Lindy returned his kiss passionately, pulling him in close to her.
But with each passing moment, what had felt like passion started to feel more like desperation. Lindy's kisses grew frenzied, almost violent. She grabbed at his boxer briefs roughly, scratching Tommy's ass in the process.
"Slow down there Tiger," Tommy joked creating some distance between them by lifting himself up onto his elbows. But when he saw the look in her eyes, the lightness dropped out of his manner completely.
She did look desperate. Her eyes were filled with tears.
"No. Tommy, don't stop. This is helping…" she begged, trying to pull him back towards her.
Tommy resisted her pull, staring down at her with concern. "What do you mean 'this is helping'? Helping what?"
Tears starting falling down her soft cheeks.
Tommy shifted his body, so that he was lying beside her. He brushed the tears off her cheek gently.
"Lindy," he whispered softly. "What's going on?"
Lindy swung her legs off the side of the bed and stood up. She grabbed her hospital gown off the floor, pulled it over her shoulders, reaching her arms behind her back to tie the two ties that she could reach on her own.
Still dumbfounded, Tommy sat up in Lindy's bed staring after her.
She finally turned and met his gaze.
"I'm so sorry Tommy. I was so tired of feeling scared. Of feeling sad. Helpless. I just wanted to feel something different. Anything different."
Tommy's heart dropped to the floor.
She hadn't forgiven him. She didn't share his feelings. He was a distraction. Just a distraction.
He swallowed hard and ran his hand through his hair. He desperately tried to hold his composure.
"Right… yeah… I get it," he lied, trying to reassure her and not wanting to add to her pain.
Knowing that his eyes were likely betraying him, Tommy broke her stare. A lump the size of a baseball was quickly building in his throat.
Putting on a brave face, Tommy stood up out of her bed and wrapped his arms around her.
"Don't worry. We are going to find her. I'm going to help you figure this all out." He gently whispered into her hair. "You should get some sleep."
Tommy didn't have a hope in hell of getting any sleep. Every inch of his skin smelled like Lindy. He stared at the beige wall beside his bed, his mind racing at everything that had just happened.
It didn't mean anything. Not to her. She just needed a diversion from the shitty things going on around her. She wasn't even his to want anyway. She was Ben's.
He started chewing on his lower lip in frustration, but stopped because he could taste Lindy's lip gloss on his lips. "Fuck," he mumbled quietly to himself, trying to wipe her from his lips in vain.
Exasperated, Tommy quietly got up from his bed and headed into the bathroom. He stripped down and stepped into the hot stream of the shower, determined to wash every trace of her off of him.
He pressed his palms against the cold beige tiles of the shower and let the water stream over his shoulders and down his muscular back.
He wasn't sure how long he was in there, but when he came out, the sun was just starting to come up.
Tommy texted Yaeger.
[You need to get me out of here. It's been 18 hours. No symptoms. Please.]
[K. Let me talk to the medical lead.]
[Thx. I owe u.]
When Lindy woke shortly after 8:00 a.m. Tommy was long gone. His bed was made, towels were folded and sitting in a tidy pile at the foot. It was like he hadn't even been there at all.
She could smell Tommy light pine cologne on her pillow case. She ran her hand over the warn cotton slowly. "Trust me Tommy. It's better this way. You don't deserve to be part of this. I can't lose someone else I care about."