I think it's time for a serious one, don't you? I've been kind of random and uppity lately with these. Let's have one that's a little bit darker, and closer to the actual canon.

Thanks to those of you who reviewed last chapter! Enjoy!

#39 Design

Lucy's body was still and heavy. Her breathing had evened out, and she'd long ago lost feeling in her hands as they clutched tightly and unrelenting to the wrinkled sheet of paper between them. Water gathered at the corners of her half-lidded eyes, giving the periphery of her vision a washy vignette. She could feel the stale traces of tears on her cheekbones and jaw, even though they'd long since ceased falling.

Hours after receiving the news of her father's death, Lucy still wasn't sure how she should feel. She was overwhelmed, to say the least. She hadn't even time to settle the shock of waking up to a world seven years into the future when suddenly she was faced with the stark and glaring fact that she was now an orphan. What was she supposed to do with that knowledge? Sure, she'd been living on her own for a while. But that had been by choice. It was strange, now, to think that she had no other option—that the last of her family had gone while she was being somehow carried through time. Her immediate reaction had of course been sadness—though she and her father had had their differences, he'd made an effort before her journey to Tenrou Island to repair what remained of their relationship. She hadn't been ready at the time, but if she'd known it would be her last chance… Well… She wished she could have revisited that decision.

Now, though, later that evening, the void left by Lucy's dried tears was filled with a befuddling mix of emotions. Did she have the right to be sad, given the way she'd treated her father when they'd last met? Was this some sort of karma, the universe's way of getting back at her for her actions? If she'd tried to be a better daughter—not necessarily to be exactly the person her father wanted her to be, but at the very least to put more effort into restoring the bond they'd once had—would things have happened differently?

Lucy's hazy gaze dropped to the letter in her hand, the words bent and crinkled between her white fingers—the last words her father would ever give to her. Part of her was convinced that this was nothing but a vivid dream—a terrible illusion brought on by the dark power of the dragon Acnologia. Maybe she was dead, and this world was the hell she was doomed to for the rest of eternity.

She blinked and shook her head, her neck stiff from lack of movement. That was a tad overdramatic. It was bad, surely—in this new world, so many things had changed or disappeared. But to call it hell wasn't right. After all, she wasn't alone. The sound of the shower running in the bathroom of the hotel suite was evidence enough of that. If nothing else, Lucy still had her friends, which proved better than anything could that this was no dream. It was her new reality, and she had to accept it. Whether there'd been anything she could have done differently to change it or not.

As the sound of running water echoing dimly through the bathroom door suddenly quieted, Lucy let out a slow breath, her shoulders drooping and her legs pressing heavily against the comforter on which she sat. A resounding silence claimed the room, broken only by the soft snores of the blue cat sleeping soundly on the couch by the curtained window. Somehow, that only further widened the chasm between Lucy's old life and her new one, insisting upon the undeniable change that had taken place. Before, her life was never quiet. Now even that was different.

A ghostly pain twisted at Lucy's heart and she was glad for the distraction when the bathroom door opened and Natsu strode out, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist as he used another to shake the loose water from his hair. Ordinarily, she would have wasted no time in shrieking at him to get dressed before exiting the bathroom, but for whatever reason Lucy didn't mind this time. She was comfortable just having him nearby, clothed or otherwise. Besides, she had too much on her mind to be embarrassed by something so stupid.

"How you holding up?" he asked her lightly, though when she met his eyes the seriousness in them was palpable.

Lucy lifted a shoulder, trying and failing to smile. "I'll be okay," she replied. She knew it was true, but how long that might take was anyone's guess. "It's just... It's so much to take in. I wish there was…" She let her voice trail off as her eyes once again fell to the letter in her hands, tracing wrinkled words and phrases dotted with droplets of saltwater. …A long time…kept believing…meet again…always loved you. What did she wish, exactly? That she could turn back time? Fix what had been broken? Change the decisions she'd made? Or what if it didn't matter—if this had been her fate, her destiny, all along? That thought almost made her feel worse.

"Yeah, it's a mess, alright," Natsu agreed when Lucy didn't resume her statement. She watched him glance stoically toward the window, as though surveying their new world through the dark, heavy curtains blocking out the moonlight. "Doesn't feel real, this whole thing."

Lucy twisted sideways on her bed, pulling her legs up onto the mattress and crossing them beneath her. Her hands still tightly clutched the letter, unwilling to let it go as though it was her last lifeline to the time she'd left behind. Carefully, she breathed in slowly and inquired of her friend, "Can I ask you something?"

Natsu turned to look at her, pulling the towel from his head and draping it around his shoulders. "'Course," he answered simply.

Lucy took another slow breath, trying to loosen the knot in her chest. "Do you think… everything happens for a reason?"

Natsu's eyebrows drew together and he worked his jaw back and forth in thought. His dark eyes seemed to fix on Lucy's face, studying it as though trying to memorize her expression. Crossing his arms over his chest, he shook his head and stated shortly, "Nah. I think most of the time, life's pretty random. It throws curveballs and hurdles at you just for the hell of it, to watch you fail or to see if you got what it takes to keep your dukes up and fight back. It's not tryin' to punish you, or… teach you anything. It's just the way things are."

