Authors Note: Dear readers. HAPPY 2015! What a year! This year started busy mostly because last years stuff boiled over. Well, on a personal note, I am going to get married. So this has basically turned my life upside down. This story is still with me. And I am writing it. And I will finish it no matter what! haha. This chapter was the hardest one to write and also one of the darkest. It touches upon the issue of informed consent and physical intimacy, and I have to say part of the reason I took 2 months to write this (yes the first draft of this was written about two months ago!), was because I wasn't sure how to convert an intuition into something believable. I hope you like it. Also, please leave your reviews and critiques! They make me better! The updates will be slower but I promise not to space them out ridiculously.

Disclaimer: TK owns Bleach and these character. But you bet the story is all mine. :)

Chapter 13: Pieces of my Heart

Orihime touched her lips, the memory of her first kiss with Ichigo still lingering in her mind. Now that she had already kissed two other men before, she was tempted to compare but actively told herself not to. After all, this was Ichigo. Yet she found herself thinking back to Byakuya's chaste and patient peck, Ulquiorra's initially hesitant but then incredibly passionate snog and then Ichigo's decisive and rough kiss.

Orihime briefly mused at how each kiss characterised the person who had given it to her so well, which was really strange. Byakuya always came across to her as someone who was absolutely in control. She knew from her experience now that Ulquiorra's cold visage hid an incredibly passionate and intense person. Briefly Orihime felt her heart clench at the memories of their love-making. Ichigo on the other hand was rough on the edges and determined. His kiss had neither hesitation nor restraint. Which had both excited and scared Orihime a bit.

Yet despite having imagined intimacy with Ichigo since the age of twelve, they hadn't gone beyond the kiss. She had gone out with Ichigo a few times again, each date ending with a kiss more passionate than other. Each one leaving her with a torrent of emotions both beautiful and painful. And each one reminding her that their time together was limited and Ichigo was keeping his promise of making the most of it. Yet, somehow she would hesitate and he wouldn't press further.

Orihime wondered why she was hesitating so much. It wasn't like she was a virgin. But she kept chalking it up to nervousness around her first time with someone she had crushed on for decades.

Don't be silly Orihime! Ichigo is still Ichigo. I am sure he will be just as gentle and kind there as he is in everything else.

With a pretty blush colouring her cheeks, she left to meet Ichigo on another date.

"All right guys! Since this looser pub has sucky music and I can't get an in at our regular club tonight, how about we play a game?" Said a very inebriated Renji. Rukia rolled her eyes. But Ichigo, who was soon approaching Renji's level of inebriation nodded excitedly.

"How about strip poker.. I wanna see O.."

"Hell No!" Orihime thanked her stars as Renji interrupted Ichigo.

"Huh? Why?!"

"You perv, Rukia and Nemu are our girlfriends! Like hell I would let you see my woman in her bra."

"I like how you only mind that Ichigo sees me and Nemu in a bra and not Orihime. And don't seem to mind that a bunch of random strangers in this pub would also see us half naked. Or that you assume we would go along with this stupid plan in the first place.." Rukia rolled her eyes at Renji.

"Whatever... I have a better game. I have never."

Everyone looked at Renji perplexed.

"You have never what Renji?" Ichigo slurred.

"Jeez you guys are like children. So basically we go around in circle. When it's your turn, you say something controversial that you have supposedly never done, and everyone who has done it, downs a shot. Those who haven't have to hold their drinks and watch." Renji winked.

"Sounds immature. And likely something inappropriately sexual." Said Ishida, shifting his glasses.

Renji made a face and looked expectantly at everyone else. He knew the rest of them were drunk enough to go along with it. However only Ichigo seemed semi excited.

"K. So, since we already have shots I'll ask the bartender to fill them up. And let's start with something simple. Like I've never kissed a girl."

Ichigo, Ishida and Chad joined Renji in downing their shots. To everyone's surprise, Nemu also joined them.

"Errr Nemu... " Ishida was surprised.

"Whoa! How was it?" Rukia asked with interest. Renji blanched.

"Overrated." Nemu uttered as she wiped her mouth.

"Errr... Ooookay... Ah... I have never..kissed a guy!"

All 3 women downed their shots with Nemu downing her new one.

"Well that was easy." Renji rolled his eyes.

"Aren't we taking turns?" Rukia reminded Renji, who shrugged, cueing Chad to follow.

