17 minutes and 30 seconds..
That's how long I have been staring at the ceiling.. I think? who the hell counts when they are figuring out how they got to be somewhere they were not supposed to be?
Bringing up to my mind the last thing I remember.. last thing I remember.. hmm.. rather last person I remember..
Not being able to trust myself with what I really saw.. I am still in defense if I really saw whom I thought I saw or just thought whom I would like to see which was confusing even for me and that is saying something.
Derek.. Derek..
What is his last name again?
It is something common if I am not mistaken, like a place?.. food?.. ahh.. animals.. something to do with animals, Sheperd.. that's it!
But merely thinking about him, about his silly little name is bringing up more memories.. memories that I rather not care to bring up if I can help it at all.
Recollection of the only person known to me and me alone. A person so precious but who was not even given any chance of having a past, present and specially a future.
Feeling something wet on my cheek I hurriedly wiped it up, that has been another thing that is foreign to me for a relative number of years. I tried hard to close up my mind and heart once again... To protect my sanity... For me to have a will to move forward.. nevertheless I knew that something is different, I can't really pinpoint what that difference is but I can feel it.. I knew that somehow, someway this relates to her.. Elizabeth
I may not know her, I may not know what her connection to all of these are, if she even has a connection to any of these or I'm just deluding myself but then again I don't know if I am willing to risk my sanity for a simple gut feeling. A gut feeling so insignificant it was the first thing I felt in a long time.. a gut feeling so trivial it pierce through the walls that took years to be built.
zzzzzzz
I woke up to the sound of beeping machines around me, to the people right outside my room who seems to be chattering their pathetic little lives away instead of working which is what they are paid to do. I kept hearing my name repeated again and again, my name that was never in their vocabulary unless necessary.
People around the hospital never did find me interesting.. well.. since I started working here as far as I can tell.. Having had no experience whatsoever in this kind of treatment from my colleagues before I am kind of at a loss here but regardless of all that I already made up my mind.
I'm getting to the bottom of this.. whatever this maybe be.. whatever the consequence might be.. even if just for my sanity.
After a few more talking and gossiping as much as I can tell, one by one they started to set foot in my room
I mentally composed myself and prepared for a shameful encounter with my colleagues and interns alike.