Chapter 4: Part II
"And the way you read my mind."
Family dinners were never Jade's strong suit- certainly not with her own family and most definitely not with Beck's. However, when Beck's mother begrudgingly invited Jade to Beck's birthday dinner, she knew that she had to accept if she ever hoped to get anywhere with the woman after three years. The truth was, Jade knew that Beck's family didn't like her and although she normally gave no fucks about people's opinions, the thought of Beck's family truly hating her terrified her. Beck meant more than anything to Jade, and if his own family couldn't see that after three years, then she didn't know what to do. Beck gave Jade the usual warnings that he gave her on the rare occasions that Beck's family included Jade, most of them essentially preventing Jade from opening her mouth at risk of insulting someone. Unfortunately, they both knew that was pretty much impossible. Jade's very existence essentially insulted Beck's family. The Oliver's were a very close-knit, respectable, and relaxed family. They had huge dinners for every holiday and birthday, and they vacationed with their extended family every summer. Beck's family had absolutely no idea how he ended up with Jade, who was so wildly different from all of them. Unbeknownst to them, when they first met her Jade had just found out that her father had a new girlfriend and she was moving in. All they knew was that she was crass and rude, and Jade angrily decided to simply let them judge her- until now.
Jade wished that her bedroom's mirror would swallow her as she turned and scrutinized her every inch. Honestly, it was ridiculous. She never put this much effort into her looks, she liked her clothes and felt completely confident in whatever she put on. Now, however, she couldn't help wondering if the black lace dress that she was wearing came up too high or was too tight. Her knuckles turned white from how much she tugged at the dress. Sighing, Jade pulled on a black jacket, headed down her stairs, and out to her jeep.
It was cold, not the morning chill that Jade adored; rather, the chill of the evening after a heavy rain had just ended. Between her nerves, annoyance at her nerves, and the cold, Jade was shivering by the time she reached her Jeep. As she slid into the even colder interior, she sighed and watched little ringlets of breath escape her mouth. Gripping the wheel tightly, she began to drive, purposely not turning on the heat. She needed the cold to keep her present as she drove to Beck's. Her mind was a cacophony of thoughts, each one more troubling than the other. Jade hated this. She hated caring or having to prove the fact that she cared to someone. She hated family gatherings. She hated the tension and anxiety grating on her nerves at the moment, and before she knew it, her headlights were casting a soft-yellow/white glow on the front of Beck's RV.
Coming to a stop, Jade's grip only tightened on the wheel, her knuckles now ghostly white. She began to contemplate reversing straight out of his driveway and heading to Cat's when the door to Beck's RV opened, Beck appearing in the doorway, illuminated by Jade's headlights. She could do this, she could make it through this dinner and convince Beck's family to at least tolerate her. His parents had given up on trying to break them up, but he received frequent calls from his aunts and uncles warning him that Jade would ruin his life. Taking a deep breath, Jade made her way to Beck.
"I was wondering if you were going to actually get out for a second there," Beck teased her as Jade stood in front of him. She glared at him in response. Beck took notice of his girlfriend's clothing. He knew that Jade would look beautiful no matter what, but she'd truly put in effort for tonight. He even noticed that her hair was a tad more styled than usual. Seeing the clouded expression on Jade's face, Beck sighed and stepped towards her, his hands caressing her soft features. Jade shied away from him at first, collapsing into herself, but Beck pulled her back- like he always did. Slowly, he moved one hand to her back and slid it down until it rested on the curve just above her butt.
Slightly pushing her towards him, he caressed her cheek again and softly said, "You look gorgeous, babe." Jade smiled against his lips, feeling safe for the first time that night. She didn't know if she could do it, but this goofy boy reminded her of why she had to try and survive this dinner.
The pair walked up the rest of the driveway to Beck's front door. Jade's hand firmly clasped in Beck's, him whispering little words of encouragement to her along the way. Beck's mother greeted them at the door, her warm and inviting smile turning slightly icy as she glanced at Jade. It took everything in Jade's power not to retort with anything other than a "hello," as she made her way into the Oliver's foyer. Jade never knew what freaked her out more about Beck's house, the fact that it was so unbelievably littered with sentiment or the fact that, unlike her family, the sentiment was genuine and constant. One would pass photo after photo when going anywhere in Beck's house. Not getting to see them often, Jade took her time to see the pictures as she made her way into the dining room.