"Hmm... I have never gone skinny dipping."

Ichigo's eyes widened and Orihime turned pink as everyone else downed their newly filled shots.

"Ishida..." Ichigo said as if seeing Ishida in a whole new light.

"Don't look at me like that Kurosaki. You are creeping me out."

"But... You? How come you never told me?!"

"He is asking why you didn't invite him to see you nekid Ishida." Renji wiggled his eyebrows. Ishida rolled his eyes while Chad sweat dropped. Ichigo picked up his shot for the next confession.

" I'll go with something less freaky so some of us can down our first shot! I've never dined and dashed."

The friends rolled their eyes, since the said dine and dash had happened with all of them present. They all downed their shots.

" Hmmm, I have never slept commando." Ishida said nonchalantly while picking up his shot. Ichigo looked practically flabbergasted now.

"Still creepy with the stares Kurosaki."

"Yeah dude, tone it down. We know you have the hots for Ishida subconsciously, but you gotta back off before his woman at least." Renji looked at Ichigo meaningfully.

However Nemu, Rukia and Orihime soon lifted their shots and downed them, Orihime now feeling the full extent of alcohol hitting her.

"Since Uuryu said this is supposed to be inappropriately sexual, I've never swallowed." Nemu lifted her shot nonchalantly.

"Nemu..."

But no one heard Ishida as all eyes were fixed on Orihime who had lifted her shot glass to her mouth almost automatically.

"I KNEW it!" Rukia screamed, her eyes dancing in obvious glee. "I KNEW you had something going on with that hotty batman!"

Rukia started jumping up and down excitedly as Renji struggled to keep his mouth shut. Ishida turned red and even Chad looked surprised.

Conscious of the sudden attention, Orihime sputtered down the alcohol.

"W..wh..what! What are you s s saying r Rukia chan?!"

"Your boss! The one you called batman! Oh my god, he just LOOKS like someone who would be freaky in bed!"

Immediately her barely recovering friends launched into a heated discussion.

"Wait.. Orihime is not a virgin?!"

"What do you mean by her boss? That sounds like sexual harassment.."

"I hooked up with my boss once. The forbidden aspect totally adds to the excitement."

"Err… Nemu…"

"R..Rukia chan… how?"

"The picture you showed me! Just the way he was standing next to you, and his hand way way below the appropriate waist level!" Orihime blanched.

In a moment of uncharacteristic mischief, Ulquiorra had grabbed her behind as they had stood for pictures. The memory of how Orihime had punished him for that the same night flashed through her mind, as she turned completely red.

"I don't know who this batman is, but way to go Orihime chan! Welcome to adulthood!" Renji said almost downing his shot before realising that they hadn't moved on to the next confession. Rukia on the other hand hugged her friend excitedly, whispering that she was waiting to get the details. Ishida however was focussed on Ichigo who had a strange expression on his face as he sipped on his glass of whiskey.

"Maybe take it easy on the alcohol Kurosaki.." He said gently but stopped when he saw the look in Ichigo's eyes. Realising that Ichigo probably wasn't going to play this game Ishida quickly changed the topic and the friends relapsed into a quiet banter, occasionally touching on the subject of Orihime's tryst with the "insanely hot green eyed boss from New York" as Rukia described him. No one missed that Ichigo neither participated nor uttered a single word for the rest of the night.

Orihime was fairly tipsy by the time the friends had started leaving for home but she could feel something was off. Firstly Ishida had insisted on dropping her home on the way and she had noticed that he was especially careful around Ichigo.

Ichigo on his part seemed very quiet. Orihime knew that part of it might have been because of the information on her and Ulquiorra's affair. She hadn't had the chance to tell him about it. But what would she have said? The topic of past relationships had never come up on one of their dates, and it would have been suspicious to bring Ulquiorra up out of the blue.

When Ishida had left after asking Rukia to drop Orihime, Orihime had insisted that she would be fine and Ichigo had spoken up for the first time since earlier that night, assuring his friends that he could drop Orihime. Rukia had looked sceptical but Renji had dragged her away, telling Orihime and Ichigo to take care.

Now as she sat in Ichigo's car, Orihime was finding the silence deafening. Given how amorous Ichigo had been, she was surprised that he would react badly to the news of Orihime and Ulquiorra being an item. But then again, he was a fairly possessive man.

