By the time Ryan and Esposito stumbled into the precinct's elevator, they were an hour and a half late to work. They overslept after a Madden tournament that leaked into the early morning hours. This would be the third time they were late since they started sharing Esposito's apartment. You could only blame traffic so many times.

"Man," Esposito rubbed his eyes tiredly, "Beckett's going to kill us."

Ryan's eyes were closed as he tried to fix his tie. "I feel like I just fell asleep. Not to mention this pounding headache." Which was true; after two 6 packs of beer they finally shut off the X-Box at 6 in the morning.

"Next time, Madden doesn't exceed 3 am and beer is limited to two each." Esposito grumbled, "Let's just hope we're at our desks today because I am not chasing down any perps."

The beep signalling their floor caused Ryan to groan unhappily. "Here we go." He pushed himself off the wall. "Hopefully Beckett's busy and we can sneak in."

Right as the doors opened and they stepped through, their boss was glaring at them with her arms crossed. "I'm glad you could join us, boys."

Esposito and Ryan stopped in their tracks. Esposito cleared his throat, "Uh, Beckett we can explain. You know, that damn traffic." He laughed weakly.

"Uh-huh, and it had nothing to do with you two still on X-Box all night?"

"We weren't on-"

"Shut up, Ryan. Next time you two wanna play Madden until the sun comes back up, make sure I can't tell when you're playing just by logging onto Castle's account." She rolled her eyes, "Next time you're late because you girls were having a slumber party I will break your X-Box. Are we clear?"

"Yes."

"Yeah."

Ryan and Esposito sighed and threw a look at Castle who was cowering nervously behind Beckett, "I'm sorry, guys, I didn't know she checked. Really!"

Esposito narrowed his eyes, but turned away from the writer, "C'mon, Ry, let's go finish our paperwork. And figure how to kill a writer without getting caught."

Ryan nodded, "Coffee first. Then the writer."

Castle jumped from his seat next to Beckett's, "Coffee? I'll just run to the break room and grab you a cup, Ryan." He smiled and turned to Espo, "You too, 'Sito. Be right back."

Ryan and Esposito shared a victorious smile and fed the birds before slumping into the chairs waiting for Castle to come back with their coffees.

Ryan took another sip of his beer as they waited for the next round to begin in their video game. He knew by looking at the time that this would be their last game so they would wake up in the morning. They didn't want Beckett to break Esposito's X-Box.

Today would mark two full weeks since Ryan started his break on the case. Esposito never would have thought that Ryan would make it this long without caving back to 3XK. He was slowly, but surely getting better.

Ryan went to sleep on time, sometimes before Esposito (when they weren't up all night playing Madden. He ate dinner and even helped cook when Esposito pulled out the Spanish recipes. And slowly Ryan started to look alive again; his skin was no longer able to challenge a ghost's complexion and his eyes were practically glowing compared to how dead they had been.

Ryan figured now would be as good as time as any to say, "You know, Espo, I was thinking of heading back to my apartment soon. It's been over a 3 months since Tyson and I doubt he's stalking my apartment still."

Esposito turned his attention away from the tv, "What are you talking about, bro? You don't like staying with me?"

Ryan quickly shook his head, "It's not that, Javi. I just don't want to keep taking up half your bed, eating all your food. It's not fair."

Esposito paused the game now that it was loaded, "I don't mind, bro."

Ryan smiled, "I can't keep living off of you, Espo." He repeated, "It's not fair."

"You think it's not fair to me, but I could care less. You're safe here and you're good company." Esposito shrugged his shoulders, not wanting Ryan to leave just yet.

"I'm not a baby, Esposito. I can take care of myself, you know." Ryan huffed with a roll of his eyes.

"This is a serial killer; he's not going to give up that easy." He sighed deeply, "That night, when I saw you unconscious on the ground with blood on your forehead…" He squeezed his eyes shut. "I thought you were gone and I swear my heart stopped beating."

Ryan tried to lighten the mood with a joke, "Aw, Espo, you care."

But Espo didn't laugh or brush off his worrying with a blush, "Of course I do, Kevin. So yeah, I don't want you to go until Jerry Tyson is put away or dead. I can't go through something like that again." He sucked in a deep breath, "You're my partner, until the wheels fall off. And those wheels aren't going to fall off because you didn't want to kick me out of my bed. You're my partner and I lo-" Espo quickly shut his mouth, realizing he was about to say something he didn't want Ryan to know.

"What?" Ryan's eyes widened because he was he was fairly certain Esposito was about to say 'love'.

