Hey there readers! I apologize the lack of updating! I REALLY had to think this one through! I wanted to concoct an EPIC mission/Mystery going around in Konoha. There is a Part 1 and Part 2 to this, as you know, this is part one.
Many more people will be making guest appearances, you know, the whole nine yards. And one OC belonging to JerrieHigarashi16 will make an appearance. Then many people will appear as cameos. So enjoy this chapter.
This chapter contains some mystery going around and some "Thing" going around killing people. You know, all that crime scene stuff, investigations and whatnot. Anyways, I made sure to make this as humorous and funny as possible. So enjoy like I said before.
Insane, Chaotic, Mysterious, Humorous and so much more describes this.
And as usual, I thank those who reviewed, alerted and favored. It really means a lot and keeps me going! Haha.
Answers to reviewers:
Snowkid: Why thank you! But, "Surprise Ninja" wasn't originally my idea! I can't take credit for it! Tyler, The Creator (one of my favorite comedians and rappers) made it. Preformed on Loiter Squad, ya' know! Haha, I do however take credit for using it in the last chappie :3. Oh yeah, I finally figured out who to add to this. Mostly EVERYONE but, only too many will go into Therapy after the mystery that happens!
LeMemeFox: Heheh, I feel a bit guilty for not letting Kakashi and Anko kiss (Anko: Damn right, you should!) But hopefully, they kiss in this chappie... Hopefully. There however is implied romance between the two of them! That, I promise. Yeah, inspiration came for the weird kid from a movie! I'll list down references at the end of the chappie! Enjoy this one!
Jimmy: Thanks a lot! Yes, I agree with you. As much fun as it is disturbing the peace, old people are not the ones to mess with. They are more deadly... Haha. Yeah! AMC, love it! Esp. The Walking Dead! Yeah, my ninja! About za turban dude, we'll say he was from Inspiration as well! Haha! I'll list references at the end of this chapter!
Jerr: Thanks cuppy-cake! *huggles* Haha... Gotta love old people! There'll be more Anko and Kakashi later on, perhaps more in this epic saga! Yeah, my ninja! Loiter Squad! IIIII LAAKKK CHHEEESSE! Yep, Rikku's gonna be up in this part one! And she makes a cameo appearance in part two! Loves ya too! Enjoy this chappie!
Now, todays MAJOR guest stars
Kakashi Hatake
Iruka Umino
Asuma Sarutobi
Naruto Uzumaki
Might Guy
Sasuke Uchiha
Rikku
? The Mystery Character?
Todays MINOR characters
Tsunade
Jiraiya
Sakura Haruno
Shikamaru Nara
Shizune & Ton-Ton
Anbu forces (they are Cameos that have dialogue)
Medical Nins (Same for them; Cameos that have dialogue)
Neiji Hyuuga
Hinata Hyuuga
Etc
(A whole bunch of people)
And now, our main character:
Anko Mitarashi
Anko: ... Get the fuck out of my face.
Kumi: *sweat-drops* She's under the weather. She is currently expirencing that fucking horrible time... That stupid shit... Ugh! *takes deep breaths* Yeah, some may know what I'm talking about...
Chapter 5: Hebi no bubun Izureka no hidzuke
(A Date with the Serpent; Part One)
Written By: Kumi-Chan/Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan
Starring:
Anko Mitarashi
Etc
Disclaimers: I do not own anything! Kishimoto-semapi owns all of it! Except for the following: STUFF
WARNING: This chapter contains PMS-ing, Paradox Arguements, A bit of horror, crude humor, MAJOR language, shitty attitudes, extreme humor, stuff that may be considered Iruka bashing, weird fortunes, weird mysteries, Some murderer, MAJOR Bipolar attitudes and twisted philosophies. If the following is too much (Yeah right! Hahahah...) I don't know what to do for you... I'm just playing... But I did say it was a chaotic chapter... Not to mention an epic Part 1 and Part 2 saga... Enjoy.. Enough with my babbling! On with the story!
WARNING NUMBER TWO: Any man or boy or male or male transgendered into a woman reading this chapter, beware! It's Not EXTREMELY detailed(That's be just nasty o.o) but Iwarn you about the introduction which features insight on Anko Mitarashi expirencing her menstrual cycle. (This is only featured in Part 1, thank god)Prepare to be enlightened in what a woman or teens will go through at a certain time of the month. I highly warn you, if you are NOT aware, then... Good luck to you and you may be disturbed by the slightest. Still, enjoy the chapter, laugh your ass off at some of the things featured for today and you know, grab a beer, redbull, whatever you drink and there ya' go. I did warn you though.
-Groans-
-Groans-
The violet haired woman clutched her stomach, moaning from the contractions and the extreme pain. It was like she was being stabbed over and over in her lower abdomen... Or more like her poor uterus being squeezed out and being contracted. Oh wait, that was what was happening.
She struggled to find a comfortable spot on her bed. She wiggled around and moaned and groaned from the heavy cramps she got.
I. Fucking. HATE. This. Time. Of. The. Month. She roared in her mind. Anko twisted and turned, trying to find a way to ease the burning and extreme cramping going down in the pit of her stomach.
-groans-
She wiped the little sweat-droplets that collected on her forehead and grabbed the small pillow, digging her nails into the fabric.
All of a sudden, there was a knock on her door.
She grumbled, standing up from her bed and slumped over, walking out of her room and through the front room, to her door.
Anko reluctantly opened the door just to reveal an old lady. Well, two old ladies. Next to the old women's side was a wagon filled with different kind of products.
"Hello young lady. Are you in need of make-up? Because this product I have is- - -"
-SLAM-
The two elderly woman glanced at each other with disdain written all over their wrinkled faces. She slammed the door straight in there faces.
"Well, fuck you." One of the women hissed, grabbing the arms of the other lady and the wagon, heading down the hall.
Anko whimpered and sat cautiously on her love-seat sofa, rubbing her small stomach.
"I know how to ease your cramps." Whispered Renji Hyuuga. The violet haired woman literally flopped off of the sofa and screeched, "What the fuck are you still doing in my damn apartment!"
Renji shrugged his shoulders and sighed, "Eh, Cousin Neiji never came. So this whole time... I was under your bed... I heard you moaning... And I thought that you were touching yourself but now I know it that time of the month... Do... You want to know... How to get rid of the pain...?"
Anko was hesitant for a couple of seconds but ended up nodding her head. "Yeah! Please! Please tell me! One more minute of these fucking cramps and I think I'll go crazy! Lay it on me!" She pleaded, sitting on her knees, continuing to rub her stomach.
Renji pushed up his big glasses on his face that drooped down, and simply advised, "... The key is to... Sit still for the rest of your life. It helps." He smirked and headed towards the door.