Ichigo drove towards Orihime's home in silence, his head throbbing with an odd intensity. He had had these spells before, since the time of his mother's death, where he would almost black out. He mused about the events of the night and how a light and fun feeling in his chest had quickly escalated into suffocation. Was it because Orihime had been sleeping with the very man she had complained to Ichigo about a million times? That when he had been tortured and pining for her to come back to Tokyo, she had hooked up with the strange green eyed man in New York? Or the fact that she had apparently engaged in "freaky sex" with someone she barely knew and had even hated?

Ichigo tried to calm his mind. He knew he was being immature. After all, who she slept with was Orihime's business. And he wasn't the type of man who judged women based on their sexual behaviour. However, he had been on more than ten dates with Orihime and on each occasion, she had somehow rebuffed his advances.

She hadn't rejected him. But whenever their kissing had gotten intense, she would break the kiss, smile shyly and hug him tightly. If he were to tell the truth, Ichigo would admit that he was getting frustrated. Apart from Orihime, only Senna had made him wait this long. However, Ichigo could not remember wanting a woman as badly as he wanted Orihime. With each rejection, he had felt unsure. Why had she claimed to love him for such a long time, when she didn't even feel comfortable going all the way with him?

Yet, he had quickly reprimanded himself. From what Ichigo knew, he gathered that Orihime was likely a virgin. And even though he had not cared enough about Senna to take her feelings into account, with Orihime, he was willing to wait till she felt fully confident that she could go all the way.

Even with the six month timeline ticking like a timebomb, he was willing to wait.

Yet somehow, this nights confessions had crashed that pretty visage of a scared virgin, waiting for the right time. If anything, Orihime was more than experienced. The whole business with Ulquiorra shed new light on what was happening with Ichigo.

If she really was comfortable sleeping with someone she hated, why had she been turning Ichigo's advances down? What hurt even more was that every time she did, Orihime would claim to love him. He had thought this as a plea that she wasn't ready but loved him. Now, it just seemed like a lame compensation for rejecting him and hurting his ego.

Ichigo shook his throbbing head. He really should have listened to Ishida and gone easy on the alcohol. Now the world really wasn't making sense. In Ichigo's worldview, Orihime was incapable of harming an ant. But then, in his worldview, Orihime had also been a clueless virgin.

"It's over now." Orihime said, finally breaking the silence.

"It's your business Orihime." Ichigo said evenly. Orihime mulled at the oddness of this. She was used to an overly emotional Ichigo. But he seemed anything but now. Maybe she was overthinking.

"Ah... Hmmm. I know. I just.. Wanted you to know. I didn't mean for you to find out this way..."

"That's fine Hime. You are a grown woman and can think for yourself. You don't need to tell me about every ex fling of yours."

When had Ichigo become so mature? Maybe Orihime was reading too much into things.

When they arrived at her place, Orihime got out to leave, looking forward to some much needed rest. But Ichigo intercepted her mid way as he pulled her close in a hug.

"You smell amazing Hime."

Orihime giggled at how his voice tickled the nape of her neck.

"I smell of alcohol!" She shrunk her nose.

"Shh Hime. You smell of roses." Ichigo said, pulling her even closer and smelling her hair. Orihime blushed.

She could feel Ichigo's hard muscles pressed against her skin, sending tingling sensations down her fingers. When she looked up at his face as he pulled away she was shocked to see the pure heat in his eyes.

In one smooth motion Ichigo lifted Orihime's chin and pulled her into a deep kiss. All rational thoughts left her mind as she melted into his arms, feeling the warmth of his lips. A warmth she never thought she would feel.

He tightened his grip around her as his other hand gentle stroked her side along her length. Orihime could feel goose bumps on her skin.

When they broke apart, Ichigo looked like he wanted to go for another one but Orihime stopped him.

"We are in the middle of the street Ichigo.." turning around she walking to her apartment. But Ichigo followed her. Was he going to come in?! They had kissed a couple of times but this was the first time Ichigo was following her back to her place. Were they really going to spend the night together?!

Orihime did not have time to mull things over. The moment she opened her apartment door, Ichigo pulled her back into another deep kiss, closing the door behind them. He took his time exploring her mouth, his tongue sliding around her lips as he gently sucked her lower lip. Then he started suckling it, increasing the intensity till she couldn't tell their lips apart. Orihime felt her mind go blank until she felt cool air on her stomach. She broke the kiss, realising that Ichigo had pulled up her shirt all the way to her neck, exposing her torso and barely covered breasts.

