[Kyo's Room]
Tohru: So what's up?
Kyo: (sighs) Uh…nothing. I just wanted to spend some time with you is all.
Tohru: Hey, I just thought about something…
Kyo: What?
Tohru: I didn't need that glove to hold your hand. Don't you remember that time you came to get me from my grandfather's house? Or the time-
Kyo: (fake coughs) I don't know what you're talking about.
Tohru: Momiji grabs my hand all the time!
Kyo: Yeah, but Momiji's not in his right mind so he doesn't count!
Tohru: But I thought the curse was based on gender; not mind state.
Kyo: Stop thinkin' about it!
Tohru: Kyo…do you…not want to touch me?
Kyo: …N-no! That's not it! I'm not the one who said we couldn't hold hands! You were! I just went along with it!
Tohru: But why would you do that?
Kyo: Cause. (looks down) When I hold your hand…it makes me happy. And I want to…do something I know I can't do. That's why, okay?
Tohru: What do you mean, "something"? Ohhh…Well, maybe-… (blushes) Maybe if you hold your body in the air above me and thrust it into me it won't make you-
Kyo: Wha-what the hell are you talkin' about?!
Tohru: Weren't you talking about sex?
Kyo: Tohru!
Shigure: (standing at the door he laughs)
Kyo: Why are you here?! And what's so funny?!
Shigure: I was just making sure you two lovebirds were alright.
Tohru: Yeah, we're fine. I was just wondering why Kyo didn't want to hold my hand and it turned out he wants to, but when he does he gets happy and it makes him want to do something else that I'm not quite sure of yet. I thought it was S-E-X, but after seeing his reaction-I don't know. It could be-
Shigure: Let me stop you there, Tohru. It seems me and Kyo need to have a little talk.
Kyo: What?
Shigure: That happy feeling you get when Tohru takes your hand… It's called being horny! So as I've been saying you're upset, because you want to get freaky with Tohru! Just accept it already!
Kyo: You stinkin' perv! You probably wish so you could listen in or something!
Shigure: Now, why would I do that? I imagine Tohru is clean and you-of course you are too, so why would I want to listen to you have sex? Two virgins isn't much fun if you ask me.
Kyo: Shut up! Get out and I mean the house!
Shigure: (chuckles) Oh, before I go. You have a visitor, Tohru. She should be up here any second. (walks away)
Tohru: Who could that be? Maybe Uo or Hana…or I know, I just spoke with Kagura not too long ago!
Kyo: Ah, I hope not! I'd rather the Yankee come.
Tohru: Could it be my aunt or cousin-
Kyo: Yeah right. Like they'd come see you.
Tohru: I guess I'll find out in a little while. Anyway, so since we can hold hands… (grabs Kyo's hand)
Kyo: Hey! (blushes)
Shigure's Voice: YOU CAN KISS TOO! JUST DON'T TRY TO MAKE A BABY!
Kyo: HEY, SHUT UP! STAY OUTTA THIS! I-
Tohru: You don't have to kiss me if you don't want to Kyo. I completely understand.
Kyo: Uh, no, I-uh… (leans in to kiss Tohru when…)
Kisa: Sissy! (runs into the room and grabs Tohru's arm)
Tohru: Oh, Kisa! What a surprise! It's nice to see you!
Kisa: (smiles then looks at Kyo's glare) …
Kyo: What? You talk now, right? So what do you gotta say?
Kisa: Are you…trying to get freaky with sissy?
Kyo: WHAT!? Shigure! Come here so I can kick your ass!
(Shigure's laughter echoes throughout the house…)
Tohru: Oh no no no, Kisa! See, me and Kyo were just talking! (nervous giggle)
Kisa: …Okay. Let's go, sissy. I want to go for a walk.
Tohru: Oh, well, alright… Kyo, I-
Kyo: Just go. (sighs) We'll talk later.
Tohru: Okay! Thank you! Alright, Kisa, let's go!
[Outside of Shigure's House]
Yuki: Is it really safe to talk about this right here and now?
Kagura: When we're discussing my Kyo it doesn't matter the time or place!
Yuki: Right…
Hatori: What are you two doing?
