Chapter 2: of badges and memories
As I rest my forehead against the cool window, my eyes wander to the moving landscape to my side. It is an artist's pallet, a pallet of bright greens, dark greys and the occasional spots of blue, a fast approaching painting which effortlessly eludes my gaze, blurring into one gliding image which, even after seven years, I always find myself hopelessly entranced by. A content smile settles on my lips as my eyes stay trained on the window, the voices of my friends slowly drowning out as my mind wanders off to earlier years.
'How hard can it be?´
Eleven year old Mar was very much in love with the concept of flying. It sounded just like all the stories she had heard before going to bed, all the Disney films she had ever watched while growing up. Unbidden images of Aladdin and his flying carpet reached her mind and she remembered how very delightful it all seemed. Mar was enraptured with the idea of being able to go up so high that she would be able to see everything and everyone, with the dream of maybe even reaching the clouds and reasserting her belief that they had to be as soft as the cotton her mother always used to clean any scraped knees. However, eleven year old Mar could not help the shuffling of her feet, or how her left hand moved up towards her neck every few seconds in an unbidden way, or the fidgeting that seemed to have taken hold of her.
Eleven year old Mar wanted to fly properly, and for the past two flying lessons she had been able to call up her broom after a decent amount of attempts and had successfully mastered the flying positions that Madam Hooch had taught them. And now Madam Hooch had told them to try and fly a few meters above the ground.
And so, eleven year old Mar took a deep breath, looked at what now seemed an abysmally thin piece of wood and repeated the question one more time:
'How hard can it be?'
The first few seconds did not seem that hard at all. But then… Then the wood did not seem to be able to hold her properly, her body seemed to move of its own accord, the wind seemed intent on making her return to the ground. And then, flying seemed quite difficult after all. And so, little Mar held on fiercely for a few more seconds, holding her breath, trying to straighten the broom beneath her, until… Until she no longer could.
And she tumbled down, her body hitting the grass beneath her with a soft thump. It didn't really hurt. No bone or muscle were bruised or strained. But her pride?
Oh, that one was a bit shaken.
And as she closed her eyes, a boy's soft laughter was heard. Her eyes snapped open and landed on a blue-eyed boy, with messy yellow hair. Not blonde, but yellow. Bright yellow, almost too bright to look at straight on. She remembers thinking at the time that it clashed terribly with the red and gold that adorned all of his robes.
Mar thought he'd finish, but he didn't. The more he looked at her, the harder it seemed for him to stop.
"Oh, be quiet already!" the words left Mar's lips as she stood up with as much dignity as she could muster.
"Sorry, sorry," he did not seem the least bit remorseful "It was funny, is all. The way you fell after only a few seconds and landed with a-"
"I said shut up already!" Mar's eyes were wide and she felt tears form, but she grabbed her broom fiercely to try and school her tears into submission.
"Oi, there's no need for you to get all riled up." he raised his hands defensively, but the smile was still on his lips. It infuriated her beyond reason. And her anger only grew as she heard a few other people laugh at his comments.
"You think you're hilarious, don't you?" her voice was biting in the way only an eleven year old can be, her head shaking with intent as she let the words tumble out "Do you enjoy making other people feel bad? That's not very Gryffindor of you, is it?"
"It would take a Slytherin to know, I guess." the smile was finally gone and Mar smiled triumphantly.
"Better be a Slytherin than a Gryffindor." she said quietly crossing her arms in what she hoped was defiance.
"You wish!" the boy retorted, with an air of finality.
"Yes, yes, yes," a dark skinned girl with curly black hair stepped in front of her before Mar could retort, hands at her hips, chin tilted upwards "Everyone seems to have already understood you are an idiot, Edward Lupin. Be quiet now."
And before the boy could answer, the girl grabbed Mar's arm and pulled her towards where the rest of the Slytherin first years were, all waiting with smiles on their faces.
"I'm Pria Lyra Zabini." the girl said, turning towards her with a polite, yet kind, smile.
"Guiomar Mya Holt," the girl replied with a small smile of her own "But you can call me Mar."