"Ah.. I..ichi..."

"God, you are gorgeous Hime." He eyed her breasts lustily. Orihime shivered. Ichigo had never looked at her this way. It excited her. But it scared her for some reason. A reason she couldn't place.

Without wasting more time, Ichigo pulled Orihime closer, biting at her left nipple through the fabric of her bra. All sense left Orihime as she mewled loudly. Taking this as a sign of approval, Ichigo started kissing and tugging at her breasts, the combined friction of his mouth and the fabric of her bra sending her in a lustful frenzy. She mewled and squirmed as Ichigo stripped off the bra, lapping up her breasts as he suckled on her nipples hungrily.

A little voice in the back of Orihime's mind kept whispering that things were moving too quickly but she could barely hear it over the sensations of Ichigo's touch. Ichigo's mouth, that full mouth she had looked at and imagined kissing for twelve long years was now hungrily sucking and kissing her breasts. Somehow the thought made her feel strangely drunk and light.

Slowly Ichigo backed Orihime into the corner and started grinding his body into her. Orihime released a shocked "ah" at how rough Ichigo was. An image of Ulquiorra flashed in her mind and Orihime froze.

Misreading this as a demand for more, Ichigo found Orihime's mouth again and crushed his lips on hers as he grabbed her ass roughly, his other hand still squeezing and rubbing her breasts. Orihime woke from her stupor, unable to keep up with Ichigo's pace.

"I...ichi.. W..wait..ah"

"I want you Hime. God I want you so much. " Was she hearing Ichigo's voice? Orihime couldn't tell. It sounded strangely gravely and strained. But he had already started biting and licking the nape of her neck and grinding into her even forcefully, his hands busying themselves with the buttons of her skirt.

Orihime felt her core ache with need yet her toes felt oddly cold. The chill continued climbing up her body as she felt her skirt slide down leaving her completely bare save for her panties.

Ichigo slid one finger inside her wet core. The sensation jolted Orihime from her stupor and her folds instantly contracted at the intrusion.

Orihime had experienced enough physical intimacy to know that something was off. Her body seemed all weird, turning both hot and cold in certain areas. She squirmed slightly and regretted it instantly. Ichigo seemed to have noticed her hesitation and had stopped. She felt his erection on the inside of her thigh, saw the look of doubt creep into his eyes and instantly leaned in and kissed him.

Stop overthinking Orihime! This is Ichigo we are talking about! Maybe you are just nervous. She chided herself as Ichigo attacked her nipples with newfound hunger. This time his movements were more rough, an urgency to them as he started fingering Orihime again. As the tension in her body grew Orihime felt herself getting distracted more and more. At one point the chill in her lower limbs got so bad that she forced her eyes shut, focussing only on the places where Ichigo's body made contact with hers.

That was when it struck her. Something was wrong. Had she been a virgin, Orihime would not have been able to tell the difference and written this slow creeping hesitation off to nerves. But she knew now that foreplay wasn't supposed to leave you this conflicted if you really wanted it. However the mere idea that she may not want Ichigo seemed absurd. This was the very scenario she had played out in her mind several times. It was the mental image of Ichigo that had deflowered Orihime's virgin mind in some of her first erotic dreams.

Then why was she clamming up when her dreams were finally becoming a reality?!

Her apprehension slowed her conscious response to Ichigo's ministrations, which only made his foreplay increasingly aggressive, such that Orihime felt trapped in a vicious cycle.

Part of her told her to vocalize her feelings and stop Ichigo, as it wouldn't be long before they would actually unite. However another part worried that rejecting Ichigo mid act, in their state of undress, would be a huge blow to both his ego and their relationship. Another part reprimanded her on her behaviour.

If she could have sex with Ulquiorra so willingly, without any discussion of a relationship or feelings; why couldn't she do it with Ichigo?! Ichigo, whom she loved. Ichigo, who had finally confessed his own love to her. The one man who defined everything Orihime knew of love and passion?!

All such thoughts flew out of her head when she realized that Ichigo's member was now rubbing against her completely naked core. When had he undressed her completely?! Any moment now he would be inside her, breaking the flimsy wall that was growing stronger, making her head throb. For once she wished she had the courage to ask Ichigo to stop. For once she hoped that Ichigo would not misread her unresponsiveness was as lack of stimulation. Truth was, Orihime felt caught. She had let things go so far, ignoring that cold tingling that had now becoming a vibrant chill coursing through her body that she simply couldn't stop. Not unless she wanted to destroy things between herself and Ichigo permanently.

