Waiting on a Woman by Brad Paisley.
Summary: smile and deal because you don't mind.
Disclaimer: no, i don't.
Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
"You waitin' on a woman?"
I sat there, annoyed. Clara was over three hours late. She'd promised that she, along with our twins Lilly and Lilac, would be back by noon. It was three! And she wasn't here. You know, I think I'm more anxious then annoyed. My wife, of two years, was missing and had been for three hours. She wasn't answering her phone, and I'd left about a million voicemails on there. She just wasn't here.
I ran my hand through through my hair as I landed on the bench with a thud and sighed. Footsteps, the sound of heavy boots stepping on leaves and concrete, came closer to me. They weren't Clara's.
The person who belonged to the footsteps sat down on the bench beside me. I looked up then to see an older gentleman,maybe in his late fifties, grinning at me.
"Derek Souza, son. And you are?"
"Johnny Tompson, sir." I said, confused as to why he was talking to me.
"You waiting on a woman?" The gleam in his eyes said he already knew, that he knew what it was like.
I nodded yes and said, "how 'bout you?"
He said, "Son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman.
I sat back, resting against the metal of the bench and grinned. "Yeah, supposedly, she was supposed to be here three hours ago. How long have you been waiting?"
"Today? Since about nine in the morning. Since I've known her? About forty years." I just shook my head, wondering how he could deal with waiting for so long.
"When I picked her up for our first date,
I told her I'd be there at eight.
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said, 'I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on'
But let me tell you son, she sure looked pretty.
Derek went on to say, "You know, on our first date, she was thirty minutes late. My sister had gone over two hours earlier to help her and she didn't come down the stairs until about eight thirty." I choked on my spit as he grinned at my face. "She had blushed when I told her how long waited and had begun to stammer apologies. Telling me that Tori and Liz, along with her friend Rae hadn't liked a thing she'd tried on. However, let me tell you Johnny-boy, she looked beautiful."
"Yeah, she'll take her time, but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman."
He said, "the wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman"
"We were married about three years later, and even then, she was five minutes late for the ceremony."
I shook my head in sympathy for the poor man. He was stood up so many times, he must have felt unloved.
"How did you deal with that stand?" I ask him as he grins, like he's remembering something.
"Simply chewed my sister out during the reception when Chloe wasn't around to defend her." I grinned back at him, liking him more and more.
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, "I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman"
Derek grinned back at me and slung his arm along the back of the bench. I turned on my side, ready to hear more of his story. He nudged my arm with his hand closest to me and leaned in, his eyes glinting.
"However, our honeymoon? That was more the perfect." I threw my head back and laughed, my entire body shaking. Derek chuckled, his laugh deep and rich as he joins in.
"And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it."
We talked some more, going on about different circumstances, different times in which we had been waiting.
"I think Clara does it just because she knows she'll get away with it." I stay at one point.
"You know, I don't think Chloe, as humble and eager to please as she is, is exempt from that rule." We laughed at that.
"Boy, it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time, 'cause you don't mind,
Waitin' on a woman."
"As funny as it is sometimes, it's so aggravating." I groan and roll my neck, stretching it out.
"It's simply a fact of life." Derek patted my hand in sympathy. "But just remember this, she'll take her time, and you'll let her, because you don't mind."
I nodded and shot him a smile as I rolled my unused joints after having sat in a position for so long.
I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready.
We talked a little more, when Derek pulled out his phone and looked something up.
"You know, even science agrees." He flipped his phone at around so I could see what he was talking about.
The Likely-Hood of Dieing before Your Spouse
was the title. I scanned over it, the statistics, the paragraph, the comments. I pulled away, letting him know I'd finished reading.
"Girls will die after men, it's the sad truth. However, it makes sense. There is no way they'll be ready by the time we're ready to pass on." I nod emphatically.
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.
"So, I guess that, when we do pass on," I gesture to the window, as if it was the afterlife "We just find a bench like this one wait?" I pat our seat
Derek nods, "That's exactly what we do."
Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.
"Hey boys!" Clara comes walking in, Lilly and Lilac clutching th hands of a blonde I don't recognize. The blonde is followed by a black haired girl who looks like one of those Bratz dolls.
"Hey." I nod my head in acknowledgement. The blonde drops the hands of my girls, who immediately pout. She sighs, picks up Lilly and puts her on her up while she pulls Lilac to her side.
"Sorry, Der." She says, smiling apologetically at Derek. That's when I begin to take in small details. Like, the silver streaks that line her hair and the wrinkles that are starting to show in her flawless skin.
"Johnny, son, this is the woman I've been telling you about." He gets up and walks over to the blonde. Kissing her cheek, she giggles as he puts his face in her hair, like this is normal. I raise my eyebrows at the act, but don't question it aloud. "Chloe, meet Johnny. Johnny, meet my wife, Chloe Souza."
Chloe smiles, "Clara has told me so much about you."
We chat for a bit before we split up, Clara and I peeling Lilly and Lilac off Chloe.
"So, you're not mad at me?" Clara asks as we walk to the car. "Are you upset at me that I made you wait so long?"
I think about the bench, Derek and Chloe, about the long three hour wait, about my talk with Derek.
"Nah. In fact, I'm perfectly fine with it."
Done! I'm amazing! And publishing this at midnight, but done all the same!
-Jo