(Hatori stands in front of Yuki and Kagura…)
Yuki: Hatori…
Kagura: We're discussing how to break up Tohru and-
Yuki: Shh!
Kagura: Oh, right! I mean, we're just talking.
Hatori: (shakes his head) Don't make too much trouble. By the way, Yuki…I thought you were better than this. (walks inside)
Yuki: (gasps) …
Kagura: What are you saying about me?! Anyway…let's go to my place. I have to pick something up. There's no doubt I'll win Kyo over with it! I won't lose to Tohru!
Tohru: Lose to me at what?
(Kagura and Yuki turn to see Tohru and Kisa hand-in-hand at the door…)
Kagura: Rival! (grabs Yuki's hand and runs) We'll be back! And then Kyo will be mine!
Yuki: Wait!
Tohru: Umm…
(Shigure's scream is heard from inside the house…Hatori walks out)
Hatori: Nothing, but a big baby. Are you ready to go, Kisa?
Kisa: I wanted to walk with sissy!
Hatori: You'll be coming back with me now.
Kisa: But…
Tohru: Maybe she could stay a little while. I think Hatsuharu's around. He can bring her back home when she's ready to go.
Hatori: …Fine then.
Tohru: Is Shigure sick?
Hatori: It was a simple flu shot so he could avoid becoming sick. I hear it's going to be raining a lot these next few days. Stay dry during that time.
Tohru: Okay, thanks! Wait…I was wondering if maybe…you knew of a way to lift the zodiac curse. Or maybe Akito knows?
Hatori: …No. I don't think Akito would know either.
Tohru: I want to ask anyway.
Hatori: That isn't wise. Please don't.
Tohru: But I-
Hatori: I have to go now. Farewell. (walks away)
Tohru: …I wonder why-
Kisa: (tugs at Tohru's shirt) Sissy?
Tohru: Oh, sorry! Let's walk before the rain starts.
Kisa: Okay!
[The rooftop]
Kyo: (watches Tohru walk with Kisa) …Where the hell is Yuki? Man, I can't talk to Tohru, I can't beat that sissy rat boy's face in…what am I supposed to do?
Shigure: Sulking again? …Well, look, I forgot something at the main house. I'll be back as soon as I can, alright?
Kyo: Sure…
Shigure: Will you be alright here by yourself? Do I need to lock the doors when I leave? My number is on the fridge if you get scared.
Kyo: How old do you think I am?!
Shigure: Are you sure you'll be fine here alone though? Really?
Kyo: Yeah…I'm used to this…
Shigure: (sighs) Alright then.
[Nighttime…]
(Kyo is sleeping on the roof…A burglar enters the house and after several seconds there is a large crash that wakes Kyo up-)
Kyo: (slight gasp) What the hell was that? Is Shigure back? (enters the house) Hey! Shigure! Rat boy! Tohru! Is anyone here?
(Faint coughing…)
Kyo: Who's in here?!
(A man in all black runs into Tohru's room and jumps out the window)
Kyo: HEY! You're not gettin' off that easy! (runs to the window and hears something crack; looks down to see a broken picture frame of Tohru's mom) Wha-?! Oh no! (falls to his knees) Tohru's gonna-…She really will hate me now… Dammit! (slams a fist on the floor making a crack)
Uo's Voice: Hey, Orange Top! Is that you I hear up there?!
Kyo: Huh?
(Kyo lets Uo inside and they sit at a table together…)
Uo: Oh, man, Tohru's gonna be heartbroken. But it really isn't your fault, you know. I doubt she'll blame you or anything.
Kyo: But it is my fault. I should've been more alert.
Uo: Come on, don't act like that. I promise you you're over-reacting. You know Tohru. She called me and told me you guys were dating the other day and she sounded so excited. I'm sure she doesn't want your relationship to change because you broke a picture.
Kyo: But it was close to her heart. The last thing she has left of her mother.
Uo: True. Still. Relax. Everything will be fine. Just be honest with her and tell her what happened when she gets back. I know! Let's play a game to lift your spirits! What game am I way better than you at? Oh, that's right. All of 'em! (laughs)
Kyo: What the-!? You are not!