As Ichigo positioned himself at her entrance he looked at Orihime, some of his consciousness slowly coming back to him. He froze instantly. Pinned under him, completely naked was a woman who looked petrified, like a lamb about to be devoured.

"You don't want me."

Orihime flinched. Ichigo had seen her.

"Oh my god. I almost.. Almost.."

"NO!" Orihime's voice was firm but angry. She would not let Ichigo call this what he was about to call it. She could scarce believe this was even happening. In another world, another time they had been happy, enjoying the heady kisses and a new romance. How had they come to this place, where their naked bodies lay entangled, while their minds processed the fact that Ichigo had just about forced himself on Orihime?

But he hadn't! No! Orihime wouldn't believe it even if it were true. She knew this wasn't just his fault. It was her fault too. Ichigo had misread her indecision and taken a more decisive stance. Only, that had made things worse and he had completely missed her mild protestations. No, this was almost entirely her fault.

But one look at Ichigo's face and Orihime knew it was too late. She had never seen him look like this before, like he had just discovered a disgusting side of him. He looked so stunned and defeated that Orihime wanted to hug him, take him in her arms and tell him to take her if it made him happy. She wished she could go back only a few moments in time just so she could show him how much she loved him. So that she could open herself and take him in even if her entire body protested. For nothing was worse than watching the man she cared about crumble right in front of her.

"Ichigo... Please don't overthink. It's just... I wan.. I..."

Ichigo looked at her with pained eyes, hurt evident in them.

" I can't."

She blinked. Then she waited for him to complete his sentence, all the while dread rising in her being.

But there was nothing more to say. It didn't matter if Orihime had clammed up because of nerves or because she didn't love Ichigo like that anymore. It didn't matter if Ichigo had continued ignorant of her hesitation or with full intent to force himself upon her. It didn't matter how long Orihime had harboured feelings for Ichigo or how long Ichigo had denied his feelings for Orihime. None of that mattered. For in those two words Ichigo had made the fate of their tortured star crossed love clear. And as Orihime felt numbness creeping up on her body she realized that after twelve years of pining, tears, misunderstandings, anger, passion, and stolen kisses, her ill-fated romance with Kurosaki Ichigo and come to an absolute and final end. And as Ichigo got up, dressed and walked out of her apartment, she realized that she did not feel the need to save it anymore. As Ichigo left the house, Orihime felt a cold fury engulf her being, destroying every bit of that idealistic romantic foolish part that had held onto Kurosaki Ichigo for so long.

Ulquiorra tapped on his desktop mouse impatiently. It had been a few weeks since he had started working on the USJF project in Tokyo now but he hadn't made much progress. Usually used to an inhuman level of productivity, this baffled him. He was bringing work home every day, and yet he found himself staring at his computer screen blankly almost 80% of the time.

Tonight was no different and he had already spent two hours on an e-mail that should have taken him about a minute to draft. Frustrated, he got up to make himself coffee, resolving to not sleep till he finished what he was supposed to do, when he heard the doorbell.

Ulquiorra had moved to a business apartment for the duration of his stay in Tokyo but as far as he knew, only Aizen, Urahara and Orihime knew his address. He genuinely hoped it wasn't that creep Urahara paying him a visit armed with one of his many ponzi schemes. Ulquiorra had to commend Aizen for keeping Aizen Corp. away from trouble, despite having a notorious busy body like Urahara for business partner.

As he opened the door though, Ulquiorra's mouth hung open in shock. Standing in front of him, looking over dressed and increasingly haggard was Inoue Orihime. Immediately Ulquiorra knew that something was off. Orihime had a hysterical look in her eyes and he briefly wondered if this was where he would die, at the hands of a gorgeous but crazed woman. He also wondered whether such reaction was due to him calling her boyfriend an ape. What a pathetic reason to die. But Orihime's appearance and the stoic silence she maintained conveyed the seriousness of the issue. Before Ulquiorra could quiz her about her current state though she whispered something.

"I am sorry, I couldn't hear you Inoue san."

"I said fuck me, Ulquiorra." Orihime said in the deadest voice Ulquiorra had ever heard.