AN: Hey guys Em here, just real quick note so you get he rest of the story, so the first few paragraphs is in present tense cause, what's happening is supposed to be present day, and then when Edmund begins talking it shifts to past tense, and first person, and it will be like that for the rest of the story. Anyway Thank you, and be sure to let me know if there is anything I should change, like errors and stuff like that. Anyway, love y'all, and READ AND REVIEW❤️
Ep. 1 Pilot
(50 years after prologue)
Eustace and Jill sit in the middle of the living room bored out of their wits. "Of course it would be raining." Eustace mumbles under his breath, as he tries repositioning himself on the couch.
"Oh do stop that grumbling Eustace!" His sister Jill groans. "Your giving me a headache." Rolling her eyes, she turns the page of the book she's reading which is, To Kill A Mocking Bird. She can understand her brother had been excited for spring break, and the fact that for the first few days it had been raining was rather annoying, she could also stand for less complaints; but Eustace had always been a pessimist.
Edmund sits on his chair across from the kids, reading a book from his study, and is in agreement with both of them, for one it was a rather boring day thanks to the rain, but two, Eustace's grumbling did not help make it any better. Edmund leans back in his chair, remembering when he was their age and smiles with nostalgia. And then it hits him.
"Hey Kids!" Edmund says excitedly, pulling his chair up in front of them. They look up in a confused daze. "I think it's time for me to tell you the incredible and epic story," he then pauses for effect. "Of how I met your mother." He awaits their excited reaction, but is met with an unwavering glare.
"Are we being punished for something?" Eustace asks in agony.
"No?" Edmund replies confused at Eustace's tone.
"Yah is this gonna take a while?" Jill asks leaning back into the couch shutting her book.
"Yes." Eustace and Jill groan. sinking into their seats. Although they seem quite annoyed, Edmund smiles anyway.
"You see 27 years ago, before I was Dad, I had a whole other life..."
(20 years after the prologue)
It was mid July of the year 2015, and you see kids it was one hell of a week for me, I was moving away from my small hometown in Ohio, to an amazing place of opportunity called New York City to start college at Hunter University. The week I had decided to move was also the same week my idiot older brother Peter was getting married.
Now marriage is supposed to be a day of excitement, and happiness for the couple as well as the family, however it was going to end up being a day consisting of mostly anger and confusion, since no one in our family had even met the girl yet, or had even seen my brother in about four years. He didn't even invite me to the wedding, I heard about it from our mutual friend Caspian who was attending.
You see about 4 years earlier Peter and Caspian left everything to move out to New York and work towards their dreams; Caspian, to be on Broadway and Peter to be an architect. My brother stayed out if touch for all those years, if it hadn't been for Caspian, who would call every once and a while to give us an update, I would've assumed Peter was dead or who knows what.
So when I called up Caspian to tell him I was moving to the city, the last thing I expected to hear was that Peter was engaged, and planning to elope. When I had decided to transfer to Hunter University I didn't think much about Peter, except that maybe after the long four years apart we could reconnect. However hearing that he hadn't even bothered to invite me to his wedding, or even cared to tell me he was engaged, I wasn't really sure I even wanted to see him at all, ever again. Caspian had convinced me that the only reason he knew about the wedding was because Peter needed to have witness attend in order for the marriage to be official; and although he hadn't spoken to Peter about it, Caspian insisted I come with him to watch the ceremony. I had reluctantly agreed, but I decided that after the wedding Peter and I would probably not speak again, unless he had a reasonable explanation.
Kids I couldn't have been more wrong about the situation, for as soon as the week ended, Peter and I would be back to being loving brothers, and see each other everyday single day, at least, till I met your mother.
The wedding was on Friday, according to Caspian, and school didn't start for another 3 weeks, so I was free for a while; besides unpacking my things in my one bedroom apartment, but that could wait, for I had a city to see.
After calling Caspian and arranging a cab, we met at a nearby bar called MacLaren's and sat down to drink a beer.
"You are gonna love the city Ed." Caspian said taking a swig of his beer. Caspian was what some would call, a ladies man. He, based off quotes from various girls, was a long brown haired, chocolate eyed, dreamboat, who had a way with words. He called himself my designated wingman, and was determined to get me laid by the end of the week. I tried to explain to him, I wasn't looking for anything casual, but he didn't really understand, he sort of had this anti-relationship outlook.
"New York is like a candy shop but with women instead of candy." he said nonchalantly, pointing to a blonde woman. "You got your dumb blondes," then pointing to an African American women, "Your tribal goddesses, and..." He sighed, "my new personal favorite," giving a childish giggle, "Lebanese girls."
I rolled my eyes in disgust. "God Caspian." I grumbled taking a swig of my own beer. Sometimes, he was a sex crazed pig, or more like most of the time.