Espo's eyes met Ryan's and said, "I said, you're my partner."

Ryan stayed silent; they both knew he said something else. But neither were willing to talk about it first. Esposito took in Ryan's still shocked expression and cleared his throat, "I'm gonna head to bed...just shut everything off in here when you're done." He ended in a mumble as he pushed himself off the couch and hurried into his bedroom.

Ryan watched his partner disappear into the hallway and sighed. He messed up big time. He shouldn't have brought it up. But, more importantly he shouldn't have sat there like an idiot when Esposito was about to say "I love you". He should have said it for him. Esposito isn't good at all those feelings crap; that was more Ryan's department.

But love wasn't easy to say. Sure, deep down Ryan knew he was in love with his partner. But he wasn't sure he was ready for Esposito to know...well he wasn't sure before this night at least.

He must have lost control of his limbs halfway through his thoughts because he suddenly found himself outside Esposito's bedroom door. He blinked a few times asking himself if this is what he really wanted. If this was the right thing. The way that his heart started beating faster and faster at the thought of him and Javi both feeling the same gave him the courage to open the door.

He saw Esposito laying on top of the blankets with his clothes still on, staring at the wall. "Espo…?" He called softly from the doorway.

Esposito didn't say anything, he only moved closer to his side to give Ryan some space to lay. Ryan sighed at his silence, but moved forward and laid down next Esposito. "Javi, about before-"

Now Esposito rolled over and started to apologize to Ryan, "I know, Ryan. I'm sorry...I didn't mean it like...just ignore me, okay? You can go back to your apartment if you want. I just didn't want you to leave so soon and-"

As Esposito kept talking, Ryan surged forward and before Esposito could finish that sentence, Ryan smashed his lips onto Esposito's. It wasn't like any of the first kisses described in books; it was rough and filled with teeth.

Esposito pulled back first, his eyes wide looking into Ryan's big blue eyes, "What are you doing?"

"What you can't." Ryan whispered before he leaned in for another kiss. This time Esposito was ready and caught his lips in a much more enjoyable kiss. Their lips moved in sync and Esposito even found himself moaning into Ryan's mouth.

That thought set his mind back on track and realized he was kissing his best friend. His partner was shoving his tongue into his mouth between their hungry kisses and the crazy part was that Espo didn't care.

When Ryan pulled away for a breath, Espo whispered, "We're drunk, Ryan." Please don't be drunk.

He met Ryan's eyes and the Irishman whispered, "I'm not drunk."

Esposito laughed, "Neither am I."

"Good," Ryan said with a suggestive growl and pushed Esposito backwards until he was flush with his mattress. "Because I want us to remember this in the morning."

The soft sun bleeding through his window woke up Esposito the next morning. A happy sigh escaped him when he felt Ryan was still curled up in his arms.

Esposito closed his eyes with a soft smile, memories of last night happily filling his mind. The kisses, the breathless whispers and touching. He could still hear Ryan chanting his name over and over like Espo had just given him the secret to world peace as he released.

Esposito wanted that all over again every single night. He wanted Ryan to be his. Forever.

Not that he wanted Ryan to leave his arms or even stop the soft puffs of air he was blowing onto his bare chest from his snores, but Esposito knew that if they didn't hurry up soon they'd be late for work- again.

He ran his fingers softly up and down Ryan's back and placed a small kiss to the top of his head. He didn't say a word, but in a few moments Ryan was awake and smiling tiredly up at Esposito.

"G'morning, Javi." He mumbled sleepily into his chest. "How was your sleep?"

Esposito grinned, "Not as good as what I was doing just before I fell asleep, but I think this was the best night of sleep I've had."

Ryan smiled when he heard that last night wasn't just a mistake and he actually wanted to continue with whatever they were. "I was...I was okay?"

"You were perfect, Kevin." Esposito said easily with another kiss to the top of his head.

Ryan blushed, "So you'd like to do that again?"

Esposito smiled at how bashful he sounded, "You seemed much more confident last night."

Ryan turned his body and raised himself off Esposito's chest, "Are you avoiding the question?"

Esposito rolled his eyes, "I'd love to do that for the rest of my life." He said as he kissed the corner of Ryan's cheeky grin.

After a few hesitant moments, Ryan pulled himself off of Espo and pulled on his underwear that was lying on the ground. Espo laughed when Ryan straightened out his body and then gave Espo a self conscious, confused look.

"I hope it's cold enough for a turtle-neck today." He motioned to Ryan's neck. Ryan immediately looked down and saw a large bruise sucked onto his neck courtesy of his partner.