"It was most amusing to stay and have a sleep over with you... By the way, you have nice underwear... They smelled nice..." He whipsered, heading out the door.
-Twitch, Twitch-
Mitarashi, grabbed clumps of her dark violet colored hair and groaned loudly. She groaned so loudly that the whole apartment heard her.
*Moments Later*
-Knock, Knock-
*groans*
"Who... Who is at the fucking door." She sternly murmured, opening the door just to reveal Iruka Umino and Asuma Sarutobi. "Uh, hey Anko..." Iruka mumbled, rubbing the lump that sat on his head. Yeah, he still had that. Anko clicked her tongue in annoyance and scolded, "What the hell do you want Buck-o? Can't you see I'm fucking busy?" Anko's eyes welled up with tears and she quickly wiped them shouting, "Don't I get time to make myself look pretty? I hate you for spying on my date! Why the fuck are you here?" She hysterically whined, pulling the stunned and baffled Iruka into a hug. "Hold me, you fucking idiot!" She commanded, wrapping her arms around his neck.
The look that Iruka gave to Asuma fully said: Uh, what the hell is her problem?
"She's most likely PMS-ing... Followed by mood-swings and so much fuckery..." Asuma whispered, loud enough for Iruka to hear, but not Anko.
Iruka smirked and shrugged his shoulders. His next expression read: I don't care... Shiiiittttt... She's embracing me! Looks like my plan list for winning her over is kicking into effect...
"Plan list?" Asuma questioned, rolling his eyes. "A seven month plan for winning her over. Embracing doesn't come until month six... But looks like it's coming early!" He chimed to Asuma, wrapping his arms around Anko's waist.
All of a sudden, Anko pinched the nape of his neck and shouted, "Shut the fuck up! Or do I have to 'surprise ninja' your ass again!" She unwrapped Iruka's hands from her waist and whined, "Where's Kakashi? I want him to hold me... Besides, you smell like fucking baby powder, Buck-o. And stop fucking whispering! And another thing, next time you try to grab my ass, I'm gonna' beat the shit out of you."
*sniffle*
That sniffle didn't come from Anko... It came from Iruka. One moment she loves me, the next she hates me! Women are so... Weird. He cried in his head.
All of a sudden, Jiriaya came jogging down the hall. His wooden sandals, clicked against the wooden floors and his long and thick white pony-tail blew feroiously as he galloped. "What? Ninja, where the hell did you come from?" Iruka inquired, frowning.
"Women are not weird! They are awesome!" He exclaimed, hopping next to Anko. He took a sniff of her scent that linger in the air and smirked, "Yes... The female organ... So amazingly beautiful yet so unstable..."
The only woman between the three men, walked back into her apartment, to the kitchen, popped open the freezer and grabbed the now frozen bagged loaf of bread. She went back to the door and leaned on it's frame, holding the bread out for all three of them to see.
"See this?" She hissed, placing one hand on her hip and glaring at the three of them. "This is going to collide with your faces and I'm gonna' be all like SURPRISE NINJA, MY Ninja and yall' are gonna be like, Huh? What the fuck is a Surprise Ninja? And I'll gladly tell you went I hit this in your fucking faces if you don't shut the hell up and leave. Me. Be." She articulated.
"A-Anko Mitarashi! Anko Mitarashi!" Panted Shizune as she came sprinting down the hall with Ton-Ton in her arms. She stopped at the door and announced, "L-Lady... Tsunade -pant, pant- wants to see you as soon as possible! There has been an outbreak! Many innocent bystanders are in a frenzy! This is really classified information! You and three others will be going on an S-Rank mission! You must meet with her as soon as possible! Code red! Code red! Man-down! Man-down! Bull-a-ca! Bull-a-ca! Six, one, nine! You have to- - -"
"Oink! Oink! Oink!"
Anko covered her ears and ranted, "What the hell is this? Anko's Birthday? Annoy the shit out of Anko Day? I am on my FUCKING period and you bitches want to come and bother me? Huh? And stop all that Damn noise, Shizune! All that Bull-a-ca Bull-a-ca shit! Is it really nessecary? And you too, Porky! Damn! This is bull-Shit! Fuck! I'm fucking cramping my ass of right now and you all want to come here with all of this damn fuckery..."
Crying hysterically again, anko whimpered refering to herself in Third Person, "Anko needs to go change her tampon right now, so please leave a message at the sound of the beep... Beep!" With that, she stepped back inside her apartment and shut the door.
*Silence*
"Okay... That was way too much information..." Asuma blurted out. Everyone mumbled in agreement and Ton-Ton says:
"Oink, Oink!"
Translation: Yeah, I heard cha' my ninja!
*Later On*
"Ahhh!"
A calm and steady sigh escaped the female's lips as the hot water hit against her flesh. She finally got time to relax, after a long nap. Lucky for her, her cramps sub-dued and she was back to her normal self. No mood-swings or nothing!... Except for Irritatablity... Meaning she was prone to getting irritated very quickly... A common sympotom for a feamle on her menstrual cycle.
Her body untensed as the hot water beated down from the shower head, making contact with her skin. The shower filled with steam and the mirrors fogged. All that was heard was the water hitting against the plastic shower curtain and her relaxed sighs.
She was truly starting to be coaxed and feel better.
After washing up, Anko stepped out of the shower and wrapped a creme-colored towel around her naked body that dripped with water. She stepped into her room and started to dry herself off, until she heard foot-steps coming from the other side of her bedroom door...
. . .
Anko was silent, as she grasped a kunai in her right hand and grabbed the door-knob, slowly opening a crack, big enough for her to peek through. Her light brown eyes scanned the front room and scanned a glimpse of the kitchen... No sign of any intrusion...
Maybe I was hearing things... She thought, letting a small sigh escape her lips. She flung her kunai to some random part of her bedroom, continuing to dry off the droplets of water. As soon as she let her defense down, a figure touched her back. She abruptly turned around just to reveal an upside down Naruto Uzumaki. He was hanging from the ceiling fan and flashed Anko a goofy smile. Oblivious to the fact that she was naked, he opened his eyes patted her on the head that was full of violet colored hair.
"Hey Crazy Snake Lady!" He chimed, leaping off of her ceiling fan and flopping down her bed.
"Naruto! What the hell do you think you're doing here!" She yelled, quickly grabbing the towel and covering her body.
"Well, Gramma' Tsunade thought I should come here and tell ya' that she's expecting you to see her soon about the mission of some sort." He explained, folding his arms behind his head as a potiential head-rest.
Mitarashi did nothing but slapped her forehead. She groaned and sighed, "Fine... Just atleast let me get dressed... Perverted boy."
