AN: Here is the new chapter y'all. We are almost nearing the end now with a few chapters left. These two weeks were surprisingly calmer, so I could get this done much quicker. This chapter mainly focuses on Orihime and her thoughts and some ByaHime ;).

To those that reviewed, THANK YOU! I cannot say this eough, but as always each of your reviews brought a smile on my face.

Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns the characters. But the story is all mine.

Chapter 16: Gone

The week after the proposal passed without much incidence, thankfully for Orihime. Byakuya had asked her if she wanted to do some hiking for a change the coming weekend and she had agreed. She wasn't sure why, but despite her long self reflective talks with herself, she simply couldn't bring herself to say no to him.

Work itself was very busy, thanks to their upcoming deadline for the USJF project. Due to that, Orihime hadn't even had a chance to thank Ulquiorra properly. Not that the man was any less busy. He had been in long conference calls with Aizen and Urahara the past few days. When they did see each other, he seemed like he wanted to say something but would always deflect her personal questions and talk about work.

His distant attitude hurt Orihime, but there was nothing she could do about it. She mused at how she had decided to simplify her life and avoid any involvement with the opposite sex, yet things had only gotten more complicated. Apparently you could not ask for love and then shut the doors on it when it became too much to handle. Life was a choice between either a lonely journey or one complicated by too much heartache. Orihime did not know which one was better. But at least now she was wiser to the fact that single life was not as bad as people made it out to be.

Ulquiorra knew that he was avoiding Orihime. He did not know why, but facing her made him more restless. Had Byakuya spoken to her yet? Had she agreed to his proposal? Were they dating in earnest now? Did that mean they were intimate?

All these questions made him feel like he was trying to pry into something he wasn't supposed to. It made him feel petty. And Ulquiorra did not like feeling petty.

But petty was how he felt. In light of Byakuya's interest in Orihime, he was constantly reminded of his inadequacy as a potential partner for her. Ulquiorra had always had a great degree of respect for Byakuya. This respect however, was marred with a slight sense of inferiority complex he felt when around the Kuchiki scion.

Ulquiorra prided himself on his ability to think logically, see things for what they were and not be blinded by emotions, qualities that Byakuya very much shared with him. However, Ulquiorra knew that the reason he wasn't blinded by his emotions was because he was very good at evading them, while Byakuya was simply able to accept and control them. Due to this, Byakuya had always been more intuitive while Ulquiorra had been clueless when it came to understanding people. A gap that had drawn Ulquiorra to Byakuya and motivated him to stay connected, however intermittently, with his pre assigned mentor. Ulquiorra envied Byakuya, because Byakuya had something he could never have: an absolute insight into the workings and desires of his own heart.

It seemed to Ulquiorra that their relationship was not going to change. For now, Byakuya would probably have another thing Ulquiorra dearly wanted but would probably never have.

Ulquiorra sighed. I can't keep this up.

He watched the Tokyo skyline, a hint of sadness in his eyes. He knew what he had to do.

As they hiked through the trails on Mt. Ougiyama, Orihime stared at Byakuya's wide back. She was enjoying the hike and the distance from the bustle of Tokyo. She finally understood what detoxing with nature meant. She could feel months of stress and tension dissipating from her body as she breathed the fresh mountain air. Not having people around for miles also helped relax her body.

Despite the long hike, Orihime felt relaxed. She mused at how this was strange, considering Byakuya's proposal just a few days ago. She also felt guilty that she was enjoying his company without giving him a proper answer, even though he himself had said that that was all right. On occasions during the hike Orihime had tried to convince herself that this outing was no different than her hanging out with a friend. After all, Byakuya was good company.

Once you got over his obviously intimidating appearance and air, he was an easy conversationalist and quite well travelled. He had told her interesting stories about his hikes in and outside of Japan. Also, though curt, he also used words precisely, so that in a few words he could transport Orihime with him to the forests of Bavaria and the foothills of the Andes, both of which Byakuya had hiked.