"Really, Javi?" Ryan groaned, but Esposito knew he wasn't really upset. "I'll have to borrow one of your scarves."

Esposito slipped on his own underwear and stumbled out of bed, "Maybe if you say please."

Ryan attached himself to Espo's arm and showered his cheek with kisses, "Does that count?"

Esposito smiled as they walked out into the kitchen, "Maybe."

That morning when they walked into work, Ryan could practically feel everybody's eyes on him. "Javi," He whispered, "Do you think they know?" He tugged on the red scarf around his neck.

Espo glanced at him quickly, "If you keep tugging on that, then yes."

Ryan grunted, but quickly pulled his hands away as they approached Castle and Beckett. The writer grinned with a whistle, "Hey, look they're on time today."

Esposito rolled his eyes because they weren't late that often recently. Writers just tend to hyperbolize things. "Wow, you're actually annoying me before 9 o'clock in the morning...oh wait that's nothing new."

"But you know what else is new? This." Castle smirked and tugged on Ryan's-sorry, Esposito's-scarf.

Ryan paled ever so slightly and swatted Castle's hand, "Cold." Was all he said. Castle shook his head with a laugh.

Through out the rest of the day, Castle continued to tease Ryan about his 'shivers' in the middle of spring. Halfway through the afternoon, Castle slipped out of the precinct and Ryan was glad for that until he came back with a bag.

"Oh Ryan!" He called as he exited the elevator waving the plastic bag in the air. When he was just behind Ryan, he pulled a red bundle from the bag and pulled it onto Ryan's head. "It's a hat to match you scarf. We don't want your ears to get cold."

As Ryan grumbled and he cheeks grew red enough to match his scarf and new hat, Beckett pulled Esposito over to the side. "Espo, what did you do with him last night?"

Esposito's heart sunk, how the hell did she figure it out already?, but he decided to play innocent until proven guilty, "What are you talking about?"

Beckett rolled her eyes, "Have you seen him? I haven't seen him smiling like this since before Tyson. Whatever happened last night really worked- I could tell the minute you stepped through the bullpen."

Esposito looked over at his partner smiled when he saw him laughing with a wide smile as Castle said something. Beckett was right, Ryan hadn't been smiling like that recently. It was nice to have him happy again. "I have missed that smile."

"Which is exactly why you need to keep up whatever you did last night. I don't care if you made cookies and watched The Breakfast Club. Just keep him smiling."

Esposito laughed and looked back at his partner (who had yet to remove the hat) and nodded, "Believe me, I will."

The next few days were bliss with falling asleep and waking up in each other's arms. With their new relationship, Ryan's persistence at the case slowly died down. Something they were all grateful for.

Although neither had the backbone to say those three words yet, it was obvious they both loved each other more than anything. It was obvious before they got together; that's why they're were such great partners. They loved each other before they even realized.

It was a slow day so far in the precinct so it was time for the team to sort through and fill out paperwork. Esposito was next to Ryan distracting himself from his paperwork when they got the call.

The ringing of Beckett's phone interrupted Esposito's sentence, but when she picked it up he went right back into their conversation. "Wanna catch a movie Friday? There's a new Bruce Willis film I've been waiting to see."

To anyone else it sounded like two friends scheduling a movie night-it wouldn't be the first time that Ryan and Esposito planned movie nights in the bullpen, so it wouldn't raise any suspicion, but what Esposito really meant was movie and some dinner afterwards like an actual date.

"I'll have to check if I'm free. I'm very busy on weekends." Ryan teased with a grin.

Esposito poked his ribs once and sighed, "I guess I'll have to ask Castle to come instead."

Ryan raised his eyebrows, "Oh really? Then maybe you want to ask Castle to do that thing to your thing tonight, too."

Esposito laughed and was about to retort back when Beckett interrupted them, "Ryan? It's for you."

Ryan and Esposito shared confused glances before Ryan stood up to take the phone from her hand. "Hello?"

"Ah, Detective Ryan so nice to finally get the chance to speak to you again."

Ryan's blood ran cold, "Tyson." He growled and quickly followed Beckett's silent hand waving order to switch the phone to speaker. "What do you want?"

"The real issue is what you want, correct? Your badge, your wallet...your gun." Tyson went on though Ryan stayed quiet. "I have them if you want. I just hope you don't mind I used your gun." Ryan's heart stopped. "Few times at a range, of course. I'm not an animal." He paused, "Until this morning."

Ryan felt his heart racing faster as he prayed that Tyson was lying. He had to be lying. "What are you talking about?"