Naruto glanced at Anko and then down to the towel that was wrapped around her naked body. His eyes trailed down to the crevices of her breasts and down to her bare thighs. He automatically blushed feverently and gulped, running out of her room. "Why didn't you just say you were naked! Geez!" He yelled as he left.
-Tsunade's Office-
"You wanted to see me, Lady Tsunade?" Slurred a solemn Anko Mitarashi as she stepped foot into the Lady Hokage's office. She quietly closed to double doors behind her and placed her hands in the pockets of her large over-coats.
Lady Tsunade nodded her head and placed a scroll in front of her desk, glaring at it for a second. Anko however wasn't the only one inside of the Hokage's office. Kakashi Hatake leaned against the wall, with a book of Icha Icha in his hand, Iruka Umino stood by the door, fiddling with his fingers as he saw that Anko had walked in. Lastly there was Might Guy who was striding side to side as a quick exercise warm-up.
Anko's eyes flickered to the three men, then to the scroll and then to the Hokage who had a rather serious expression on her face.
"Looks like you're the Kakashi of the matter..." Guy remarked, smirking smugly. He was refering to Kakashi's common tardiness.
Anko glared, let out a sigh and scratched the nape of her neck. "So, um... What's all this talk about a fiasco happening here in Konoha?" Anko finally asked, prying her full attention on Tsunade.
Tsunade sighed as well and began, "Last night, there was an attack to a young girl. She was apperently attacked, bitten and almost raped until an innocent bystander came an interfered. All of a sudden, he was killed. The girl, luckily was able to escape. However she is quite truamatized from such events and therefore we are unable to gain information on the suspect."
Anko smirked and sassed, "So that's what all of this trouble and talk is about? Some "nearly" rape victim and a murder?"
The Hokage rolled her amber colored eyes and crossed her arms over her large chest.
"Anko-san. That's not all. Last week, we had a break-in at our Lab and the old Konoha Orphanage also happened to receive extreme casualities to the structure. Not to mention the many homicides that have been rising ever since two weeks ago. This isn't just some case we're talking about... It's much more bigger than that. And all of a sudden, people here in the city and claiming to start seeing the Ghost of the Third Hokage... This city is falling into chaos. That's why I am assembling a four-man team, consisting of you, Kakashi, Guy and Iruka." Tsunade further explained.
Anko narrowed her eyes and sassed once more, "Not this mumbo-jumbo crap about ghosts. How many people have reported to see this 'ghost' of The Third Hokage?"
Iruka answered that question, "Over 15 of my students, including a few elderly people as well as a few young people."
"And just how much is a few? Be specific Iruka." She snapped. Iruka shrugged his shoulders, "I'd say about four or five... But I'm not for sure..." He lowly said, as chagrin washed in the features of his face.
"I'm sending you four to check out the Orphanage, the crime scene and then after that, I'd like you, Anko, to give therapy to the victim and some of the people who have reported to seeing this 'ghost'. Bring me a status report by the end of the day..." Tsunade announced, handing Kakashi the scroll. With that short breifing, she sent them off to start on the fiasco that was going down. Little did they know, what hell they were going to get themselves into.
*Team 7's Meeting Place*
"Where do you think Kakashi-Sensei has gone off to, Sasuke-kun?" Inquired a curious Sakura. Sasuke was as stoic as ever, leaning against the tree with his hands placed in the pockets of the black shorts he wore. He shrugged his shoulders and sighed in his slightly husky voice, "I don't know... You should expect that from him... Kakashi-sensei is almost always late for our training, Sakura."
Sakura nodded her head and then asked with annoyance laced in her toned, "And what about that Naruto?" Sasuke's eyes narrowed as soon as he shut them and he scoffed, "Do I look like his keeper?"
Sakura gulped and stammered, "N-No... I was just wondering where he was... Because he's almost never late..."
The Uchiha let out a sigh and he roamed his fingers through his jet black hair. "It's not my place to worry about him. He can fend for himself. Not that I'd stick up for him anyways..."
-Pant, Pant-
Right on time, too.
"Sakura-chan!" Yelled Naruto as he came running up to the two of them. He caught his breath for a moment and chimed, "Sorry I'm late. So where's Kakashi-Sensei?"
The two other pre-teens glanced at Naruto and they shrugged their shoulders. "We waited here for him... This time he's three hours late... I wonder where he could be..." Sakura explained, tilting her head as she went into deep thought. Naruto smirked and scratched his back-side. Sasuke grimaced at witnessing that and then Naruto exclaimed, "I bet he's with the Crazy Snake Lady! The other day they were holding hands and he had his arm around her and all of that romantic stuff."
Sakura repeated, "Crazy Snake Lady...?" Her mind flickered to Anko Mitarashi. A scornful look lightened up in the features of her fair-toned face and she grumbled, "Oh... That Crazy Snake Lady..." She recalled her "Therapy" session and the nasty lolli-pops... And when she suggested that she go lesbian for a day... Sakura shuddered at the memory and sighed, "Well, let's just go looking for them, then. It does beat staying here and waiting..."
*The Four Man Team*
(Consists of Anko Mitarashi, Kakashi Hatake, Iruka Umino and Might Guy)
*The Orphanage*
"Ugh! What's that putrid odor? It stinks!" Complained Anko, as she covered her nose. Iruka rolled his dark brown eyes in annoyance. "You're complaining already?" He whined as they made their way to the gates leading into the old and abandoned building. Anko shrugged her shoulders, ignoring Iruka.
"Anko!" Guy exclaimed, jumping up and down. (His warm-ups) "That's the smell of ambiance!" He chimed, giving her a 'Thumbs Up'. "A real man smells that way!" He added in, getting ahead of the group.
"Well, Iruka smells like Baby Powder... We all know he's not a man." She teased, catching up to Guy, leaving behind a pissed off Iruka and an aloof Kakashi. "Say, Kakashi? How in the world do you deal with Anko...?" Asked Iruka hoping to gain some knowledge from a man who actually went on a date with her... In which he hoped to do.
Kakashi thought for a moment and then replied, "What do you mean?"
"The way... Her attitude, her overall attitude?"
Kakashi smirked and retorted, "I don't deal with anything. I happen to find it sexy. And a turn-on."
With those words, Kakashi sprinted forward to catch up with Guy and Anko leaving behind a stunned Iruka.
He finds her attitude... Sexy...? Note to self: Tell Anko her attitude is sexy. He thought.
As they four of them finally reached the abandoned Orphanage, the stench became stronger. Anko literally felt the need to vomit and she clutched her stomach. "Guy... That smell of ambiance... Is the smell of death and decay... What the fuck happened here?" She questioned, getting a look around.
