Levi sat on top of his bed, unbuttoning his top. He couldn't stop thinking about Eren. He held Eren. He held him. He could still remember the way Eren's hair smelled, how soft his skin was. Levi couldn't believe he was getting flustered over his squad member. A commander falling for their squad; It was unheard of. And they were both men- two men together? Levi felt uncomfortable; he wondered what would happen if people caught wind of Levi's emotions for one of his comrades. He shuttered at that idea. It scared him, nearly to the point of tears. Of course, Levi wasn't opposed to homosexuality. But he had a reputation to uphold, and his peers weren't always the most mature when it came to matters like "love" or "relationships." Levi sighed, taking off his shirt and the intricate straps of the 3DMG. He laid on his bed, folding his hands behind his head.

Eren sat on the floor of his home, which he shared with Mikasa and Armin. They were both asleep, he was sure. But Eren was restless- anxious, even. He couldn't get Levi's gentle, delicate touch out of his head. The way Levi comforted him when he was upset, how Levi held him- it made Eren's heart skip a beat. He blushed just thinking about it. Eren covered his face, even though he knew he was alone. He had a crush on the commander for a long time, but he figured Levi hated his guts. Levi was always calling him a brat, sometimes even a piece of shit. But the way Levi had been acting the past few years just confused Eren. His first impression of Commander Levi was that he was a hateful, stone-cold leader. But the more time he spent with him, he learned more and more about Levi. He discovered his softer side. Before Petra had died, Eren remembered how she mentioned Levi wasn't as mean as he seemed. Then he caught word of Petra and Levi's relationship- before she was killed by Annie in her titan form. After Petra passed, Eren had conflicting emotions. He felt angry that his fellow comrade was killed, but hope to be with Levi. Then he felt awful for thinking of Petra's death as an open door that lead to being with Levi. Just thinking about it made Eren feel angry at himself. How could he feel grateful for his comrade's death?! Though, it wasn't complete gratitude. It wasn't that Eren was glad Petra died he just… Eren couldn't even come up with a way to sugar coat it. The only way he could get by was to push that thought out of his mind.

Eren sighed, leaning his head against the wall and looking up at the wooden ceiling. He shivered as the cold, night air blew open his window, the curtains billowing. Eren slowly stood, holding himself to keep warm as he made his way over to close the window. As he grabbed the window sides, he noticed how big the moon was. The sky was clear, each star popping and sparkling. Eren could see every individual star, since there was no light pollution in the town. The moon was bright and full, casting light over Trost. He closed the windows, locking them. Eren couldn't sleep; he knew he never would if he just lay in bed all night. He left his room, quietly, and grabbed a heavy jacket. He went outside, locking the door behind him, and walking into the night.
Even though it was a chilly, windy night, the harshest of winds was blocked by the surrounding buildings. But even though the gusts of air didn't come in bursts, the air swept and swirled like water, bouncing off walls and swirling the leaves in small, delicate tornadoes. The world around Eren fascinated and enfuriated him. It was beautiful and aggrivating; he felt trapped and claustrophobic inside the damned walls. It was shamefull for humans to be locked away in fear of the titans that roamed the earth. Eren recalled to Armin's comment of seas of water filled with salt, and large wastelands of snow and ice, complete with freezing weather. Eren went into a trance, imagining a world where he could explore and just be free.

The dark-haired commander glanced, from where he lay on his bed, outside his window. The moon was at just the right angle to shine brightly into his bedroom, which was slightly annoying. Normally, Levi wouldn't be so ungrateful for the ability to see the moon's glow, but tonight he was too tired to care about the privelidge he had just to be above ground. He remembered the times when he was younger, living in the city the was deep below the earth. Levi and his two best friends- Isabel and Furlan- would spend hours looking at the sky through a hole located deep in a hidden cavern. The hole was large, but hidden enough that no one else knew where it was located but them. Nothing but hope and despair would circle their minds, hoping they'd get just one chance to smell the fresh air for themselves one day, instead of staring longingly at the everlasting blue sky.
Levi sighed, getting up to close the curtains. The moonlight glistened on his black, well-kept hair, the shadows defining his hard-earned muscles. As he did, he saw a dark figure passing by beneath the the hell, he thought. Who the fuck is out this late at night? He focused as well as he could- his eyes trained to see well in the dark- and noticed it was, in fact, the man he had been thinking about, not just ten minutes prior. Maybe fate isn't bullshit, he thought, smiling to himself.

"Hey, Eren," Levi called quietly to his squad memeber, wearing a light jacket to cover himself. "What are you doing out this late?"
"C-commander Levi!" Eren burst out, surprised. He could feel his face growing hot, his commander staring t him expectantly, awaiting for Eren to answer. "I... W-well, I couldn't sleep..."
"Sleep is important, you know." Levi sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Eren looked at his hands awkwardly, trying not to stare. "You won't be able to perform your best if you don't get enough sleep at night."
"U-um, Commander Levi, we don't have anything scheduled tomorrow..."
Levi chuckled quietly. "Smart kid. You pay attention, at least."
"T-thank you, sir." Eren croaked. The two of them spent a few seconds in silence, but to Eren it felt like eternity. He didn't know what to say- he didn't know what to do! If he was quiet, he was afraid Levi would think he was weird. But if he just walked away, Eren worried he would seem rude! Eren unconsciously fidgeted his hands in his pockets, a nervous tick he had developed after the time of peace.

