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Let It Go

-x-

You came back to find I was gone
And that place is empty,
Like the hole that was left in me
Like we were nothing at all
It's not what you meant to me
Thought we were meant to be

I let it go and now I know
A brand new life is down this road
And when it's right, you always know
So this time I won't let go

There's only one thing left here to say
Love's never too late

Late that night, Joe didn't complain when Jon kept him awake, tapping away on his phone as he tried to figure out how to use the internet function.

Joe was incredibly supportive. Jon was grateful for that.

He was more grateful when, with a big sigh, Joe grabbed his laptop and helped him out. Together, they managed to find a local florist that could deliver a bouquet as early as the next morning, and another in Canada that could get some flowers to her mom too.

"You know it would have saved you a wallet full of cash to deliver 'em yourself, at least to Renee…" Joe raised a brow in amusement as Jon fumbled around for his credit card.

Jon tried to explain that he wanted to give Renee some space to think about things, but Joe still couldn't understand.

"Alright man" Joe found his card and held it up. "I don't understand it. I don't think she wants space at all. I think she wants you to give her a reason to forget all the fighting and fall back into your arms. But I respect your decision. You know your relationship better than me. Just don't give her too much space or you'll find you let her go so long she doesn't come back…"

- x -

"He's such a lovely boy"

Renee hadn't stopped crying since she'd read that card, even now with her mom gushing down the phone about how beautiful her flowers were.

"I knew from that first day you brought him home to meet us that he was a sweetheart despite his cool exterior. He was trying so hard to impress us. He was terrified we might not like him. I could see how he adored you even back then"

Her mom's words were only making her cry harder. From the beautiful note he wrote, one sentence stood out. I'm sorry for letting you slip through my fingers. It sounded like he'd given up. If he'd accepted their relationship was really done for good, why was she clinging to hope things could be fixed?

"He still loves you Renee, can't you two work things out?"

"I don't know mom" Renee whispered. "I know those rumours weren't true but with all the stress of the last two weeks and then thinking he'd already been with another girl…it's hard for me to think things will ever be normal again"

"Don't worry about trying to run before you can walk. Thank him for the flowers and have another talk. See if you two can't work through it. I know you're hurting, but I don't want you both to regret not giving this another chance. Love is hard. You have to fight for it"

- x -

The next few days were busy. Work took over, leaving Renee little time to think about what to do with her disastrous love life.

As she sat on a lighting crate, chatting to Nattie and Tyson, fate finally brought them together.

She tried not to look obvious, glancing up quickly to see him approaching before dipping her head back down. He had his head down, his customary leather jacket hanging loosely on his body as he rolled his shoulders to whatever was playing through his headphones.

"Hey Jon! How are you?" Nattie called to him, making Renee shift uncomfortably.

Jon looked up and straight into Renee's eyes. He held her gaze as he took out his headphones and although she wanted to, she just couldn't look away.

Nattie quickly realised her mistake, momentarily forgetting that things were less than perfect between Renee and her former love. She exchanged brief pleasantries with Jon before making an apologetic excuse and leaving with her husband in tow.

"Hey" he finally greeted Renee, deep in thought.

"Hi" she returned, grasping the edge of the lighting case for comfort. Sat up there, she was eye to eye with him and it was almost uncomfortable with the elephant in the room.

"You okay?" he asked, berating himself for the stupid question immediately after it left his lips.

Renee chose not to answer it, knowing anything positive she said would be a lie.

"Thank you for the flowers…" she said quietly, looking up at him from underneath her eyelashes.

The corners of his lips lifted. "You're welcome. I know it's not much, but…yeah" he rubbed the back of his neck.

"My mom loved hers too. She was gushing on the phone for over an hour"

He smiled wider, dimples showing. He recalled all too well the way Renee's mom would talk their ears off at every opportunity. It didn't surprise him at all that she was on the phone for so long.

"Good" he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I hope she doesn't think too badly of me anymore…"

Renee shook her head sadly. "You know she adores you Jon"

"I don't deserve that"

Renee didn't respond, lost for words. When she found her voice again, it was to question him.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked coyly.

"You just did" he smiled, lifting the heavy cloud of tension somewhat.

She smiled despite herself.

"Sure you can darlin'" he pressed when she didn't elaborate.

"Why the flowers?"

He pondered that for a moment.

"Because I don't want to just let go of what we had…not without trying…" he rubbed the back of his neck. "I've never had someone like you in my life before and the thought of losing you forever…it's something I'll regret until I die"

She felt her heart flutter at that.

"You mean you don't want this to be the end?" she asked.

"Do you?" he asked, scared at the thought she might not want to try again.