"Alright, Kakashi, you take the left and Iruka you take the right... Guy, scan the roof and the back and I'll handle the front." Commanded the violet haired woman.
Now's my chance... Iruka chanted in his mind. He stepped up to Anko that was examining the front entrance of the building that apperntly was torn down. She covered her nose with the sleeve of her over-coat, getting a good look around.
"Hey... Anko? I find it so sexy for a woman of your stature to... Make commands..." He whispered in a husky voice. Anko's eyebrows winked up and she turned around, looking at Iruka with disbelief written all over the features of her face.
Anko's expression:
(e_e)
*changes to*
(T_T)
"Iruka, do your fucking job and stop eating sugared cereal for breakfast." She simply scolded, continuing her work.
The tanned young man, slumped over and sprinted to the right side of the building, examing around.
*Kakashi*
As he dashed over to the left, he pulled his mask down just to reveal his always activated Sharingan, checking for anyone who was still at the scene other than his other three team mates. When nothing came clear, he then scanned the area for any trace of evidence. Hair strands, finger prints and all of those things. "All clear!" He shouted, loud enough for Anko to hear.
*Iruka*
Iruka made his way to the left side of the building, highly alert. The stench however became more stronger and more foul. He came across a trail of blood. Fresh at that. "Blood, guys! Fresh blood!" He shouted. Anko and Kakashi quickly dashed to where Iruka's search began and stopped at the trail of blood. They slowly and cautiously followed the trail... They came around the corner just to find a small pile of corpses.
One was mangled, the other bloody and one clean, flawless. However, there was heavy panting heard. Anko circled around the corner just to see a man, bleeding heavily, holding a wound on the side of his neck. His pale green eyes stared up at Anko and he began to mumbled, "Oro- - - Oro- - -"
Anko rushed over to him and yelled, "Iruka! Send in the word for a medical team! Quickly!"
"Right!" She could hear him say as he poofed away. Kakashi circled around the dead bodies and looked down at what he saw.
"Oro- - - Oro - - -"
"Take a deep breath, calm down." Anko began to chant to the man. His hand reached out for hers but Kakashi stepped in front of her, halting him from doing so.
"Orokana!" The man yelled. At that moment, he literally ripped open his shirt just to reveal paper-bombs all over his body. Kakashi's eyes widened and he quickly picked Anko up "bridal style", leaping into the air as the man's body blew up and combusted.
"Holy shit!" Anko exclaimed, looking down at the flames that gathered and started to burn. Kakashi leaped on the building, next to Guy and placed Anko down on her feet. "What was that?" Guy asked, highly alert.
Anko shook her head 'no' and sighed, "Most of our evidence... Gone. Those bodies are probably charred now..." She placed her hands on her hips, just as Iruka returned with the Medical Ninja.
"We arrived and - - -" His chocolate brown eyes looked down at the wall of flames, glancing back up to a grim looking Anko and a highly alert Guy. "What happened here?" One of the Medical nins asked, as his team worked to extinguish the flames.
"It was a trap." Kakashi articulated. "Whoever was here or whoever was causing all of this trouble... Didn't want us to find those bodies..." He concluded, scratching his head full of silver hair. Anko's eyes widened and she clutched her stomach. "Fuck..." She whispered. Her cramps were returning.
"Miss? Is everything okay?" Asked the medical ninjas. She pinched her temples and snapped in an annoyed tone, "My fucking cramps are back. Do I look okay?"
Here we go... Iruka said to himself.
"W... Well Miss, I could distribute some pain killers to you to slightly ease the pain... What kind of cramps are they? Leg cramps? Muscle cramps? Menstrual cramps?" The medical nin asked.
Anko rolled her light brown eyes and sighed, "I'm a fucking woman. What do women expirence every month?"
The man blushed in slight embarrassment and nodded, reaching in his holster in search of the pain-killer pills.
"Wait... You're on your menstural time?" Questioned a curious Kakashi. Anko blushed and nodded her head, staring at the ground.
"Aw, that's too bad... Now I can't make a move on you..." He sighed.
"Damn it, Kakashi! I don't want to hear anymore of your fucking crude and vulgar but amazingly sexy humor anymore while we're on this mission! Got that?" Anko warned, clenching her fists. Kakashi nodded his head with a smug smirk and chimed, "It's great to hear that you think my sense of humor is sexy... I happen to think your attitude is sexy..."
The violet haired woman blushed madly and beamed a stunning crooked smile, "Really?... That's... That's some hot shit..."
Kakashi smirked and slightly blushed, thanking her.
"I think I'm gonna' be sick..." Slurred a jealous Iruka. He turned his head and whined to Guy, "How come Kakashi's all... Cool?"
Guy smile broadyly and rejoiced, "Kakashi's always been the cool type... So that's why... I take notes!"
Iruka glanced all around and asked, "Where's your note-pad?"
Guy tapped the side of his forehead. "It's all in there."
*Mean-while*
"Leave me alone!" Screamed the woman as she continued to rush through Konoha's lush forests. She ran as fast her feet could take her. She turned her head back, seeing that it or he was still on her trail. It was like she had a big "X" marked right on her forehead. She panted as she ran, trying her best to escape from it's eye, it's trail.
She turned a corner and slowed down to a walk. The woman inhaled and exhaled quickly, looking around for that thing.
She stopped at a large oak tree, leaning against the bark of the tree, and slumping down.
"Maybe it's over... And it's gone..." She whispered to herself, hugging her knees to her chest.
But little did she know... It wasn't over. With the sound of heavy foot-steps and a crushed twig, she forced her exhausted body to get back up and continued to run. Of course it followed. She ran as fast as her peitie body could run, finally tripping over a rock and scraping her knee.
A stabbing pain overwhelmed her on her knee and she was now limping away from the monstrousity.
*Konoha*
"He said, orokana to me... I thought he was going to say Orochimaru... But instead that's what he said." Anko told to Guy, Kakashi, Iruka and the Anbu squad.
Orokana meant "Silly".
"And just what the hell was silly about blowing himself up?" One of the anbu in the Anbu squad inquired as they started their clean-up on the scene.
Anko shrugged her shoulders. "All I fucking know is that this day just keeps on getting more chaotic by the second." She told them.
"I want you to scout through the forest... And see if you can gather some evidence or clues. It's got to be something that'll give us a lead around here, instead of walking in a big fucking loop, over and over." Anko ordered.
"Right." The whole squad said in usion, heading out.
Anko turned to her team-mates and gave them a sort of stressed and tedious look.
"Ever wonder if it's time to stop living here and start living down here?" Iruka suddenly questioned, holding his hand up in the air when he refered to "living here" and then held his hand down, when he refered to "living down here".
"What's got you all open-mind- - -" The female started to say.