(As the time passes Uo becomes sleepy and falls onto Kyo, who is nodding off himself, making him change; she holds him close to her chest as she sleeps…)
Tohru: Kisa sure kept me out late. It's a good thing we ran into Hatsuharu and he got her to go home. I hope no one is worried about me. (opens the door to see Uo cuddled up with Kyo) …Uh…What…Kyo? Uo? What-…what's going on?
Kyo: (opens his eyes) Ahh! Tohru! It's not what you think!
Uo: What the-?! Damn, Orange Top, you're too loud. (looks at the orange cat in front of her) Where's Orange Top? Hey…Haven't I seen this cat before?
Tohru: What!? N-no, y-y-you haven't! You're mistaken! (picks up Kyo as she forces herself to giggle)
Uo: Tohru, there you are. I was playing a game with Orange Top to lift his spirits and I guess I just fell asleep.
Tohru: Oh…thank goodness-I mean-wait, why would you need to lift his spirits? What's wrong with him?
Uo: It's best if he tells you himself. I'll be going now. Oh, yeah, someone was trying to rob you guys. I kicked his ass for you.
Tohru: Um…Thankyou?
Uo: No problem. See you later. Take care. Tell Orange Top I said to stop bein' a baby. (walks away)
Kyo: Bitch.
Tohru: Kyo!
Kyo: Uh…Tohru…I kind of…well-
Shigure: (sing-song) I'm back! (normal) I hope Kyo didn't do anything stupid and ruin the house AGAIN.
Kyo: Bastard! (jumps out of Tohru's arms and runs upstairs)
Tohru: Wait for me, Kyo!
Shigure: You two sure are up late.
Tohru: Oh, yeah, but we weren't doing anything so don't think that, please! I actually just got back not too long ago. Apparently someone was trying to rob the house while we were gone-
Shigure: What!? No! (runs upstairs) My precious belongings!
Tohru: Huh? What could be so important to send him running like that? (gasps) That reminds me! I've gotta make sure mom is okay!
[Tohru's Room]
Tohru: Mom? Where'd mom go? Mom, are you in here?
Kyo: She's not in here.
Tohru: (turns to see Kyo at the door) Kyo, you changed back quick. What do you mean she's not in here?
Kyo: I-...I chased the robber into your room and he jumped out the window so I was going after him and I stepped on your mother's picture and…I broke it… (shows her the broken picture frame)
Tohru: M-…mom? At least…she's still here. I can see her. And she's still smiling so there's nothing to worry about, right?
Kyo: Are you sad? No, you're angry. It's okay. I understand. I just want you to know I'm sorry.
Tohru: It's okay, Kyo. All I have to do is take the picture out the frame and put it in a new one. But I don't have enough money right now. I get paid next week though. I'm afraid she might get hurt in that time-I mean, no, it's really fine! Don't worry about it, Kyo!
Kyo: You're upset.
Tohru: No, I'm not! Well, at least…I don't blame you, Kyo. I had mom on this nightstand and that means the thief probably knocked her on the floor so it's really their fault. I can't blame you for not having night vison. (smiles) …I'm going to go to bed now if you don't mind.
Kyo: …Okay…Goodnight. (walks out)
Tohru: ... (cries as she tightly hugs the broken frame with her mother's picture inside)
[The Next Morning]
(Yuki walks in followed by Kagura who is wearing a blue dress with her hair styled exactly like Tohru's…)
Yuki: I'm home.
Kagura: I'm here too!
Shigure: Welcome back, Yuki. Hello…Kagura? Um…You should join us for breakfast. Tohru's almost done.
Kagura: I'd love to! I mean, "Um, yes"… (sits down)
Shigure: (stares at Kagura) …Umm…Yuki-
Yuki: (sits down) Don't direct any questions toward me. This was not my idea nor do I support it.
Kagura: Kyo's eating with you, right? Where does he sit?
Shigure: Right where you are now. But-
Kagura: Really?! I'm sitting in Kyo's seat?! That's wonderful!
Kyo: The hell it is! Move! What are you even doing here?!
Kagura: But don't you want me here, Kyo? I just wanted to show you my new look. Don't you like it?
Kyo: You look like Tohru with shorter hair.
