Do you ever re-read something you've posted and see all the spelling mistakes and "WTF was I trying to say?" sentences and just get raged because you are BETTER THAN THIS? D:

I do. Went back and replaced chapter two after a little bit of editing. Nothing changed story-wise. Just fixed some spelling and one sentence that had me crossing my eyes in annoyance…

On with the show.

-Chapter 2

-Kakuzu-

It had taken a bit longer than expected to get his re-animated body back in-line. Even now he knew he was not at 100%, and though he had finally regained feeling in all of his extremities Kakuzu was still trying to get a hold of his chakra control. When he had awoken in the abandoned Jashin temple he had no chakra at all, and had feared that maybe staying dead would have been the better option.

It was Hidan that had quelled those thoughts. Compaining – loudly – that he had not given almost ten years of dedicated experimentation and grief just for Kakuzu to "shit it all away." Kakuzu had rolled his eyes, but after having to listen to all the apologies the Jashinist had sent up to his god for his "ungrateful dick" of a partner, he hadn't had those thoughts since.

"When the Hell are we going to get out of here anyway? This place is really starting to piss me off!" Hidan suddenly cut through his inner musings – apparently he had been talking this whole time.

"You are wanted in every nation. In some places your flyers are still hanging up. This is one of the few places left where we can lay low." This 'place' just so happened to be in his home village, in an intricate working of tunnels and caves that snaked their way through the hills and mountains of Takigakure. In one-hundred years they had barely changed, and Kakuzu was able to navigate them the same way he had when he was a child.

Hidan rolled his eyes, "The only reason you aren't is because everybody still thinks you're fucking dead! Anyway, how safe can this place be now that those assholes stumbled in here ooh-ing and ahh-ing over some damn cave grass? They are going to come back from the sounds of things!"

Kakuzu scowled, his temper flaring with each of Hidan's outbursts. "There are miles of tunnels to navigate through, plenty of caves to hide, and thanks to me," he glared pointedly at his teammate, "all of these tunnels have never been accessed before. Now shut up!" Part of his annoyance with all of this, was that the researchers had stumbled here almost immediately after he had re-opened the tunnels. He hadn't expected anyone to find them that fast.

Kakuzu had kept this place secret since he was a child. These tunnels were ancient, and if he believed in such a thing, he would say even magical. He took a moment to assess his surroundings. They were in a narrow cavern that swelled outward in the center to almost the entire length of the cave, making almost a diamond shape. There were stalagmites jutting from the floor almost as tall as he was, and years of dripping water had formed smooth rippling rock formations. There was a pool in the center of the room, surrounded by smooth rippled rock and jagged crystal formations that sent the light from their small lantern scattering across the ceiling like stars in the night sky. Only skies didn't have the imposing sharp points of the stalactites that hung down threateningly on the two occupants. Some were wider than ten men combined, others were like little pointed straws. And though some would say that the value of this cave was its beauty, Kakuzu would say that the truest value within it came from the water in that small pool.

All around it was that "cave-grass" Hidan had called it. It grew thick and wild, and in a dark place with no sunlight, it shouldn't be able too. But the water kept it alive. Chakra-infused water. He had brought Hidan here not only to hide, but to regain his lost chakra after his re-animation. Drinking the water had rejuvenated him more in minutes than a month of recovery. After a week, his chakra had flickered and then flared back to life, his body felt truly alive again. Even Hidan had commented on the strength the water had seemed to give him. The researchers had stumbled upon a smaller cavern above them, more of an alcove really, as it wasn't even a quarter of the size of this one. Kakuzu had went to investigate the group, eavesdropping on every word and then after they had left found the same sprout-like weed growing through cracks in the stone floor. He would have ripped out any trace of the plant to make them lose interest and ignored them altogether if not for overhearing just one name.

Ino Yamanaka.

He would sell that blonde to the highest bidder. If he could manage to keep Hidan from killing her that is. His partner had made up his mind that the only reason Jashin had allowed for Kakuzu to be resurrected was because he wanted the souls of the shinobi who had killed him. Kakuzu personally thought the mountain of humans Hidan had slaughtered was payment enough. He wanted nothing more than a fat wallet and to continue on with his life. It just so happened that the pretty little blonde had a 20,000,000 bounty on her head – but only alive. There was a lesser bounty for 50,000 for her death, but if he could kill her, he could capture her just as easily. And there was a massive difference between thousands and millions.

"Did you hear that?" Hidan's sharp words made him freeze. His focus came back to the present as he listened intently.

At first all he could hear was the distant thunder of the waterfalls the village was known for. And then the shifting and scraping of rock came to his attention. It was almost annoying that Hidan had caught it first, it just went to show that he really needed to train harder if he wanted to be any semblance of his former self. "Voices," he spoke low enough that his words didn't echo.

"They're above us," Hidan breathed his reply, "I don't sense much chakra, not many shinobi with them." Kakuzu met his partner's eyes, a twisted grin split across the pale man's face. "Let's kill 'em!"

Kakuzu sighed. "Don't even think about it."