"But what if we stop living over here and move over there?" One of the medical ninja questioned, pointing to his left.
"What does that have to do with anythin- - -" Anko was interuppted again.
"Oh shit! My aunty Amiko used to live over there... but then that bitch got evicted..." Another medical ninja who happened to be scrawny and a little weak-looking said in response to the other's term.
"Word? For what?" Guy decided to ask. Heheh, he said "word"
"Mice." The scrawny medical nin retorted.
"Mice? I thought she had rats." The brawny medical ninja alleged.
Anko was about say something but of course, they went on. "No, rats are outside. Mice are inside." The scrawny one replied, crossing his arms over his chest and he straightened his white colored robe that was apart of his medical ninja attire. "Yo, but what if a mouse go outside, does it become a rat? And what if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?" The brawny one asked. Everyone's attention seemed to be on that subject in particular... Well, Kakashi was too busy reading his Icha Icha. The scrawny man kissed his teeth, cackling, "Man I ain't ever seen no mouse outside before.
"That's because it's a rat, fool!" Confirmed the brawny ninja.
"Yo... You might have just made a fact just now. That's some real shit!" Rejoiced the skinny man. Him and the brawny one exchanged satisfied glances and they shook each other's hand.
"Okay, so if you two narcs are done with this shitty conversation, can we please continue on with this fucking mission? I'm am cramping like shit now and I am fucking irritated." Anko snapped, glaring at the ground, as she fidgetted around, slightly slumping over and holding her back.
"Geez, calm down, girl!" The brawny one coaxed. "Yeah man! What chu' wanna' do? Overdose on pain-killers and go 'Bye-Bye' or what? Chill out and wait for the acids and all of that medical shit to settle in. Damn." The scrawny one reprimanded.
Anko narrowed her eyes and fumed, "Acids and Medical Shit? Did you two Bo-Zos actually pass the fucking exams and trials to become a damn medical ninja or what?"
The two men exchanged glances and slurred at the same time, "You're so lucky your boobs are big and you look kawai... Cause' we would be so in your face and you'd be all like Yap, yap, yap! My tum-tum hurts! Shut the fuck up! Blah, blah, blah! "
"Okay! Let's just get on with this mission, shall we?" Kakashi chimed, grabbing the glaring Anko by her hand and tugging her away. "If you are cramping that bad, then I'll happily carry you..." He trailed off, smiling modestly at Anko.
She of course, blushed and mumured, "O-Okay..."
*Mean-while*
"I'm telling you Shikamaru! I saw him! I saw him! The Third Hokage! He told me how to survive this crisis! He also said that Orochimaru was coming back!" Chouji tried to explain to Shikamaru. Ino rolled her eyes and teased, "I bet all that food went to your head. There's no way that the Third Hokage would come to you in your sleep and tell you all of that!"
Shikamaru's mind:
What a drag... This is also so troublesome. What's next? Someone starts a riot?
"Asuma-Sensei! You believe me right?" Chouji turned to his sensei, Asuma.
"Well... There's no telling what my old man would do... I'm not saying it's not true... But it could be true. It's a fifty, fifty chance..." Asuma told them.
"Well... I do not believe in Paranormal things. This day has been troublesome, indeed." Shikamaru sighed.
"Don't you say anything else other than 'This is troublesome' or 'How troublesome'?" Ino questioned, in an annoyed and slightly bored tone. Shikamaru glanced at her with a dull expression and shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows." He simply said.
"And Chouji! Do you even remember what he said to you?" Ino questioned, more like demanded.
He thought for a moment, pacing around.
"Which is my point." She sassed.
"Hey! Asuma-Sensei! Have you seen Kakashi-Sensei?" Naruto yelled as he, Sasuke and Sakura came sprinting towards where they hung out at which was near the "Pork Grill" Resturant. Asuma thought for a second. "Kakashi, you say? He hasn't told you all yet? He got a S-Rank Mission."
"S-Rank mission?" They all said at the same time. Asuma nodded his head. "With all of this chaos and this big mystery going around... Lady Tsunaded needed to send some of her best, so she sent Kakashi, Anko, Iruka and Guy." He explained.
"So when will they be back?" Sasuke asked in a rather cold tone. He was pissed... He was supposed to learn how to control his chakra when he uses 'Chidori'.
"Hi, Sasuke-kun!~" Ino chirped, waving to the pissed, yet stoic Uchiha. His onyx colored eyes flickered to the blonde for not even a second and then back to Asuma.
"Who know's when they'll be back. They have quite a lot to do and figure out." The older man remarked.
Sasuke nodded and turned his back from everyone. "I'm going off on my own to train." He announced, poofing away.
Chouji suddenly gasped and shouted, "I remember what he told me!"
"Well, spill it!" Ino said, crossing her arms over her chest, waiting for his remark.
"He said, if I am listening, then he'll tell the the rules to surviving this situation. He said, rule number one was to be quick. And rule number two was not to fall down. And then he said for rule number three, whatever I do, never look back. And after that, he told me to wish him luck... Then that's when I woke up for my midnight snack." Chouji mused, scratching his head.
*Silence*
"So what do you all think?" Chouji asked to his two team-mates and to his Sensei.
Shikamaru's Expression:
(-.-)
Ino's Expression:
(._.)
Asuma's Expression:
(?_?)
*Anko and Her Team*
"Damn." She mouthed, glancing at the newest dead body that was discovered by the team of Anbu.
The woman looked to be in her mid twenties. She was face down, on the soils of the forest.
After examining her body, Anko sighed.
"There are no wounds except for on her feet and her knees. But, on her neck, she happens to have a bite mark of some sort." She told to her anxious team. She then ordered two of the anbu to report back to Lady Tsunade and they headed out to the next crime scene which was an alley way.
Don't tell me... Orochimaru is behind all of this... But... He can't be the culprit. The Third Hokage sealed his arms, hands and finger tips away, thus enabling him not being able to preform any jutsu. I'd expect him to be going to the extreme to find a way to heal his arms... Not causing mayham in Konoha... But still... Anko's thoughts lingered in her head as she tried to decipher what was going down.
-Alley Way-
"Gosh, it stinks here." Anko grumbled, taking extra precautions as to what she stepped on in the Alley way.
"What do you expect? This is a alley. With dumpsters and garbage. Possibly rats." Iruka retorted. Anko rolled her eyes and slurred, "Gee, thanks for the heads up, Buck-o." The two of them exchanged quick glares before getting back on track.
Kakashi did his thing, which was scaning the place with his Sharigan, while Guy kept a look-out.
"Hey, Iruka? Since I call the shots for this mission... I'm ordering you to check out and examine that dumpster over there, thick and thin."
