Disclaimer: Nothing from Teen Titans is mine.
Not quite as citrusy, but still has some M rated stuff.
"Speech"
Dream text or telepathic speech
"Dream speech"
Alone...
Always alone. There's never anyone.
Well sure, they're there, but not really. It's always been like this, hasn't it?
Everything's dark. So dark. All I can see are a few faces, dancing around me, before they fade. I recognize them.
My parents. My two little brothers, my cousins and aunts and uncles... yes, I can see them. Crushed under the broken beams and shingles of my old home... most of my early life is a blur, but I remember that day clearly. Do I feel bad about it? Well...
I mean, I did well... kill them... sort of. I mean, I didn't mean to. But truthfully... I don't know. I care, but not that much. They never really meant much to me. I know, I know, it's a horrible thing to say, but it's true! I was always the freak, the outcast. The different one - and they treated me like it. Maybe I deserved it... guess I showed that I deserved it in the end, but I can't say that I cared that much since we were never really like a real family anyway. Well, they were. I wasn't.
Hasn't it always been like this? I was the odd one out in the HIVE too. I mean, the boys were okay sometimes, but in the end they were just a bunch of teenage boys. Immature, insensitive... stupid! Well, besides Kyd, but he never really talked or did anything so can't say much 'bout him. And Blood, ooh, fuck that guy. But he's gone now, at least. They're all gone, sort of. Their faces fade back into the darkness...
Same with the Titans? I don't know. They're gone too. Every one of them. I'm always alone-
Well... hmm. It's weird, you know? Raven came back, and I still can't figure out why... it just doesn't make sense! Why would she come back for me...
Wait, what was that? I saw something. There was some light somewhere. Where?
Over there! It's dim, but it's there. I wonder what it is. If I can move toward it... yeah, I can. It's getting closer...
Oh, what? That's Raven's room! Yeah, I remember this place. How couldn't I? She was always so protective of it 'n shit. Wouldn't let any of us in, not even old bird bitch. Well, besides me sometimes, which was really weird 'cause, well, why me?
"Why you?"
The hell? She's here!
"Why do you think?"
"I, uh..."
"Jinx..."
She's coming closer. What does she want - oh god, she's really close. Really, really close, oh god, she's... she's touching me?
"Why so shocked?"
"You - you never let people-"
"Well I'm the one doing the touching. Relax, Jinx, I'm not going to hurt you."
"But, but- but you never-"
"Shush. Your cheeks are so soft. And your lips..."
"The fuck-"
"Jinx-"
"This is so wrong."
"What is?"
"We're both girls!"
"So?"
"So... so..."
"Hmph."
Wait, she's getting up. Where's she going? Is she leaving? I didn't mean for-
"Relax, kitten. Sheesh, you're so jumpy sometimes."
"But-"
"Listen. You've been looking for understanding all your life. I know that. Don't even try to deny it. You crave something to quell that loneliness, but you don't want it to be some meaningless relationship either. People just pretending to be nice, pretending to be friends, all these falsities... the thrills of sneaking around, stealing things, getting away before you are caught, or fighting, either to protect, or maybe even destroy, all of these are only distractions.
The people who call themselves your friends, or partners in crime, or the ones who guard your back as you protect others, none of them really understand. It creates a bit of distance between you and them, since they cannot really know your thought process, what morals govern your actions, what really matters to you...
You feel alone because of it, but then again, look here."
She's here. She's here, and... well, Raven understands everything, doesn't she?
"It's not just that. We're the same in that regard. Flitting between what the others might commonly call good and evil. But really, we're just in that other place that most people consider a little... ambiguous. It's not really ambiguous, though. It's just who we are."
Who we are, huh. Who am I? Meh, never really bothered thinking about that. Just... I don't know. I just usually do what I feel, or maybe what other people tell me to do if I feel like it's okay. I mean, she has to realize it too. Justice, law, order, all of that crap... it's just a bunch of bullshit, really. You can't really say that that stuff is always right. So you kinda have to end up doing... what you feel is right. What do I feel is right..?
"Well, what do you feel?"
"I don't want to hurt people, but at the same time... I don't really believe in law and order, or any of that garbage. You know that, right?"
"Of course I know that."
"It's weird, you know."
"What is?"
"I've always wondered, if you knew that, why didn't you turn me in?"
"You think you deserve to be put in jail for believing that?"
"I'm kinda an anarchist here..."
"Not really, kitten. By now, you should realize, I don't care about those things either. I just act out of my own sense of morality. And you know why? Well, actually, I don't need to answer that. You already know."
Because you can't really follow something you don't believe in! If I don't believe in justice, I can't act based on it!
