"Be safe, keep them safe."
Those were the words Bard had whispered for his son's ears only the night he bid his children to flee from the dawning battle. But they had not gone to safety, instead Bain had lead his sisters to Ravenhill and directly into peril.
"Keep them safe."
He strode through the gates of Dale his regal robes billowing around him in the celerity of his stride, impervious to others around him and their calls of greeting fell upon deaf ears. Anger and confusion; Bard's mind was but a boat caught up in the fury of these tempests.
Why had Bain done it? What had possessed him to abandon sense and chase after danger with his sisters in tow? But far greater than the confusion was the crushing knowledge that Bain had lied to him and broken his word.
Weaving his way through the almost familiar passageways Bard came upon the City Square in no time and for a moment he was struck with the vitality it exuded, only days ago it might have been mistaken as a city of the dead. The men where organised across the Square, those at the center performing drills with swords and spears while others lined the outskirts waiting to be fitted for the resurrected uniform of the Guard of Dale. Bard's eyes roamed over the arrangement of men both young and old who brandished the contents of Dale's armoury in their hands. How strange it was that they should be so eager to take up the instruments of death when they were so intimately familiar with its pain. But then, he supposed, perhaps to be accustomed to such pain was to be bound to prevent its re-occurrence by all measure necessary.
Then he spotted Bain, his young eyes gleaming with excitement as he spoke animatedly to those around him, waiting eagerly for his turn to have his chest measured for the guard's uniform.
Was this why Bain had done it; to chase danger and death for the glory of battle? Men like that were indeed brave, but, and the thought rose like bile in Bard's throat, men like that endangered all those around them and worse still men like that did not live long enough to see their hair turn grey.
Bard strode forwards again and the crowds parted as Bard cut a regal figure through them towards his son.
Bain looked up to see why those around him had suddenly ceased their actions and saw his father as he had never seen him before; dressed in fine regal robes and furs with a crown atop his head. Bain had always thought that his Da wore a crown, not a literal one but one that shone through his eyes, speaking of great dignity and strength. In Bain's mind his Da did not need regalia to appear as a King but never the less the image of him dressed so brought a sense of great pride and satisfaction. He opened his mouth to hail his father but upon catching sight of his Da's face the words died on the tip of his tongue.
Bard stood before his son and the tone of his voice would have withered the hardiest of shrubs. "Why did you do it, Bain?"
"Da, I don't-" Bain began, confused.
"You disobeyed me! I know that you did not go to safety as I asked, you went to Ravenhill to fight and I know that you took your sisters with you." Bard had not intended to shout but the words exploded from his mouth out of bitter disappointment, and like the arrow once cast the words could not be withdrawn once spoken.
All those in the vicinity ceased their activity and turned towards the commotion.
Bain could not look his father in the eye, he would not speak to his defence when he felt that in truth he might as well have been guilty of what he was accused.
Bard drew a measured breath and calmed himself; anger would only do more harm than good. Instead he steeled himself to ask the question of which he dreaded the answer. "That's where Tilda was attacked wasn't it; while you were up on Ravenhill?"
Bain's voice shook and still he did not meet Bard's eye. "Yes, Da."
Bard sighed "Why did you do it, son; why did you disobey me?" and it was if the words were weighted with all the anguish of recent days.
You could have heard the wind whistle through the city such was the silence that had befallen the Square.
With great resolve and much effort Bain lifted his head so he could meet his father's eyes. He could not bear to lie to him or have his Da think so badly of him, no matter if he deserved it or not. "We could not run and hide while others gave their lives, not after all that we had faced together. Sigrid and Tilda felt the same way or else I would never have gone along with it. But I swear to you Da that I did not break my promise; I never stopped trying to protect them; I did not shoot the arrow on Ravenhill."
Bard looked at his son in confusion. "Bain, the arrow that struck the Pale Orc was decorated with the sigil of our ancestors, they were one of kind and I gave them all to you."
"But it was not I who shot it." Bain insisted earnestly.
Since Tilda had died there had been few things that gave Bard comfort, but he was relieved to know that, as small a treasure as it was, he could still find and recognise honesty in his son's face.
"Who shot the arrow then?" Bard asked quietly.
Bain shook his head firmly, feeling as if his heart was being torn into two; one part loyal to the promise he made Sigrid and the other to his Father. "Da, I can't tell you that, please don't ask me to break my word."
"Bain," Bard stepped forwards. "Who shot the arrow?"
"I did Da." Sigrid's voice rang out clearly across the Square from behind him.
Bard closed his eyes for a moment, wishing her voice to have been an illusion before turning to face his daughter.
Sigrid stood defiantly across the square rom them, her skirts were a mess and her hair unkempt but her eyes were fierce and her mouth set determinedly, just like her mother.
