Sure. I'm going to take a shower, so I'll be ready in about an hour. Will you wait?" Ziva asked, not sure if he really wanted to come with her or was just being nice.
"Yeah, I'll wait…." Apparently, he wanted to come.
Ziva was a bit confused about what had happened and all the feelings that had been unburied. She knew sleeping with an American agent was a mistake and she thought the morning after would be filled with awkwardness and trying to get out of there as soon as possible without exchanging a single word with this beautiful human being. Beautiful in every way, she thought. But things weren't as she'd expected. It was as if this was one of the hundreds of mornings they'd shared together. And, frankly, she didn't want it to end.
After she got out of the shower, she followed the smell of coffee to the kitchen. Tony's kitchen was mainly white with black and silver appliances, the classis single man's kitchen. He barely had a pan and a kettle, not really much food lying around and even less in the fridge. They shared a cup of coffee, talking about anything except what had happened the night before, because as great as it had been for both of them, it still was an uncomfortable thing to talk about.
"Great coffee, thanks"
"You're welcome. You're going to stop at your hotel first, right?"
"Uhm… Yeah. I have to pick up my bag and then I'll head to the airport. You still want to come? She didn't want him to feel forced.
"Yeah"
"Why?" After all that'd happened, she didn't understand why he would want to say goodbye. She wasn't used to it, people usually walked away.
"Why?" He was surprised by her question and a little offended. "Because I asked you and you said it was ok… Do you not want me to come?"
"No, I do…. It's just… After what Ari did I wasn't expecting you to be so nice. No one's ever been so kind to me after finding out the kind of person I am and what I do for a living" Ziva was a strong, confident woman but when it came to people loving her or caring for her, her self-esteem dropped to the floor.
"I know what you do. You're a trained assassin; you kill people for a living. And before last night, I thought that's what you were, too. I thought that's all you were. But I was wrong. You're a sweet, sensitive person who's probably been through hell and whose father couldn't have been of much help when you tried to get back up after a fall" He was being as honest as he could be.
"Thank you" She looked at him and showed him a sad smile. Few people would've been nice to her in a situation like this.
On their way to her hotel, with him driving her rented car, Ziva contemplated on telling Tony the truth about Ari's death. Given the amount of trust they had developed in one night, she was almost certain he wouldn't say anything if she were to tell him what had really happened. She couldn't take the chance of telling him and then one day, if he was angry enough, having him report it to his director or worse, her father. Once at her hotel, they both went up to her room to get her bags. That's when the truth just came out of her mouth. Like a criminal confessing her crime out of guilt. Like a person confessing her sin to a priest and expecting forgiveness.
"Tony…. I need to tell you something. Something that might make you regret sleeping with me last night…" She sounded hesitant, and he looked scared of what she might have to say….
"What's going on? You sound dead serious"
"Promise me you won't tell anyone…." She was begging him to keep her secret.
"I promise" He had no idea what was coming.
"When Gibbs shot Ari, I… I was in his house. I was Gibbs' backup. Ari wanted to shoot Gibbs and make it look like he'd killed himself. But I stopped him. I… uh… I had to kill him…" Ziva wasn't looking at him, but when she finally looked up, she saw disbelief, confusion and disappointment in his eyes. It broke her heart.
"You… You killed your own brother…" He was trying to process what had just come out of her mouth.
"Yes" She practically cut him off.
"… To protect someone you'd known for a day?"
"Yes. I guess you can put it that way. I'm really sorry." She was so nervous and scared of his reaction that she was shaking a bit.
"I don't know how to feel about that. On one hand, you killed your own brother. What kind of person does that? But on the other, you saved the live of someone who was a complete stranger to you…" Tony started pacing around the room, trying to figure out whether he should feel angry and pissed off or a bit proud for such a big act of selflessness.
"I just couldn't let Ari hurt more people than he already had. It is better for one person to suffer the loss of a loved one than for entire families. I don't know if what I did was right or wrong, all I know is that I chose to be that person" She was surprisingly calm.
Pride. That's what Tony felt about what she'd done. He was proud. He didn't know how to say what he was feeling, so he got close to her. Dangerously close. Close enough to make her heart start racing, not knowing if he was going to hurt her or not. She took a step back, just in case, but Tony reacted and grabbed her arm. She couldn't tell what he was feeling until he leaned in and got even closer to her face. Her heart skipped a beat. His was beating twice as fast. Looking right into her eyes, he kissed her gently, letting her know how he felt without saying a word. She was taken aback, thinking this is not what she expected him to do, not that she was complaining. Because she wasn't; in fact, she found herself kissing him back.
"Wow… Uhm… I didn't see that coming…." That was Ziva's reaction when they broke apart.
"Yeah… Me neither… Sorry" Tony was a little embarrassed.
"Don't be, it's ok. I'll go to the bathroom and then we can leave for the airport, ok?" She smiled at him, trying to not make the situation more awkward than it already was.
"Alright. I'll be here" he smiled back at her.
While she was in the bathroom, he couldn't stop thinking about her and the night they'd spent together. He knew she was vulnerable and sensitive and might need someone to talk to at some point, so he took out one of his NCIS cards from his wallet and wrote his phone number and email on the back and slipped it into her jacket. A couple of minutes later, Ziva came out of the bathroom and they set off for the airport, thinking they'd never see each other again.