And the girls smiled and chatted for the rest of the class.
Something about that memory made me want to chuckle. That was the day that Lupin and I became sworn enemies, our animosity set to stone over the broom incident. That sounds rather dramatic, the thought sounds amusing to my own ears and laughter bubbles up within me, which I push down with great difficulty.
I shake my head, attempting to rid my mind of the rather silly inclination it seems to have decided to take, finding Edward Lupin (or memories of him), of all things, amusing. One glance at my wristwatch gets me to my feet and rummaging through one of my suitcases outer pockets. As soon as I feel the cold of the metal press against the skin of my hand, I pull it out. I hope my movements look as inconspicuous as I wish them to, as I take off my Prefect badge and replace it by a silver one with the words "Head Girl" engraved on it in dark green.
"I have to get going." I say as I make to the door, what I hope is a relaxed smile plastered on my face "Prefect's meeting. I'll see you later."
But, as always, the universe insists on conspiring against me.
"Whoa, whoa," Adam waves his hands around, trying to get up from his slouched position "What's that badge I see?"
"What badge?" both Pria and I ask at the same time. Her brows furrow as she stares at me, in what I can tell is suspicion and confusion, her gaze dropping to the badge on my chest instantly. She gasps and goes back to staring at me. But she looks hurt now, as if I've hidden a life-threatening secret from her.
I feel instantly guilty.
"Before you guys get started," I put my hands up as I say these words, waving them a bit frantically in front of me as if to try and prevent the words from coming out of their already half open mouths "Yes, I know I should have told you sooner-"
"That's the understatement of the decade." Pria mutters, arms crossed in front of her chest, eyebrow perfectly arched in a display of dissatisfaction the way only a girl born and raised amidst aristocracy can muster.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." my hands keep on moving around me as I speak "It's just… The opportunity never really came during the summer, as it was hard enough to send you guys any letters whatsoever without the rest of my family realizing there was an owl flapping around the house. And then today I didn't get the chance to mention it…"
The words die on my lips as the three of them just stare back at me, eyebrows raised, mouths set into thin lines. I run a hand through my straight brown hair and let out a sigh.
"I… I'm sorry?" I offer, a tentative half-smile on my lips.
"You're always the same, Mar." Will shakes his head as he rolls his eyes, still clearly annoyed and somewhat frustrated "When will you get into that thick head of yours that this is the sort of thing that you should share with your best mates? Even if you just write us a one line letter with the news – it's all we need."
Pria nodded her agreement with vehemence, her eyes softening nonetheless.
"Stop thinking that telling us equals showing off, will you?" Pria huffs, getting up as she did to straighten my badge and brush away imaginary dust from my robes.
"Oh, I know, I know." I whisper, swatting away her hand with a hint of a smile that she thankfully returns "Just... The moment never really came. Sorry?"
"Go off to that meeting of yours, little Miss Head Girl." Pria gently pushes me towards the door and I sigh in relief.
I meant to tell them, I did. I just didn't have time. Ugh. I need to stop doing this sort of stuff. I give them a thankful smile, the three people who understand my fears better than I sometimes do, and walk out of our compartment.
"And yes, you're forgiven!" Adam shouts as I'm about to close the door behind me, to which I reply by mouthing a simple won't do it again and smiling widely.
I had given a few steps down the corridor, glancing again at my watch, grateful I still had plenty of time to get to the compartment at the very front of the train, when I hear a door slide open somewhere behind me.
I wonder who made Head Boy. Maybe Foreman, quite possibly Tom or -
"A SLYTHERIN JUST MADE IT TO HEAD GIRL!" Will's voice echoes through the corridor and I freeze mid-step, almost stumbling over my own feet "TAKE THAT GRYFFINDORS!"
"Oh for Merlin's sake. WILL!" I hiss in reply as I quickly turn around, only to find him leaning against the doorway with a cheeky grin.
"Payback," he gives me a wink before turning to walk back inside "Should have told us sooner."
