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Very early update, I know, but since school's opening, I won't be updating for a pretty long time. The ship set up will last for one—or two more? I'm still not sure—more chapter. And then it'll be the mansion.

Warning: Very, very bad attempt at humor. Seriously. I'm not kidding. A bit of family-ness from Tsuan's side meant for beloved Xanxus.

Warning: Don't own. Sadly.

Enjoy!

He saw red.

Blood was floating and surrounding his form—the sea water was red. That explained the arrival of the shark. Where he had gotten himself injured was still a mystery to Tsuna since he couldn't feel any part of his body particularly stinging, but he supposed that it was during the fall. Whatever the case, it did nothing to satisfy his need to stay the hell away from the shark which seemed pretty obstinate in turning Tsuna into shark food.

Tsuna definitely had the worst luck ever. Or maybe he was simply cursed.

He would have asked Reborn about that, actually, if not for the fear of offending the hitman.

He spent the first twenty seconds screeching inside his head the words 'WHY ME!?' and the next zero point two seconds to come to a solution:

I should kill it, he thought to himself firmly, and then hesitated.

That seemed so… mean.

Yeah, sure, the shark wanted to eat him, but Tsuna hated being mean.

So he did the only thing he could do in this situation, where the odds were cheerfully and very exuberantly (as usual) against him: he swam in the opposite direction, involuntarily gulping in a lot of sea water. He hated the feel of that, he decided, taking in sweet oxygen at the same time.

And then something slipper touched his foot and he yelped, startled, before finding himself being swiftly—if not gently—scooped out of the water. The slippery yet rough something was still underneath him, and it would have freaked him out if he weren't busty coughing and trying to puke out his lung. The wind was brushing past his ears, fast, and he squeezed his eyes shut. He was dumped unceremoniously on a hard surface, which prompted him to open his eyes, immediately coming to the conclusion that he was back safely on the ship.

He also noticed a flying shark. Which bubbled out of existence and very blatantly disappeared into a Rain Guardian's Varia Ring.

"VOOOOOOIIIII!" said Rain Guardian screamed, "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU BABY BOSS?! CAN'T YOU SWIM?!"

Tsuna recalled the shark, glanced at Squalo, added two and two, and came to a sobbing four.

Obviously, since flying sharks were an everyday thing, his classmates weren't likely to ask any difficult-to-answer-questions, right?

Right.

Tsuna gave a sheepish smile, and mumbled a half hearted apology. Squalo, the only remaining Varia member present in the deck, snorted and stalked away.

"Che, I'm leaving you to your own damned business and remember to meet my stupid Boss later. He wants to talk to you or murder you or something; don't care."

Tsuna watched the owner of his savior leave, and then belatedly noticed that everybody was staring at him.

Whispers resounded:

"How do they know Dame-Tsuna?"

"Why was he trying to kill him?"

"Was that a flying shark?"

"Yeah! Did you look at it!"

"Sharks can't fly!"

"That's biologically impossible!"

"But Tsuna was on it!"

It is a known fact that children are mostly fickle. Since the flying shark was evidently more interesting than the strangers' knowledge of Tsuna's existence, the whispers and speculations started revolving mostly on the odd incident regarding the fish. And then people started asking him about the shark, and how it magically simply bubbled out of existence since that was not definitely possible, and Tsuna started feeling very, very awkward. He had no explanations to it, and his still cold and mushy brain could not come up with a proper excuse.

Things became worse when people expected him—someone who preferred drowning in the sea than showing his clueless classmates that defying the Laws of Physics was something he did on a very regular basis—to answer the scientifically impossible.

Chrome—bless that girl, Jesus, Buddha, anyone, Tsuna thought in ecstasy—decided to intervene.

"Tha—That was a machine."

All heads turned to her.

"What do you mean?" A girl asked.

"A machine, obviously. I had gone to, um, Switzerland last summer, and there were toys like that there. For kids."

Verde would be rolling in his future-grave if the green haired scientist ever came to the knowledge that his weapons were being described as kiddy toys.

"But that was so real!"

"They are meant to look real." Chrome said firmly, and then probably did something with her Mist Flames (illusions, no doubt) which convinced the students the next moment, if a short pause followed by nods of agreement were anything to go by.