"Eren." Levi's voice cut through the silence, startling Eren.
"Y-yes?!" He blurted, fidgeting uncomfortably.
"Earlier, you said I intimidated you; is that really true?" Eren looked at his squad leader, who's face was contorted in a strange way. His eye brows were furrowed, and a deep sorrow filled his grey eyes. Eren felt a pang go off in his heart.
This was the first time he'd seen Levi show his true emotions.

"Well? Is it?" Levi pushed further, a little more desperately this time.
"I...uh..." Eren stood awkwardly. He felt trapped, not sure if he should lie or tell the truth. He felt extremely frustrated, like his heart was going to explode out of his chest. He felt sad and angry and claustrophobic, though he didn't know why. It was a simple question, one he should've been able to answer, but it hit him in a strange way he didn't understand. All he wanted was to run and hide.
Levi just lowered his head. "Tch," he said through his teeth. "You brat- I'm going through hell because of you- I'm just... I'm getting whiplashed here."
That was Eren's breaking point. "I'm sorry, sir," he croaked, turning and running toward the way he came. His eyes stung and his vision blurred. He was so tired of feeling hated and disliked by his own squad leader. If he hates me so much, Eren thought, why hasn't he just killed me yet?!
Eren took a sharp turn into an alleyway between two buildings. It cut from one street to another, but the alley was blocked from the moonlight, so it was darker than the street. He leaned against the wall, covering his face as he sobbed. He felt like he was going soft- like he was turning into a baby because of a petty crush. And not just a crush, but a HOMOSEXUAL crush. He didn't understand why it was happening, and surely didn't want anyone else to know. Homosexuality wasn't exactly common- nor was it terribly supported- in the districts. He knew he had to keep it to himself, and he DEFINITELY couldn't tell Levi. But it was all just too much for Eren to handle. He had to take a break from pretending, and just cry. He sobbed silently into his hands, his breath shaky and unstable. His eyes hurt and burned from wiping and rubbing them clear of his tears, when suddenly he heard someone approach him from the street. He knew it was Levi. He didn't have to look up. He felt ashamed and vulnerable as he hid his face, even though he was sure Levi knew he was crying.

"Eren," Levi's voice sounded soft and stern at the same time, and it made Eren only want to cry more. His cold appearance and soft personality melted and broke his heart at the same time. "Eren, stop crying and stand up." Eren peeked from behind his hands to see Levi's strong, callused hand lowered down. Eren uncovered his eyes and looked at the hand, hesitant to take hold of it. "Come on, stand up," Levi repeated. Slowly and gingerly, Eren placed his own hand into Levi's, feeling an invisible, imaginary spark as his skin touched his commander's. Eren was pulled up onto his feet, and he wiped his eyes and nose again, his face cold from the tears being dried by the wind. His eyes burned and his nose was cold. He was sure he looked absolutely ridiculous. "Eren, look at me." Eren darted his eyes to meet Levi's, but immediately looked back down at his feet. "Eren, look at me." Eren felt Levi grab his chin and cheek with one hand, tilting it to make him look at Levi. It was strong, swift, gentle movement that startled Eren in a way he wasn't sure was good or bad. He looked reluctantly into Levi's hard, grey eyes, only to find them staring right back at his own. Eren felt embarassed and shy and vulnerable again, feeling his eyes on the bridge of bursting again. He didn't want to cry.

"Eren, I need you to listen to me very closely," Levi spoke quietly and firmly, showing he was serious and sympathetic. "I want you to tell me exactly what you think of me. Please, right now."
"I-I... I'm not sure I can,"
"Fine, then." Levi backed away. He let go of Eren, who felt a conflicting emotion between relieved and disappointed. "But tomorrow night, I want to to come over to my home, and we need to talk."
"T-talk?" Eren asked.
"Yes," Levi pointed at the wall Eren was leaning against. "This building, right here- the one you're leaning on- is where I've been staying the past couple of weeks. I want you to meet me here tomorrow night, and we need to talk about your strange behavior."
"My strange behav-"
"And if you don't show," Levi leaned in once again, inches from Eren's face. "I know where you're staying. I will come over personally and we will talk there, in front of your friends, who will also hear about what's been going on lately." Eren flushed, his eyebrows raising. I definitely DON'T want that, he thought. He sighed reluctantly.
"Fine. Tomorrow night," he agreed.
"Alright," Levi turned, walking out of the alley and to his front door. "I'll see you then, brat." Eren dazed off, watching him leave. After he heard Levi go inside, locking the door behind him, he slid gently down the wall, lowering to a sitting position. He gazed at the sky, blushing as the memories of what just happened swirled in his head.

Now he DEFINITELY wasn't going to get any sleep.