The Prefect's carriage is empty when I get there and relief washes over me. Being late to my first meeting is not something I wished for. Especially considering it's a meeting I'm meant to lead. I glance at my watch and I see I still have around fifteen minutes before the meeting is meant to start, so I open the small wooden cupboard placed beneath one of the seats and take out some parchment and a quill. I sit down to jot down some essential points that need to be addressed today and start to write a small to do list at the bottom of the page.
1 - Write up patrol schedule (and make copies for everyone).
2 - Make copies of the meetings' schedule for everyone.
3 – Make copies of the Prefects' duties list and hand it out in the next meeting.
4 – Make a spreadsheet with all possible events that may have to be organized by us.
5 - Speak to Headmistress McGonagall about said events.
"Guiomar Holt," I look up from my writing, jostled back to reality by a clear voice, only to see a smiling blonde standing by the carriage's door, his Ravenclaw robes highlighting the light blue of his eyes, the Head Boy badge glinting off his chest "I knew it. Who else but you?"
"Tom! Of course you made it too." I smile warmly back, setting the quill and parchment down as he moves to sit across from me, only to quickly lean forward and whisper conspiratorially "Don't tell Foreman I said this, but the badge suits you much better than it would have him."
His shoulders rattle with laughter, eyes suddenly alight with mirth as he leans forward to whisper back.
"You have my word," my own chortle accompanied his words, head shaking at our antics "And if I may, that badge would not make sense on anyone else but you. And I won't tell Foreman this either, don't worry."
After a few minutes of pleasant conversation about each other's summer, I show him the list I'd quickly jotted down and we both set to diving tasks and agreeing on what needs to be covered in this and upcoming meetings. Tom and I had easily hit off when we met during fifth year, and realizing we worked well together the Head Boy and Head Girl at the time had paired us off for Patrols. The same happened during sixth year, and we quickly developed an easy friendship. He was always pleasant and polite, with a quick and witty sense of humour that never failed to make my own surface. He would sometimes come to patrol with two hot mugs of tea and sometimes I would bring some dried fruits for us to snack as we roamed the usually empty castle halls. As I glance at him, the smile I give him is genuine. I'm glad he's the one with Head Boy badge, and the responsibilities that accompany this position don't seem so daunting when I know I have a capable partner by my side.
The minutes tick by and the carriage steadily fills up, conversations flowing easily as people speak of their holidays, the upcoming year, the dreaded OWLs and the even more dreaded NEWTs, waiting for everyone to arrive.
"Mar!" I turn to see Andrea moving towards me, with quick and bouncy steps, wide eyed and with an even wider grin.
"Andy!" we quickly hug before we sit down in the nearest available seats "By the way, my mum says thank you for the scarf you got her for her birthday, she loved it!"
"Oh, it was nothing. My pleasure!" she looks at the badge hanging from my robes and, if possible, her smile only grows wider "You made Head Girl! I'm so happy for you, Mar!"
"Oh. Thank you, Andy. And sorry I didn't tell you in my last letter but-"
"It's okay, you were in a hurry and we'd see each other soon anyway." she bats away my worries with a dismissive wave of her hand and a kind smile that lights up her dark eyes.
"But enough about me!" I give her a knowing smile "So… In your letter you mentioned a certain Greek wizard you met in a museum?" I wiggle my eyebrows and laugh at the faint blush that spreads over her skin.
"Oh my… I have so much to tell you!" she raises her hands to her face excitedly and I giggle at her enthusiasm.
"I'm sneaking into the Hufflepuff common room sometime this week to hear the full tale!" I whisper solemnly, to which her smile only grows.
"Thank Merlin our common rooms are so close together. Imagine you had to sneak all the way to the Gryffindor tower to see me and hear the updates on my love life?" she whispers back, and laughter bubbles up in my chest at her secretive tone.
"If you were a Gryffindor, I'd make you sneak out of your common room to visit me, not the other way around!"
"That's probably true." She says with a small laugh, and I can't help but laugh with her.
As I glance around, I do a quick mental counting and know everyone is here, so I start to rise from my seat to get the meeting started. Tom does the same and we move to the centre of the compartment.
