Chapter 2 is finally here ! I started writing it just after finishing the first one (yep, that was a long time ago). I now understand in which way oneshots are useful. Sorry it took so much time, I'll try to reduce the interval between two chapters, so the third one can be released before the next Olympics.
Disclaimer : I know/own nothing. Not even an english dictionary.
And before I forget:
-There sure are some grammar mistakes and other bad stuff in there
-I might have invented some expressions which could eventually exist in my native language, but doesn't make any sense in this one
So please correct me when you find something wrong.
Hope you'll like the fic !
Shadow Moses Island, 2005
Solid Snake allowed himself to fall backwards in the snow and started to sulk. Raiden tried to sit, using his katana's handle as a pillar, but gave up quickly when the sword began to bruise his delicate booty. Big Boss, as for him, lit a cigar, just watching, a half smile growing on his lips. Abandoning the idea of sitting on his katana, Raiden crossed his arms on his chest and leaned against the guard's legs, still stuck in the snowdrift. A good listener would have noticed the soldier's smothered moan as Raiden eased all his weight on his lower body.
The swordsman scrupulously studied the two human beings facing him. He was well acquainted with one of them and had heard of the other several times through Roy Campbell's AI. Very accurate, the robotic was obsessed with hairstyles, hence Raiden identified Naked Snake's by his haircut more than his facial features. Something was odd though: Solid Snake hair were short. Maybe that wasn't the only weird item here; what was this man doing here anyways, in 1975?
Big Boss blew away an ethereal cloud of blue-shaded smoke before asking « What brought you here, blondie ? », insisting on the last word and even enveloping it with a touch of sarcasm. Supposing that he was the one targeted by « Blondie », Raiden raised his head. He didn't react to the veiled mockery. He would have plenty of time to savor his revenge later.
« I came here to get rid of Big Boss. » he affirmed, his voice made sharper by the shameful sobriquet the same Big Boss just gave him.
« That's me » tranquilly remarked Naked Snake, a grin persisting on his face.
« In order to cancel Solid Snake's birth » finished Raiden. There was no point in hiding his true motive, he could no longer benefit from the surprise element anyways.
« That's him » answered Big Boss, nodding towards his doppelganger laying in the snow. Snake was visibly trying to make some snow angels.
« However, I wasn't expecting you guys to be here at the same time. » sighed Raiden. He was supposed to quickly find Big Boss and backstab him (or smother him with a pillow if he hadn't forgotten to take one). Nonetheless, the rather unexpected presence of Solid Snake had stopped him in his tracks, and he ended up having a talk with the assassination target. Nothing was preventing him from getting rid of Big Boss anyways, but nothing could neither explain the two agents being here at the same time, added to the fact they were about the same age... Something was definitely wrong. It would be wiser to gather as many information as possible about the current situation before making any move.
« Which year is it, by the way ? » Raiden questioned casually, sounding like he was asking the time.
« 1975 » muttered Big Boss, as it was obvious.
« 2005 » retorted Snake, who was eavesdropping their conversation.
The swordsman bit his lower lip. Those two were starting to get on his nerves. Somehow managing to keep his composure, Raiden calmly asked « Could you two please agree on a common date ? » although he was burning in the urge to slowly unsheathe his sword and tenderly press the shining blade against...his murderous impulses were interrupted by an hoarse voice.
« I will side with the simpleton » had finally decided Naked Snake, adopting a bored attitude. « I have no clue of how I ended up here, so I think this one might have a better idea of today's date. » Solid Snake grinned from ear to ear. His idole just agreed with him ! He narrowly resisted the urge to perform his favorite success jitterbug (the one with FF7 victory theme playing in the background), and just conducted an imaginary symphony with his fingers.