Orihime wondered if Hisana had accompanied him on these hikes, but she did not dare ask. Something told her that part of his life would always remain a secret he held close to his heart. Also, if Orihime was indeed enjoying the company of a friend, why did it matter who Byakuya had travelled to these places with?

But the fact was that this wasn't a friendly hike. It was a date. Arguably a date very different from the previous ones she had shared with Byakuya. In each of their past meetings, they had discussed their feelings and romantic involvement, as if it were a project they were working on together. But this hike was the first time they were simply enjoying each other's company, without naming anything or discussing the consequences of any actions. It felt strange and yet, it felt refreshing.

The last time she had done something like this was when she had trekked along Manhattan with Ulquiorra. However there was intense sexual tension between them during those excursions.

Orihime looked at Byakuya's wide and muscular back as he walked ahead of her. She could make out the lines of his toned deltoids through the polo shirt. His hair was tied up, with a few strands of his bangs falling on his face. This man was attractive even when he was sweaty and red from hours of hiking. But did she feel any attraction towards him?

Orihime would be lying if she said she did not. It was impossible to imagine a heterosexual woman who did not feel flustered in the presence of Byakuya. However there was something else about him, something that had managed to keep her from rejecting a loveless marriage or any of those depressing omiai meetings with him.

As she puzzled through this, Orihime hit a wall and came to an abrupt halt. It took her a moment to realize that she had bumped into Byakuya.

"Are you tired Orihime?" he asked, concerned.

"Umm.. no, not at all! I used to do karate in high school so I am quite fit!" Orihime felt embarrassed that she had blindly walked into Byakuya.

Byakuya smirked at Orihime's response and handed her his bottle of water. Orihime took it obediently and gulped down the water. How did he know she was thirsty? Well, this man WAS Ulquiorra's equal when it came to being perceptive.

They started walking again, with Byakuya pointing out the silhouettes of other peaks at a distance. He had hiked a few of them before. Orihime mused how they had bantered casually about the places they had been to, including Orihime's visit to New York, without mentioning the partners they had shared these trips with. Yet it did not feel unnatural to talk about those experiences sans their respective ex partners.

I am still as confused as I was before. But I am also lonely. Terribly lonely. And somehow, being with this man, this rock like man, makes me feel like that hole in my heart isn't so bad. Maybe that's what love is? Not finding some ideal, or someone who you have tremendous chemistry with, but being with someone who shares your deepest and darkest of vices? I know he is lonely, and so am I. Maybe that's why Byakuya chose me out of all the probably more eligible women he met?

These thoughts gave her pause. She didn't know what she felt about this new revelation. As if sensing something, Byakuya turned again. They were on a relatively trickier part of the trail so he gave Orihime his hand. Soundlessly she took it and let him lead her through the difficult part of the trail.

How strange. She thought. It's as if fate is telling me to stop troubling myself over this and let him lead me through this difficult patch.

Long after they had crossed the difficult part and Orihime had let go of Byakuya's hands, she could still feel slight warmth in her palms. Warmth that troubled and comforted her at the same time.

They supped on the bento Orihime had made and then Byakuya told her he would drive her back to her apartment. The whole time they maintained a steady stream of banter. Mostly Orihime listened. Now that Byakuya wasn't giving her a primer in life of a noble or asking her polite and vague questions about her career as required in an omiai, Orihime realized that he simply had a lot more interesting things to say than she did. Surprisingly, she found him very forthcoming and easy to talk to. She gathered that once he decided to trust or like someone, Byakuya was fairly open.

This was especially surprising, as Orihime had always thought men did not do well when asked emotional questions. After all, all men around her were like this. With the sole exception of Ishida Uruyu, who was only tight lipped about matters regarding physical intimacy (ironically, as he was dating someone as promiscuous as Nemu), all her male friends had certain ticks. Mention emotions and they would all have strange reactions.