Kagura: I can make it longer! (pulls out a wig about the same length as Tohru's hair an styled the same way and puts it on)
Kyo: What the-?! Take that off!
Shigure: If you want to do things like that I only ask that you take it to your room.
Kyo: You know I meant the wig!
Yuki: Where did you even get that?
Kagura: I look just like Tohru. You can't even tell the difference. We look like twins.
Shigure: Hmm…I can tell.
Yuki: Me too.
Kyo: Yeah, so can I.
Shigure: Of course you two can. You've been staring in her eyes since Day 1.
Kyo: I have not!
Yuki: That isn't true!
Shigure: Actually, where have you been, Kyo? I know you were here late yesterday, but this morning you were nowhere to be found.
Kyo: (looks to the side) I had to get away from here. This place is smothering me.
Yuki: Let's talk about people that actually matter in this house. So anyone besides Kyo.
Kyo: You-!
Shigure: Tohru seems rather depressed this morning. She won't say it, of course, but I know something's bothering her.
Yuki: (gives Kyo an offensive stare) What kind of boyfriend are you? You leave your girlfriend all alone and depressed while you go off to the mountains to punch goats?
Kyo: What the-?! I wasn't punching goats!
Yuki: Oh, right. Bears.
Kyo: I wasn't doing that either!
(Tohru walks in with breakfast…)
Tohru: Oh, Yuki, you're back! Kagura? I like your new look! (looks at Kyo momentarily) It's a good thing I made a lot! Dig in everyone!
Kagura: Thank you-(clears her throat and speaks higher to mock Tohru) Um, well, thank you!
Tohru: Oh, you're welcome! … (stares at her food)
Yuki: Is something wrong, Miss Honda?
Tohru: Oh-uh-no, I'm sorry! I-I just-I uh…I forgot to make my bed this morning and it just came to mind. I should probably go fix it.
Shigure: I don't really think that's an urgent issue.
Tohru: Oh, well, I'll forget about it for now then…
Yuki: Are you sure that's all that's bothering you?
Tohru: Um, yes.
Kyo: No, it isn't. You're still upset, aren't you?
Tohru: Of course not! I told you I wasn't-
Kyo: It's clear that you are so stop saying you're not! Quit bottling your emotions!
Yuki: You're one to talk about bottling emotions.
Kyo: Shut up!
Shigure: Tohru, if you're upset, you can tell us. We might be able to help you feel better.
Yuki: Shigure's right.
Kagura: I'll help too!
Tohru: Well, I…
Kyo: During the burglary yesterday-
Kaura: BURGLARY?! (wraps her arms around his neck and squeezes him tight) My poor sweet Kyo! You were robbed?! Why didn't you tell me?! They didn't steal your love for me, did they?!
Kyo: Get off, ya crazy woman! I never had that in the first place!
Kagura: How could you say something so mean to me!? (begins running out the door) I'm running away and don't you dare come after me!
Kyo: (eats some of a rice ball) Is this a cod rice ball? Awesome! It tastes great!
Tohru: Really?! Thank you! I made it just for you.
Yuki: This leek rice ball is pretty tasty.
Tohru: Yeah, I thought you'd think so!
Shigure: Gross!
Yuki: Don't knock it until you've tried it, Shigure.
Shigure: No thanks. I'll just knock it. Off my plate.
Kyo: Anyway, what was I saying?
Yuki: Um…
Tohru: I know it had something to do with me. You're always thinking of me, Kyo-
Kyo: I think about other stuff! You're not the most important thing on my mind!
Tohru: Oh…that was kind of hurtful…
Kyo: Wait, I didn't mean that!
Yuki: (sighs) Foolish.
Shigure: Just thinking about that leek rice ball is upsetting my stomach.
Yuki: That was it! You were talking about what upset Miss Honda.
Kyo: Oh yeah! Yesterday-
(Kagura runs back in and starts punching Kyo)
Kagura: You were supposed to come after me!
Kyo: You said not to!
Tohru: Kagura, please! Enough!
(A little later after Kagura has calmed down and Kyo tells of the thief and Tohru's mom's photo…)
Shigure: That's what you're upset about? Just a moment.
(Shigure leaves and returns with a picture frame)
Shigure: Here you are!
