AN: Hi my lovely readers. I am back with another chapter. I would say I am terribly sorry for the delay but this has become a norm hasn't it? Life it seems is more dramatic than ever. But more than that, I think this fan fiction sparked something that has taken over even my desire to write this story. Did I ever tell you guys that I have been writing stories since I was barely 4-5 years old? I even won some contest, apparently. However at some point in my teens, unable to bear the rejection that comes with having artistic dreams, I stopped writing. This story is the first one I wrote after more than a decade of not writing a single work of fiction. But it was as if a dam broke and now I am filled with all these story ideas, with my own characters and not someone else's. I am a grad student and I do need to finish my PhD. Which is why updating this story takes all the energy due to my busy schedule. But writing this story helped me realise that I want to write. Hopefully I can write well enough to actually make a decent living out of it so I won't need to do something else to sustain myself. And for that reason, I will finish this story. Even if it means updating every 2 months (for which I am terribly sorry). I have been in the position of a reader waiting for updates so I know how it feels to wait for one for a long time. I am truly thankful to those readers who still return and bother keeping up with this story. It means more to me than I can communicate in words.
So without further delay, here is the next chapter of All Kinds of Love.
Disclaimer: The plot is mine but the characters belong to Tite Kubo. :) BTW on the topic of disclaimers and giving credit where due, I would like to dedicate this chapter to The Mindy project. You may recognise something I lifted from that show (I won't spoil it for you). It happens to be one of my favourite scenes from the show so this is my homage to that scene and show.
Chapter 15: With Love or Without It.
"B..Byakuya?"
"Orihime, I wanted to talk to you about something. Would you be able to meet me sometime this week?"
Orihime didn't know what to say. Instinct told her to stay away from men period. However there had always been something calm about Byakuya, strength in his stoicness that people fed off of. To her surprise, Orihime found herself agreeing to meet Byakuya.
"I can meet you in a day or two. Would that work?"
"Sure! That would be great! I'll text you the details." Orihime briefly mused at the slight excitement in Byakuya's voice.
Orihime hung up the phone wondering why she had agreed to meet him. Oh well, maybe its time to clean up my act completely. Yosh! That's it Orihime! You need to stop focussing on all the men and start focussing on yourself and your career!
Orihime took a deep breath of the Tokyo air and walked towards her home, feeling surprised at how quickly she had managed to uplift herself after all that had happened.
Ulquiorra didn't remember much of what happened after Byakuya told him about his proposal. He remembered feeling a bit faint and then coming to just as Byakuya had started getting concerned, then mouthing off some garble about how he was happy for Byakuya and wished him luck and walking back home.
The whole walk back home, he could feel the weight of Byakuya's words hitting him with full force. Technically nothing had changed. Byakuya was planning to ask Orihime to marry him. The woman hadn't actually said yes. Then why was it that Ulquiorra felt completely and utterly dejected, as if all hope was lost?
And why did it matter? Normally, had Ulquiorra been advising a friend who in was in his position he would have asked the friend to start from there. Did it matter that Byakuya was going to ask Orihime to marry him? If so, why did it matter? Did he think Orihime would say yes? If so, why?
However he did not have the luxury of being objective. A puzzle Ulquiorra could solve. However emotions were never his strong point. In the position of a bystander, he may have been able to muse, puzzle things out and come to insightful conclusions. But as an actor he felt absolutely paralysed.
As he sat on his desk at his home office, he wondered why Byakuya had chosen to tell him about this proposal. It was obvious from the man's words that he had sensed that Ulquiorra and Orihime were more than just co-workers. And sure, Byakuya was a much better catch than Ulquiorra when it came to settling down. Heck, Ulquiorra knew that if he were in Orihime's position he would say yes to Byakuya's proposal.