Iruka looked behind himself, to the side and then to his left. He even looked up. He pointed to himself and asked, "Who me? Iruka Umino? I mean because there are many men named Iruka in this world. Heheh..." He laughed nervously. The violet haired women plastered a smug grin on her face and nodded her head, pointing to the dumpster.
"Hahaha... Yeah... Funny joke..." Iruka smirked, rubbing the lump on his head.
Anko kept her finger pointed to the green dumpster that had a bit of residue on it and had that usual garbage stench. With a loud and heavy sigh, Iruka slowly walked over to the dumpster and lifted up one of the huge plastic flaps. He poked his head inside, to get a look at the contents of the big garbage can. His face turned the color green.
"Oh gawd... It smells like somebody died in there!" He managed to get out, gasping for his oxygen supply.
"Oh stop over exaggerating! I'm sure it's not that bad." Guy chirped. He walked over to the garbage can, taking a long and meaningful whiff of the stench. All of a sudden, his eyes widened and he clutched his stomach, ducking his head into the dumpster.
-Bleh!-
"Okay... We so did not just need to witness Guy throwing up." Anko face-palmed.
The dumpster soon rocked and the other huge flap opened. Out popped some man with baggy and ripped clothes on. His clothes were now decorated with Guy's vomit.
He looked down at the shirt he wore and removed a chunk of who-know's-what from his long beard, scornfully fuming, "Mother-fucker!"
"Oops.." Was all Guy said. He turned to face Anko and Iruka. They exchanged glances. The violet haired woman smirked and took out a scroll, preforming some hand signs. With a poof of smoke, on the scroll rested her famous frozen bagged loaf of bread.
"Hey, dude in the trash. I'm gonna' need to you look up at me. The gorgeous woman with nice breasts and violet hair. This is what happens when you flunk your ninja academy. You end up living in a dumpster. So now, allow me to introduce you to SURPRISE NINJA!"
-THUD-
K.O!
Iruka winced as he heard the rather loud thud. It brough back memories... Painful, painful memories. That "attack" he received in front of Udon and Kakashi the other night brought back a chain of memeories, enabling him to remember who he got into Anko's apartment in the first place... He spied on her and Kakashi's date and now he had two fucking huge lumps. On the head... And one on the cheek. Atleast the one on his cheek was beginning to go down and shrink... It just looked like a huge wart now.
"Alright, let's leave from here... It's completely obvious that there's no evidence here..." Anko concluded, holding the loaf of bread over her shoulder like a sack. "Wait a minute, Anko." Kakashi blurted out. He used his sharingan eye to continue scanning. He stepped over to the back of the dumpster, picking up a strand of silkiy looking hair. "That can be anyone's hair, Kakashi!" Guy noted. Despite that being true, Anko still took out a plastic bag and placed it in as evidence.
"Iruka, deliever this to the Anbu squad and have them run a test on it. Then, let's all meet at that Take-Out eatery around the corner. Kay'?" She instructed, handing the plastic bag to the dark-haired man.
"Alright." He said, poofing away.
"After such a hard day of work, that's not finished yet, we could atleast get some food in are stomachs." Anko explained, sauntering out of the alley with Kakashi and Guy trailing behind.
-Take-out Eatery-
(Basically japanese food; sushi, senbei, etc)
The trio sat at a big booth. Kakashi and Anko sitting next to each other and Guy on the other side. They got a small break, for relaxation time. Guy took out a mirror, examining himself while Kakashi started to read his Icha Icha while Anko leaned back into the slightly comfy cushions of the booth's chair. She let out a sigh, closing her eyes, getting lost in her sub-conscious.
"Hey, guys? Want to hear an ironic pun or joke? Whatever you call those things?" Guy questioned, leaning his elbow on the wooden table. Kakashi nodded his head without looking up from his book. Anko shrugged her shoulders, half paying attention.
Guy started to snicker and then joked, "Okay, so the Anbu squad... They find a man in the streets, literally eating a clown. So... The man holds up the clown's arm and asks, Does this taste funny to you? Get it?" Guy started to laugh at his own corny pun. Anko and Kakashi gazed into each other's eyes and Anko slurred, "Guy?"
"Yes, Anko?"
"Shut the fuck up. That was NOT funny."
"Okay, Anko..."
*Silence*
"Hey, Kakashi, what chapter are you on in Icha Icha?" Anko questioned, leaning her head on Kakashi's shoulder. "I'm on chapter eight... It's a classic 'Have sex on a table' scene. It's pretty good, too..." He trailed off, flipping the page.
Guy's expression:
(~_~)
"That is SO unyouthful. How can you two read that stuff?"
The two of them smirked and chimed at the same time, "It's hot."
"Excuse me, you all have been here for about ten minutes. Are you going to order something? This isn't a club, you know." A waiteress finally snapped, taking out a note-pad and pencil.
"PMS-ing, too?" The violet haired woman asked. The waiteress exhaled heavily and nodded her head.
"I hear ya', my ninja."
"Actually, ma'am... I'm not a ninja. I'm a innocent bystander..." The waiteress remarked.
"Yeah, whatever." Slurred Anko.
"Uh, I'll take the special for today. Minced sushi, wonton soup and a side of vanilla-flavored dango. Bring me some hot green tea at that. Hold the fucking milk, because it doesn't taste good to me... You know what? Just bring me the hot tea, some sugar and creme. Not milk, creme." She said. The waitress rolled her eyes, writing down all that Anko said.
"I'll have the corn soup and some chilled peach tea." Guy ordered.
"Eh, some steamed rice and barley for me... Add a sushi platter to that and a cup of sake." Kakashi told to her.
"Oh, wait! Iruka... Uh, just give him the kid's meal or whatever the fuck you have for them." Sighed Anko, waving the girl off.
She left into the kitchen, handing the chef their order and came back with a small basket in her hands. She placed it on their table and left, saying, "I'll be back with your drinks in a second."
Inside of the basket was fortune cookies. Anko, Kakashi and Guy picked them up and cracked the cookies open, reading them outloud.
"My fortune says: The best year-round temperature is a warm heart and a cool head." The Copy Ninja recited.
Anko smirked at her fortune and read outloud, "Strike iron while hot." Guy opened his fortune cookie and grimaced at his fortune. "This must be some kind of joke!" He yelled outloud. Other customers in the small resturant glanced at the man as if he was crazy. "It can't be that bad..." Kakashi tried to convince him.
"Food is sex." Guy shouted, throwing the small piece of paper with printed words on the table. "Wow... Can't believe that's an actual fortune..." Anko exclaimed, bursting out with laughter. Guy grumbled, pouting and crossing his arms over his chest. Soon enough, the waitress returned with a tray carrying their drinks. She set down the cup of sake in front of Kakashi, the iced peach tea in front of Guy and placed the hot green tea in front of Anko, along with the sugar and sweetner creme. Then she placed a small plastic cup on the table, with a straw sticking out of it. "There are your drinks, and the kid's meal drink: A small cup of lemonade." The waitress announced.