Rukia had several times lamented how Renji would use lame distractions to get out of talking about his emotions. Chad, who was already quiet, would become quieter if possible, if asked personal questions regarding his family background. Ichigo too, had never liked to talk much about his relationships, and would promptly get mad if questioned about whether he was thinking of a future with any of his "girlfriends". Ulquiorra spoke more with his eyes than with his words and usually turned any talk of feelings into an academic discourse on the logic behind these feelings. You could choose to understand him by looking into his eyes, but those deep green eyes were like an endless abyss, and Orihime always felt that once you fell into them there was no return.

Byakuya, although stoic and cold, seemed to be fairly open once you crossed that initial barrier. In a way it felt like a test. If you were brave enough to withstand that icy frontier for a certain time, you were considered good enough to be party to his secrets.

That's how Orihime learnt of all the places he had travelled to. Although she had been tiptoeing around the issue of Hisana, Byakuya told her about their many travels in a very matter of fact way. She learnt that he had always loved travelling. Unbelievably, he was quite rebellious. So he had run away from home and managed to work and hitch hike for a year before he realized that a runaway high school kid could only run for so long before life caught up.

He had returned, apologized to his furious grandfather and worked hard to get into Keio. As a punishment his grandfather had asked him to not only go through the common entrance exam route, but also refused to give him a reference and even actively worked to undermine any influence Kuchiki name would have on his admission. Byakuya was fine with this. He got into Keio on a scholarship despite that.

His exile from the Kuchiki family continued and he worked part time to pay for his living expenses during college. Whatever he saved, Byakuya spent on travel. He would find flights in off peak seasons and hitchhike and live in cheap seedy hostels wherever he travelled. But he loved travelling, and without any financial support from his family, he couldn't afford to travel in luxury like he had as a child.

Orihime found these stories amusing. She was seeing a very different side of Byakuya. She couldn't believe he had been rebellious enough to run away from home. Yet she admired his tenacity. It was easy to forget that this man was ultimately a self-made entrepreneur, especially in light of his family's status and the subtle opulence around him that only comes with generational wealth.

She was surprised to learn that he had rebuilt and redesigned the Kuchiki manor with his income from seaweed admiral. Apparently the old manor had been in a state of neglect as the Kuchiki's were mostly concentrated in Hokkaido or Karakura. But since Byakuya had married Hisana against his family's wishes (she was half Japanese half Korean and had not even a drop of noble blood. Her grandparents on one side were actually refugees), the family refused to help him in refurbishing the old manor.

As Byakuya told her about how he used the opportunity to completely refurbish the manor, Orihime studied the man in front of her.

In some ways, she felt small in front of him. She always knew he was much older, but the difference was truly obvious now that she knew a bit more about him. It wasn't just that he had more years on him than Orihime. Byakuya had lived, loved and lost. Hearing the details of his misadventures while travelling, the way he fought to be with Hisana, against a family that sounded stifling at best, and the fact that after all this, he had barely had a few stolen months with the woman he loved before she was lost forever; hearing all of this made Orihime realize just how ahead of her he was. Even to this day, Orihime still had panic attacks. They had started when Sora suddenly passed away more than ten years ago. She could be strong in front of the world. However, alone she was always wracked with a sense of deep loneliness.

It was this loneliness that had exacerbated her suffering every time Ichigo was with a new woman. She could still remember how it physically hurt to return home alone while another woman would walk back with Ichigo, hand in hand. In retrospect, Orihime mused at how limited her life had been.

She studied hard because she had nothing else to do and she lived alone. She went to Tokyo U because they gave her a scholarship. She took the job at Aizen Inc. because she needed money. All she had thought about in these 25 years was how much she loved Ichigo and how he would never be hers. Even a few months ago, she was simply checking boxes, wondering how despite working so hard she had ended up in a career she didn't care about, while still being single.

Had it not been for working with Ulquiorra on the USJF project, she would have probably still been working aimlessly while constantly pining for Ichigo. In comparison, Byakuya seemed like someone who had taken every challenge and every opportunity life had thrown his way with open arms. He had fought every battle, and come out a better person. As if realizing this she suddenly felt the need to share her own growth with Byakuya, lest he walk too far ahead.

