I am getting sick of this, just a day after the "incident" as I am calling it now.

Everyone is still pretty interested in what happened or what is currently happening to me. How can anybody stand this insanity? How can anybody work in this kind of environment? Argghh.. My interns now look at me like I am going to have a panic attack, faint, or do something entertaining for them. Which is not something you want your interns to do.. trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

You want them to feel somewhat fearful of you at all times, its what makes them not kill anyone and not killing anyone is very good in my book. How can I evoke that kind of fear once again, when they saw me fainting for no apparent reason and being a little miss goody two shoes to my patient.

So many problems, too little time but enough about that let us get back to business.

Anyway, who the hell am I talking to? I think I am going crazy because of all the things that is happening to me, that is why I need to figure this out and fast so I can finally have my sane self back.

The day appears to be going on for a long time. I can't find a decent hour where there are no nurses in the nurses's station which is pretty stupid since it is their station if you want to analyze it like that. Shit! I gotta stop talking to myself, this is getting me nowhere.

Finally braving to talk to one of the nurses who seems to be new much to my relief.

"Good day, can I have the chart for Ms. Elizabeth Shepherd? I just need to double check something."

"Ahh.. yes of course Dr. Grey. Here it is."

"I'll just ask one of my interns to bring it back in a few hours. Thank you."

"That is alright Dr. and uhmm.. It isn't true what they say about you.. you know that you are rude and all"

"Well, thank you for the vote of confidence but I am sure they have a valid reason for that. Thank you again for this."

Walking away with the chart, successful from my first mission, I entered one of the on call rooms and locked it. Looking down at all of Elizabeth's records, I noticed something right away and that is her date of birth.

That is weird.. same date.. same month.. even the year is the same. Is this possible?

I guess it is possible since it is staring me straight in the face.

I can feel the wall inside me start to crack. And memory upon memory starts to suddenly burst out of my carefully buried thoughts.

Something is not right here, how can his daughter survive and mine don't?

I imagined holding her, singing lullabies, bathing her..

I remembered her.. my perfect little angel. She should be the same age as Elizabeth now, she should be having the perfect father, the perfect life.

How can everything change in a blink of an eye? How can my perfect life be ruined with just a snap of my fingers?