Good too. Iruka likes lemonade! Mitarashi thought, smirking a bit.
Finally Iruka walked into the eatery, along with two of the anbu. Iruka sat in the space left for him while the Anbu pulled up chairs, sitting at the end of the table. "The results for the hair-strand won't come until later." He announced, cupping his cheek; not the one with the small lump that resembled a huge wart. "Okay... And what are these narcs doing here?" She questioned, pointing at the two anbu. They exchanged glances and sighed, "As an order from Lady Tsunade, we were sent for back-up." One of them said. "By the way, I'm Kohaku." The smallest one told them. "And that's Shiro."
Let's hope they aren't like those two idiots from the Medical field... Anko thought.
As soon as their food arrived, they all began chowing down. Iruka glances at the small meal that was laid out before him.
A small bowl of steamed rice, one dango stick and a cup of noodles. Not to mention the cup of lemonade. He looked at the buffet that Anko and Kakashi feasted on and then glanced at Guy who was glaring at his food. The two anbu who accompanied the four of them decided just to have drinks instead of food.
Well... Let me atleast open my fortune cookie... He thought, grabbing for one and cracking it open.
"It could be better, but it's good enough". Which was so true. It could be worse. He could have nothing to eat... So he decided to cope with the kid's meal he had... Poor Iruka.
"Hey... You know what I'm thinking? Zombies or some shit to that effect is behind all of this..." The smallest out of the two anbu remarked, taking a sip from his hot, black tea.
Here we fucking go AGAIN. Anko thought.
"Yo, don't joke about zombies, that shit there, that's real." The other one retorted. Kohaku nodded his head and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear that sat at their booth, "You know Gozen off of 20th street? She told me she heard a zombie going through her trash the other night. The next morning... She turned up missing."
"Ouch..." Kakashi winced, as he listened in upon the coversation.
Shiro's expression twisted up into confusion and disbelief. "What? Okay, back up! How the hell do you turn up missing?" He questioned.
Kohaku rolled his eyes and sighed, "Cause', nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't dead."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you're telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time?" Assumed Shiro.
"No man, you can't appear and disappear at the same time! The bitch ain't Minato Namekaze." Kohaku explained with annoyance laced in his sort of squeaky tone. (He refered to Minato's teleportation jutsu)
"Ugh, guys?" Anko and Iruka said at the same time.
"Shh!" Shiro "shushed" the two of them. "No, no, no. But you can be gone from one place and show up somewhere else in time. So when you turn up, you never missing and when you missing, you never turn up." He espied, nodding his head to his conclusion.
*Silence*
Everyone was silent.
"Unless, ... you a zombie."
At that moment, Anko slapped her forehead and Kohaku exclaimed, "Damn! That's some applausable shit right there. You should blog about that."
"I'm put that on 'NinjaSpace'." Shiro smirked. "You do that!" Kohaku chirped, giving him a 'Thumbs Up'.
"Alright, are you two done or what?" Anko snapped, taking a sip from her hot tea. The two anbu exchanged glances and smirked, "Yeah... But for real though... What if zombies was behind all of this? I mean, they bite right? And they- - -"
"I highly think there is a responable explantion for what has been going on. However, dead people who are walking and who have a need and hunger for human flesh is not the answer. It doesn't connect to the 'Ghost' sightings of the Third Hokage and to the murders. And why exactly would a zombie try to "rape" a victim rather than eat? Come on guys, be rational." Iruka articulated, sipping up the last bit of his lemonade.
The sounds of a straw sucking up air was heard and the young man shook his cup. "Damn it! I swear they always put too much ice in these things!" He complained. "And who the hell ordered me a kid's meal in the first place?" He complained once more, glaring daggers at Anko. She smirked deviously and shrugged her shoulders, "I dunno'. Ask Kakashi or Guy... Wasn't me..."
The violet haired woman stood up from her seat and sighed heavily. "Anyways, It's 4:00 p.m, I gotta get going. I have to interrogate... I mean give therapy to the so called victim and then to other people. Carry out with the mission and when you all give the status report to Lady Tsunade, I want to hear what else went down as well, Kay'!"
With that, Anko left.
-Her Apartment-
Anko stuck her key in the lock and with a few twists and turns, her door was opened. She walked into her apartment, kicked off her sandals and hung her over coat on the wooden hook beside her door.
She let a calm and steady sigh escape her lips before walking into the kitchen. Of course, she needed a drink. The female grabbed an ice-cold bottle of sake from her refridgorator and took down a glass cup from her cabnits. After putting a couple of ice-cubes into the glass, she poured the tangy and strong liquior into the cup; filling it all the way to the top.
-Knock, Knock-
Just in time, too... She thought, taking a sip from her drink. Anko opened the door just to reveal a timid looking girl. She looked to be in her teenage years, had jet black hair and turquiose colored eyes. "You must be the victim." Anko slurred, looking her up and down. The teen nodded her head once and looked around. She snapped her head to the left and snapped her head to the right.
She was so fucking paraoid; It wasn't even funny. "Come in. I don't bite... Much..." Anko tried to joke... But failed horribly, scaring the petrified girl even more.
"My... Name i-is Rikku..." She whispered taking a seat on the love-seat sofa. The violet haired woman let out a sigh and nodded her head. "Yeah, I can see that." Anko took a long sip from her sake and offered, "Want some? I could make you a cup, ya' know?"
Rikku shook her head 'no' over and over. "Fine... Be that way... You won't see me offering or trying to have hospitality anymore..." Mumbled Mitarashi.
"So... Tell me exactly what happened." She ordered, leaning on the arm of the couch.
"W-Well... For starters... He had a long tongue..." Rikku began.
Long tongue... Something that Orochimaru has... Anko noted to herself.
"And... He had the most weirdest and kind of hissy voice ever, but he had scaley skin and was like a half man/half serpent... It was really creepy... Plus it was like he was a stalker! The way he moved and everything!" She exclaimed.
Rikku's expression:
(O_O)
Anko:
(-x-)
Yeah, that's Orochimaru alright... But scaley skin? Probably one of his prototype forms or something... She thought.
"So, uh, what exactly did he want with you, girlie?" Anko questioned, examining her clear-polished finger nails. Rikku shrugged her shoulders and sighed heavily.
"I heard that it's been extracting chakra from many people... And that, that ghost thing is warning people through their sleep..." She murmured, fiddling with her thumbs.
Extracting chakra, eh?...
