Hey there guys! Detailed A.N towards the end as usual. For now…
Thank you for reviewing tsukinopen ,grandshadowseal, madeyemoody95, Hikary Sanoko , myzticmoon and the guest reviewers! Please write down your names so I can thank you personally!
But I do want to specially thank Papa Franku who reviewed, 'Kill Yourself'. Why so serious Papa Franku? Although I take any kind of review/criticism gracefully, at least login next time and review so I can respond to your heart warming review. Much appreciated.
Anyways also thanks to everyone who added Road to Parenthood as favorite story, story alert and added me under author alert, favorite author. I really appreciate it!
Sorry to disappoint but this is not the visit from the dead chapter, more on that at the end.
Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto.
Road to Parenthood : All the Papas in the House!
"That should be enough for all of us." Naruto said as he placed the groceries down on the kitchen table.
"Don't you think that's a little too much for just the five of us?" Sasuke asked as he placed the remaining bags Naruto handed over to him when he answered the door.
"Five of us? What are you talking about. Half these bags are just for Chouji." Naruto laughed.
"Chouji?" Sasuke asked a bit confused.
Naruto looked around to face him, "Sasuke please don't tell me you still haven't learnt their names. I mean seriously what possible excuse do you still have after all these years?"
"That I don't care?"
"Not a good enough excuse. How do you manage to meet these guys often at get together without remembering their names really baffles me." Naruto said as he placed out one item after the other from the bags.
"I know who Chouji is you idiot. I'm just asking why is he going to be here?"
"I invited all of them." Naruto said engrossed in emptying the bags. "I told you that didn't I?"
"No." Sasuke said with a straight face.
"Oh. My bad. Since all our wives are out on missions I thought it would be a good idea to call them all over." Naruto said.
"Why do I have a feeling you misused your Hokage status to deliberately give all our wives a mission at the same time."
"I won't deny being a Hokage has its own set of benefits no one talks about, but no I didn't do it deliberately. The mission required medical ninja's and I appointed Sakura-chan as the captain for the team and she just happens to take others along." Naruto said.
"Yeah right." Sasuke mocked.
Naruto took out a packet of potpourri. "Why did I buy this for?"
He showed it to Sasuke. "Is this some mixed ingredients for soup or something?"
"It's potpourri usurantokonchi. It is used for fragrance. "
"Oh. Well looks delicious." Naruto said and took a deep sniff. "Smells delicious too."
"So where are the kids staying?" Sasuke asked as he seated himself next to the table.
"Here. Where else?"
"They are all getting their kids too?"
"Well yeah."
"I'm leaving." Sasuke said and lifted himself up from the chair. "I'll pick up Sarada tomorrow in the morning."
"huh what?" Naruto said and saw Sasuke pacing towards the door. " Oye Sasuke!" He said and ran past him and slammed himself at the door before Sasuke could open it. "You are not going anywhere."
"I don't think so. Move."
"I'm doing this for you!"
"For me?"
"Well..not really..but you need to make more friends. It can't be just Sakura-chan and me."
"I talk to Hinata."
"Yeah sure."
"What I know her!"
"Oh really? Is that why last week you suddenly remembered about another guy with a Byakugan and asked her where he was?"
"hmm wait, I know this one.. hmm Neji. Neji!"
"Yeah you remember his name now. You asked her where her dead brother was after nearly a decade!"
"Okay I don't know every detail of her life. I think I should get some credit for even remembering the guy back from our genin days."
"Make. New. Friends."
Sasuke just looked on giving it a serious consideration.
"If Sai can turn from a trained robot to a human with feelings, so can you. And if you are really nice he will lend you his 'How to make friends for dummies' book as well."
"I'd love 'How to unfriend a dummy' book instead."
"Funny." Naruto said and dragged him in the house again. "Help me with dinner will you."
"Fine."
"Chouji don't finish the snacks we bought for everyone else." Shikamaru said.
Chouji , Shikamaru and Sai were walking towards Naruto's house. Their kids namely - Chouchou, Shikadai and Inojin walked a little ahead of them.
"Chouchou you shouldn't have snacks before dinner." Inojin said.
"So what? I skipped going with Anko sensei for a buffet for this dinner! It better be good." She responded stuffing her face with more chips.
"How do you have so much space in your stomach. You are just getting fa.."
