Desperately clawing at the rope around her neck... Her vision blurred by blood red spots... Hopeless, a slave to the unbearable pain that drew her ever close to death... And laughter... Someone laughing as she twisted and struggled and awaited the end, amused as the life slowly left her body...
Then he had come, from the gloom and despair, and freed her from the unrelenting noose- her knight in ripped up, bloodstained school clothes. His hands, so gentle after the roughness of the rope, carefully lifting her from that awful room, placing her in a much spacier area.
She had cried, tears of pain and relief, of sorrow and happiness, of hurt and comfort...
"I won't leave you..."
Naomi Nakashima lay in her room, still holding onto these words, that phrase, the only thing she had left. Her mind recalled that terrifying time in Heavenly Host, when she had gone completely deranged under the loss of her best friend, succumbing to the Darkening. When the spirits within her forced her to hang herself, like they commanded with Seiko, leaving her to die...
And Satoshi had rescued her. But there was no rescuing the once cheerful, bright eyed and slightly crazy Seiko Shinohara. She was lost forever.
Naomi would not cry, could not cry, was nothing more than an empty shell. Her only thoughts were of the deceased friends she had lost, of the awful atmosphere in Heavenly Host and of the gruesome bodies that littered those dreaded hallways...
"I won't leave you..."
Impaled by knives, ripped apart, smashed against walls, unknown and deadly illnesses, suicide, betrayal, cannibalism, organs spilt open and attracting flies, rope hanging from the ceiling with rotting bodies still barely attached, crushed by falling beams and such, starved, or dying from thirst. Corpses haunted her memory, dancing around like the taunting ghosts that had murdered and tortured like it was all a fun game.
Naomi shuddered, the screams of the dying and of the tortured, screams of those watching their friends die or screams of the ecstatic killers who had lost their minds under the influence of the school loud and harsh in her head.
Would she ever forget those horrors? Never.
Would she ever forget her fallen friends? Never.
Would she continue to be haunted by past memories? Yes.
Will she ever recover?
Will she? Will she ever recover? Will she ever recover with her mother walking in at every moment, worrying and demanding that she believe Seiko never existed? Will she ever recover with the therapists attempting to 'calm' her with pathetic questions and false sympathy? Will she ever recover when she had to be forced to take medication that only heightened the pain, only doubled the stress? No, Naomi didn't think she would.
"I won't leave you..."
She began to scream, a lost, helpless cry that released the pain that had created a tight knot in her chest.
Thinking she was in trouble, Natsumi burst into the small bedroom only to find her daughter rocking backwards and forwards on her bed, hands over her ears, screaming.
"Naomi!" she shrieked, "Naomi, Naomi, stop it! Calm down!"
Sobs began to replace the screams and Natsumi hurried over to the fragile girl, convinced she was... Well, crazy. Naomi usually broke down now, a constant burden to Natsumi who had raised the girl so well for so long. But now everything had fallen apart, in the space of one night. The only way to 'calm' her would be either to sedate her or threaten her. Neither options appealed to the worried mother.
"Naomi, please, Naomi!" Natsumi begged, unwilling to turn to violence as she rushed over to the crying girl. She remained oblivious to the world around her, rocking backwards and forth, her sobs becoming words. Natsumi was quiet for a moment, trying to listen.
Then: "Seiko! I'm sorry!"
"STOP!" shouted the frustrated woman, and the sheer force of the anger behind that one word was enough to shut Naomi up. Naomi felt like she had woken from a restless sleep- when she broke down like that, she realised she was not in the right state of mind. It reminded her of being in possession all over again...
"LISTEN TO ME!" Natsumi yelled, finally snapping. She didn't have to put up with this, her daughter was just being selfish, coming up with all these lies about a school and fake friends... Naomi was popular enough, why did she need pretend people too? Naomi stared blankly at her mother, who had her arms on her dainty shoulders. She was becoming weaker, refusing to eat, having to be force-fed... Force. That was the only way to deal with her- by force.
