Chapter 6: Where Are U Now

Amy POV

"Amy! What is that?" Lauren screamed after spotting the bag of coke that spilled out of Amy's purse.

"Nothing Lauren. Don't worry about it." Amy said while quickly reaching down and putting her stash back into her purse.

"Amy. Are you doing drugs? Are you sniffing coke? Is that why you've been acting so weird lately?"

Amy stayed quiet. She had no idea what to say. She instead focused on driving.

"Amy please talk to me. I need to know what is going on. Please tell me this isn't what it looks like."

Amy couldn't stand it any longer. As she stared onto the road, a tear fell down her cheek; she bit her lips as they began to tremble.

"Amy pull over. It's okay." Amy did what she was told.

"Shane can you please give us a minute." Lauren asked Shane and he left the car.

"I'm sorry Lauren" Amy sobbed.

"It's okay. Just tell me what is going on. When did this start?"

"A couple of months ago. After the wedding."

Lauren studied Amy. She finally saw how broken her sister was and a tear ran down her cheek because it took her this long to notice.

"Amy a couple of months ago Karma broke your heart. Please don't tell me you are doing this because of Karma."

Amy made eye contact with Lauren for the first time since she got into the car. Lauren could read Amy like a book.

"Oh my gosh. AMY! Karma is not a good enough reason to risk your health like this. Why would you do this to yourself? How hard is it to just get over her?" Lauren screamed.

"I DON'T KNOW LAUREN, IT'S NOT THAT EASY. You don't know what it feels like to want someone so badly, to fall in love with someone just so they won't want you back. It sucks, and everything sucks right now. Karma doesn't feel comfortable around me, I'm still not over her, and mom hates me." Amy broke down in even more tears.

"Why does Farrah hate you?"

Amy sat still, resting her head on the steering wheel. She collected herself and said, "Mom found my drugs, the day of the heart attack and I'm pretty sure that is what caused it."

Lauren sat there in disbelief. Everything makes sense now. The reason Farrah never talked directly to Amy, why Amy always looked guilty, like she killed someone and it turns out the truth was closer to that than expected.

Lauren grabbed Amy's hand off the steering wheel. "Amy please look at me. I know everything is fucked up right now but we can fix it, I promise. You just have to kick this habit. I don't think mom hates you, I think she is just in denial of what's going on. She doesn't want to accept the fact that her daughter might be using. She couldn't hate you. "

"I know Lauren and I'm really trying, I'm serious, I just need it for a while. I promise, I will stop soon. This is how I'm quitting. I don't use as much as I did before. I'm telling my body to lower its tolerance by using little by little." Amy explained.

"Amy I think you need help. Let's just tell someone. Mom knows someone, maybe we can get help for you."

"No! Please Lauren! I don't want anyone else to know. I can kick this by myself; I just need a little time. Please don't tell anyone Lauren." Amy pleaded.

"Okay… But I'm not gonna put up with this any longer. Another incident where you could get hurt and I'm telling, Okay?"

"Yes Lauren! Thank you Lauren!"

Lauren wasn't okay with the deal she made with her sister but she had no idea how to deal with this type of situation in the first place. She didn't want to get Amy in trouble and she knows Amy can take care of herself –well, sort of- so she decided to watch over her sis very carefully.

They told Shane to get back in the car and they drove back the rest of the way in silence.

Amy collapsed on her bed. She felt gross. She had a massive headache from crying, her clothes clung to her from sweating on the dancefloor, and lastly she was just exhausted. She began to cry because she knew that she wasn't strong enough to do this by herself. But at the moment it was her only option. If she could kick the habit then maybe her mother could really forget what she found on Amy's bed. Amy could maybe figure out a way to make things okay between her and Karma. And maybe Amy would be able to feel okay for one day without needing the drugs.