"Young girl, barely 25. She's was a beautiful young woman, but she got mixed in some stuff she should have stayed out of. There was a request to take her out; quick and easy. 'Course my usually motive is not so random or how this poor woman was killed. But, I remembered I had your piece lying around so I thought why the hell not."

"No." Ryan didn't know what else to say.

Tyson's laughter bellowed from the phone speakers, "Yes, Detective. She's dead and your gun was used. Don't worry though, I made sure to tell her that because some cop couldn't hold onto his gun she was being killed with it...pleasant last thoughts, no?

"Check the subway on 34th. Don't even bother tracing this phone, it'll be offline sooner than you can blink." The line went silent and the team thought Tyson hung up until he ended with a guilt ridden farewell, "Why did you stop, Detective? You had to have been looking. Were you even trying? You could've saved her." And then the phone line went dead.

Esposito was the first to speak up, "Bro, don't listen to him. You know he would've killed her with your gun or another. It's not your fault." He went to rest his hand on Ryan's arm, but he was shoved away.

"Don't." Ryan warned quietly.

"Kevin, what-"

"You're the one that made me stop! I would've still been looking and maybe found him if you hadn't...distracted me." He made sure to be careful about what he said them being in the precinct surrounded by detectives and officers. "She's dead...because of me."

"Kevin," Esposito shot him a look as he lowered his voice hoping that Ryan would do the same. "Stop. This isn't your fault. You calm down and we'll check this out. We can get him."

"So I'm supposed to stay here? While you three run off and save the day? Months ago I wanted to catch him, but you said it was impossible. Suddenly now it can be done?" Ryan lowered his voice at least so they didn't grab the entire bullpen's attention. Already, some detectives were throwing them concerned glances.

"Yes! Your ass is not leaving that chair until we come back. You're too close to this case-you know that." Esposito tried to close the distance between them, but Ryan pushed him away again.

"Ry, we'll go through anything they find here. Espo and Beckett will call." Castle offered, "I'll stay with him." He turned to Beckett and Esposito.

"No." Ryan said already grabbing his coat.

Esposito finally grabbed ahold of his arm, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Well since I'm already kicked off this case, I'm going home. You obviously don't need me. I'd just cause a bigger problem." Ryan sneered before yanking his arm from Esposito's grip and stomping to the elevator.

Esposito went to follow him, but Beckett grabbed his arm. "No, give him space. He's not going near that subway-I've already made sure the officers down there not to let him through. Besides, I don't think he'd try-he's going home."

Esposito heeved a sigh, "God, I'm such an idiot."

Beckett narrowed her eyes, "Why? Because you cared about him enough to make sure he didn't work himself to death with 3XK? If he kept up, he would be a wreck right now-physically and Tyson still would've killed this girl and Ryan would have taken it even worse."

Beckett softened her tone, "I don't know how you do it, but you get through to him, Espo. Just a few months ago he was like a zombie coming into work every morning with only dozens of cups a coffee to keep him awake. But then you did exactly what he said, you distracted him from all that mess and he slowly was back to being our Kevin Ryan.

"However you got through to him and however you helped, you're just going to have to do it again. When he's ready just help him through this new mess." Beckett said softly rubbing his arm, "Let's head down and see if we can pick up any clues to finding this prick and when we get back to the precinct you can call and check up on him."

Esposito sighed sadly and nodded in defeat, "You're right."

Ryan slammed the door to his apartment shut hard. His apartment wasn't that messy; there was a great deal of dusting needed but Ryan and Esposito had dropped in a few times here or there to keep everything else in order.

He kicked his shoes off, grumbling under his breath about how much of an asshole Esposito was. He should have let him continue searching 3XK.

He wasn't going to just sit around and do nothing when the team busted their asses to save the day. It was his gun after all. It was his fault. He shucked off his jacket and tie on his way to his bedroom. Underneath his bed he had secret copies of Tyson's files that he could look through, find connections he had to other possible hits. Ryan thought that Tyson only took care of people he wanted to, but if this girl he killed today was a hit there could be more.

Sighing he sat on his bed to unbutton his button up shirt and pull it off so he was comfortable in a t-shirt and his pants to spend the night searching through the files. He leaned over to pull out the cardboard box from under his bed...only to find it not there.

He could have sworn he left it there. It was there last week when Ryan and Esposito ran back to grab Ryan some more clothes. "What the hell?" He ran a hand through his hair growing worried when a sudden voice from the doorway startled him.

"Looking for something, Detective Ryan?"

Ryan lifted his head to see the last person he'd ever want to see leaning on his doorframe, Jerry Tyson.