Omake Compilation 1

A/N;Kiiiinda spent too much time playing P4Golden and the FFX and FFX2 remakes this week, so have a few of the sillier ideas that went through my mind while writing this. Check my new poll, if you could. Winner, as of the first of june, will get a few more chapters/maybe be turned into a full story. Shout-out to the Games We Play, and Rearranging the Board, two great RWBY fics you should be reading instead of this dreck.

Number 1; Fucking Iscroll batteries.

Jaune was half asleep when his scroll rang. Loudly.

URSA, URSA, UR-UR-UR-URURURSAAAAAA

Professor Port moved with a speed that almost made the class believe some of his stories.

"Ah, Mister Arc! I'll need to see that!" Jaune handed him the scroll and inwardly sighed. Looked like another week of detentions for him.

The professor skimmed the message, before laughing. "Ah, an adventure to save a young love! Well, boy, it seems you have better things to do than be here! You'd best be along, this sounds serious!"

So it came to be that Jaune, hardly believing his luck, was let out of Port's class an hour ahead of schedule. He was halfway back to his team's room before he thought to check the message.

Unfortunately for Pyrrha, Ruby, Weiss, and especially Yang, his scroll had died.

He plugged it in upon his return to the room, and tried turning it on. It flashed once, showed the no-battery sign, and turned off again.

Then it started charging.

So, Jaune went to get something to eat, and was therefore woefully unprepared when Blake took over the world, erecting statues of books, team RWBY, and Team RWBY reading books.

Number 2; Old Man Ozpin?

Pyrrha burst from the wreckage and charged Blake, moving back and forth swiftly, dodging books left and right, until she was standing in front of the floating girl. In a well-practiced movement she swung her shield in an overhanded haymaker then used the momentum to dip into a sweeping feint that she came up from in a nearly 45 degree angle uppercut.

Blake dodged it all effortlessly.

Pyrrha's eyes widened. "What?"

Blake sighed. "I told you guys, I know everything that every one of these books say."

"So?"

"AGH BURNING IT JUST MAKES IT MAD SOMEONE HELP!"

Zwei's ears perked up.

Blonde-master was in trouble!

He sniffed the air, and took off running as fast as his legs could carry him.

Granted, his legs were short, but so were Scar-master's and she moved very quickly! Of course, he didn't have glowthings to propel him forward, but he would make do.

He burst into the library, and recoiled in surprise.

His nose hadn't told him Red-master's cat-lady-replacement-pet was here! He barked at her, but she ignored him, as did Scar-master and Red-master.

They continued arguing about unimportant things as he backed up and charged cat-lady-pet-replacement, lunging through the air... and out the other side of her, where he collided with a floating box of some kind.

The box broke, and he whimpered. Breaking things usually meant no treats for the night, and no belly rubs!

Weiss, Ruby, Pyrrha, and Yang stared in unison as Blake seemed to flicker out of existence. Loud cursing was heard from a nearby bookshelf, which Zwei started barking at. Yang walked forward, and moved it out of the way, revealing...

"Old man Ozpin and Professor Goodwitch?!" The four cried.

"That's right!" Ozpin said, snarling. "And we would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids and that mangy mutt!"

"Wait." Ruby said, tilting her head. "Where's Blake, then? And why'd you two do this? "

The camera began to iris out.

"What was the point? Wait, is this the- Don't end it here!"

Number 3; Ugh I can't believe I wrote this

"I... I actually saved the day!" Jaune's eye's were as wide and bright as headlights with fresh fluid. "Well, me and Pyrrha, anyway... Pyrrha!"

Jaune ran over to her, and offered a hand to her. The sunlight seemed to shine around him, and Pyrrha felt her breath hitch.

Weiss, watching the scene, was forced to resort to her tried and true tactic for encountering attractive men.

'I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay I'm-'

Ruby shoved her over. "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! I'm real happy for ya, and Imma let you finish, but 'Death By Goodwitch' was the best brick joke or running gag of all time! Of All Time!"

Number 4; Who Didn't See It Coming?

"Yang, I'm your partner. I know your strengths, your secrets, and your weaknesses. I know your deepest thoughts. Hell, because you and Weiss still haven't figured out faunus have better senses, I know that you guys, uh.." She glanced in Ruby's direction."Prefer Thursday nights."

Ruby snorted over Weiss' horrified sputtering. "We all prefer Thursday nights, Blake. We only have class from Noon to Four on Friday, remember?"

"I- uh... yeah. Of course. How silly of me to forget." Blake shared a look with Yang and Weiss.

"Anyway, It's because I know so much about you that I know the secret to defeating you."

"Small hits while you dodge in order to have her work off any energy you transfer while wearing her down?"

"No, Ruby. The secret to defeating Yang is simpler than that." She waved a hand and a gargantuan ball of magazines formed in the air above them.

"Oh really?" Yang fired several shots at the ball, and smirked when she saw the bullets come out the other side. "What would that be, Blake?"

Blake chuckled. "Vintage pornography, of course."

Ruby blinked.

Weiss tried and failed to talk, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly.

Yang just stared. "Wanna go ahead and elaborate on that one?"

"Nope." The ball of magazines slammed into Yang and kept going, carrying her to the opposite end of the library.

"Ahhh!" Yang screamed "You team killing fucktard!"

"Oh my god, she killed Yang!" Ruby's eyes were the size of saucers.

"I think she's fine, actually." Pyrrha inserted, picking herself up from the piles of books surrounding her.

Blake threw a book at her, and it bounced off her forehead, knocking the Champ out.

"You bastard!" Weiss charged Blake.

Number Five; Shots Fired

He walked in on what, years later, he would describe to his son as the weirdest thing he saw as a Huntsman. Yang appeared to be grappling against a monster made of porn, Weiss and Ruby were arguing, Blake was hovering and generally having a good time, and a floating book seemed to be flashing red, while the occasional cackle emerged from it.

So, he did the only thing he was qualified to do.

Charge it.

He ran towards the book, and Blake turned towards him.

"Jaune?!" Her eyes widened. "No you don't!" She waved both hands towards him, and books seemed to shoot at him from every corner of the library.

Pyrrha saw light for what felt like the first time in ages, and the second she did she was 'treated' to the sight of nearly a million books converging on her beau.

"No!" She threw both her hands to the ground, and willed her Semblance to come forth.

Jaune charged forward, trusting Pyrrha's semblance to protect him. He willed himself to move faster, and finally brought his sword down in a wide arc at the book, screaming out the most inspiring attack name he could come up with.

"Power Strike!"

Time seemed to slow down as his sword neared the book... until it bounced harmlessly off.

"Power strike? Seriously?" Five mouths muttered in unison.

"What?" He asked. "It's a good name!"

Everyone started laughing, enmity forgotten, and before long Jaune joined them.

Blake was the first one to catch her breath. "Alright, let's get serious. I'm gonna kill everyone in this room."

Silence met her remark, until Yang summed up everyone else's thoughts on the matter.

"Aw, son of a bitch."