Raiden pensively rubbed the back of his neck, trying to analyze Solid Snake hands' chaotic movement. After reaching the conclusion that the agent wasn't trying to transmit some ciphered information, the blond man forced himself back to the current situation. Apart his shortcut and the absence of facial hair, Solid Snake's global appearance relatively matched his expectations-at least for 2005. On the other hand, Big Boss was remarkably well conserved despite the seventy years already behind him. One problem was left though: Raiden was supposed to be in 1975. How could Otacon have made a thirty years error when sending him here ? He decided to just ignore this little detail for the moment. « Well, we're currently in 2005. As for me, I'm from 2010. »
Solid Snake's fingers abruptly stopped. He started squinting, then shook his head in a fit of pique. « I don't understand. »
Big Boss ran his hand through his tangled hair. « I hate to admit that, but neither do I. »
Raiden shut his eyelids. « How should I put that...Otac.. » He reopened his eyes, an uncertain look printed on his face. « Wait, none of you knows who's Otacon, right ? »
Both Snake shook their heads negatively at the same time. Raiden sighed for the second time in two minutes, and refrained once more from strangl... « Get a hold on yourself, myself ! » he accidentally said out loud. Opportunely, his interlocutors were too busy comparing their respective guns to notice. Raiden couldn't help but scowl at them, even though their lack of attention spared him from a shameful time. « Forget Otacon. A guy with glasses and a Zone of Enders wallpaper, Hal Emmerich, tried to... »
« Zone of Enders ? » interrupted Solid Snake as Big Boss mumbled « Emmerich ? I know this name ! »
Raiden chuckled, an imperceptible touch of mockery in his eyes. « There's no way you could know Otacon, believe me.»
« I don't know him. » whispered the bearded Snake, deep in his thoughts. « However, Huey might be his father... »
« Otacon said his father was dead... »
Big Boss switched from his bored face to his sad one, starring into an imaginary sunset, only rewarded by a frozen wind slapping him in the face. Impassive, he nodded grievously. « It happens... » He frowned. « ...to everyone, by the way. »
Tears appeared at the corner of Solid Snake's cerulean eyes. « I don't wanna die... » he cried. He stretched his arms, visibly searching for someone to hug. The first person he encountered happened to be Big Boss.
« That's like in one of Otacon's weird animes » commented out loud a perplex Raiden. « Too bad I forgot to bring my camera. »
Big Boss didn't know how to gently push Snake back, although he behaved as an ass while confronted to Raiden. Understandably, assassins and there potential victims usually don't fit together.
A bell sound reverberated through the mountains, just to indicate their positions to the guard still not alerted by the ruckus. « Who dropped his tuning fork ? » asked the blond swordsman, miffed. A slightly embarrassed Solid Snake suddenly gave a deep interest in his feet. « That was just his awkward-situation-alarm. It triggers from time to time. » casually commented Big Boss, already used to the weird situations he was confronted to since chapter 1. Raiden choose wisely not to ask anything about this alarm, and so forth went ahead with his story. He unsuccessfully searched for a comfortable positioning against the guard's legs (the ones still pointing out of a snowdrift like bug antennas) and interlocked his hands behind his head before starting.
« Let's recap. I'm from 2010. Since MGS2, I'm willing to be the main character. I ordered Snake Eater on Amazon, and the game was in my letterbox three days later. Only after I ripped off the protection plastic layer, I realized that all of this was pointless since I my PS2 was dead after I accidentally cut it in half. I bought a new one, on Amazon too. I opened the box, slicing the scotch tape with my katana, and pulli... »
Big Boss stopped him by raising his arm. « I think you could skip the part when you coldly killed this poor box by opening it. »
The word « killed » caught Solid Snake's attention, still at the humans fatal death issue. « Boxes die too. » he realized, shaking his head sadly.
Raiden hesitated between hitting him or simply ignore him. He decided on the second option. He will have plenty of time to try the first one later. Unfortunately, he was that time interrupted by Big Boss.