The night seemed like a drag, but I tried to steer the conversation to something more interesting. "So what is she like, Peter's fiancé ?" I was pretty interested considering I had never met her. It seemed very unlike Peter, not introducing us at the very least. I mean, the Peter I knew was a shy mumbling idiot, who could barely talk to a girl without shitting himself. Plus he was a hopeless romantic, and I would've thought he would be into the whole meet the parents thing. Like I knew that he was having a difficult time keeping in touch, but I never would have thought he would keep the fact he was engaged from me, especially not from Uncle Digory and Aunt Polly. Uncle Digory and Aunt Polly had raised us, and were practically our Mom and Dad, they had been there for us as long as we could remember. Peter was usually the good son, whereas I was the one who got into trouble.
"You know it's funny," Caspian started, pulling me from my thoughts. "I haven't met her. Come to think of it, I don't know if anyone has, it was all really sudden." I just couldn't understand it, he hadn't told me first, now even Caspian didn't know her, and he lived in New York. For Christ's sake Caspian was Peter's roommate for the past four years until he moved in with his fiancé. How could he not-
And then suddenly it didn't matter. All the sudden, I saw... her. There she was, like something from an old movie, where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl? I'm going to marry her someday."
"Hey Caspian," I began, nudging my friend. "You see that girl." Caspian turned and hinted a smile, "oh yeah, you know she likes it dirty." I frowned. "Go say hi."
I began to talk nervously. That palm sweaty kind of nervousness, that usually leads to ridiculous ideas. "I can't just go say "Hi." I need a plan, I'm going to wait until she goes to the bathroom, then I'll strategically place myself by the jukebox, so that when she comes…."
Caspian rolled his eyes. "Or we could play a little game called, Have you met Ed?"
My eyes widened. "Wait, no. No, no, no. We're not playing "Have You Met Ed." But it was too late, in the midst of my sentence The woman had walked toward the bar, giving Caspian the perfect opportunity to tap her shoulder and say, "Hi, have you met Ed?" Before brushing his hands together and walking away, leaving me, a mumbling idiot with my dream girl.
"Hi," I begin, turning tomato red.
"Let me guess, Ed?" She said in a lovely British accent, pointing to me.
I laughed slightly. "The one and only Edmund Martin." And she smiled back.
The night went on like a fairytale, she was absolutely amazing. She grew up in Finch land, was obsessed with Lord of the Rings, and Battlestar Galactica; she was pretty much everything I had ever dreamed of, wrapped up in one spectacular person. However the clock struck midnight and Cinderella had to leave the ball. "Wait, we have to see each other again." I said, she chuckled.
"But of course, but this weekend isn't good, is it to crazy to ask to see each other tomorrow?"
I stepped outside holding the door for her. "Not at all, it would be my pleasure." I said coolly, trying to hide my excitement over the fact I was going to see her TOMORROW!
"Well then I will meet you here tomorrow." She laughed, giving me a little wave and then walking down the road.
"I will see you tomorrow." I whispered, more to myself then to her and made my way home in the opposite direction.
The next night, I tried to up my game a bit. I decided to bring her to this little bistro in Brooklyn.
"That is some blue horn." She laughed staring up to the strange bright blue ivory horn that hung above us.
"It's magical." I said whilst twirling the spaghetti around my fork. She chuckled taking a bite of her meatball. "Supposedly if you blow it help will come to you no matter where you are." She arched her eyebrows, grinning. "Although it sort of looks like a... Smurf penis." She choked on her meatball.
Son, a piece of advice: When you go on a first date, you really don't want to say "Smurf penis," girls don't ordinarily like that. But this was no ordinary girl. After taking a second to regain her breath, she lost it again by laughing incessantly along with me.
Things were going terrifically, to say the least, until. "Oh sorry, I have to take this." The girl said quickly answering her phone. "Hello... Yes I... I know but I... I am on a date... That's not fair you... I know your doing this for me... I won't get cau- I know your right... I, alright I will... Bye."
I eyed her curiously. "What was that about?"
She began to put on her coat. " I am sorry, it was my-" she paused. "Brother, I forgot I promised to, um, watch his dog tonight. Look I am sorry, I am having a really fun time, do you think we can meet up again another night?"
I faked a smile. She was ditching me. "Of course, no I totally understand."
She smiled placing her hand on my shoulder. "I am so sorry." She was about to turn to leave, but suddenly she looked back at the blue horn and laughed slightly. "You know I really need to get one of those to hang over my fire place, has to be blue, has to be magical." She winked.
My smile softened, "It's a Smurf penis or no dice." She laughed again.
"Good night Ed." She said solemnly, and kissed me on the cheek, then left out into the snowy night.
It was only after I paid and was almost home that I realized I never had actually gotten her number, since this date we met at the bar, I hadn't needed it.
I thought I would never see that girl again, but it turns out, I was just too close to the puzzle to see the picture that was forming. The thing is, I ended up seeing her that Friday. That's the funny thing about destiny, it happens whether you plan it or not, because kids when I arrived at Peter's wedding that Friday afternoon, the last thing I expected to see was the girl of my dreams standing there, for the girl that I was falling head over heals for, was none other than Peter, my brothers, fiancé. For that, kids, is the true story, of how I met your Aunt Susan.
"What? She was Aunt Susan?"
"She was marrying Peter?"
"I thought this was the story of how you met Mom?!" Jill and Eustace cry out in unison whilst throwing their hands in the air.
"Relax, I am getting to that, like I said it's a long story."