"YOU NEED TO STOP THIS! YOU SELFISH GIRL, CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT YOUR PUTTING ME THROUGH!?" Natsumi shrieked, having finally lost it, "YOU GO ON AND ON ABOUT THIS... THIS CHARM, THIS SEIKO GIRL, BUT IT'S ALL LIES!"
Naomi still didn't respond, only angering her further. "THE ONLY PERSON TO BACK UP YOUR STORY WAS MOCHIDA, SHINOZAKI AND THAT TROUBLE BRINGER, KISHINUMA. EXCELLENT CASE, NAOMI. EVEN THEY HAVEN'T VISITED YOU YET!" she screamed, finding she couldn't stop the ranting.
"Get out..." Naomi said quietly.
"You-"
"GET. OUT." Natsumi glared at her daughter, releasing her but staying put.
"You don't know anything! You act like you care, but really you're just thinking to yourself 'Gee, i'm so unlucky, having to put up with my lunatic daughter'. So yeah, if you don't believe me, stay the hell away from me!"
"How dare you talk to your mother like-"
"Oh yeah, some great mother you are," Naomi snapped, her voice heavy with sarcasm, "Even dad couldn't put up with you!"
After that, a long silence followed. Natsumi stared disbelievingly into cold, angry eyes that glared right back. She had meant what she said, and her words hurt like she'd been slapped. Naomi was about to turn away when her mother did just that- she reached out and slapped her hard in the face, leaving a pink stain where her skin had made contact.
"You don't even know why he left!" she shrieked hotly, "Come and apologise when you have some sense in your messed up mind!"
She left quickly, but not quick enough to miss the sharp response, "Maybe I am messed up. But I see no reason to apologise."
As the door slammed shut, Naomi burst into tears, furious with everything. Her mother's accusations stung, especially since they were false, but none stung as bad as the slap on her cheek. She raised a hand to her face and touched the place, the pain increasing with every moment. Sure, they'd argued before, but Natsumi had never hit Naomi...
Wiping away her tears, Naomi jumped up from the bed, grabbing her phone. She was so angry that she was feeling almost reckless. But she had to talk to someone, someone who trusted her, someone who believed her...
Naomi scrolled down her contact's list before clicking Satoshi's name.
Satoshi had just returned from school, a long series of depressing hours spent listening to pointless lectures. He didn't even want to go- he did it for Yuka's sake. And because his mother made him. But if it had been up to him, he would have spent his time inside, procrastinating. Or learning how to survive in desperate situations- yup, that would have been pretty useful a month ago.
The memories... That place... Their friends... Those deaths... He stifled a sob, wanting to seem brave for Yuka, but at the same time feeling so deeply sick of being the 'understanding' one. He had feelings, too! He'd been through things no 17 year old should have to see! Things NO one should have to see.
However, Yuka needed him. She had always been a reliant girl, and now she was as clingy as ever. Yet strangely, she had coped with it the best out of all of them.
"How was school?" asked his mother anxiously as he flopped onto the sofa, exhausted.
"The usual," he said casually, "Work, lecture, work, work, done."
Actually, it had been 'not focus, ignore teacher, daydream, daydream, done'. Same thing. He just had to act like everything was alright- ever since he and Yuka had returned from Heavenly Host, badly shaken and scarred for life, their parents had been worried by their children's sudden change in attitude. Now they had to put on a strong front to cover up this. When Satoshi had gone to school, he'd found Shinozaki and Yoshiki doing the same. But he hadn't seen Naomi since That Day. He knew she'd suffered worse then the rest of them, but he was disheartened when she still hadn't shown up for school after a month...
A sudden surge of memories invaded his brain. Naomi's dropped phone. The dank, seemingly empty, bathroom stalls. The sudden gag, a cry for help. Naomi hanging from a noose in that awfully cramped stall. Satoshi panicking. Rescuing her. Her arms around his neck. Her relief to see him...
Affection for the small girl came pouring into his heart and he could never forget the way she had embraced him so tightly, so glad to see him. And that time he had thrown himself over her body to protect her from a falling beam...
"Satoshi? Satoshi, you listening?" his mother asked nervously, bringing him back to the present.
"Sorry?" he mumbled, still lost in the moment.
"I said, did you hand in your essay for Ms Risaki?"