"DID I HEAR SOMETHING!" Chouji roared from the behind.
"Hai hai calm down Chouji, he meant.." Shikamaru was cut off.
"Fat." Sai completed. "He was going to say fat."
A second later Shikamaru was struggling to protect a clueless Sai from a furious Chouji. "She is not fat! She is just pleasantly plump!"
The children looked over at their parents and their shenanigans.
"How troublesome." Shikadai sighed.
"There aaaand done!" Naruto said as he triumphantly smiled at his food creation. Sasuke walked over and looked at the bowl.
"Salad. You made salad." Sasuke said indifferently. "You took all this time to make Salad!"
"Well I'm not an expert at it. But at least I made one faster than you did.." Naruto said. Sasuke didn't quite get his comment.
"And there she is." Naruto said as Sarada a.k.a Salad walked in the room.
"You moron." Sasuke said and smacked him in the head with a wooden spoon. Naruto chuckled.
"What are you'll doing?" Sarada asked and seated herself on the dining table chair.
"Look I made salad." Naruto said and showed her the bowl. She stretched her neck and examined the preparation and tasted it. "I've had better."
"She is your creation alright." Naruto said as he looked at a smirking Sasuke. "Thanks." Naruto said dryly to Sarada.
"You're welcome." She responded.
"Where is Bolt?" Naruto asked chopping some onions.
"He is applying make up."
"What?" Naruto said and scrapped off skin from his finger in the process. "God damn it!" He said and rushed to the sink and placed his hand under running water.
"Why is he applying make up?" He asked trying to look at Sarada from over his shoulder.
"He is applying it on Himawari. She said she wants to look pretty for Inojin."
"Oh okay." Naruto said and gave a sigh of relief. "Wait..what?"
Suddenly the door bell rang. Multiple times.
"Chouchou stop ringing it so many times. They will go deaf!" Inojin slapped her hand off the bell.
"But I'm hungry!" She complained.
"Can I just go home dad?" Shikadai looked over at Shikamaru and asked. He just nodded no in response.
"YATAAA!" Bolt rushed down the stairs. "They are here!" he raced towards the door.
"Bolt! Don't be so loud." Naruto shouted back.
"Don't bring down my jam bro." Bolt said and snapped his fingers three times in the air.
"What the..?" Naruto looked baffled at Sasuke who was laughing away. "What is he wearing? Loose jeans, T-shirt reaching his knees, a turned around cap and is that..is that a golden necklace?"
Bolt opened the door and welcomed his guests in.
"Yo Shika. Wassup man?" Bolt said and gave him a side hug.
"Yo Inojin, What's happening dude?" And continued the pattern.
"Yo Ch.."
"Shut up or I'll eat you." Chouchou said and walked in. The others followed.
"What is going on?" Naruto asked to no one in particular.
"Bolt is trying to start a trend he calls the "Gansta"." Sarada explained.
"He sounds and looks like a retard." Naruto said disapprovingly.
"So he seems the same."Sarada said and jumped off the chair and joined her friends.
Shikamaru, Chouji and Sai walked towards the table and place their snacks and a bottle of wine as a customary etiquette.
"Aaa thanks, did you get the sauce?" Naruto asked Shikamaru.
"Hai." He responded.
Sasuke awkwardly turned around to face them and gave a vague smile. The other three just looked at him blankly before Sai spoke, "Your fake smile is getting better. Just a little more wide and you could fool us."
Silence.
"Thanks?" Sasuke said unsure if his observation was sincere or was it just a taunt. Sai just smiled back.
"So what's for dinner?" Chouji asked curious.
"We have some extravagant homemade salad." Naruto said and very cockily presented the bowl. He raised his eyebrows multiple times in an attempt to ask how it is with a smug smile on his face.
"That's it? Tell me there is more. TELL ME THERE IS MORE!" Chouji said and held Naruto's collar.
"Ai ai Chouji calm down." Naruto said defensively.
Sasuke placed a few dishes on the table. Chouji looked at the impressive presentation of dishes - soup, rice, meat and pickles.
"Sasuke..you made these?" Chouji asked loosening his grip on Naruto's collar.
"Aa." Sasuke responded.
Chouji tasted it and his eyes grew wide in surprise. "That's delicious. Thank you Sasuke." Chouji said and walked over to him pushing back Sai in the process. Chouji hugged Sasuke in a tight bear hug.