Lucy considered this, entertaining the idea that her current situation was only a freak chance, nothing that came about as a result of anything else. It did help to assuage her guilt, but her confusion seemed to spike instead. "But…" she muttered, staring at the carpet fibers. "Then how do I…?"

Natsu drew a hand through his damp hair, shaking it loose from his head. "It's kind of… in our nature to try to find meaning in all the bad stuff that happens," he said. "You know, to have a reason that makes it hurt less—somewhere to put the blame. Thing is, that doesn't really make it any easier." He sat down beside Lucy on the bed, his eyes trained absently on the door a few feet away from them. "The way I see it, life's gonna give you crap no matter what you do. Might as well take it for what it is and try not to dwell on it too much."

Lucy sighed, her fingers tightening on her father's letter as memories brushed the back of her consciousness. "I don't know if I can do that."

"Well, that's stupid."

Startled, Lucy looked up and frowned at Natsu, struck silent by the serious scowl on his face. She opened her mouth in soundless protest, but at once he went on, "Because I know you can. You're a tough chick, hard to keep down. You've already made it through a whole bunch of messed up stuff. Things might look bad now, but that doesn't mean they won't turn around tomorrow. We're Fairy Tail mages. There's nothing we can't handle."

He spoke so matter-of-factly, like he wasn't saying anything Lucy didn't already know, and with each word she felt her sorrow and uncertainty begin to fade. He was right—no matter how bleak things were, she had to believe that soon enough they would get better. She had to keep fighting, like she'd promised herself long ago. She knew that Natsu had experienced seemingly unbearable tragedy in his life as well, and if he could bounce back and remain the strong, optimistic person she knew him to be, then so could she.

A small smile finally stretched her lips as she pondered this, and she was barely aware of Natsu gripping her shoulder reassuringly as he stood up. Realizing he was no longer beside her, Lucy blinked and climbed off the bed, letting out a long breath as she set her father's letter on the nightstand, feeling a weight lift from her lungs as the feel of crumpled paper left her fingertips. Before Natsu could walk away, she turned and slid her arms around his chest, leaning into him and closing her eyes. A second passed before she felt him return the embrace, and as the cold left her skin she breathed a quiet, "Thank you."

"It's rough, I know," he said, a hand softly brushing her hair from her neck. "But you're not alone here. You've always got me. And the rest of the guild."

"Yeah," she agreed, her smile growing. "I do."

After another few seconds, Lucy's mind settled down enough for her to suddenly become very aware of Natsu's warm, bare skin against her arms and face. She swallowed uncomfortably, feeling blood rush into her cheeks and neck, and slowly pulled away from him, pushing his shoulders tentatively.

"You should, um… probably get dressed," she mumbled, averting her eyes to the carpet. His only response was a nonchalant chuckle as he started toward the opposite side of the room to do just that.

Turning her back, Lucy glanced down at the letter on the nightstand. With a soft, sad smile, she picked it up again, only to fold it as neatly as she could and slide it into the top drawer, hiding it from sight. The loss of her father had been so sudden and unexpected, drawing from her a feeling of empty loss she hadn't realized was possible before. But she was certain now that it didn't matter whether or not her past actions could have changed that outcome. It wasn't karma—wasn't the universe's way of getting back at her for the way she'd treated the man who'd raised her. Her life wasn't part of some grand design. It was random—sometimes wonderful and sometimes terrible. All she could do was deal with each extreme in the best way she could—to survive, as her father's letter had said, in whatever way she chose.

Feeling exhaustion tug at her eyelids, Lucy pulled back the blankets and climbed into the queen-sized bed she'd claimed that evening, noticing that Natsu had exchanged his towel for pants and was heading toward the other bed. Strangely cold all of a sudden, she spoke up, "Wait, would you mind if…? Um…" She shook her head and tried again, "I mean, would it be okay…?" Natsu cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, clearly not understanding Lucy's fragmented sentences. She sighed shortly, trying to force down the blush on her face, and nodded to the vacant side of her bed. She couldn't entirely keep the dregs of pained sadness from her voice when she whispered, "I just don't want to be alone."

Finally Natsu seemed to catch her meaning. He smiled, a familiar comfort in his eyes, and replied, "What'd I tell you? You're not alone. You'll always have me."

She returned his smile as he left the empty bed alone and instead dropped down on hers, not bothering to draw back the blankets and simply lying on his back atop them. Already Lucy felt the heat return to her chilly skin and bones, as though she was huddled beside a warm fire on a cold night. She had to admit she was a little embarrassed, but the comfort she experienced at having her best friend so close to her far outweighed that, and she felt relaxed as she laid her head against the pillow.

Lucy's life had been a rollercoaster lately, with a heck of a lot more downs than ups. But like Natsu had said, the next day could change everything for the better. All she had to do was stick it out. There was nothing Fairy Tail mages couldn't handle, after all.

Especially if they faced it together.

I can't resist fluff... even in more serious writing. It's just too cute and fun, haha.

So drop me a review on your way out, and enjoy life until next we meet! Later days!

-oMM