Tsuna wanted to kiss Chrome then and there, but managed to restrain himself for the fear of getting gutted by Ken. Mukuro—diabolical that he was—would definitely tell the blonde, and Tsuna preferred his guts to be where they were.

He managed a grateful smile. Chrome smiled back.

The moment was broken by the arrival of a hysterical Gokudera, Yamamoto and Ryohei, all three looking absurdly pale, and Tsuna instantly reassured them of his survival.

"I'm alright, guys. Really." He repeated when none of them seemed particularly convinced.

"You are not alright!" Gokudera all but shrieked, crouching by his Boss' side as he took in the very deep and possibly life threatening gash adorning his calf.

Huh. Funny how it was not hurting at all.

Tsuna prodded the injury with his index finger, realizing that it still wasn't paining. There had to be something wrong with that, he concluded, somewhat dazed, noticing for the first time the pool of blood surrounding him. His classmates, having had noticed the blood immediately after having satisfied their curiosity over the existence of flying fishes, unsurprisingly, did not come forth to help. They were just asking how he was, and whether he was alright, but that was probably because stepping up and helping him seemed impossible, what with three people huddled very protectively over him.

"I AM EXTREMELY HEALING YOU!" Ryohei declared, clenching his hands the way he did whenever Sun Flames were to come to play.

Tsuna rapidly shook his head, and tried standing up. He succeeded in doing so, but Gokudera tugged him down.

"Do not move, Tenth! The injury is very bad!"

"Please do not heal me!" Tsuna repeated a bit desperately, earning odd looks from his friends. Ryohei paused, bewildered, and Tsuna continued, "I'm fine! I swear to God, I am perfectly fine so—"

The last thing he saw before the world caved and tilted was the face of a very amused and slightly irate Reborn, who seemed a bit too evil for Tsuna's comfort.

When Tsuna woke up, it was to see a chandelier.

The existence of such an object wasn't even a bit surprising to Tsuna since his muddled up brain reminded him that his allotted room had the abovementioned object fixed to the ceiling, which explained where exactly he was. The surface he was lying on was soft and springy—the bed, then, he decided, groggily sitting up. He ran his hand over his face, registering how salty and sticky he felt.

"Ah, you're awake, Decimo."

The words were spoken in Italian, so Tsuna replied back in Italian, "What happened?"

The man who Tsuna failed to recognize swept his hand in the general direction of Tsuna's leg, and he noticed that the injured limb was securely bandaged, "After you lost your consciousness, Decimo, you were brought here. Sasagawa Ryohei healed your leg."The man frowned in slight distaste, "He was making quite a ruckus, too."

Something about his tone made Tsuna feel a bit irritated. He shoved the feeling aside.

"Ah, where are my manners? I am Alessandro Barsetti," the man introduced himself, and Tsuna ignored the way his intuition rang suddenly with startling clarity.

"Nice to meet you. I am Sawada Tsunayoshi. I suppose Tsunayoshi Sawada in Italian, right?"

The man chuckled. It was an unobtrusive chuckle, but it made Tsuna uncomfortable.

"I'm aware," Alessandro informed him lightly, and then frowned, "Are you feeling quite alright, Decimo?"

"Yeah. I think I lost too much blood. Urgh…" Tsuna replied feebly, glad that the windows and his room's door were open. It allowed more air circulation—something Tsuna required at the moment. He swayed a little, instantly glad when a pair of strong hands gently supported him by his shoulders.

Alessandro was speaking, "You should rest."

Tsuna nodded, "Thank you, Alessandro."

There was a sound of shuffling feet. Tsuna looked at the door, but when Alessandro did not do the same, Tsuna guessed that he had merely imagined it. Alessandro was muttering in contempt, "Seriously, Xanxus has gone too farthis time…"

Tsuna laughed, "Yeah, but that's him."

"He shouldn't be the Varia Leader! His attitude is utterly disgusting!"

