Tommy sat the bottle of whiskey on the top of the headstone. The graveyard was empty and quiet in the early morning mist.
He looked at the inscription on the cold granite and it still didn't feel real.
Ben didn't ever really feel dead unless Tommy was here.
"Beloved son and public servant," Ben's tombstone read.
Tommy dropped down onto the ground, leaning his back against the side of the granite slab.
He grabbed the bottle of the top of the head stone and took a big swig. He dropped the bottle into his lap and let out a long exhale.
"I fucked up, Ben."
He waited, like he thought a reply might come … but he was greeted by nothing but silence.
Tommy started again.
"You were right. Lindy is amazing. She is so smart, so fearless, so logical, so loyal, so beautiful …" he trailed off, as his fingers unconsciously played with the rough edges of the label on the bottle.
"She knows," he confessed disappointedly.
"She knows about the necklace, about the arrest, why we recruited her … everything," Tommy finished. He took another swig of the whiskey and dropped it back in his lap.
He swallowed hard. Looked up to the clear early morning sky, then he looked down at his feet. Ben was dead, but he still felt shame over his feelings for Lindy,
"I love her," he admitted aloud to no one but himself.
"I shouldn't. I know that. She's yours. She's been through so much. She's too good for me. She deserves better. I get it," Tommy reasoned with himself. "I can't stop thinking about her. And … she hates me."
Tommy leaned his head against the cold stone and pulled his left hand through his hair. He took another drink and stared off into distance. The sun was just coming up over the gravestones on the east side of him. It was beautiful and serene in a morbid sort of way.
"She was attacked last night," he said matter-of-factly. "I should have been there to protect her, but I wasn't. I let her down. I let you down … I know that I promised you that I would look out for her."
"Fuck. She is stubborn, though. Isn't she." Tommy smiled at the thought, finally starting to feel the effects of the whiskey. He breathed out a sigh and drew another swig from the bottle. "And… incredible," Tommy finished as his dragged his hand across his lips, closed his eyes and fell asleep against Ben's gravestone.