And here's another irregularly unscheduled update to this fic! Have I disclaimed the disclaimer? I own no characters but Anna, and the plot is an original work that may not be copied or reused without permission, and no money is being made off this work. There. All legal and stuff now.

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Anna walked into the barn and stopped dead. Instead of the enormous silver robot she had expected to see, an enormous Peterbuilt 379 was parked where Optimus had been lying before. "Whoa," she breathed, eyes wide as she slowly circled the gigantic vehicle, taking in every flame-painted, chrome-gleaming detail of the long-nosed semi. "You look… different."

"Good different?" Optimus asked, his deep voice rumbling from the semi and making her jump.

"Oh yeah," she said as she came back to the front again, grinning hugely. After seeing Jazz choose silver and Ironhide go with black, she'd expected Optimus to choose a similarly understated color palate–it seemed to make sense with the whole in disguise thing. Not so. Most of his hood was bright red with blue flames, and on the back end, red and orange flames flickered over a deep blue background. Finishing off the custom paint job, the bumper, smokestacks, grille, mirrors, gas tanks–everything that could possibly be chromed shone mirror-bright. As though showing off, suddenly all the running lights blazed and she whistled low in appreciation. If there was such a thing as a hot-rod semi, this was it. "Nice choice, big guy. Nice choice."

"I thought it was a bit flashy, myself," Ratchet said, leaning against the doorframe, but when Anna glanced over at him, he was actually smiling. Will wonders never cease, she thought dryly.

"Flashy?" she echoed, shaking her head. "Ratchet, you have seen him before, right? I'm pretty sure this counts as understated compared to his robot form." Optimus chuckled and damn, but it was strange to hear that coming from a semi. Still, she remembered how surprised all of them had been to hear him laugh and couldn't resist trying to make him do it again. Everyone needed to laugh. "Still, I would've thought you'd had enough of flames for a while," she teased.

He chuckled again just as she'd hoped he would. "I trust you'll put me out again if they start to spread."

Anna grinned, delighted that he was teasing back. "I don't think my fire extinguisher would do much good. This thing's hot, Optimus."

"Hey, getting jealous over here. Why don't you tell me I'm hot?" Jazz complained, waving an arm at himself in a gesture that clearly invited her to appreciate the goods. "Sweet speedy little sports car right here, human! Don't femmes go for that kind of thing on your planet?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes at him. "Sorry, Jazz," she said, making little effort to actually sound all that sorry–all right, so hearing that he'd talked Ratchet out of locking her up definitely counted in his favor, but still, that gun in her face was going to take some getting over. "Some do, but I'm not one of them. Did you see what was in my driveway when you got here? I'm a Texan girl through and through and that means I like my trucks." Ironhide grinned and Jazz crossed his arms with a huff.

"Why? Trucks are just so… ugh, bulky," he grumbled.

"Powerful," she corrected.

"Loud," Jazz went on as though he hadn't heard her.

Anna hummed in agreement. "Not a downside," she said, and Optimus revved his powerful engine, making her jump and then laugh.

"Slow," he persisted, and she laughed again.

"Not the way I drive 'em."

"I can attest to that," Ironhide chimed in dryly.

"Come on, you think either one of these guys–" Jazz made a wide gesture that took in Optimus and Ironhide both, "–could outrun me?"

Anna tapped her chin. "Hmm… well, I'm willing to bet that they've got something more under the hood than the vehicles they imitated, but maybe not," she conceded. When he started to gloat, however, she held up a finger. "But they could flatten you and then haul your chassis home, and that's always a bonus."

Jazz groaned and threw up his hands. "You're hopeless, human, just hopeless."

Ironhide laughed again and punched Jazz's shoulder. "Face it, short stuff, she's got too much taste to drool over you."

She took pity on him. "Look around you–this is a ranch. My vehicles have to work, too. Why do you think I have that truck Ironhide scanned? I used it to haul cattle to auction, or bring feed back, or transport that–" she gestured at the tractor she'd used to drag Optimus into the barn, "on a trailer, or run the pastures without getting bogged down in the mud. What good is a sports car going to do me out here? No, you're pretty enough, but give me a truck any day."

Optimus popped open his passenger door. "Want to see the rest?" he invited, and Anna was already climbing in before he'd even finished the question.

The door closed behind her as soon as she was inside but she hardly noticed as she examined everything. The interior was just as tricked out as the rest, and Anna couldn't stop herself from laughing at the flame-details on the blue and red leather of the doors and seat-covers. "You really went all-out," she said approvingly, running her hand over the chrome dials covering a good portion of the dash. "Bit of a show-off, are we?"

"But of course. I'm the Prime. I'm supposed to stand out," he replied smugly, his voice coming from the interior speakers now that she was inside.

"Yeah, well, mission accomplished, big guy." She craned her neck to see into the sleeper behind her. "Hey, you've even got pillows and sheets on the bed and everything. You really don't miss a trick, do you?"

"We can't afford to," he said, and she could practically hear the smile. "Like I told you, we hide in plain sight, and that only works if we're attuned to all the details. If someone looks closely, we have to have gotten everything right."

"Well, people are going to look closely at you, and that's a fact," she assured him. "I've never seen a semi like this. Did a truck just like this really drive by for you to scan or did you come up with the paint and details and everything on your own?"

"Bit of both," he said, sounding pleased by her praise. "I'm glad you like it."

Anna considered toning it down a bit–she didn't want to gush over him like an idiot, but then again, she'd handled the alien robot thing pretty well. If she got a little excited over his vehicle form, well, she'd cut herself some slack. "I more than like it. Semis have always been so cool to me. I wanted to be a truck driver when I was sixteen–my father talked me out of it, though. Said it would be a waste of my brains not to pursue the STEM fields."