"I've been missing homemade food ever since Karui went to visit her parents." Chouji said placing his head on Sasuke's shoulder in gratitude.
Sasuke was stunned. He didn't know how to respond to this physical act of gratitude. He just stood there still, not sure if he should return the hug. His eyes just looked at the other three asking what to do. Naruto gestured he should hug him back.
Sasuke just made a face. And Naruto could read his expressions. 'No way in hell am I hugging him back.'
Naruto gave a stern look back. 'Make new friends.'
'Come on.'
Naruto widened his eyes. 'Do it IT!'
Sasuke just rolled his eyes. 'Fine!'
Sasuke lifted his left hand and patted Chouji on the back, "There there."
The three just looked at Sasuke's failed attempt at being friendly.
"Hey I helped too!" Naruto said.
"Salad doesn't count." Shikamaru said placed the salad bowl aside in support.
"I am not eating that." Chouji said as he withdrew himself from Sasuke.
"Even a monkey can make a salad." Sai added.
"Yeah like Sasuke." Naruto said and gave out a laugh. No one joined and just looked on. "You know like, Sasuke made Sarada, Sarada is you know salad.."
"The monkey needs to shut up now." Sasuke said.
The other three laughed and Chouji gave a pat on Sasuke's back. Sasuke looked at the sudden support and smirked.
'What the hell.' Naruto thought to himself.
Suddenly they hear footsteps slowly descending down the stairs. Naruto could see his precious daughter wearing a purple dress and slowly walking down, all eyes were on her. She walks down with her face covered with a scarf.
Bolt nudges Shikadai to look at her. Himawari quietly stands next to Inojin.
"H..hii Inojin-kun." She said and twiddled with her index fingers in anxiety.
"Himawari-chan? Why are you covering your face?" Inojin asked.
"hmm well hmm I came..dressed."
"Oh." Inojin said and looked around to see his friends. They all just looked with a raised eyebrow. Bolt gestured him to lift the scarf.
"Hmm well why don't you show us then?" Inojin said hesitantly.
"hmm o..okay." Himawari said.
"Bolt." Naruto called out from behind hoping this is not one of his pranks.
"Chill out bro." Bolt said and gave out a peace sign with his fingers.
"That little.." Naruto narrowed his eyes at him. Himawari slowly lifted her scarf, everyone's eyes were on her. Their eyes grew wider as the scarf showcased her face.
Himawari showed her face completely. Everyone was stunned. Red lipstick was scribbled across her lips forming a pattern across her cheeks like The Joker, powder dashed on her face unevenly creating white patches all over, pink dabs of blush across her red lipsticked cheek and to top it off black eyeliner across her eyes drawn in blotches, one eye thin one eye thick like a baby caterpillar chasing its mommy.
No one said a word.
"So, how ..how do I look?" Himawari asked blinking her eyes expectantly.
"Your hommie made that masterpiece." Bolt bragged to Shikadai, who just gave a thumbs up and made a weird face after Bolt looked away.
"So?" Himawari asked again.
"You..you look beautiful sweetheart." Naruto finally spoke.
"This is the shit bro." Bolt said and held his crotch with one hand and swayed his other hand in the air.
"You need to stop doing that." Sarada told Bolt.
"Or what beyotch?" Bolt said with a smug face.
"Okay that's it." Naruto walked towards them. "Bolt go change. And Wari, honey, why don't you go change as well?"
"But I look pretty, like a princess." Himawari protested.
"Hmm well yes, yes you do but hmm these other girls here, Sarada-chan and Chouchou-chan feel bad that..they..ahh don't look like a princess like you. They feel sad. Don't you girls?" Naruto looked at the two mentioned and hoped for support.
"Yeah totally." Sarada said.
Then they looked at Chouchou who was busy sucking the left over barbecue flavor stuck under her nails from the chips. Sarada nudged her with her elbow.
"Hey what!" Chouchou asked.
"You feel sad that you don't look like a princess like Himawari-chan right?" Naruto repeated.
"What? Hell no!" Chouchou said with a disgusted face.
Sarada widened her eye asking her to play along.
"Gosh fine fine. Yeah I'm so jealous. I just might cry." Chouchou said and rolled her eyes.