Tsuna frowned, not liking his choice of words, "I think he's alright…"

Alessandro shook his head, dark brown hair swaying at the movement, "He is not. Absolutely not. He may be strong, but he has no manners. You have heard of the Cradle incident, haven't you? And he tried killing you once, too, didn't he, Decimo? Heard what he did to you; as far as I'm concerned, he is a bloody traitor, and traitors shouldn't be a part of Vongola. Heard he wanted to lead Vongola! Ha! What a joke! If you ask me, Nono should have kicked him out of the job the moment he went about murdering his own Famiglia. Xanxus simply tarnishes Vongola's name. I'm damn sure that behind the scenes, he is cooking up ways to overthrow the Vongola or lead it or kill every one of its people. You know how people like them are, don't you? If he can't get it, he won't allow others to."

By the end of Alessandro's speech, Tsuna was positively seething inside. He took in a deep breath, and ran the Italian's words in his mind, and then glanced at the man. Their gazes locked, and the dark-skinned man's speech trailed of uncertainly.

"I'd really appreciate," Tsuna stated calmly, seeing through a light shade of liquid fire. Odd, he didn't remember having switched to Hyper Dying Will Mode, "if you'd never badmouth my family in front of me, ever again, is that clear? Xanxus is the best out there, and as for him being the leader of the Varia? He is the best, got it? And he is not a traitor and he loves his family more than anything, so if I ever hear you saying otherwise, the consequences will not be good for you, understand?"

Tsuna had unconsciously spoken in Japanese, but considering the way Alessandro spluttered, he concluded that the Italian knew Japanese.

"But, Decimo—he tried to kill you! Any sane person should hate him for what he has do—"

"Then I guess I am not sane, am I? And Xanxus does not 'tarnish' Vongola's name, you hear me? Do not even dare to think otherwise."

Alessandro gaped, and Tsuna vaguely noticed how the man was sweating a bit. It was funny, considering how cool the room was.

Tsuna glanced at the door, and then at the Barsetti, "Please leave. I'd like to rest. Thank you."

There was an odd pause and then the man got up a bit shakily, with a soft, "Of course, Decimo."

As the dark Italian left, Tsuna receded back to his bed, failing to notice the familiar flutter of a black sleeve disappearing down his door's right.

Alessandro all but ran back to his room, heart thudding wildly in his chest as he shut the door loudly behind him, making sure to lock it. He checked again that it was, indeed, locked, before re-checking it, and then re-re-checking it, and then re-re-re-checking it. Once he was damn sure that it was securely locked, he bolted the door, chained it carefully, shoved his couch towards it, just in case, and then slid down the wall, falling on the floor ungracefully. He took in a deep breath, intending for the action to calm his nerves.

It didn't.

He was scared of a fourteen year old. A—fucking!—fourteen year old!

His Boss would be so mad.

"The heck's wrong with me?!" he muttered to himself furiously.

The kid was scary, no doubt. His eyes were so cold and calculating, as if staring right into his soul, and, for a heart stopping minute, he had been convinced that his cover had been blown. Alessandro shuddered, clammy, and quickly drank a glass of water. His throat felt absurdly dry.

If there was one thing he learned from the meeting, it was that getting on the kid's good side was absolutely impossible now. The protectiveness of the kid towards his ex-murderers was startling, frankly, and Alessandro was half convinced that the kid was possibly a bit loose in the head.

It didn't make sense, though!

Frankly, Alessandro's thoughts had been relatively simple—badmouth Xanxus, something he had been pretty damn sure the kid would have eagerly taken part in, given the history between the two, and then get the other's trust.

But, noooooooooo! The kid just had to be an affectionate idiot, didn't he?!

Dammit to hell!

Tsuna woke up sometime during dinner.

He hadn't meant to wake up, but Reborn was there, and so were guns and hammers and a boomerang and, well, the rest was pretty self explanatory.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, Reborn! Injured person here!"

Reborn left him abruptly, and Tsuna shrieked as he nearly fell out of the window and into the familiar dark waters below. How he had come to the position of nearly being thrown out of the window was something he'd rather not recall, so he did not, and sat on the floor, massaging a bruised rib.

"Muuuurrrggghhhh."

Reborn hit him again for making such an uncivilized noise.

Tsuna glared at him, but intelligently chose not to comment, "What are you doing here? I thought you were giving me the silent treatment or something."