Hidan bristled, "I'm tired of this bullshit Kakuzu! Stop being a pussy and let's give these cocksuckers something to be afraid of!" Kakuzu stalked quickly toward his partner, closing the distance between them until he was only arm-length away. His anger seethed through him, the strings within him tightened and coiled menacingly as he tried to calm himself before he exposed them both to the people above them. "Nobody died and made you leader!" Hidan continued, "I'm tired of waiting for you to come up with a plan. I want bloodshed!" He turned and stormed toward the cavern entrance, swinging his scythe up on to his shoulder.

Kakuzu let out his breath in a serpentine hiss. "Yamanaka may be with them."

-Hidan-

Hidan's heart seemed to do a funny flop in his chest. With her name he could practically envision the hot little blonde before his very eyes. He could imagine her screaming, crying, and bleeding. It was enough to give him a hard-on. He had been waiting so patiently all these years to exact revenge, and the sweet feeling of one of his victims being so close made him stop mid-step, glaring at the rocks before him as doubt suddenly crept in. It was too good to be true.

"How do you know?" he tilted his head toward the taller man, seeing and not caring that the old-man seemed ready to strike him in anger.

Kakuzu had replaced his mask and head covering shortly after his revival, but his eyes burned with an intensity he only ever got when Hidan threatened to burn all his money. "The group that came here before. They were talking about bringing her in to look at it."

Hidan smirked as a butterfly seemed to flutter in his stomach. "Even better, let's go kill that bitch!" he almost giggled in giddy excitement.

Kakuzu came forward, closing some distance between them once more, "We don't know if she is with them you idiot! If you go and slaughter them she may never come!"

Hidan's lip curled, he weighed the options in his mind. As much as he hated to agree with the sacrilegious old-fart, they wouldn't get a better opportunity than this. "Fine!" he spat, "We'll recon first but if she's there I am sacrificing every last one. Jashin has been patient but it is time I sent some offerings his way."

"All but her," Kakuzu's words made him spin to fully face his partner. The incredulous look of disbelief on his face was probably comical, but Kakuzu didn't laugh.

"Excuse –the fuck – me!?" Hidan wanted her body bloddless and brutalized, what in the Hell was this bastard thinking?

"She's got a bounty – "

"Oh fuck no!" Hidan turned away before he decked the man. "After what she did –"

"They want her alive," Kakuzu continued without acknowledging his obvious distress.

"Alive!?" Hidan almost roared it, but instead it came out as a guttural whisper. But if he had to listen to any more of this shit he wasn't sure he could keep his anger in check long enough to keep their position a secret. "Now I know you are going fucking insane!"

"Think about it!" Kakuzu sudden;y tried cajoling him, "Imagine why they would want her alive? Whatever they intend to do with her is going to be much worse than whatever we will do!"

"Maybe you," Hidan sneered, "But not me. I've been fantasizing about that bitch's screams for much longer than you have! I was trapped in a hole in the ground with nothing but my thoughts to keep me going well after you were already dead!" His eyes grew wild as he recalled the worms digging through his eyes, eating away at all the soft flesh they could. Two weeks after being freed, Hidan had been eating barbeque when his nose had begun to tingle. He sneezed, and in place of snot, a centipede had crawled from his nostril. The memory only cemented his opinion on this matter – Jashin knew, how many bugs were still in his head!?

"I got you out in case you've forgotten," Kakuzu growled.

"And I brought you back from the dead! Don't play like I owe you any fucking favors!" Hidan crossed his arms over his chest in challenge.

Kakuzu let out a slew of curses that, in a better mood, would have made Hidan proud. Now it just served to frustrate him further. It was obvious neither were going to back down. "Let me take her alive, and I won't interfere with any of the others. You can take your time peeling off their skin or whatever the hell it is that you do with them. You can slaughter everyone we meet from here to the drop-off, which is in West Earth Country, might I add," He looked pointedly at the Jashinist, knowing his offer was a good one.

"Every single one we meet?" Hidan had been starved of his rituals since Kakuzu had holed them up in this shit-hole cave. Even before that, Kakuzu had forced him to tone it down to avoid unnecessary attention.

"If that's what you want."

"And what about the others?" Hidan narrowed his eyes.

"Bounties on all of them, but not one of them alive. As long as I can have the bodies when you're done, you can do what you want," Kakuzu opened his arms wide, an innocent gesture meant to show there were no tricks up his sleeve.

Hidan frowned, immediately regretting his choice even as he nodded in approval, "Fine blondie can live. Can we do this now?" his voice was strained and petulant.

Kakuzu stepped around him, not even trying to muffle the dark chuckle as he brushed past. Hidan struggled not to punch the back of his head as they moved forward with Kakuzu taking the lead.

Kakuzu was better at recon.

O

I almost added the next bit with Ino in here, I've only now just realized how short these chapters are…but it's 3:30am, and I have an almost-3-year-old who will be bright eyed and bushy tailed at 8am. I have no beta, and I did not check this for errors. I'll fix any I find before I post the next chapter. Just wanted to get this one out there.