The cacophonous sounds of laughter and conversation flooded her ears as she neared the dining room. She could distinctively hear Beck's Aunt Vicki's annoying Canadian accent. The very same accent that Jade was sure would soon be grilling Jade on every aspect of her life and relationship with Beck. As the couple entered the room, the atmosphere noticeably shifted as the noise died down to a soft hum. Most of the family greeting Beck in excitement and then resting in quiet disapproval at the sight of Jade. Jade squeezed Beck's hand so hard, she was sure she'd injured him in some way. This was sensory overload for Jade. Too many things and people to defend herself from, and Jade couldn't seem to find an escape. She could feel Beck's thumb tracing little circles on her hand, he being keenly aware of Jade's anxiety. Quietly, he led her to her seat and allowed her to regain some composure as he sat down next to her. Jade turned to Beck with a maddening expression in her eyes, warning him that she might explode.
For the most part, dinner had gone smoothly. There were a few snide remarks here and there about Beck's choice in women and Jade's attitude; however, outside of that, everyone was mostly civil. Even Jade cut her tongue to most of the conversation. Still, Jade knew better than to allow herself to relax even a little bit. She had to stay on her toes in case someone attacked. Beck could sense Jade's tension. To Jade's chagrin, Beck was able to read her like a book. In once glance or movement, he could pretty accurately decipher what was going on with her. Jade tried to tune out the voices around her, and focus on Beck's soothing hand, running along the length of her thigh. She leaned into him a little, letting him know that she appreciated his support. And just as quickly as a little bit of relief came, it fled as that Canadian accent sliced through to Jade.
"So, Jade, what are the plans for school for the rest of the year? Any shows?"
"Um, yeah. I mean, we don't really have a say unless we put them up ourselves. We're still waiting to hear back about the mainstages, but I'm probably doing a show of my own again, so-"
"Oh that's cute!" cooed Aunt Vickie, an icy condescendence in her voice. "You know, sweetie, I admire your vigor. Not really getting any substantial roles doesn't have to discourage you. Leads aren't meant for everyone. I know that your shows draw a particular crowd, and you just keep on impressing them. Who knows, you may even get a big wig in there someday." Knuckles clenched, Jade's mouth twisted as she ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek, trying to remain calm. She could feel Beck squeezing her thigh, warning her to not get engaged. Despite her best efforts, rage was boiling inside of her and she had a sudden desire to wrap her fingers around her dinner knife as she assessed the amused smirks in the room. Everyone, even Beck's family, knew that Tori and Jade had become rivals in their department. As of late, Jade had been losing, most of the roles going to Tori. Jade thrived on never showing anyone her insecurities, and talk of this subject forced her to face them head on.
"Well, I don't know how things are done in Canada, but here, high school theatre doesn't really dictate your life or roles in the real world, Hollywood Arts or not," Jade replied, venomous sarcasm dripping from every word. Her eyes, two blue icy orbs were locked onto Vicki, daring her to say something else.
"Well, then I'm sure that my sister can relish in knowing that there will no longer be an insufferable brat riding on my nephew's talent once he graduates."
"Aunt Vicki!" Beck retorted, his eyes narrowing at his aunt in defense of Jade. Jade simply shook her head and pushed her chair back from the table, now in full fury. Standing up, she slammed her plate onto the table and let her anger spill out of her mouth.
"You know what? Fuck this. None of you assholes are ever going to like me, and I honestly just don't give a shit anymore. I love Beck, okay? And I would never intentionally do anything to hurt him. And according to the way that Beck talks about all of you all of the fucking time- that should be enough for you. I'm not perfect: I'm angry, I'm loud, and I'm overly opinionated, but at least I'm honest. And I love him. I love your son," Jade professed, turning to look at Beck's parents, her slender finger pointed at Beck.
Turning back to Beck's aunt, her eyes narrowed and she snapped, "And your chicken was dry, Vicki."
Jade looked around at the shocked faces of Beck's family. She'd crossed a major line, and there was no way to undo this damage. Another person may have tried to excuse herself or immediately beg for forgiveness. Jade West was never one to show regret for her angry outbursts, so instead she grabbed her purse and looked down at Beck, still staring at his girlfriend- shock and disappointment written across his face.
"I'm sorry I ruined your dinner," Jade whispered to him, "Happy Birthday."
The cigarette's light glowed softly as trembling lips enveloped its perimeter, staining its stark white with ruby red lipstick. Jade inhaled the smoke, allowing its toxins to fill her. It burned, but she breathed into the pain, relishing in the sweetness of it. Jade didn't think it was possible, or safer, for her to be going any faster than she already was, but she was more than willing to push the limits as she pressed her foot down harder on the gas. Tears clouded her vision, but Jade viciously wiped them away, determined to just get home and in bed. She could hear her phone buzzing in her bag, no doubt with Beck on the other end, trying desperately to reach his girlfriend. He ran out after her when she tore out of his house, screaming her name and pleading for her to just wait and talk to him, but she couldn't. As much as Jade wanted to turn around and run into Beck's arms, she needed to get away. Jade couldn't handle all of that hate and disappointment, especially from the family of the boy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Everyone believed that Jade was just cold and angry, everyone except for Beck and Cat. They saw her in her moments of rage and became too terrified to bother her afterwards, and that's how she liked it. She didn't want people taking advantage of her vulnerability more than they already did when she exposed it. People got scared and ran away, very few actually stuck around to see the breakdown that proceeded the rage. She couldn't handle Beck's family seeing the latter.