As Sigrid stepped crossed the Square she did not try to hide the slight shake in her hands for all the determination of her voice; she was tired of hiding fear as if it were weakness. "I encouraged that we go to Ravenhill rather than into the woods, I left Bain and Tilda in a cave, and I was the one who shot the Pale Orc, not Bain." With a small, grateful smile to Bain she stepped between her Da and her brother. "If you have blame to place then it belongs with me."
"Sigrid?" Bard paled. No, it couldn't be. Sigrid couldn't have been the archer. Sigrid was responsible; she had spent her life caring for her siblings. She could not have drawn them into danger. And yet, there she stood, proclaiming that it had been her.
Bard's legs were a dead weight, he could not think, and meanwhile all around him whispers flared. People spoke behind their hands, some looking in awe and others in blatant disapproval at the fierce girl before them.
Sigrid felt their eyes on her, felt them scour her every inch with incredulity, she heard their disbelieving mutters and an uncomfortable heat rose in her neck but still she did not look away from her Da. She would not stand by as Bain took the blame and what was more; her Da needed to know the truth and she needed him to know it from her own mouth. She lifted her chin and swallowed, trying to ignore the watchers.
A strangled noise escaped Bard's mouth before he managed to shape it into a coherent word. "Why?" He managed.
Sigrid wrung her hands. "How can you not know why? You are my Da and I am your daughter, did you truly believe that we could flee like cowards while others gave their lives? We could not leave you! But as soon as we realized that Ravenhill was about to be overrun we made for the hills, for safety."
"But you chased after the Orcs, you shot the Pale Orc. On the tower"
Sigrid looked at him in anguish. "It was a trap! I watched Fíli and his kin ride towards that tower and I knew that it would be their doom. Of course I had to follow them; I could not stand by and do nothing!"
"But you left Bain and Tilda alone!" Bard all but yelled.
The words hit Sigrid with the force of an Orc battering ram, knocking the wind from her so that she gasped. In her own voice these words had tormented her mind, but to hear them spoken aloud and by her beloved Da... That was an altogether harsher pain.
But something changed at hearing the words spoken aloud; a spirit once dowsed now flared in revival within and when Sigrid opened her mouth to speak again her anger was more to the tormentor in her head than to her Da before her.
"I left them alone only because I thought they were safe. I left them alone because I could not bear it anymore for my life to be at the mercy of fate and chance. I made a choice exactly the same as yours; to protect those I love. But I might not have had to make such a choice if you had not sent us away!"
"I was trying to protect you!" Bard cried out.
Sigrid looked at her Da and at the anguish in his eyes she felt her anger give way to misery. "I know that, Da, and I love you for it. But by sending us away you took away my ability to protect one I loved, so I took it back."
Bard could see in the sorrow of her eyes that she did not blame him and he sighed. "You cannot ever think that I will regret my decision or ever think that I would allow you to walk headlong into danger. I am you father and it is my job to protect you from harm, no matter what."
"And to teach me to defend those I love in turn." Sigrid stepped forwards. "You taught me that, the same day you taught me to shoot an arrow and so that is what I did. I'm sorry for disobeying you and I'm sorry for putting Tilda and Bain in danger but I could not live with myself if I did not act. Only now do I realise the cruel joke that I lost one part to my heart for protecting another."
The courtyard was silent, the people looking from Bard to his daughter in confusion. Although many had guessed from their words at the events on Ravenhill that fateful day, exactly who Sigrid was referring to was a matter of confusion.
This detail did not seem to concern Bard who beheld his daughter with a mix of pride and bitter sorrow. She was right; she had done exactly as he had. She had not knowingly put her siblings in danger; it had not been a reckless act in pursuit of glory as he had feared. Sigrid had been put in a position where instead of being helpless in the face of oncoming death she had gathered her courage and done what others might not have dared to do for the sake of love.
Sigrid waited for her Da to speak, desperately needing him to say the words she knew were coming but he did not and so she did, if to throw them from herself or to claim them for eternity she did not know but with unbridled tears spilling from her eyes she opened her mouth. "I know it's my fault; I know that if I had not done what I did then Tilda would-" she faltered. "Tilda would still be alive."
"Oh my darling girl, never think that." Horrified, Bard wrapped his arms around his daughter as if to shield her from such a thought. "Tilda was killed by an evil that neither you nor I could prevent, not by a choice you made." Sigrid's body shook in his arms. "I know that you cannot see it now but you did not sacrifice Tilda; you made a choice to save the lives of others, not to allow your sister to be killed. I do not blame you and you cannot blame yourself."
It would take something else before Sigrid would ever truly believe that she had not played a role in Tilda's death, maybe even a lifetime, but standing there wrapped in her Da's arms she began to accept it, and in time this would make all the difference.