"See." Naruto said and looked at his daughter.
Himawari looked down and contemplated the situation. She didn't want anyone to cry because of her. She looked at Inojin and asked, "You think I look pretty?"
"Hmm.." Inojin said in a fix.
Naruto looked at him and frowned in request.
Inojin sighed. "Hmm yeah Himawari-chan you look beautiful."
Himawari's eyes grew wide. 'Beautiful?' She jumped beside Inojin and crossed her arm over his. "Then I'll keep it. Inojin-kun thinks I'm beautiful."
"Hmm okay?" Sarada said and gave an awkward smile.
"Oh no! What will I do now! How to I fix my broken heart…oh I know. Where is the food." Chouchou said and looked Naruto straight in the eye.
"Th..the that way." Naruto said and pointed towards the dining table. Himawari dragged Inojin with her towards the table, Inojin looked behind from his shoulder at Naruto and Sarada pleading for help. They just looked at him helplessly.
"Ahem ahem." Bolt coughed from behind Naruto and Sarada. "Yo nigga."
Naruto turned around and looked at him, "Bolt, stop it."
"Whats the big deal yo." Bolt said and folded his arms.
"Go change."
"No-ttebasa."
"Now-ttebayo."
"You can't make me-ttebasa."
"Right now-ttebayo."
"Na ah. Not happening-ttebasa"
"Oh you will-ttebayo!"
"Make me-ttebasa!"
Bolt ran from in between Naruto's legs and jumped over the sofa and bounced behind it.
"BOLT!" Naruto said and ran after him.
Bolt ran behind Chouchou who had already grabbed a plate stuffed with food. "This salad is not that bad." She said chewing the cucumber.
Bolt held Chouchou by her shoulders and tried to confuse Naruto which direction he was going to run towards.
"Hey hey careful. Food on the plate." Chouchou warned.
"Bolt get back here!" Naruto shouted.
"Hey dad knock knock." Bolt said.
"What?" Naruto said confused.
"Who is there?" Sai asked. The others looked at Sai. "What? I read it is customary to respond with 'Who is there?' to a knock knock joke."
"Justin." Bolt responded.
"Justin who?" Sai responded mechanically. They looked at him again. "Why do you keep looking at me?" Sai asked confused.
"JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER!" Bolt said and slapped Chouchou's plate upwards at Naruto's face.
"NOOOOOOO!" Chouchou yelped. She knelt down and stared at the empty plate, hot tears rolling down her face. "I..I..I shall avenge you."
"GOD DAMN IT!" Naruto said being blind sided with mayo and hot soup on his face.
Bolt ran across the hall and grabbed a bowl placed on one of the side tables, it was filled with water and artificial flowers floating on it. Meanwhile Naruto wiped the food off his face.
"Don't you think we should help him?" Chouji asked the other three as he chewed on some celery.
"We should." Sai said.
"But it's too troublesome." Shikamaru said.
"So we won't?" Chouji asked.
"Hn." Sasuke confirmed.
"Bolt I'm warning you." Naruto said. "Put that bowl down."
"Or what?" Bolt challenged.
"That's it." Naruto said and signed his hands together. "Kage Bunshin." And made one replica of himself. "Where will you run now?" Naruto said with a smirk and marched at Bolt.
Bolt ran with the bowl and the kage bunshin leaped at Bolt and tugged him down. Bolt fell with force having to let go of the bowl in process, the water of which splashed on Himawari's face.
"Aaaahhhhh!" Himawari screamed. "MY MAKEUP!" she said and felt her face with her fingers, which were filled with black eyeliner dripping down.
She looked over at Inojin. Inojin was horrified at the sight, she looked like the doll from conjuring – Annabelle only worse with her mascara flowing down.
"Do I still look pretty?" She asked Inojin.
"Ahh hmm..yes..hmm beau..beautiful." Inojin gulped.
"Oh. Okay." She said and smiled, her teeth having red lipstick marks. She tightens her grip around his hand.
Bolt turned around and kicked the bunshin and POOF it went. He got up and ran towards the dining table and jumped over it.
"Bolt get down from there!" Naruto roared.
"Ain't no party like a gansta party cause a gansta party DON'T STOP!" Bolt said and tried his hip hop moves over the table. He suddenly tripped over his loose jeans and fell over the table, in an attempt to regain some balance he grabbed the table cloth but in no vain, he slid down the table along with the cloth along with all the dishes placed over it. Everything crashed over his head.