"Oh, yeah..."
"Something wrong?"
"No, no... I'm just gonna go up to my room..."
She nodded at him and he stood up. But something bugged him about the way she was looking at him. Pitifully, as though knowing he was fighting internal demons that he wouldn't share with anyone else. Desperate to escape to the relative sanity and peace of his room, Satoshi hurried upstairs and locked his bedroom door, not wanting anyone to walk in on him.
After checking no one was about, he began to cry, for their deceased friends, for the guilt-ridden survivors, for Yuka young, innocent Yuka, for Naomi, who carried the unfair burden of Shinohara's demise, for the spirits trapped in Heavenly Host, and for himself, who had to act so damn nice all the time, to be understanding and knowing and caring and comforting and cheerful and optimistic when all he wanted to do was scream at all the people who had no idea of what he'd gone through. None at all.
Eventually, after he'd cried himself out, Satoshi unlocked his door and went to wash his face, doing his best to disguise his red, glazed over eyes. But he didn't go back downstairs. Instead, he traipsed back to his room, watching as the sun set early in these winter months. Darkness was approaching and darkness meant sleep. Sleep meant nightmares. Nightmares meant reliving the horror.
Suddenly, his phone came to life in his pocket and he tiredly pulled it out, not in the mood for talking at all. He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the name flashing on his screen.
Naomi Nakashima.
Why was she calling him? They hadn't spoken since...
Well, she never called him anyway. Used to tease him that he wasn't the type of person she'd 'waste credit on'. But now the days of joking were over and she was calling him and without another thought, he answered.
"Hello?" he said, surprised by the strength in his voice when he had been so weak just moments before.
"Satoshi?" came the quiet reply.
"Hey, Naomi..." he almost smiled, pleased she hadn't forgotten him. Her voice, although softly spoken, was strangely subdued. "Can... Can we talk?"
He was surprised by her question, wondering what she was so anxious to talk to him about. "Is it something we should be discussing over phone?"
""Not really..."
"Come over," he said firmly, wanting to actually see her as well as have her confide in him.
"Are you sure?" she sounded shocked.
"Yes. I... I want to see you."
"Oh.. Okay. See you."
"Bye."
As the line went dead, a whole new train of thoughts went through his mind. Naomi wanted to talk to him? He had been wanting to see her for so long, so why now? And what could she possibly want to discuss?
Naomi... The girl he had come to love over many years, for her kindness, for her beauty, for the way they would always joke with and tease each other in a friendly way... He had missed her and yet suddenly, he found himself worrying about her visit. God, he hoped he didn't make a fool of himself, like always...
Yuka burst into his room and he cursed loudly before gathering his senses and facing her. He'd forgotten to lock the door.
"Big brother, don't be rude!" she scolded, skipping over to him.
"What do you want?" he asked weakly, still recovering from shock.
"To ask if Satsuki can come round, duh," she giggled, smiling up at him with large blue eyes.
"How was I to know?" he sighed, "And why not ask mom?"
Yuka paused, looking down. She suddenly looked rather anxious. "She's been getting more and more angry every day," she mumbled.
"Well, she won't be angry for this."
"Uhhuh. Thanks, big brother," she said quietly, leaving the room. Satoshi stared after her, amazed that she had recovered so well. Sure, there were some cracks, but who wouldn't be even slightly crazy after experiencing what they had? And their mother... The stress was obviously getting to her. She constantly worried about them both, an action that was practically making her ill. No, not the time to be thinking like that...happy thoughts, happy thoughts...
The doorbell rung, a short burst of harsh ringing sound that ended briefly.
"Naomi..." Satoshi muttered and rushed downstairs to answer. His mother looked at him, half smiling. "Eager much?" she smirked and he blushed, pulling it open.
Naomi stood there, and he was shocked to see how she had changed. She still looked beautiful, but it was like a mask covering the depression. Her bright brown eyes had lost some of their humour, her gaze lacking the intensity it used to possess. Her fingers were entwined in a nervous gesture, and she kept biting her lip. However, her short, auburn locks were still silky and soft-looking, her skin still flawless, her figure still perfect. Although she was noticeably thinner- a bad sign. But he saw right through her facade, saw that she was putting on a strong front while remaining broken and irretrievable inside. She was smiling but it was a sad smile, barely concealing the pain she felt.