« Sorry to barge in the middle of your story, Blondie, but you lost me when you started talking about those amazons. »
Raiden bit his lower lip until a trickle of blood came flowing on his chin. Obviously such an outdated guy would never understand half the words he was using. He could have thought of this little detail before starting his story. The blond man squinted, then managed to pull his katana out of the dense snow layer. He examined the tiny fur ball skewered at the sharply extremity of the blade. « I'm pretty sure I impaled a lemming by accident. »
Naked Snake sighed, rolling his eyes. Or rather his eye. « Could we please return to the main topic ? »
« I'm the one who's talking, and I decide when I talk. » angrily said Raiden, carefreely waving his blade, the lemming still stuck at its end.
Big Boss quickly jumped backward. « Careful with the sword ! It'll be great if you don't put out the eye I have left. »
Raiden tenderly remove the dead lemming from his sword and gazed at the little corpse. Solid Snake sniffed loudly, tears shining on his cheeks. Impervious to that lame time, Big Boss gave an interested look rather than a desolated one to the corpse. « It's fresh meat. You should save it for la... »
A bullet hit him in the middle of his sentence. « One more hole in my sneaking-suit » was his last thought before he collapsed in the snow due to the force of the impact.
« Someone is shooting at us » brilliantly observed Solid Snake, gazing at the blood stains on the white snow.
« Someone shot me » retorted Big Boss, standing up. He caught the reflect of a sniper rifle. In fact, he didn't caught anything beside a bullet and just wanted to sound badass in his own thoughts. Because, yes, spotting a sniper from 50 meters away in the middle of the snow storm is considered badass. He briefly wondered how he could have survived his endless fight with the End -how ironic- if it was snowing that day.
« Running would be a good idea » shouted Raiden, attempting to slip the lemming's corpse in his pocket before realizing he hadn't any. Without any backwards regards for his « associates » and the rodent he just abandoned on the snow, he put his sword back into the scabbard between his shoulders and started sprinting towards...the mist. The snow storm was creating an opaque screen similar to a smoke screen, although it wasn't a smoke screen at all. Too concerned by smoke screens, Raiden omit to watch his steps and gasped in surprise when his right foot encountered...nothing but the void. The fall was relatively short. However, since he couldn't see anything, nor differentiate the top from the bottom, he wasn't able to return in mid-air to land on his feet, and just crashed on his back. Raiden just encountered his worst enemy : fresh snow. Absolutely furious at losing to a bunch of frozen flakes, he drew his weapon and gave some violent strikes to the snow until the blade encountered something solid.
Accompanied by some very classy lightning and electronic crackles, a guy appeared next to him, his face hidden by giant thermal goggles and an elegant floral printed balaclava. Which he immediately removed to lecture Raiden.
« You just ruined my stealth camouflage. Not a problem, I have plenty of those left in the lab. You can cut my equipment in half, call me Megane-san and even steal my pantsu, but I'll set two rules from now on : first, don't take my glasses, otherwise no one will recognize my character. Second, don't do anything which could bother Wolf-chan. »
The new guy lost interest in Raiden and crouched, his left shoulder pressed against the little cliff the blond man just fell off. He seemed to adjust something using a screw on his google's side. Raiden tried to look in the same direction as him, willing to have an idea of what was captivating him that much to ignore falling swordsmen. Obviously, the snow storm from the previous paragraph didn't vanish in ten lines, so he coudn't even distinguish a tree. Potentially because there weren't any tree for kilometers around. Let's just say he couldn't even distinguish a lemming. Raiden was sure they were some lemmings around, since he accidentally empaled one at the beginning of the chapter. « I should stop breaking the fourth wall, even if it's only mentally. », he thought, breaking this very wall once more.
He finally managed to extirpate himself from the snow and sat, crossing his legs, wandering who the hell was this « wolfchane » the unknown man mentioned. There was something familiar about his voice. A very basic interrogation, yet natural, came to his lips.
