What up, everyone? I hope you enjoy this chapter. Some important steps are taken in this chapter as Kerrianne and Haldir's fledgling relationship begins.
Let me know what you think and thanks so much for reading!
As always, I don't own anything and I make no money from this (sadly).
-ChoupetteLagerfeld
—-
"My Lady," Haldir bowed to Galadriel, his face showing no sign of discomfort. Kerrianne gaped at him, her cheeks still burning in a deep blush. How could he be so damn nonchalant all the time? They'd basically just been having a huge heart-to-heart a second ago. She sent him a quick glare when his eyes flickered over to her and to her immense displeasure she noticed the hint of a smirk on his lips. What a jerk.
"March Warden. I was not expecting you back from the border so soon," Galadriel returned Haldir's greeting.
"There is nothing to report. All is quiet and I saw no reason to remain on watch. One of my brothers can take my place," Haldir replied. Galadriel nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer.
"Lady Galadriel, I am sorry to bother you so late," Kerrianne interrupted and bowed her head in respect (and embarrassment). She couldn't wait a second later to speak to the Lady.
"It is no matter. I was awake, as it so happens. I assume you have something pressing to discuss or you would not be here," Galadriel motioned for Kerrianne to follow her up the steps and into the talan. Haldir, of course, took it as an invitation to follow as well.
"Yes, I had a dream. More of a vision, really, and I think it might be a clue as to why I'm here," Kerrianne explained, her heart pumping away erratically in her chest. She just knew deep down that this vision was step one to getting her home. It had to be.
"Let us sit on the balcony. I like the starlight," Galadriel made herself comfortable on a padded bench on the balcony outside. Kerrianne sat on a chair beside her and Haldir stood, his hands held behind his back and his feet apart, the epitome of a soldier. Kerrianne chose to ignore him and spoke only to Galadriel as she explained her vision and her reasoning. The three of them remained in silence for a moment after she was finished with her story.
"I see why you brought this to my attention straight away," Galadriel finally replied. "You were having a crisis of identity before you found yourself in my forest," Kerrianne nodded. She supposed Galadriel was right. "And during this time you were not in control of your emotions or your abilities. I would say the reason you are here is you yourself," Galadriel leaned back and studied Kerrianne's stunned face.
"Shouldn't that mean I can send myself back if I sent myself here?" Kerrianne asked, her voice shaking.
"I cannot say… The mind, especially one such as yours, is a mystery. Because you did not try to come here, I doubt you can try to send yourself back to your home. Only time will tell," Galadriel replied, not unkindly.
"So I'm really stuck here?" Kerrianne muttered, deflated. She truly had believed that Galadriel would be able to help her get home. To have those hopes dashed was painful, to say the least.
"It appears so. For now," Galadriel didn't give her any false hopes.
"But what does all this mean? That I'm meant to be here? If I could send myself to another… dimension, then what else am I capable of? What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I'm never going to see my family again. I can never go home." Kerrianne's breath was coming faster and she could feel an anxiety attack coming on. She clutched her chest as she tried to catch her breath. Tears filled her eyes as the reality of her situation hit her square in the stomach.
"I am sorry Kerrianne but I do not have the answers you seek. You have a home and friends here among the elves. Don't lose yourself to such anguish," Galadriel reached out a hand to Kerrianne.
"No!" Kerrianne panicked and swatted Galadriel away as she jumped up from her seat. She ran from the talan and down the stairs, not listening as Galadriel called after her. Her only thought was to flee and to be alone.
She had never moved so fast in her life as her feet flew down the stairs and into the private garden near Galadriel's talan. She finally paused for breath next to a fountain, the trickling of the clear water soothing her slightly. She jumped when a hand fell upon her back but when she turned, it was only Haldir before her.
Kerrianne turned her face away from him, too embarrassed to be seen. Haldir didn't say anything but Kerrianne found his presence next to her oddly comforting. She stared down at her reflection in the water, hardly recognizing the tear-streaked face before her. The girl in the water looked pale and scared. She was a complete loss.
"What am I supposed to do now?" Kerrianne finally asked in a choked whisper, hating how defeated her own voice sounded.
"You continue surviving," Haldir answered, his clear, strong voice sounding from beside her.
"That's the best advice you have for me?" Kerrianne growled, whipping around to shove him, her hands smacking against his chest as she pushed him in frustration. He allowed her the abuse, not saying anything, and took a step back. Surely he wouldn't have budged unless he wanted to, and Kerrianne was painfully aware of the fact.
"Just survive? I don't want to survive, Haldir! I want to be happy! I want a purpose. I want to see things, to travel, to meet people. To get married and maybe even have a family one day… How am I going to do that if I'm living in the fucking forest with a bunch of elves for the rest of my life?!" Kerrianne spat out, her chest heaving in anger and a deep pain as the realization sunk in that she would never be able to fulfill all those dreams.