All the kids rushed at the spot to see the mess. Chouji and Chouchou gave the loudest gasps amongst all.
"Okay that's it." Sasuke said and grabbed Bolt by the collar and lifted him up. "You're done."
Naruto rushed at the scene and gave a loud sigh. "Couldn't you just have helped me stop him before?" Naruto asked Sasuke.
"And miss all the fun?" Sasuke said.
"And the food." Chouji said wiping off his tears.
"Papa." Chouchou said and hugged her dad. They embraced and consoled each other like someone had passed away. Sasuke just looked at them with a raised eyebrow.
"You are coming with me." Naruto said and grabbed Bolt by the arm. Naruto looked at his sad state and grabbed noodles off of Bolt's head and shoulders and put it in the sink and gave a disappointed look. Bolt just looked away not making eye contact.
Naruto made his way towards the washroom and whispered to Sasuke, "Can you take care of Himawari please?"
Sasuke hesistated but nodded his head.
"What do we eat now?" Shikadai asked.
"Let's order something." Inojin suggested.
"You are so smart Inojin-kun!"Himawari said and hugged his arm tighter. Inojin adjusted his arm uncomfortably.
"Himawari." Sasuke said and knelt down to her height. "Why don't you go change too?"
"But..but why?" Himawari asked.
"Well because your face…"
"Because Bolt is going to change too. He doesn't want to, but if you change as well and look beautiful like you normally do your brother won't feel left out and he will feel better." Sarada said cutting off Sasuke's blunt words midway.
Sasuke looked at Sarada. Himawari looked down upset, "I don't want to let Ni-san feel left alone." Himawari said and looked at Inojin to help her with her dilemma.
"I think you should help your brother too." Inojin said with a reassuring smile. Himawari looked at him with a forced smile.
"You would look beautiful even without the makeup." Inojin said pushing his luck.
Himawari smiled back and nodded her head. "Okay!"
"Come let me help you." Sarada said and lifted her hand for Himawari to hold. They started walked towards her room. Sasuke mouthed a silent "Thank you" at Sarada to which she just blinked.
Sasuke stood up next to Inojin and looked at the girls walking away.
"Girls.." Sasuke said and sighed.
"Tell me about it." Inojin said and shook his head in distress.
Meanwhile Naruto and Bolt entered the bathroom.
"hmm Dad?" Bolt said.
"Take off your clothes." Naruto deadpanned. Bolt did so without any argument.
Naruto made Bolt stand in the tub under the shower. He turned the knob and the water gushed out. Naruto adjusted the shower head and directed it at Bolt's head. The water drained off the food residue from his hair and body and partially clogged the drain. Naruto ran his fingers in Bolt's head to remove any food that might be stuck. He did all this in silence. Bolt could feel the tension in the air.
"Dad.."
"Hmm"
"DAD!"
"What is it?"
"I'm sorry."
"The purpose of forgiving is lost if you keep pulling such pranks and apologizing."
"But ..but wasn't it funny!"Bolt said trying to sound enthusiastic.
"That was food you wasted Bolt. That's not funny." Naruto said with a straight face.
Bolt's face slowly lost its charm, he concluded "I'm sorry."
"Okay."
"Dad please! Punish me if you have to! Ground me! Shout at me! But please don't not speak to me-ttebasa!" Bolt cried out.
Naruto looked at him. He held the detachable shower spray and aimed it at Bolt's face and sprayed it at him.
"Enough with the drama nigga." Naruto taunted.
Bolt gave out a yelp and chuckled. "You sound retarded dad."
"Well I'm glad we agree." Naruto said and sprayed the water at a faster speed.
"Oh you are getting it back bro." Bolt said and collected water in a cup and poured it at Naruto's head helping to cleanse the soup and salad residue. They had a quick water war helping to clean each other up.
Bolt and Naruto walked down the stairs. They notice Shikamaru attend the food delivery man at the door. A makeup free Himawari rushed towards Bolt and held his hand, "Nii-san! You are not alone!" She said and pulled him towards his other friends. Bolt followed with a confused look.
Naruto walked over Sasuke and thanked him for the help. Sasuke shook his head in disapproval and pointed his finger at Sarada, "She took care of it."