"I'm glad he did, just from a purely selfish point of view," Optimus told her, then added, "Stem?"

She smiled. "Yeah, I suppose I made the right career choice after all," she agreed. "Oh, and STEM stands for science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. There are not a whole lot of women in those fields and I had a shot at some good scholarships." Then she glanced back into the sleeper again. "Can I go back there?"

"Feel free." Anna was out of the passenger seat and exploring the sleeper compartment almost before he finished the second word. "Why aren't there women in the STEM fields?"

"Sexism, mostly," she said as she opened closets–those were empty–and poked gently at the mattress. "Science has always been dominated by men, kind of like everything else. It can be hard for a woman to get taken seriously. It's getting better, but I'd be lying to you if I said I've never encountered the glass ceiling–oh, the glass ceiling means an invisible barrier that keeps a woman from reaching the top levels of her field. Men with less experience getting promoted before women, that sort of thing."

"That's stupid," Optimus said flatly. "What does gender have to do with intelligence or capability?"

"Not a thing, but it helps them maintain the boys' club mentality to pretend that it matters," she replied, liking him even more for that. Then a new thought struck her. "Hey, what's it feel like to have someone moving around inside you when you're a truck?" she asked, feeling a bit odd about it herself but far too fascinated to want to get out until he asked her to.

"Barely feel it unless I'm trying," he said, which explained why Ironhide hadn't reacted to her kicking earlier. She bounced on the mattress and he chuckled. "All right, I felt that. I thought only human sparklings–ah, I mean children, jumped on the bed."

"Everyone who knows what fun is jumps on the bed. Growing older is mandatory, growing up is optional," she told him as she stretched out on the bunk. It really was nice–if she didn't know this was some kind of alien equivalent material, she'd have said it was a good quality memory foam mattress. It cradled her in perfect comfort. She sat back up again quickly. "Oh, I better not do that. This is way more comfortable than my bed. I'll fall asleep if I'm not careful."

"Go ahead," Optimus told her. "You've certainly earned it, and I'm going nowhere. Ratchet's confined me to alt-mode for the next six hours–something about letting the repairs settle, and he said your sample is taking longer than he anticipated to prepare. There's nothing to be done right now. We both might as well rest."

Anna was tempted, but it didn't feel quite right to sleep inside her new friend. Something about that was just… a bit too weird, and she didn't want to impose on him. "Thanks, but I'm not sleepy," she lied, starting to get up.

But before she could, two straps flew out of the wall behind the mattress and snaked around her. "Yes, you are. You've been awake more than a full solar cycle taking care of me and you need to recharge–get some sleep," he corrected himself as the straps tugged her back down onto the bed.

Anna was alarmed at first, but then she noticed that the straps–seatbelts, she saw now, probably for if one person was sleeping while the other drove–weren't actually tight enough to restrain her. He was urging her to lie down, not forcing her to do so. She could get out of this hold without much effort if she actually wanted to. "Is this a conspiracy?" she asked, allowing him to pull her back onto the soft surface. "Delay the Energon sample, lure the gullible human into your lair, and tie her to a bed? Because I have to warn you, we have names on Earth for that sort of thing, and most of them start with felony."

Optimus laughed again–she was truly beginning to love that sound, especially knowing how rare it was for him. "Yes, it was a conspiracy," he admitted shamelessly. "But one with the very best of intentions. You are under our protection for the time being, Anna, and that means your wellbeing is important to us. Ratchet and Ironhide are both concerned about your fatigue, and I am, too. Humor me," he added when she drew a breath, clearly anticipating that she was about to argue. "You don't want to miss anything–I can understand that. Rest here and nothing can happen without you knowing about it. You've taken such good care of me. Let me take care of you in return for a little while."

And how was she supposed to argue with that? His genuine concern erased the strangeness of the situation and Anna sighed and relaxed onto the mattress. Sensing her surrender, the seatbelts retracted. "You know, you're sneaky, but I wouldn't have fallen for that if I wasn't already half asleep," she told him, determined to salvage a little bit of her pride.

"Never doubted it for an instant," Optimus assured her, and when she snorted, he chuckled. "Go to sleep. I promise to wake you before I transform. I wouldn't want to eject you through the windshield–they're so annoying to replace." Anna punched the bed and he laughed at her, and the warmth of the sound lulled her almost immediately to sleep.

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Can't forget to thank my lovely reviewers! HeartsGuardianSol, Teddy Bear 007 (yeah, we gotta give her a break from time to time, right?), Amelia St. Claire (thank you! I adore Ironhide, I just wanna hug him up), Lunessa Mysteria (Ratchet is sort of a very untrusting mother hen, isn't he), lil-B (thank you!), Answerthecall (thanks! I love hearing that people laugh at the bits I intended to be funny), Muirgen79 (I'm weaning the Muse off schmoop right now and getting her back on a diet of solid plot), oliviaxoxo1230 (thank you!), Guest (aww, thank you for saying that! keeping people's interest even when things aren't exploding is awesome), and Counting Sinful Stars x 6! Yes indeed, Optimus is a sexy beast and THAT VOICE Y'ALL... *faints* Oh yeah, he's a sexy truck and he knows he's a sexy truck. Yup.

Thanks for reviewing, all, and I look forward to hearing from you again!

(PS-again, Optimus is totally NOT flirting with Anna. At all. Nope. Not even a teensy bit of flirting, and he doesn't understand why anyone would ever think otherwise.)