She shook her head. "You know I love you Jon…I just lost some faith in us, that's all"

"I don't want to push you, if you want a clean break then we can try that" he said, sounding like he didn't mean that at all.

"I do want to try. I just don't want to lose you again"

She finally gave in and reached for him and he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her.

"You won't" he promised, mumbling into the soft hair on the top of her head.

- x -

Renee agreed to ride with Jon to the next city tonight, hoping it would give them a chance to really talk. She was nervous. Being in such a confined space for an extended period of time was about to force them to face all the unresolved emotions.

Loading her bag into the trunk of his rental, Renee settled herself into the passenger seat and tried not to dwell on how familiar this was. Singing at the top of her lungs with him made being on the road a joy. She didn't want to think about how much she missed her best friend because crying would only make this harder.

"Your mom texted me by the way" he chuckled, sinking into the driver's seat.

"Oh?" Renee asked, suddenly afraid of what her mom could have said.

"She warned me I better fix things because she wants grand kids soon and I'm the only boyfriend who's ever made you broody" he told her, a smirk on his face as he adjusted the rear view mirror.

"Oh my god" Renee buried her face in her hands, embarrassed.

"I thought it was cute" he laughed.

"I can't believe she said that…that so awkward" she shook her head.

"Don't be embarrassed by your feelings Renee. Not communicating our emotions is what got us here" he replied solemnly, pulling out of the arena parking lot.

It was silent for a moment, the lights of passing cars illuminating the interior of the car as one city faded into another.

"You think that's all it was…lack of communication?" she asked.

He nodded slowly.

"If I'd just come to you before I left and told you how I felt maybe you'd have been there when I got home…"

Renee swallowed hard. "How did you feel?"

"Torn between spending an evening with the woman I love and her family…my family…and knowing that turning down work pushes me further off the radar to be the top guy in the company. I know I'm laid back about my career, but I dreamed of this all my life. I fought so hard to get here. I almost gave up on it. But then it finally happened for me and I don't want to grow old thinking 'what if?' you know?"

Renee absorbed all of that. "Jon? Are they putting pressure on you?" she asked, realisation hitting her all of a sudden.

"Not really…I mean, at every meeting they keep telling me that I'm next in line you know? Keep grinding and working my ass off and they'll throw me a bone…"

Renee sighed. He was playing it down. Now it all made sense.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. "If they were putting all this extra work on you and promising you things you should have said…I'd have understood Jon. I know how that is. I'm career-minded too..."

He just stared ahead at the road, unsure of how to respond. Eventually, he found some words.

"I figured you'd think I was just being selfish. I don't want you to think I consider work more important than you…it's just hard to balance a relationship with a job like this"

"I know" she whispered, reaching over to lace her fingers with his as his free hand rested on the gear stick.

"No relationship I've ever had has lasted. It's hard for me to turn down opportunities at work when you could walk away any moment" he admitted.

That hurt. But she understood. How could she not? She'd seen colleagues throw away incredible chances to further their careers for love and been burned.

"Thank you for opening up…I'm sorry I didn't understand"

"How could you have understood when I didn't tell you?" he sighed, bringing their joined hands up to his lips. Her skin tingled where he pressed a soft kiss to the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry for leaving" she whispered.

"I don't blame you"

"Please tell me what's going on before we get to that stage again?" she pleaded. "And I'll be honest with you too…sometimes, I want us to do normal couple things. I still want to go to Paris. But if you have commitments on my birthday, then we should plan for another time…" she suggested.

He nodded. "I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't care"

"I'm sorry for not supporting you the way I should. I love you so much Jon. I want you to accomplish everything you ever dreamed of. You supported me with those auditions even when you knew it would mean we were apart a lot more. I'd do anything for you. You're the most important person in my life"

She felt him veer over to the right, pulling over on the side of the road. She was about to ask what the hell he was doing when he unbuckled her seat belt and tugged her over the centre console into his lap.

He kissed her like it was the last time he'd ever taste her lips, stealing her breath. Her head spun at the intensity as he poured everything he wanted to say into his actions. He kept one hand at the base of her spine, keeping her securely pressed to his body, the other hand tangled in her hair. It had been so long since she'd felt him like this, her senses immersed in his scent and the sensation of his body underneath her. She always craved him, but having been denied of his kiss and his touch for so long, it was amplified.

"…please" she breathed into his mouth, their lips never losing contact.

"Whatever you want…I'll give you whatever you want" he whispered a promise, holding her like she'd disappear if he let go.

"Just stay" she asked.

And so he held her, enjoying the intimate contact and the heat of her body on his.

They stayed there like that, reacquainting themselves with each other's bodies, and knowing that everything was going to be okay as long as they were together.

- x –

There you have it folks, the final part. Let me know if you liked it!