« Who are you ? »
The other one turned his head towards him and retired his massive thermal goggles, allowing Raiden to recognize the man who sent him there. The fact he was wearing glasses was sufficient to identify Hal Emmerich, officially engineer and chicken raiser at his spare time. He seemed as surprised as himself, which was a bit odd since since they weren't supposed to know each others in 2005. After staring at the blond man face for a little too long with an appealed look, Emmerich readjusted the glasses slipping off his nose. « I'm Otacon. It stands for Otaku Con... »
« Otaku Convention, I already know that. »
« How do y... »
« I'm the one asking. Do you recognize me ? »
Otacon carefully examined Raiden. « Like I'd know a shinobi. I'll only respond to a true bushi. » he answered with a dismissive sight. « Yet, if at least you were a cyborg ninja, I could eventually accept your presence, but y... »
« So you 're the one from 2005... » Raiden accidentally said out loud.
This caught up Otacon's attention, who slowly raised his head, a glimmer of interest in his eyes, tinged for some reason with what appeared to be fear.
« What do you mean by the one ? » he slowly asked.
Raiden was a bit reluctant to reveal the true reasons of his presence here. But after all, it was Otacon. The same than the one who sent him here. Just a little bit younger. Surprisingly, his hair, brown five years later, where grey for the moment. Since this guy built- or rather shall build-a fully-working time-machine, it wouldn't be surprising that he could age reversely. Unless the version of the engineer facing him had himself traveled through time and...no. The situation already was complicated enough to add a new timeline to the story.
Otacon joyfully clapped his hands together, cutting his reflections. « Yappari ! You're a St Seiya cosplayer ! That's why you're so women-like. By the way, did you lose your golden armor ? »
Raiden, annoyed, shook his hand. « Could you please stop using random foreign words in the middle of your sentences ? I find that rather disturbing for readers. »
Otacon blushed and slightly bent. « Sumimasen! »
« Did you even listen to what I said ?! » burst Raiden, waving his sword.
« You know, if you're going to randomly swing your katana like that, switching to a bokuto would be less dangerous for your immediate neighbors. »
Raiden sighed. « I don't even know what bokuto means... »
Otacon wasn't listening anymore, occupied to clean his thermal goggles with a piece of cloth. This version of Emmerich was similar in each point to his older self. Putting some japanese words in the middle of his sentences and living in his own world. Raiden wondered if the fact that this guy never evolved was reassuring or not. At least, he knew well how to deal with him, whatever the timeline. Despite this, Raiden was hesitating to reveal who he really was to Otacon. He could be both a great help and a pain in the ass when it came to scientific issues such as time paradoxes.
The blond man shook the engineer's shoulder, who almost jumped at the contact. « Oh, that's you. You scared me. Wolf-chan was cleaning her visor. » Her visor ? Could it be…
« Otacon, who are you calling Wolf-chan ? » asked Raiden.
Emmerich slightly blushed. « She's called Sniper Wolf...but for me, she'll… » Raiden wasn't listening anymore. This Wolf might have been the one who shot Big Boss earlier. « Otacon, there is something I have to tell you »
-Yes ?
No need to explain this time. If this man was capable of building a fully-working time-machine five years later, he should understand. « Otacon, which year is it ? »
-1975...uh I mean 2005
This guy might be really living in his own world to have a thirty years offset on the date. Raiden was by some means used to this kind of situations when talking to Otacon. « I came from 2010 ».
-Nnni ?! shouted Otacon. He tried to take a step backwards but accidentally tangled his feet and fell back down in the snow. The engineer remained half sat on the floor, glancing at Raiden with an afraid expression on his face, breathing heavily. The blond swordsman took a step towards him. « Otacon, are you okay ? You look pale all of a sudden. » Emmerich hardly swallowed and managed to stood, using the cliff. Raiden noticed that he was slightly shaking. This guy was really too emotive. « You're sure everything's all right ? You look like you're gonna throw up. » Otacon, still trembling, shook his head. « I was just a little surprised, that's all.