Naruto laughed, "Should have known."
Shikamaru came over with the parcels and placed it on the table. "Dig in." He announced.
"Sorry everyone for the trouble." Naruto added as they all seated themselves around the table. "Right Bolt?"
"Hmm.." Bolt looked away and scratched the back of his head.
"Bolt." Naruto stressed.
"Sorry." Bolt said in a low tone.
"It's okay kid." Chouji smiled and brushed Bolt's hair. Bolt returned the smile.
"Your dad would do such things all the time at your age." Chouji continued.
"Hey! I never wasted food." Naruto protested.
"What about the time you tried to throw stale instant ramen at The Third Hokage during his academy visit?" Shikamaru asked.
"Well they were stale. I was trying to make use of it." Naruto tried to justify.
"And the time you threw soup at Kakashi?" Sasuke asked.
"Hey that was because we wanted to see his face!" Naruto argued.
"Did you see Kakashi-san's face?!" Sarada asked curious.
"Nope, not till date." Sasuke confirmed.
"Well let's not forget about the time Chouji had threatened to eat up Kiba once when he snatched away his chips packet." Naruto reminded them.
"IT WAS BARBECUE FLAVOR!" Chouji shouted.
"It is justified then." Chouchou supported her dad.
"The best moment I can think of is when Naruto got punched by Sakura because I called her ugly." Sai said.
There was silence in the room with the sudden unanticipated change in topic.
"That was because you called Ino beautiful and Sakura-chan ugly!" Naruto clarified.
"Good times." Sai said with a smile.
"That can't be considered a good time!" Naruto said.
"And then Chouji broke down the barbecue shop because I called him fa…"
"Sai! Pass the plates would you?" Naruto shouted and tried to stop Sai from repeating the same mistake.
"Here." Sai said and passed the plates. "Like I was saying Chouji broke down the barbecue shop because I called him fa…"
Naruto slammed his palm over Sai's mouth. "Sense the tone Sai! Sense. The. Tone."
"Gosh fat! Dad is fat. Let's just get it out there and get it over with so we can eat !"Chouchou said impatiently.
"How troublesome." Both Shikamaru and Shikadai said it simultaneously. They looked at each other for a second before everyone gave out a laugh.
Himawari who was seated next to Inojin grabbed his arm and asked with beady eyes, "Isn't this the best date ever?"
"Hmm yeah, sure." Inojin said with a strange discomfort as he adjusted his collar.
"Okay everyone has a plate?" Naruto said and looked around to confirm. "Okay let's dig in then!"
"ITADAKIMASU!" Bolt shouted and broke his chopstick in two.
"ITADAKIMASU!" Everyone else cheered after.
A.N : Yo yo yo whats happening hommies! I wanted to write a chapter with all the Pappas in the House! Hope you liked it!
So as for the personality of the children I made the following conclusions.
Shikadai – I think is pretty much like Shikamaru.
Chouchou – I don't think she is sensitive about her weight at all. If you read Chapter 700 too Inojin called her fat and she didn't give a shit about it. So yeah I think she is pretty self assured.
Inojin – I think he might be the shy womanizer. Polite and obedient.
Himawari – I think she does have Hinata's shy traits but not to the extent of fainting. I think she is shy and conscious about herself but isn't afraid to approach anyone, like her dad. So she isn't loud like Naruto but not fainting like Hinata either.
You guys might not agree to all the deductions I've made but I hope it's acceptable. What do you think their personality would be like?
As for the visit from the dead chapter, it will most likely be the 10th chapter. That is next to next. Right now I have a few ideas about visits from the living characters. So bear with me! Which living character would you want to include in the story? Let me know!
Again please let me know your thoughts, recommendation or anything else you'd like to share! Like as for me I've been rewatching Dead Note- I still am at the edge of my seat every time I watch it! It is so MINDBLOWING! Light :* L! :* Just. Sharing.
As for other important things PLEASE REVIEW MY HOMMIES!
My A.N's are extremely long aren't they? It is irritatingly long? Is that why Papa Franku asked me to kill myself?! :O
Why you so mean Papa Franku! But I don't care, I love talking to you guys! My review responses also tend to go long. Uh oh! ^_^
Until next time, Ja ne!
REVIEW PLEASE!