"So that brings me back to my original point. I understand the way you think. I feel the same way. Are you really going to shove me away just because I'm a girl?"
"I- I-"
It's not that I have a problem with her being a girl...
"Then why are you complaining?"
She's getting closer, she's - oh my god, she's kissing me. She's kissing me and she's touching me-
"R- mmpf-"
"What, you don't like it?"
"I-it's not that... it's... well, moaning is normal if you touch me like that, right?"
"Please. You were trying to say something."
"It's-"
"Oh, whatever. You can tell me later if you feel like it. Now, let's get these clothes off of you."
"But Raven- oh my god, nn- mmpf- hah-"
Holy shit, that feels sooo good. Oh my god, I didn't know a girl could feel like this just by having her nipples touched... and god, now she's using her mouth, and... mm, Rae, you've picked up some new tricks, haven't you?
"I have. Now, be a good girl and lift up your legs for me."
"Wha? Oh, but- but-"
"What's the matter?"
"But Rae, I forgot to shave and it's been a while and-"
"Silly girl. You just shaved yesterday. Don't you remember?"
I did? But when? I don't remember. I- oh right. That was when she was in my head, doing a bunch of stuff to me and watching me... watching me...
"You're blushing."
"I am? Shit, I am. It's uh... it's... well, you were watching yesterday and..."
"And? Calm down. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"Pff. Being naked in front of another girl- hell, getting myself off in front of another girl with her help isn't something to be embarrassed about?"
"Mmmm. Well it's fine if you're embarrassed. You're kind of cute that way."
"Rae, what the fuck!"
"Whaat?"
"You- you're acting weird!"
"Am I? Really now, haven't you learned? Sometimes - and only sometimes - I'm not exactly that predictable."
"But but- mmf- nngh-"
Oh, oh, oh, her tongue, my god, her tongue - damn, I can't even think of what to say to her! This is all so wrong, but it feels so good. It's-
"Though, you might want to keep your voice down. The others will hear you."
"Uhn... others?"
Others?
"Yeah. Robin's room is down the hall."
Robin. Robin... wait a sec, Robin's in Gotham, isn't he? And he's Nigthwing now. She wouldn't forget something like that. What's going on? What's - oh I get it now. I thought something was strange. This is a dream! This is a dream- it's-
"Shit!"
That was a dream. Fuck, it was a dream. I feel... ugh, I'm all sweaty and gross. And I feel... well, I don't know. It was such an awkward dream, and yet I feel... kind of disappointed? It would have been nice had it gone on longer, I guess.
Ugh. It's morning already? Sucks. Couple hours to do things before I have to go back to work... wait. What day is today? Isn't it... Saturday? Yeah! That means I have no work. Guess I can sleep in, mmm...
Wait, the fuck? Why do I feel like something's wet. Did I... did I like... wet the bed or something. No, doesn't smell like it.
It smells like...
Oh. Uh... well that's embarrassing. I didn't even know I could get that wet... fuck. Fuck, it feels hot down there. God, I'm turning into some sort of nympho or something. I've never been like this before. Not even when I was a teenager... I didn't feel the need to do this that much, and I certainly didn't have that kind of dream about anyone in particular... okay, maybe I did dream about Wally a bit, but not like that...
Fuck, I need to get myself off, but... is she watching me? I'm not gonna have a repeat of yesterday. That was... no. Not this soon, at least. But I-
Then I guess you'll just have to stay like that all day.
"Rae! F-"
By the way, I had no influence on that dream of yours. But I am curious as to why you were dreaming about me.
"I- well, I - uh... I don't really know... and hey, what the fuck!"
I'm not a liar. I actually had nothing to do with it.
"But- ugh. Where are you, anyway? I thought you couldn't do this unless you're close by."
Maybe I am close by.
"... creepy. Close enough to actually hear me talk?"
Maybe. You won't get a straight answer out of me. Not until a few more things happen, at least.
"A few things?"
You'll see. I'll pay you a visit later today, but for now, I have to go somewhere to get some supplies. So I'll leave you to your... whatever you wish to please yourself with in the time that I am gone.
"But I-"
Embarrassed, even though I won't even be there to watch? I didn't think you were that prudish, kitten. Now, before you say anything else, I'll give you my blessing. See ya later.
"You- mmm, nnn, hah-"
What was that? That felt- it was different. It wasn't like what she did to me yesterday. What's this feeling..?
"Raven? Raaavennn?"
...
Okay, I guess she really is gone. Does that mean I can... oh, fuck it. I'll just wait for later. Maybe a cold shower will calm me down. And I need to do laundry too...
"Blegh. Fuck you, Rae."
Screw it. I'm just goin' back to sleep. All that other shit can wait for later. Fuckin' Rae...