« I thought I was mistaking... » he added so low that Raiden hardly caught his words.
« What did you just say ?» he asked. Emmerich gave a try to Solid Snake's « I did nothing wrong » look, although he didn't know him yet. So Snake's famous face was popular to guys he never encountered. Which justified the qualificatif « famous », now that Raiden thought of it. Otacon addressed a forced smile. « So you said you came from year 2010. Sounds interesting. » Raiden gave him a surprised look. One minute ago he was shocked as a lemming just killed his whole family, and now he sounded as bored as Big Boss.
« So how am I five years older ?»
Raiden frowned a bit. « I didn't even say we knew each others ».
The engineer wringed his hands, embarrassed. « You're acting like you know me, so I supposed... »
The blond swordsman bit his lip, puzzled by Otacon's abrupt change of comportment. Something might be bothering him. Anyways, he was the only one capable of providing any help at this stage. Maybe he could clarify the reasons of Big Boss presence in the wrong era.
Emmerich's voice arose. « You said you had something to tell me, douzo osakini ! I want to know what happens next ! »
He apparently just switched to his usual self. It managed to bother Raiden about the engineer's mental state. He didn't remember him as a schizophrenic.
« Just a question before we start : are you able to break the fourth wall just as I am ? »
« You just broke it by saying that. »
Raiden was (for once) relieved by the answer. That meant he could speak free of the MGS saga with Otacon without having to explain each word he was using. He raised his head, ready to start his story, when a detail caught his attention. Emmerich's gray hair were now partially brown.
Unlike Raiden, who ran away in the right direction, the two Snake jumped right into the lion's den and were currently caught in multiple fire. Bullets, radio handlesets and various human members were flying in all directions. Surprisingly, the belligerents weren't yelling nor aiming at them.
« None of them hit us yet. They might be some kind of stormtroopers ! » exclaimed Snake.
« I think we're in the middle of an internal conflict » observed Big Boss, without asking what stormtroopers were. « They're ignoring us »
The guards fighting each others were divided in two sides : the ones wearing a hood and the hooded ones.
« I can't see the difference » commented Big Boss in an even tone, reading the fanfic script. A hood, thrown by a guard wearing one, hit him in the eye at full speed.
Solid Snake, sat on the floor-though it wasn't expected in the script and is thus a faux-raccord- was thinking. At these moments, even Naked Snake's cursing words « Goddammit, stop aiming at my eye, I have only one ! » couldn't reach him. He was impermeable to any physical or verbal aggression, hence wasn't feeling at all the dead guard which had landed on his feet nor the one poking his head with his minigun.
« Stop beating around the bush and go ahead » protested Big Boss, his voice more and more devoid of emotion and still reading the script, wild hoods randomly flying around him.
Solid Snake was wondering how hoods could be flying in all directions since every single guard had his hood on. Whose hoods were those ?
« They may have several layers of hoods on » pensively commented Big Boss.
« He his reading in my thoughts ! He definitely is awesome ! » thought an excited Snake.
« No, I'm just reading the script in which your thoughts are written. » answered a bored (second) Snake. He quickly turned a page of the paper he was holding. « Let's see what happens to us next. » He started reading : « One of the hooded guards drew a bazooka and... » An unfortunate and non accurate bazooka round drew away the paper from his hands, burning it to ashes by the same occasion. Big Boss gave a disappointed look to the remaining of the fiction script. The (hooded) guard who just shot the book made his bazooka stand upright to proudly lean against it. A random soldier (wearing a hood) gave a friendly tap on his armed colleague's shoulder. « Great weapon you have there, buddy ! » he commented. The other one proudly smile « You like it ? That's the one from Devil May Cry ! » Another random guard raised his head. « You mean you have a fully-working replica of Kalina-Ann ? » Some voices started to arise around the two cornered men.