Deep down, Ulquiorra knew that he was affected by what Byakuya had said because he knew that Byakuya was far more capable of caring for Orihime than he could ever be. Unlike him, Byakuya did not have emotional issues he was still evading. Neither did Byakuya feel a constant need to ignore his feelings. Ulquiorra considered Byakuya a far more mature and emotionally healthy individual than even most average men. He was not like the orange haired man the woman had professed her love for. If it was Byakuya, Ulquiorra knew that he wouldn't even be able to compete. So had Byakuya told him about the proposal because he wanted Ulquiorra to withdraw? Heh, as if I am even in the running.
However it wasn't like Byakuya to play dirty and use mind games. If he wanted Ulquiorra to back off, he would have simply said so. Even his expectation that Ulquiorra "understand" was just that. Hope, that if Ulquiorra and Orihime did share a past, then it wouldn't make things awkward for them if Byakuya were to marry Orihime.
Ulquiorra shrugged, staring out at the Tokyo night sky. His head was throbbing and he could feel waves of nausea wracking through his body. He decided to sleep over this one. Tomorrow after all, was another day.
Orihime had visited Rukia once in the Kuchiki manor and so knew that the place had a beautiful garden. However she had never once stepped into it. Sitting on one of the ornate chairs in a secluded corner of the greenhouse, with the soft aroma of roses and lilies surrounding her, Orihime was stunned by its beauty. The garden, very much like Byakuya himself, had a restrained grace and beauty. However it also felt comfortable and inviting.
After his call, Byakuya had asked Orihime to come to his manor for lunch so they could talk. Orihime had mused about how they were not meeting for dinner (which was usually the norm), but it suited her just fine. Dinner at his place would involve a lot of subtexts and connotations that she thought were best kept at a distance.
When she arrived, Orihime was surprised that Byakuya had cooked the lunch himself. The man was ever full of surprises! It was a simple French preparation of confit du canard, however Orihime could tell immediately that Byakuya was a good cook. His attention to detail and the exacting standards of perfection he placed on himself and others served him well the in culinary area. Orihime marvelled at the flavours assaulting her senses despite the relative simplicity of the dish.
After lunch he had escorted her to the greenhouse for some tea and cake. Always a lover of sweet things, Orihime was now staring doe eyed at the Mille Fuelle as Byakuya served her a piece.
"I gather you like sweet things Orihime?"
"Ah! Ummm,… yes! I love sweet things!" Orihime sputtered, her attentions now back to the handsome man sitting in front of her. Orihime noticed that Byakuya looked slightly different today. Strange, she had felt something different but hadn't managed to pinpoint it. Now she realized that he had a small section of his hair on the left side pinned back. The style gave him a prince like and youthful appearance. He wore a simple white T-shirt, a high collared tweed jacket and faded jeans. Orihime looked at herself in embarrassment. Despite Byakuya's casual choice of clothes, he looked gorgeous and elegant. His clothes, though simple, were impeccable. She on the other hand, looked frumpy at best.
Despite all that resolve she had felt the day she walked back from Ulquiorra's place, Orihime had been finding it hard to even wake up and brush her teeth every morning. She felt sluggish and tired and knew something was off when for the third day in a row she didn't feel like getting up at all. Her clothes were a mess and she was surprised at how much upkeep a simple one-bedroom apartment needed when within the last few days her apartment was sprawled with unwashed clothing and half finished take out containers.
Only an hour before she was to leave for his place did Orihime realize that she didn't have a decent dress for the lunch with Byakuya. In a panic stricken state, she pulled out the only decent and clean piece of clothing she had, a long black skirt, and paired it with a simple tank top and plum cardigan.
Orihime sighed. No point thinking about it now. She didn't care about how men viewed her anymore. She was the new and improved Orihime who did not need men's approval or men at all! Yes, she didn't care if she was dressed frumpy or looked washed out. Heck, she didn't care if she was unshaved! Yeah, that's it! I am not going to shave my underarms from now on! Booo to boys!
Byakuya observed the woman sitting in front of him with interest. She seemed lost in thought but that did not stop her from stuffing her mouth with the pastry. A range of expressions flitted through her features. Scared he might burst out laughing, Byakuya cleared his throat.