Bard extended his arm so as to draw Bain into the embrace of what remained of their broken family. But all those in the Square would have sworn, although they did not speak of it, that the spirits of Tilda and her Mam were there that day and that somehow, in that moment, the living seemed whole once more.
Bard pulled his head back to look his son in the eye. "Bain, I should have known that you would not break your oath to me, and I should not have doubted where your heart lay nor the man you have become. I'm sorry." He turned to look at Sigrid. "My girl, you have become a young woman of far greater strength than I could ever have imagined. But I will never stop trying to protect you because you are my daughter. Only now I see that you need to be able to defend your own heart and protect those you love and that I must let you." The word of his wife came back to him and he smiled softly at her memory as he held his living children. "You mother once told me that the true joy of living is in living with others and allowing them to be a part of us and she was right. We need to start talking to each other again, sharing our grief and our joys together instead of hiding them inside ourselves."
Bain nodded and said something comforting to his Da that Sigrid didn't quite catch. Her mind had heard the words of her mother and followed her heart to Fíli; the one who had read the darkest corners of her soul and still wanted to know more. She needed to find him and hope that she hadn't pushed him too far away; that he would come back to her.
"Da," she said, lifting her head. "I need to go, there's someone I need to find."
Bard nodded. "But when you are done we need to have a talk about aiming arrows at Elven princes." Sigrid swallowed but there was a slight smirk to his words. But as Bard said it the true meaning of the love that Sigrid had spoken of protecting dawned on him and he frowned slightly. "Yes, I think you do have a lot of explaining to do about Princes in general."
Sigrid felt a heat creep up her neck but she did not try to hide it; gone were the days of hiding her heart.
Bard looked over her head and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to turn her about. "I don't think that you will need to search far to find the one you are looking for."
Sigrid turned and her eyes fell immediately upon a figure almost lost in the crowd but a figure she would recognize anywhere; Fíli.
Those around him realized that he was the destination of Sigrid's gaze and stepped aside as if to reveal him to her.
Sigrid searched his face; how much he heard, how much did he know? Did he know she had been the archer on Ravenhill, that her presence had not been an illusion? Had he heard her confess the reason why she had shot the Orc, the true reason why she could not have lived if she had not gone to warn him and his kin about the attack?
But Fíli's face was unreadable and Sigrid walked towards him with a mixture of determination and trepidation for surely all would soon be revealed but she did not know how he would respond.
AN:
Okay so this chapter was a bit harder to write, there were so many complex emotions and thought to depict, and most of it either internal or subtly expressed. I know that a few of you thought that Bard/Sigrid/Bain might respond in anger but I wanted show that perhaps after all that they had been through maybe they would be able put aside any anger. If you think that there was something I could have made clearer or something that didn't quite come across then please let me know. Thanks very much!
P.S There will be two more chapters after this one and then this story will come to an end.
Ithilya: Thank you, that is very kind! Yes the Figrid ship is certainly unexpected but no less wonderful. But the best thing about it for me has been that the shippers are such beautiful people.
Hobbitpony1: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I love Thorin and Thranduil together in a room together, though nothing will beat the dialogue they had in the book! Thank you for all your comments; they are always so lovely to read.
Dani: Just one word ;) Thanks!
kirallie: I hope this chapter answers your question!
Sofasoap: With such fiery characters there will always be fire but not on such a catastrophic scale. Thanks for your dedication to this story, I always look forward to your comments
Casema: So much sadness but it will either break them or build them stronger. Thanks so much for continuing to read this story!
Scififan33: Tilda died because war takes lives with cruel greed and after I saved Fíli Kíli and Thorin I felt that I needed to stay honest to that. But I hated doing it! Thanks for all the comments!
Lithriel23: What can I say; cliff-hangers are my speciality.
ElfieRose: I'm so sorry for making you cry but I'm glad you could still enjoy the story. Thanks for keeping up with it so far!
Christmas 95: Tilda's death was a necessary evil to portray the cruelty of war and to force the characters to question if it was necessary. But it was so hard to do! I love delving into characters that get a little sidelined. But I really loved how in the movie even though some of the characters only had small moments everything they said/did was meaningful.
Dustbunnyprophet: Yes Fíli is one of the most under-appreciated characters ever! But I guess that just gives us more fuel to be creative and fill in those gaps. Also, the thing that I have found is that the others works that I have read about Fíli tend to be written by people who are very insightful, so even though there isn't much out there, what has been written is very good.
Pitri: Thanks! This story has surprised me often with where it has gone so I hope it also surprises you (in a good way)
foreverily: Figrid shippers unite!
Kia'a Morris: The more Figrid the better!
If I have missed anyone in this post I'm super sorry but I will have to reply in the next one!