Reborn rose a bushy brow (he was still in that puke-worthy and horrid get-up), "I wasn't giving you the 'silent treatment', Dame-Tsuna. What made you think that?"

Tsuna shrugged. Reborn hit him with a green stick for that.

"Fine. Just stop hitting me, will you? I mean, you did not try to murder me for falling into the sea, so I thought you were ignoring me…"

He immediately regretted having said that. Reborn's expression definitely did not spell anything good for his physiology.

"You missed me hitting you, then, Tsuna?"

"What?! No, no, no, no that's not what I meant, Rebborn! Reborn? Reborn?! Reborn! What the hell is that! Noooo—"

He was beaten to a bloody pulp. Tsuna decided that he hated his mouth.

Nursing many bruised somethings, Tsuna did not have enough energy for even glaring at Reborn and putting enough heat in that endeavor. So he settled to asking what the tiny hitman was doing in his room.

Reborn paused, turned, looked at Tsuna, thought for a while and then recalled the reason for his arrival apart from the need to 'beat the life out of my beloved and very-loved student just for the hell of it.'

"Dinner. Downstairs. Get ready."

And that was that.

Except that wasn't that.

Tsuna arrived at the dining hall and instantly regretted doing so.

The Varia were there, Xanxus sitting on the head of the other side of the table, legs propped crudely on top of the clothed, wooden surface, fascinatingly as rabid as ever. Members of the group which would surely be responsible for turning Tsuna bald thirty years too early, if the brunette ever decided to take over the Vongola, which he would not (stop thinking about it!), were present, too. The plates were clean and empty—dinner hadn't started yet, then.

The other seats were occupied by chattering students as they readied themselves for dinner, no doubt excited at the prospect. He also noticed the little helpful tags with the names of the students, allotting them to their respective seats, noticed his own, and then froze.

At the head of the table, beaming proudly, was a tag with own name, and—

This is Reborn's doing, isn't it?

Obviously it was. Everything fucked up was always Reborn's doing.

The six seats surrounding his were empty, which meant that his Guardians weren't there yet. He supposed that due to the distance the students from his table, they had not noticed the name of one Sawada Tsunayoshi in the most prominent seat ever created by the brilliant race known as mankind. Tsuna wanted to sob.

In retro respect, the situation wasn't exactly a big deal in itself, but Tsuna very obdurately did not want any form of suspicion being created in his general direction or existence, so sitting at the head of the table was a pretty damn big of a deal. So he, very insouciantly (the insouciance of his movement was to such an extent that it could easily make an actor/actress green with envy), exchanged the name tags with the one closest to his allotted seat. He breathed out, and sat down on his newly appointed chair.

His action was followed by the entrance of each of his friends. The last ones to arrive were Gokudera and Yamamoto, the former of which all but screamed in indignation when he saw where he was to sit.

"NO!" he boomed, causing various people (including Xanxus, holy mother of God!) to stare at him, "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! TH—THE HEAD OF THE TABLE! I CAN'T!"

"Go-Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna called out weakly, having noticed who he had exchanged his own tag with.

"HOW COULD THEY?! HOW DARE THEY EVEN THINK THAT THE TENTH SHOULD SIT WITH THE COMMON PEOPLE?!"

"Haha, 'Dera, it's not that big of a deal!"

"IT IS! TENTH!" Gokudera's head whipped towards Tsuna, "Sit here!"

Tsuna laughed, shook his head, glanced around and laughed again, "No, I'm—er, fine really—"

"Nooooo! Tenth, you shouldn't."

"But I don't—"

"Trash, sit where the scum's telling you to, or Primo help me, I'm going to gut you alive. You hear me?"

Xanxus' voice shut down any and every protest from Tsuna, as the brunette slinked towards his originally-appointed seat.

So much for his insouciance.

Dinner was a relatively quiet business. Tsuna glanced at Xanxus and 'eeeep'ed when their eyes met. The scarred man continued sulkily or angrily, Tsuna couldn't tell, murdering and re-murdering his steak. Tsuna tried not to think of Lambo as he saw Xanxus repeatedly do that.

He failed.

I've lost my appetite now…

*Ducks three tomatoes, five pineapples and a very suspicious looking spikey weapon*

The ending was a bummer, but tried, guys, tried.

Review?