Dear Fans,
Hi, um yes. If you ever see me...don't say anything, I believe it's time I take a break from dating...for like seven years...at least. Afterwards I'm going to at least see your I.D. on the spot. Before our date I'd like to see your Birth Certificate. And meet your parents as soon as possible. In the unfortunate event that both parents are not available, grandparents are fine, as well as any aunts or uncles, even cousins.
-Jason