Tohru: Oh wow! Mom's picture will fit right in here! Thanks, Shigure!
Shigure: No problem. You should've told me last night. I could've given it to you then.
(The sound of rain pouring comes from outside…)
Kagura: It's raining now…Looks like I'll have to stay here until the weather clears!
Kyo: I don't think so! Here! Take my umbrella! (hands her his umbrella then three more) And Yuki's! And Shigure's! And Tohru's too! Take 'em all! You need a raincoat?!
Shigure: You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like, Kagura.
Kagura: (drops the umbrellas and hugs Kyo) YAY!
Kyo: NOOOO!
Shigure: Tohru, it doesn't bother you to see Kagura hugging Kyo like that?
Tohru: It kind of does, but-
Kagura: (gasps) I'm sorry! I won't do it anymore! At least not while you're in the room! I promise! But if you really love Kyo then you could forgive his one-time flings! That's what I'd do!
Shigure: I don't think one-time fling would be the correct terminology for Kyo and Tohru.
Tohru: Kagura, it's okay. I know you still like Kyo and I can't stop you from feeling the way you do about him. Just, you know, don't cross the friend line.
Kagura: The…friend line?
Tohru: Don't do anything a friend wouldn't do with him.
Kagura: … (looks at Yuki)
Yuki: Uh…yes, Kagura?
Kagura: … (looks at Tohru)
Tohru: Did I say something wrong?
Kagura: … (looks at Kyo)
Kyo: Why are you being so weird?
Tohru: Kyo?
Kyo: What?
Tohru: Kyo…I-…I'm sorry. I was acting so grim and- (tearfully) I really wasn't mad at you though-I wasn't-I-…I was just scared I'd lose mom again… It'd be like…she was dying a second time…
Kyo: (slight gasp) Tohru…
Tohru: I know it's silly and stupid, but I-
Yuki: It's not silly. You were very close to your mother and you love her deeply with all your heart. It's easy to understand why you were so down.
Kyo: I don't think what you said was stupid at all. Just like that damn rat said, you were close to her. You loved her. I knew that already. That's how I knew you were upset. And it upset me to see you upset so… Whatever! Look, you don't have to cry yourself silly all by yourself! Let someone comfort you. Let me comfort you. I won't let you be sad and alone. And if I ever see you like this again I'm gonna be really pissed at you!
Tohru: (blushes) Kyo…
Yuki: Miss Honda…I'm here for you too. I'll always be. Okay? (smiles at her)
Kyo: Stop flirting with my girlfriend!
Yuki: I'm not flirting.
Kyo: Yes, you are!
Yuki: I only told her that she could rely on me and my word means a lot more than yours anyhow.
Kyo: What?!
Tohru: Thank you both! And Kyo?
Kyo: What is it?
Tohru: Let me tell you a secret…
(Tohru leans in toward Kyo and shields their mouths as she gives him a kiss…)
Kyo: (blushes and transforms) Oh man…
Tohru: (giggles and picks Kyo up) Don't tell anyone, okay?
Shigure: Um, guys? What just happened?
(Tohru and Kyo turn to see Shigure, Yuki, and Kagura staring at them…)
Tohru: Oh, right…
Kagura: I want to hear the secret! Tell me! Please Tohru! I want to know!
Tohru: Umm…
Kyo: You know, I don't mind if you tell her. But just her.
Yuki: You sick stupid cat.
Kyo: What?! You don't even know the secret so shut up, ya damn rat!
Yuki: It was obvious what happened. She got so close to you and then you get so flustered you transform?
Kyo: I-I don't know what you're talkin' about!
Shigure: (chuckles) I see…
Kagura: I don't understand! Someone tell me!
Kyo: Why don't you just go home?!
Kagura: (intimidatingly) Say that again…
Shigure: You do know it's easier for Kagura to hurt you as a cat, right?
Kyo: Uh, I didn't say nuthin'…
Kagura: Hm! You know what? It doesn't even matter! Cause I have a boyfriend that isn't Kyo!
(Everyone looks at her with a shocked expression…)
Yuki: Really? Who is it?
Kagura: You, of course!
Tohru/Kyo/Shigure: What?!
Yuki: Huh?!