"You look lovely as ever today Orihime."
"Wha..?" Amidst mouthful of pastry, Orihime looked at Byakuya incredulously. As much due to the misplaced compliment as the fact that Byakuya had commented on her appearance. The only other time he had commented on it was when he had come to her place unannounced. Oh wait, maybe he has a thing for frumpy looking girls?! Makes sense. The guy probably gets tired of gorgeousness staring at his face in the mirror every day!
"I called you today as I wanted to talk to you about the omiai." Byakuya interjected.
All thoughts of Byakuya's superiority in the looks department over her flew out of her head. She had anticipated this meeting to be about the fate of their arranged dates. Heck she had even thought of backing out of the omiai herself. However in the next few days she felt strangely unmotivated to sort through her thoughts or reject Byakuya. Maybe because among all the uncertainty, heartbreak and loss of love she was going through, the omiai with Byakuya was the only stable and constant factor.
As it would seem, Byakuya was going to reject her himself. Orihime couldn't really blame him. She had been uncommunicative, inattentive and involved rather intimately with two other men while seeing him. That the man hadn't rejected her already was a miracle in itself.
Orihime felt a strange sense of foreboding at the thought of having even Byakuya exit her life though. For a split second she felt stricken and afraid. The next moment she reprimanded herself silently for being so weak. She did not need men to live her life. Objectively she knew that. But right now, her objective brain was resting in the deep recesses of her consciousness. Her emotions though, were telling her exactly what she felt. She felt heartbroken.
Pulling herself together Orihime looked Byakuya squarely in the eye. In the last few months she had loved and lost quite a bit. She could take this.
" As you know, I was seeing other candidates as a part of the omiiai."
"Yes." So he found someone better. No surprises there.
"In the last few weeks, I stopped seeing them." OK… where is this going?
"I also came to a realization that I could not simply enter in a marriage of convenience." So he is rejecting us all to go find love? Good for him!
" Since Hisana passed, I had dared not to hope that I could find love again. I loved her deeply and somewhere down the line, the love I felt for her became what I thought love was; so much so that I could no longer separate the emotion from the person. For the longest time this provided me comfort. Yet I came to realize that this was the very thing stopping me from finding love again."
Orihime could relate to this. For this is exactly how she had felt for Ichigo. His presence in her life was overwhelming and all consuming; always pulling her back from anything that may be interesting.
" In five years since Hisana's death, I have been unable to move on. That is, till I met you." All the thoughts swirling in Orihime's head came to a stop. She must have heard wrong. Did Byakuya just say what he did? Without giving her a chance to convince herself he had not, Byakuya ploughed ahead.
" Initially I thought of you as another one of the candidates that could take on the role of the wife of a Kuchiki clan head. I must say that you don't qualify even remotely for that position. You lack poise and appear to be perpetually stumbling through life." Orihime opened her mouth to find a retort but stopped as she saw Byakuya's expression. He spoke all this almost… affectionately.
"Yet, I kept finding myself intrigued and wanting to see you again and again, till it became impossible to get you out of my head. Initially I wondered why this was. Please understand that I am not used to being taken for a ride by my emotions. You are nothing like Hisana. Where she was graceful, you are a klutz; where she was calm, you are at best overtly enthusiastic about life; where she was driven by a singular goal and sure of herself, you appear on most occasions to be lost and unsure of yourself."
OK, now he is just offending me!
"It baffled me that I could fall for a woman so far away from my definition of love". Byakuya stopped here, as if to catch his breath. Then without waiting for Orihime to voice her indignation at the insults, he started talking again.
"And yet, here I am, asking you to consider my proposal in marriage."
Time stopped as Orihime's breath hitched.
" I understand that things have been a bit… tumultuous for you recently. I do not expect us to get married until after six months at earliest. I don't mind giving you the time you need to sort out things on your end. I don't intend to stop our dates unless that is what you want and I do not expect you to agree to them without having the option of changing your mind about marrying me in the future. I just want you to know that I do not intend to enter a loveless marriage with you, Inoue Orihime. I plan to show you exactly how much I love you."