"Welcome everyone!" Tom starts, with a warm smile.
"For those of you who are new, I'm Guiomar Holt, and this is Tom Waters," I continue, looking around to give everyone a pleasant smile "We'll be starting off by explaining the duties entailed with being a Prefect, before we move on to other topics."
An hour later, the meeting is finally over. It went surprisingly well, running smoothly and without too many interruptions and after saying my goodbyes to Andy, and promising I'd speak to her first thing tomorrow, I watch as the remaining Prefects make their way back to their own friends and compartments, before waving Tom goodbye and heading out.
"I can't believe we're graduating already. It still doesn't feel like seven years have passed." Rob Foreman, the seventh year Gryffindor Prefect, says a few steps in front of me, hands moving wildly around as they always do every time he speaks, adjusting his glasses to his face in what I now know to be an unconscious action.
"Foreman, you're only graduating if you pass your NEWTs," Louis bits back, a lazy smile plastered on his face, "And my offer still stands about Charms, you know? I can tutor you anytime you want." he loosens his green and silver tie with practised carelessness as the words leave his mouth, winking at the now suddenly flustered Gryffindor.
"I... I don't… I mean, it's just that…" Rob's stuttered response makes my smile hard to suppress "What I mean to say is that…" he pauses and takes a deep breath, cheeks tainted red and I know this is probably the moment I either announce myself or move to walk past them. As I start to walk forward, I hear him finish with a "Yeah, I'd like that. If you'd help me with Charms, that is… It'd be great. I'd… I'd really appreciate it.", and I feel the corners of my mouth twitch upwards.
"Guys, you're meant to be patrolling." I say in a sing song voice from where I stand behind them, tone slightly scolding, but light enough for them to know I'm more amused than anything else.
"We're on it, Mar" Louis replies, attitude unshaken, if not for the playful way he nudges me as I move past them.
I wave them goodbye, trying not to laugh as Rob's blush and keep on walking forward at a swift pace. Tiredness hits me and all I want is to get back to my carriage and snuggle up with a book against the window and relax for the rest of the way. A few people are gathered in the corridor, chatting to each other and making my way to the very back of the train that much more strenuous.
Why did we chose a compartment at the very back of the train again? Ugh… I'll get there tomorrow by the likes of this.
And then I spot him, blue hair making him stand out. As I get closer, I see the black inked tattoos that cover his arms and I force myself not to stare. He's had them since last year, and despite my better judgement, I always thought they suited him rather nicely. I glance at the girl standing in front of him, hands on his chest, face too close for this to be a friendly conversation, and take only a few seconds to recognize her. Victoire Weasley, Ravenclaw Prefect, sixth year. They've been on and off for at least two years now and are one of those couples everyone just inherently knows about, always hearing whispered conversations about how they have known each other since they were little and are probably going to marry soon after Hogwarts.
I'm thinking gratefully about how he hasn't noticed me when his eyes flicker in my direction and his lips twitch ever so slightly. I groan inwardly, cursing my luck. Oh, not again. Once in a day is more than enough. As I prepare myself for yet another argument, I stare at a point somewhere above his head and move to walk past them. I notice how his eyes are fixed on my badge, thankful when he doesn't make a comment and no argument ensues. A rare occurrence when it comes to the two of us. But then again, I'd wager he wouldn't want to spoil his time with Victoire.
Small blessings, I guess.
I quickly get to my compartment, and as I walk inside I find the three of them chatting animatedly about a new pub that had just recently opened in Hogsmeade and which was going to be, according to what people had been saying, the spot to be at. I listened and joined in for a while, sharing in their excitement, before taking out a novel I started reading a few weeks ago and curling up next to the window.
As I stare at the pages of the book on my lap, my mind drifts against my will to the image of Teddy and Victoire in the corridor and, for the second time today, I wonder about how it all started, this bitter war of ours. Why it all started, and never really ended at any point of the seven years.
Our issues are more than mere house rivalry, I know that.
After the war, Slytherin had gone through a rough time. Our numbers were smaller than those of any other house because people were too scared to get sorted here, usually arguing with the hat for long minutes in order to be placed elsewhere.