"I am going to quit Aizen corp. after I finish this project." Orihime stopped. Weren't they talking about how to travel in Europe on limited budget? Great Orihime, way to be weird.

Byakuya though, seemed unfazed. Observing her for a moment, he asked, "Hmm... is it because you want to do something else?"

"Ah, umm, no. I like urban planning. But I don't like the way companies approach it. It's all about profit. So I am preparing for the exams for the government jobs in the urban planning department. Maybe it sounds idealistic…"

"No. Not at all. It makes sense given your personality." She knew Byakuya meant what he said. He wasn't one for pleasantries after all. She thought about how Ulquiorra had also supported her decision, and her heart ached thinking about their current estrangement.

"I don't know if I will get it…"

"You can only do your best."

"Yes! Yes… I plan to."

They both became silent, lost in their own thoughts.

" Are the positions in urban planning in Tokyo? Or elsewhere."

"Ah… Tokyo…" Orihime suddenly realized that if she were to marry Byakuya, she would have to move to Hokkaido. Of course, she hadn't thought about this at all. She felt a bit embarrassed that she had given him so little consideration.

"Hmmm"

"I am sorry Byakuya san! I didn't think you would choose me and so frankly I didn't consider the move to Hokkaido at all."

"Not at all Orihime. You seem to care about this job. It isn't the right time to be considering location over passion."

"But…"

"If that is what you want to do, then Tokyo is where we will be. That is if you.."

He trailed off, but she knew what he meant. Orihime hadn't given a reply to Byakuya. She felt a pang of guilt. What am I doing? Am I stringing him along? Shouldn't I tell him I am not emotionally in a place to consider a relationship, much less a marriage? But am I? Am I overthinking this? Just being with him like this, it's not bad at all. In fact, it's far from bad. I feel good being around him. I feel safe. He may be far ahead of me, but I feel like no matter how far ahead he goes, he will hold out his hand for me to take. Maybe I have had love all backwards. Even if I didn't, shouldn't I give him a chance? Of all my trysts with love he is the only one who has mentioned commitment and not shied from naming our relationship.

Looking at Byakuya she said, "I am sorry Byakuya san. I know I haven't given you an answer. But I promise I will properly consider your proposal and give you an honest reply."

Byakuya looked a bit taken aback but then his lips curled in a slight smile.

"I am sure you will Orihime. I am sure you will."

Byakuya had dropped Orihime home after their date, and they had kissed at her door. It seemed like a completely natural progression of events, something that stunned Orihime. This time, Byakuya had not given her the chaste peck that had been their first kiss. He had lightly pulled at her lower lip, which gave him instant access to her mouth, and had kissed her leisurely. Even though it was sensual, Orihime did not feel like Byakuya was pushing her. To her surprise, she had enjoyed the kiss tremendously.

Now that Orihime was a bit more experienced in the matters of physical intimacy, she could tell that that Byakuya was experienced. Even though he had simply held and kissed her, she had instantly felt her heat constrict with need. It wasn't that he had been passionate or brash. It was the way he held and kissed her. One arm circling her waist and gently resting on the small of her back while the other held her chin so he could access her mouth as he pleased, his kiss had driven all thoughts of her growing distance with Ulquiorra and Ichigo's absence out of her mind.

Now as she sat on her bed, unable to sleep, she thought about what all this meant. In the last few weeks her life had turned completely upside down. Too much was happening and she had had no opportunity to keep up with the events or the men in her life.

This much she understood, her decade long romance with the idea and then person of Kurosaki Ichigo, was over. She wanted to think about him, to regret losing that perennial crush, to mourn the death of what could have been a romance beyond compare. But she simply couldn't.

That's because all these years, I was in love with the idea of Ichigo, not the person.

The thought came to her suddenly, as if someone had shone a new light on the old landscape of her consciousness. As she realized this, she knew why she had hesitated when Ichigo had asked her out, and why she was able to consider Byakuya's proposal in marriage despite the fact that Ichigo had walked out of her apartment but a week ago.