The room was suddenly getting hot and Orihime felt a strange sense of foreboding and excitement at the pit of her stomach.
A million thoughts fought inside her head to come out and present themselves but they would have to wait. She felt so overwhelmed with the thoughts and emotions swirling in her head that all that came out of her mouth were a muffled "Ah".
A pregnant silence graced the duo as they finished dessert and walked towards Byakuya's car. Orihime didn't register Byakuya telling her he would drop her off as it was too late. Nor did she realize that she had agreed to it. She did notice that Byakuya looked increasingly nervous as they got closer to her apartment.
That snapped her out of her stupor all right. Because till that point she did not think that Kuchiki Byakuya could feel petty feelings such as nervousness. Orihime wondered what she should tell him. No one likes an "ah" as a response to their marriage proposal. She was sure that Byakuya must have felt nervous making such a big decision. After all, despite the otherworldly grace he exuded, he was a human.
But his proposal had been so unexpected that Orihime simply did not know how to reply. She couldn't even move past the point of disbelief that a man such as Byakuya would want a mess such as herself for wife. What would she tell him? What COULD she tell him?
As if picking up on her turmoil, Byakuya cleared his throat.
"I understand this is very sudden. And I do apologize that I did not make the proposal more... Ahem... Romantic?"
"Ah no! It's ok Byakuya sa.."
"But I meant what I said. I understand this might not have been the best ... time. And frankly I am still not sure about who I am in light of my feelings for you. So I can walk through this with you. That is, if you wish to walk down this path with me."
"Ah..."
"You do like your Ahs Inoue San."
"S..sssorry! I just.. This is a bit... I thought you would surely reject me!" There. She had said it.
Byakuya examined her features from the corner of his eye for a while before speaking again.
"I apologize for not being more proactive Orihime."
"N..no. That's not what I meant. I mean... This is all very.."
"Sleep over it. I am sorry if my words have bothered you. I also understand that for someone with many eligible suitors, a boring widower might not be an ideal choice.."
"That's absolutely not it Byakuya san! I think you are more than eligible."
Byakuya quirked an eyebrow at this statement. It felt good to know that Orihime thought of him as attractive. For all the attention Byakuya had gotten, he was rarely affected by it. Unless he himself was interested in the woman. For the woman he loved, he was like any other average man. Hesitant, and hopeful that they may respond to him in like.
The duo arrived at Orihime's apartment before they could say anything more. Byakuya silently cursed his car for getting them to their destination without any hiccups. He would have liked to hear Orihime say a bit more about how he was ' more than eligible'.
Orihime on her part seemed to be deep in thought. Now that the initial shock of his proposal had worn off, Orihime wondered where she stood with respect to Byakuya's proposal. She truly didn't know. How was she supposed to? Responding to a loveless arranged marriage was one thing. This felt more like a confession.
As they neared her door and it became apparent that Byakuya was going to take his leave, Orihime searched for words. Drawing a blank, she said the only thing she had been telling herself since Ichigo had walked out of her room.
"Byakuya san, I am flattered by your proposal. I genuinely am. However I have decided to stay away from boys for the time being." She parroted in one go.
" Hmmm…" Byakuya seemed to consider these words for some time as he turned to leave. Walking towards his car he stopped abruptly and tilted his head to look at Orihime from the corner of his eye. Orihime's breath hitched. Although his posture was relaxed, Byakuya's gaze exuded an intensity she had never seen in them before.
"But you see Orihime, I am not a boy." He said in his clear baritone as he opened the drivers seat door. Orihime could feel her heart stop under the heat of his gaze.
" I am a man."
As Byakuya steered away from her house, silence engulfed Orihime, punctuated only by the fast loud thuds of her beating heart.
A/N: Did you get my Mindy Project reference? If not its the line "I am not a boy, I am a man." That line so suits Byakuya! I mean imagine him saying that in his deep voice *shudders* ;)