Mar had just discovered she was a witch, and excited as she was about this entirely new world of magic and goblins and brooms and moving photographs, she could not help the fear creeping up her spine as she heard the tales the other children told during their train ride to Hogwarts. A war had been waged, and the main target had been people like her. Muggleborns. And the other children kept on whispering about how all these bad people seemed to have come from Slytherin and how none of them wanted to be sorted there.
And young eleven year old Mar was so, so scared. All of a sudden, the prospect of leaving home was not so exciting after all.
'You mean to say people at the school I am going to spend the next seven years in tried to kill people like me?' The thought ran through her mind hundreds of times and left her blood cold.
Eleven year old, bright-eyed Mar kept quiet during most of that train ride. When the ceremony started and her name was called, she climbed the stairs towards the hat with trembling feet and an even shakier heart. She shuddered as the hat rambled to himself about her traits, and little Mar knew where she would end up even before it finished.
'Are you sure nothing bad will happen to me?' she asked, in a small voice.
The hat let out a sharp laugh in reply, and whispered 'I am positive. That house is much changed, and it is time for others to see it. Also, I have not seen so much drive and ambition in a young one for a long time. Slytherin is the place for you, believe me. It's your house.'
A few seconds passed and she didn't reply. 'Do you trust me?' It asked.
Mar took a deep breath.
'Yes.'
And then, the hat shouted the name of the house she had just spent the entire day learning to fear.
The hall stayed quiet for a few seconds as Professor Longbottom took the hat from her head and ushered her forwards. As she looked towards the table that had only slightly more than half of the people the others had, they jumped to their feet and made the most raucous they could muster. Clapping and smiling and shouting. She had been the first one that year to be sorted to Slytherin, all the other ten before her having been sorted everywhere else.
That year, eight were sorted and Mar could not help but notice how happy their older classmates looked. She soon learn that, for the first time in several years, the house had finally gone back to having a decent amount sorted.
And that night, as they guided the quiet group of first years towards the dungeons, the two Prefects smiled a lot, and asked questions and probed them along, making all they could to relax them. And as they entered the common room, Mar was shocked to see it full.
And as they were all quickly told, this was tradition – and Slytherins were very fond of traditions. The whole house was to welcome the 'baby snakes', as they were called. And for that to be done properly, they sat the stunned and shy group near the fireplace, passed them chocolate chip cookies and mugs of tea and hot chocolate, and quickly found places where to seat themselves.
And for the next two hours, their classmates told them stories of famous Slytherins, famous good Slytherins. Merlin and war heroes and Ministers of Magic and activists.
"Once you become a Slytherin, you're one of us. And we will always have your back." a tall, dark-haired boy with glasses said, tone serious and grave, as everyone around nodded in agreement.
"We're family." One of the older girls sitting in front of them uttered, a warm smile gracing her pale skin and pristine features "No matter what others may say, we are all family here. And family takes care of one another"
As they were taken to their rooms, Mar fell quickly asleep, smile on her face, heart and worries soothed, the sounds of the lake above so very calming.
The memory makes me smile. Rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin had reached new heights during the years straight after the war, my older classmates had told me. But when my first year came around, tensions had dwindled. Nevertheless, it was something that only truly managed to be placated during the years that followed. And nowadays, there was rivalry, yes, but less prejudice.
But after all, the truth still remains: Gryffindor likes beating us at every possible competition only slightly less than we like beating them.
And as I turn my attention back to the novel on my lap, I can't help but think how the first night back at the castle is easily one of my favourite things. Looking up at the Great Hall's enchanted ceiling, running with all the older classmates down to the dungeons to get the cookies, tea and hot chocolate ready before they get there, the late night of catching up with the dorm mates. It makes my chest swell with a familiar warmth.
I'm glad to be back.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter (even though it wasn't too Teddy/Mar filled - but I promise these two will spend more time together soon enough)! :) For those who commented and favourited and followed: thank you so much, it made my days all that much brighter.
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- catairly