Pulling into her driveway, Jade took a final drag on her cigarette before getting out of the car. She half-heartedly crushed the bud and walked to her front door, the crunch of the gravel soothing her. Upon entering her house, Jade immediately resolved that it was empty. Her father never told Jade when he would be gone, and she was especially grateful for the surprise departure tonight. Running her hands through her now tangled hair, Jade made her way into the pantry. Her heels clacked too loudly in her empty house as she reached the wine cabinet. Her eyes scanned the numerous bottles until they landed on her objective: Merlot. Jade's slender fingers wrapped around the smooth neck of the bottle, swiftly pulling it out of its spot. Grabbing a wine glass, Jade perched herself atop her kitchen island and poured the wine into her glass, happy to see the blood red ocean grow by the second. Closing her eyes, she brought the cool glass to her lips.
Jade couldn't believe that she was still crying, and no matter how much she wiped at them, the tears continued to fall. Standing in her bathroom, Jade peered into the mirror, hands resting on the sink's granite surface. Staring back at her was a younger, vulnerable, tired version of herself. Hair messily placed in a bun atop her head, makeup scrubbed off so harshly that her face was still red in some areas, and another stream of tears making their way down her face. Pathetic, she thought to herself. She turned to her tub, where a bath was drawing. Sighing, she ran her hands through the water, feeling the burning heat of it and smiling lightly in response. The ringing of her doorbell caught her attention. Sighing, Jade pulled a v-neck Beck left at her place over her head and made her way down the stairs, where she now heard rapid banging on the door. Slowly opening the door, Jade heaved a sigh of relief to see that it was, in fact, her boyfriend on the other side. Before a word escaped her lips, Beck's hands were reaching for her, one finding its place wrapped around the back of her neck and the other caressing her cheek and chin. He crashed his lips into hers, giving such force that it caused them both to stumble a bit into Jade's house. Jade immediately responded, wrapping her arms around him and pressing back against his lips. After a moment, they slowly broke apart and Beck looked at her, staring into her eyes with concerned ferocity.
"Jade, I am so sorry."
"Beck-"
"No, listen to me. I am so sorry. They- those assholes! You know, I told them this is why I don't fucking live in their house. That was not cool, you didn't deserve that."
"Beck," Jade said, her hands resting around his face, "this isn't your fault. I'm the one that ruined your dinner. I mean, it was stupid and your birthday isn't even until tomorrow, but I didn't mean to ruin it. I tried." Beck stared at his girlfriend, studying her sullen face with confusion written across his. Finally, he placed a finger under her chin and brought her head up to look at him.
"Babe, I'm not mad at you. You didn't ruin anything. They did. Their gift to me was supposed to be being nice to you. They screwed that up, so I'm here with the only person I'm interested in spending my birthday with." Jade smiled at that, a genuinely beautiful smile that she reserved exclusively for Beck. Tears filled her eyes and she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face between his neck and shoulder. Beck always stuck around to see the breakdown, and she couldn't have been more grateful for that.
The water gently flowed around them as Jade rested her naked back on Beck's bare chest. He kissed her temple and brought his arms around her as she settled against him, allowing herself to completely relax for the first time that night. Glancing at the clock in her bathroom, Jade saw that it was past midnight.
"Happy Birthday," she said softly, her head resting back on Beck's shoulder and her eyes closed. Beck smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head in response.
"So, did you really mean it when you said that I'm the only person you want to spend your birthday with?"
"Of course," Beck said, caught off guard by the question.
"Because it's going to be really annoying to try and cancel that stupid party I asked Andre, Cat, and Robbie to help me plan. I mean, the Mumford & Sons concert, we can do, but the party is kind of at Vega's house and I may or may not have forced her to agree to it two days ago."
"What?" Beck exclaimed, turning his girlfriend a bit to get a better look at her. He wouldn't put it past Jade to play with him, even on his birthday, and then give him another can of lemonade.
"Well, I knew that I couldn't give you a dog or lemonade. And last year we went to that restaurant, but I don't know. This seemed like a better idea. Don't get sentimental," Jade scowled, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend.
"Babe!" Beck exclaimed, eliciting an annoyed groan from Jade. "I love you."
"Okay, okay. I love you, too. Just kiss me," Jade commanded, making Beck laugh as she turned around and crashed her lips into his, moving on top of him to give him his first present of the day.