-Is it from the third game ? I haven't played it yet.
-I think it came out in february.
-I didn't like the second game, is the third one worth buying ?
« Weren't those ones fighting each others a minute ago ? » wondered Naked Snake, as Solid Snake thought « I should try Devil May Cry ». Suddenly, the hooded assembly turned toward them like one man. The one carrying the bazooka took one step forward. « Who are you guys, by the way ? » Some others started to whisper around them. « There is no chance that you might be intruders, right » the armed guard went on menacingly, caressing his weapon.
Big Boss took a step backwards, his left hand before his face in a (fake) sign of submission, the right one searching for his knife. « You know, we can discuss it later around a tea. There's no need to... »
With a hooligan-like attack shout, Solid Snake charged towards the army of hooded guards, attacking them all at once with a...spear ? Where did he find such an outdated weapon ? A guard (wearing a hood) pointed a trembling finger in his direction. « That's my spear ! You stole it ! »
-This one is from Final Fantasy !
-Who does he think he is ? Cid ?
Big Boss was understanding less and less what the guards surrounding him were talking about. He finally managed to grab his knife and casually shredded a hood left lying on the floor. The grinning provoked by this revenge (this hood was the one which went flying in his eye before) scared a bunch of guards. He raised his head and stared at his enemies, a devilish expression in the eye(s). « If you value your hood, get out of here. »
Big Boss quickly took a look on Solid Snake, now waving a warhammer. « That's the one from Morrowind ! » shouted an excited guard right before his jewels were crushed by the iron mass.
Naked Snake smirked and mashed a nose with his foot. « Sorry, it was sticking out of your hood ». He heard three guards approaching behind him, did a turn around, grabbed one and throw him at the others. Two more soldiers accidentally stumbled on the three already knocked out and fell headfirst.
« What was that ? »questioned Solid Snake, deeply impressed.
Naked Snake grabbed someone by the collar. « CQC. And you can basically do it to. » He neglectfully dropped the guard he was holding. Stars were almost shining in Solid Snake's eyes: « I'll give it a try ! »
He jovially took out a bunch of guards. Despite a certain motivation, the two of them finally found themselves back to back, in the middle of the circle formed by the still approaching hooded guards. Big Boss drew a tranquilizer gun, immediately imitated by his doppelganger. With an unique shout, the soldiers attacked all at once.
-Don't you find strange that none of thus has taken a bullet yet ? asked Solid Snake, sat on a hooded man.
-Well, I have. And don't say things like that, it's the best way to take one, muttered Big Boss, a guard in each hand.
They waited for a bullet to be taken. Nothing happened.
« That could be worse » added Solid Snake, somehow relieved. « It could rain. »
Big Boss was a bit septic. « I see how it could snow. But rain ? »
They waited for some snow to fall. Nothing happened.
« This is getting ridiculous » sighed the bearded Snake.
The first building next to them exploded.
« Oh, really ? » protested Big Boss before being half buried under the rubble. The upper half of Solid Snake body was sticking out a bunch of shattered bricks a few meters away.
« Ocelot, how many times did I tell you not to light incense sticks in the explosives storage ?! » someone shouted near them, hidden by the concealing dust thrown up by the explosion.
« Look, it's snowing ! » exclaimed Solid Snake, confusing the ashes lightly flying around him with cute snowflakes.
Big Boss tried to extricate himself from the debris and failed. The dust was making it hard to breathe, they had to get out of here as soon as possible.
-Uh, Boss, sunglasses approaching ! adverted Solid Snake.
-What ?
« Hey, Snake, wanna retry the raw fish eating contest ? » said a familiar voice behind him.
-It's Master Miller ! exclaimed Solid Snake. « He came to help us ! »
Kazuhira Miller smoothed his hair back and frowned. «Actually...does one of you know what I am doing here ? »
Thanks for reading !
Please review.