To Orihime, it felt a bit anti-climactic that the love she had harboured for so many years, should disappear so silently. But the fact was, that she hadn't stopped loving Ichigo. She still loved him of course. She adored him deeply. But she simply did not see her romantic life as inseparable from the idea of him.

As if on cue, her thoughts immediately meandered to Ulquiorra. That part of her emotions was a lot murkier and inaccessible than her feelings for Ichigo, as ironic as it may seem to her. Her rational mind had come up with several neat and tidy explanations for what had happened with Ulquiorra.

You were in a new place and took to the person closest to you. You were sexually frustrated and could sense that he would let you do as you pleased. You are a single twenty five year old independent woman and by all standards Ulquiorra is hot. She reasoned that having sex without alluding to a relationship was fine. Of course it was. But she didn't know if these rationalizations could describe what had happened between them. Nor could she feel comfortable calling their month long tryst a "fling".

Orihime decided that she needed to speak with Ulquiorra. She had known this since she had barged in on him and demanded he take her after things had gone south with Ichigo. However she always felt tongue-tied when she encountered him. She had texted him a thanks, and he had replied to that ever so politely, asking her to take care and tell him if she needed anything. But this cordial yet distant reply had only made her more hesitant.

However, she couldn't really blame Ulquiorra either. If she were to try thinking from his perspective, what was he supposed to do? They had carried on a month long affair and yet soon afterwards the woman he had slept with had started dating her childhood crush. In that situation, she doubted someone like Ulquiorra would act familiar with her. For all she knew, he probably still thought that she was together with Ichigo. It briefly occurred to her that Ulquiorra was the only one who knew about her and Ichigo's short-lived romance. How ironic that someone she had met a mere few months ago, someone she had even hated in the beginning, had seen her more intimately in all senses, than most people she had known for years. Ulquiorra was also the first one she had confided in about her decision to quit Aizen Corp. The only other person she had told was Byakuya.

Orihime's lips formed a tight line, as if containing her pain. Thinking about Ulquiorra was always physically painful. Maybe he was some sort of an omen in her life. After all, all this mess had started the day she had bumped into him! Or maybe it had started when she had met Byakuya for an omiai.

Orihime couldn't tell. But she knew that she should talk to Ulquiorra. About what, she didn't know. Would he also be the first one to know that she was seriously considering Byakuya's proposal? And that it wasn't simply due to some quarter life crisis women have where they want to marry and settle down with whoever is available?

Orihime had always been alone since she could remember, but she was getting tired of being lonely. The way her relationship with Ichigo ended had only made her aware of the fleeting nature of love and companionship. She felt childish for thinking love could conquer all. She felt immature for thinking she could wait till eternity to be loved back, to be held. Amongst ephemeral things such as feelings and emotions, Byakuya's proposal was concrete. It was a dark rock on a misty coast, beckoning her, telling her that she need not wander anymore. She need not feel like everyone had abandoned her, because he was there. Unlike the mist and water that waxed and waned, that big rock would always be there.

With her mind still filled with such thoughts, Orihime debated whether to seek Ulquiorra out the next day. But she did not have to think any further. He was waiting for her in her office when she arrived at work.

Before she could say anything he interrupted her.

"I am glad you are on time. I had something important to tell you."

Against her will, her heart skipped a beat. Her mind swirled with possibilities of what Ulquiorra could possibly have to tell her that couldn't wait until later that day.

"You are to take leadership of whatever work remains to be done on the USJF project." He said evenly.

"Huh? Me? Why?" Orihime was still trying to process what he had said but he kept talking.

"Because I will not be working on it anymore. I plan to leave Aizen Corp and am moving back to New York to discuss the details with Aizen taicho."

Orihime's eyes widened. "When?" was all that came out of her mouth.

Ulquiorra looked at his watch before looking Orihime straight in the eyes.

"As a matter of fact, right now. Good bye, Orihime."