"I'm sorry that we elves are not good enough for you. I suppose you will live in misery until the end of your days in our company," Haldir's voice was cold and his face sealed in a stone mask of disappointment. All the wind left Kerrianne's sails as she realized the implications of what she said.
"That's not what I meant. I'm sorry," Kerrianne slumped down on the edge of the fountain. New tears came to her eyes at her guilt for the harsh words she spoke to Haldir. He was only trying to help her.
"I love the elves and I'll always be grateful for everything your people have done for me. I just never expected to not go home," She sniffed, wiping her face. Haldir's stony expression softened.
"I know," He replied and sat beside her. "You know you can still do all those things you mentioned," His voice was quiet.
"Really? All of it?" Kerrianne asked.
"Yes," Haldir answered, his blue eyes burning her brown ones.
"With the elves?" Kerrianne's voice was once more a whisper. Her head was spinning at the meaning of Haldir's words. Could she really do everything she'd mentioned? Even the marriage and kids part?
"Yes," He replied again. Haldir stared down at her, letting Kerrianne decide what the next move would be. She slowly edged closer and after a second of deliberation, she pushed her lips up against his in the lightest of kisses. His mouth stayed still as she kissed him but his hands curled around hers and when she pulled away, he brought her against him and she laid her head down on his shoulder.
Maybe things would be alright after all.
—-
Kerrianne woke early the next morning to a knock on her door. She had been having the sweetest dream about a certain blonde elf when she was so rudely awakened. She grumbled to herself as she threw off her covers and found her way to the door of her talan.
"Yeah?" She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she sung open the door, not bothering to check who it was. She expected Ferruel, who she hadn't seen in the last couple days. Kerrianne was looking forward to some girl talk.
"Get dressed. I'll wait," Haldir barged past her into the talan as Kerrianne gaped and her hands clutched at the thin, wrinkled silk dress in embarrassment. The night before she had simply fallen into bed exhausted, not nothing to change into actual bedclothes. How did he always manage to see her in a state of undress?
"Close the door and stop acting so modest. I saw you clothed the same way last night. Or have you forgotten?" Haldir asked, his eyebrow quirked up, silently challenging Kerrianne.
"Of course I haven't forgotten!" Kerrianne swung the door closed harder than was necessary and it snapped shut with a satisfying clap. "What are you doing here?" She asked, crossing her arms over chest, deciding then and there that she would sleep in a bra from now on.
"Last night you confided all of the things you wished to do back at your home," Haldir stated, his eyes sparkling as he studied her. Kerrianne's hair was even more disheveled than the previous night and her dress was much more translucent in the light of day. She stood her ground and tried not to appear as uncomfortable as she felt under his gaze. His interest was flattering to say the least, but her nerves were raw as it was. She couldn't deal with an oversexed (or was it undersexed?) elf at the moment.
"And?" She in turn studied Haldir. For just getting back from the border last night, he looked like he was ready to venture out again. He was clearly dressed for a venture in the forest. There was a pack slung across his chest and his bow and quiver strapped to his back. He had on soft leather boots and his beautiful blonde hair was braided back from his face. He couldn't look more like a character from a fantasy movie if he tried. Infuriatingly, it worked for him. Like really worked for him.
"If you are done staring, I'd love to explain why I'm here," Haldir interrupted her thoughts, causing a blush to stain her cheeks.
"Sorry," Kerrianne replied stupidly, before she could catch herself. She could kick herself for basically admitting she'd been checking him out.
"Don't be," Haldir said cheekily with a grin. "I'm here to show you that you can do everything you wish," He said, excitement clear in his eyes. Kerrianne's mind swiftly made the leap to sex, marriage, and kids and her eyes widened. Surely he wasn't here for that.
"Go get dressed. Today you will travel with me," Haldir stated, a hint of pride in his voice.
"Really?" Kerrianne exclaimed, allowing herself to revel in the idea of a new adventure. While she had truly enjoyed living with the elves these last few weeks, she was starting to get bored with the same old every day. She longed to see something new.
"Yes. Not too far. Just to the border; but there will be many new sights for you," Haldir replied, his smile answering hers.
"Oh, thank you, Haldir!" Kerrianne crossed the room and smacked a kiss on his lips before the thought even registered in her brain. "I'll just be a minute!" She called as she scurried into her bedroom to find something to wear on her trip into the forest, completely energized by the idea of traveling with Haldir.
"Put on something practical! I can't have you traipsing through the forest in a dress," Haldir's gruff voice sounded after her and Kerrianne giggled at the idea of her kiss catching him off-guard. It was about time she surprised him. She couldn't wait to see what he had in store for them.