Instinctively, Satoshi wrapped his arms around her, feeling so utterly helpless as she hugged him back, longing for comfort. No, not true... She had come for a reason, maybe he could help.
"Awhhh~" Yuka chirped, standing behind the two, causing them to self-consciously split apart.
"Do we need more privacy?" Satoshi asked, trying to ignore the heat in his cheeks.
Naomi nodded and he lead her upstairs, ignoring Yuka's cry of, "Yeah, yeah, don't bother shutting the door, brother, leave it all to me..."
The minute he had shut his bedroom door, he looked at the girl who was standing uncertainly besides him and told her to sit. Feeling rather awkward, she perched on the edge of his bed, suddenly very aware of herself.
"Whats up?"
She took a deep breath and began to talk.
"I can't forget, I don't think I ever will, every night it's just the same, over and over again, nightmares of Seiko, nightmares of ghosts and the memories... And I know that you have those, too, but you don't have to live with the burden of killing your best friend, while your mother yells at you and calls you a liar then loses her temper and threatens to call the psychiatrists..."
She went on like this, spilling her guts while Satoshi listened intently, wanting to help the troubled girl as best as he could. A little while later, she stopped talking and looked beseechingly at him.
"Sorry for going on like that..." she said, "I just wanted to tell someone...someone who trusts me."
"Naomi, I..." he trailed off, a little unsure of what he was going to say.
She looked so sad and he wanted to comfort her somehow but wasn't sure how. Eventually, he managed to ask, "Are you eating?" It was an odd question but her eyes narrowed and she was hesitant in answering.
"Why?"
He shrugged. "You look thinner. Like, a lot more then before. I just wondered..."
"...not really. They make me. Force me."
He stared at her. "Why not?"
"I don't know if you've noticed, Satoshi," she said coldly, "But I've kinda given up on life." She hadn't meant to sound so hopeless, but she couldn't help herself.
Suddenly, he was on his feet, the anger he had suppressed for so long finally spilling over. "How can you have!? Can't you move on? Shinohara would wanted you to have and all you do is reject help and live in this lonely little bubble!" he shouted, quite forgetting everything he had ever thought.
"Why are you shouting?" she choked, actually hurt, "I've just poured my heart out to you and told you every shitty thing that is wrong with me, because YOUR the only one who understands! Or, I thought you did..."
Satoshi was regretting his sudden outburst, wishing he'd never taken it out on the girl he loved, wishing he wasn't such a bitter jerk who had just let down the person who trusted him most...
She got up to leave, tears falling freely down her angelic face, betrayal in her eyes.
"No- wait-!" he cried, grabbing her arm to stop her from leaving.
"Let go..." she mumbled without conviction, trying to pull her arm back.
"Please... I'm sorry, Naomi..." he told her, not letting go.
No response.
"Please. I was angry."
"..."
"Please... You're the only one who understands me..."
"..."
"Yoshiki and Shinozaki have each other... I need you, Naomi..."
"You... You do?"
He nodded, unable to speak anymore, his eyes staring into her own. Suddenly and without warning, he started to cry, and despite his embarrassment, he couldn't stop. Naomi pulled him too her, letting him sob onto her shoulder, clinging onto her desperately. She didn't say anything, but her presence was all he needed and that was enough.
Gently, she pulled away from him once he'd calmed down.
"God, Naomi i'm so sorry..." he whispered, as she wiped away his tears.
"It's fine... Fine..."
And they both knew it would never be fine. Forever, they would be haunted by memories of the past, mocked by the people who would dismiss the truth, unable to sleep without nightmares entering their dreams, only reliving the horror. None of their friends would return and they had to live with that awful truth. Dead. Gone. No Happy Ever After for them. But they had each other. And when the world denied them of happiness, they would always be there for each other. Defend each other.
And maybe the past was irretrievable.
But never were they alone.
Good God, am I depressed. Any happy requests? Bai bai :)