"So my accusations are mostly correct... And he's starting up mayham here in Konoha just by doing so..." Mitarashi said outloud.
"Well, thanks for the information, you were a big help. See ya'... Wouldn't wanna' be ya..." Anko chimed, showing Rikku to the door.
She whispered the last part to herself. The girl's eyes widened in stark and utter horror. "Y-You can't just leave me out there! All ALONE!" She whimpered, grabbing on to Anko's right arm. She rolled her light brown eyes and sighed, "Look, there's nothing to be afraid of, girlie! So I'll see you later and- - -"
"No! I'm staying here!" She shouted, more like commanded. "What? Staying here? Girl, you are out of your mind? What food are you gonna eat? And where the hell are you gonna' sleep? Not here! Not on my couch! And definately NOT on my sofa!" Anko snapped.
Rikku cried, "But!... He could be here, right now! He could knock on the door, right now!"
All of a sudden, there was a kind on slow and eerie knock on Mitarashi's wooden door. Both of their eyes widened, "Uh... Okay, who the fuck did you lead over to here?" Anko whispered in a hushed tone. Rikku panicked for a second, shrugging her shoulders. Mitarashi, cautiously reached for the door and slowly turned the knob to open it.
"Anko! Open up the damn door... Not slowly!" Slurred a drunken voice. She thought for a second and then swung the door open just to see Genma...
"Damn Genma! You scared the shit out of me and the girlie!" The violet haired woman fumed, clenching her fists. Genma plastered a toothy grin on his face and slurred, "Haha! You shitted on yourself!..." The smell of liqour rushed up Anko's nostril and she grimaced.
Her light brown eyes bored holes into Genma's dark brown eyes. "Genma... Are you drunk?" She asked, placing her hands on her curvy hips. Genma smirked and walked in her apartment, tossing an empty bottle of some sort into her waste-basket. Of course the bottle was an empty bottle of vodka.
"Woah, woah, woah. WHAT are YOU doing!" Anko shouted at the man who took a seat on her love-seat sofa. He looked at the petrified Rikku and whispered in her ears, "Hi, I'm Clutch... Heheh.." Rikku gulped and turned her head from his gaze.
Genma turned his head to Anko and sighed that came out like a slur, "I... I have some secrets about. That, That man who goes around town." He paused her a second and clicked his tongue, "He, the one who, who is scarin' people around."
Anko face-palmed and stared at the drunk Genma who couldn't even get his words out straight. "He tried... To rape me. I said, You's not finna' put that thang' in my butt. No sireee!" Genma exclaimed, nodding his head. He popped his lips when saying the word "rape".
"Okay, dude... You really need to get the fuck out of here." Anko snapped. "And who is he? And why are you drunk? And I KNOW someone who NEVER try to rape you, so you can cut that mess out. Your story doesn't make since at all and I can't hardly understand a word that you are saying."
Genma waved her off and chimed, "Hey, Anko... Guess what?"
"What Genma? What?"
"Rack emmmmmmm', Rack emmmmm' Rack emmmmm', Rack emmmmmm' up!" He went on and even got in Rikku's face slurring, "Rack em' up."
"Man, get the hell out of here!" Anko yelled, pointing to her door. Genma stopped and slurred once more, "Fine...". He stood up, walking slowly towards the door. He reached for something and picked it up without her seeing. Mitarashi slammed the door in his face and was about to sit back down but:
-Knock, Knock, Knock-
She rolled her eyes and swung the door open just to reveal Genma with sun-glasses on his face. He made his voice squeaky and sighed, "S'cuse me ma'am, I'm a... Victim to the, the thing goin' on, so- - -"
"Genma, I know it's you." Anko grimaced, crossing her arms over her chest.
He gave her a "pssh" and scoffed, "It's not me... My, my name, ish Percy Uchiha. The long lost Uchiha girllllll~"
Anko's expression:
(-_-)
-SLAM-
"All you did was put on some sun-glasses. I wasn't born yesterday." She shouted.
"How do I know that?" He slurred.
To Be Continued...
I was planning on adding more, But, I know this was VERY long.
-Phew!-
How was this? Was it funny at all? I tried. I don't think you can make a mystery funny? But hay', I tried haha! What did you all think of this chappie? I worked hard on it! And I worked on this for almost 2 days! One day and a half! Starting from about 12:00 p.m all the way to 7:00 p.m and then when I couldn't sleep from boredom, 1:00am to almost 4:00am. Counting the time today and yesterday, that equals...
*gets out calculator*
Some heavy amount of time!
Now, I would like to thank you for reading! Please review, and tell me what you think! Honest opinions, please! Was this corny as fuck? Boring? Funny? You had no idea what the hell was going on? Anything. I'd like to improve my writing, so please be honest!
Sorry for the time it took for this! I was planning on updating YESTERDAY, but, by the time it was 10:00pm, I still wasn't finished. So it was delayed!
Now for references!
The inspirations:
Turban Man: From the movie Next Friday(Love it man), Micheal Blackson plays an Angry African mad because a cd he "brought" from Pinky's Record Store was whack and he couldn't get jiggy with the music. He oh, so decided to return it without a cover and with some scratches on it and a huge chunk missing out of the cd haha! There is a scene of it on Youtube! Search up, "Angry African Next Friday" The duration should be over a minute long.
Renji Hyuuga's personality: The movie Bride's Maids. It was released in 2011 or 2012 can't remember, yeah most likely 2012, and I forgot the chick's name but she was set up on a blind-date by her friend Rebecca and the guy had a little kid. His kid was weird as fuck and talked just like Renji. His first sentence: ... Are you... Going to make a baby with my daddy?
Next one: ... My mommy.. Is going to kill you...
Another one:... Grandma died right where you are sitting... (Which was on a couch)
Then he ate the lady's birth control haha. Over 7 pills!
Surprise Ninja: Loiter Squad, mu ninja! Tyler gets Taco while they are at a party when Taco is dancing. (Dunn know what kind of dancing he was doing...)
Anymore you all want to know? I forgot the rest! Haha... So like me!
Now for Part 2: The mystery finally gets contained and a twist! Is it actually Oro-kun doing all of this? Is it? Or is it? (Haha!) Stay tooned! And don't worry, Anko will not be on that time -Shudders- I may be a teenage girl... And I may have the same thing... Cuz' I'm a female... But it is VERY disturbing. (O.O)
And also, I may or may not do something like this again... Hell, we don't know. Unless you want it!, I can't decide if this was good or not... But after Part 2, it'll be back to normal, with Anko and her therapy! But the next chapter contains much more better humor and parody! Haha!
Stay tooned!
Kumi-Chan/Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan
(OMG, 28 PAGES ON MICROSOFT WORD!)