Author's note: I'm sorry for not updating :') Thank you for your patience! This chapter take up S02E14 "Saturday Fight Live", so I'm sorry for spoilers!
And like always: Sorry for my bad english, haha.
Reviews are appreciated!
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"Don't giggle! I am right! You just have a thing for those bitches, haven't you?" Lauren raised her voice a little bit and punched Amy playfully. "But you're … kind of a bitch, too. So I would have a thing for you too, wouldn't I?" Well done, Amy. You're really discreet.
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The girl felt how Lauren tensed a little bit, narrowing her eyes, put her hands down. The tiny blonde felt her heart racing. Fuck. Fuck. What is this?! A bad joke? After a moment in silence Lauren smirked suddenly. "You have to promise you won't fall in love with me."
Amy stared at her stepsister, confused, but then she conceived the allusion and broke out in laughter. "But you won't tell me, that you've got leukemia, will you?" The tension between the girls vanished, when Lauren punched her again, grinning. "I didn't expect you could recall "A walk to remember" this good! You were asleep half of the movie like daddy!" Amy moaned theatrically. "Because the movie was SO BAD. And I already knew it, because Karma made me watching it." Lauren pouted a little bit. "It was not really bad. Just… REALLY … cheesy."
Giggling Lauren laid back down, watching Amy carefully. At least she was laughing. She hated when Amy was crying. Well, when Lauren didn't make her. "You're looking like shit." She grinned at her stepsister, playing with the fabric of Amy's bed again. Amy became silent, gazed at Lauren. It was a slightly awkward moment, but she returned the look.
"You don't." Amy whispered, slowly reaching out, to stop Lauren fondling with her sheets, tenderly touching Lauren's fingers. She must be kidding… Why is she doing that? Saying things like that? This time Lauren didn't flinch back from the touch, instead she grabbed Amy's hand, holding it tightly. "I thought you won't tell me, that I'm pretty?"
"I didn't." Well, I'm holding hands with my stepsister. And it feels… quite… okay, no… It feels really good. Her fingers are so small and she seems so breakable. Amy sniffed weakly, before smiling. She is really beautiful. It could be the perfect moment to kiss her. Her own thoughts were confusing Amy. In one second she cried after Reagan, in the other she was thinking about… wait… thinking about kissing Lauren?! This was… very… weird. "W-well… we could… watch a film, or something?" Loosening the grip, Amy sat up, breaking this intimate moment. Her voice was too husky, too shaky to sound like nothing happened just this minute, to convince herself that there was no awkward feeling in her stomach, watching the small blonde next to her.
What's wrong?! Lauren frowned slightly, cleared her throat and also sat up. "But it has to be a good one. And I want my ice cream."
It was awkward to cuddle herself into someone else's sheets. The bed smelt like Amy, but it was a warm and nice feeling. "You have to move a bit!" Lauren groaned. "You're not that fat, are you?" She hissed, pulling at the blanket, to cover herself more in it. Amy kneeled at her bed, in one hand the icecream, in the other the spoons, looking down at Lauren. "Well. You don't have to move, but I didn't expect you to cuddle with me. But your wish is my command." Wait… what?
She dropped down, before clinging at Lauren, smiling provocatively. Well… that's unexpected. Lauren swallowed hard, clenching her teeth, ignoring the fluttering feeling that was overcoming her. "Okay, okay! You've won!" She sighed, moving a bit aside, immediately missing the warm body against her own. Did she noticed a disappointed glimpse of Amy? Silently both of them sat there, Lauren biting her lower lip nervously, while Amy was searching the movie they agreed on.
I don't know what I'm doing. This is… so awkward.
The Intro played and Amy leant back, so that her shoulder brushed against Lauren's, which made her shrug immediately. "Sorry." The small blonde whispered embarrassed, noticing her own over-reaction. Amy glimpsed at her more than confused. "Just eat your ice-cream." She answered, while watching how Lauren played with her spoon in it. Lauren's acting so … off. What's wrong?!
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They watched the movie without any incidences, commenting on the bad acting and the terrible plot, eating ice-cream, grinning about the jokes of the other. All in all was it a nice time they spend together. Soon Lauren forgot the strange feelings in her stomach, it felt right sitting next to Amy, who was really relieved getting distraction by her stepsister. They didn't even noticed how they moved closer together, until Amy put her arm around Lauren, by habit from the movie-nights with Karma. Lauren winced and looked with a shocked expression at Amy, who didn't lose her grip. "You were sitting on my arm, it got really uncomfortable." Just nodding Lauren cuddled in the pillow behind her and Amy's arm. Suddenly she noticed the weird feeling again, which made her frown a little bit. As soon as the credits played Lauren straightened herself up and cleared her throat.
"So. Before this gets even weirder I'll go to bed." Her voice fake-sweet as usual. Amy giggled in amusement. "I thought we would have a sleep-over?" With a small grin she watched Lauren's reaction. "You seemed to feel very comfortable in my bed beside me, didn't you?" Her stepsister just felt how her face was heating up and hated her body for this obvious reaction. "No way in hell. Are you sick, or something?" She hissed, standing up abruptly, glaring at Amy. "This evening was an exception. Don't make this weird, okay?!" Her voice raised at her last words, but they didn't have the power as usual. For Amy her voice sounded not as annoying as it used to do. She groaned and stretched out on her bed. "The only one making this evening weird is you, Lauren. If you don't want any company just go, instead of screaming at me like I'd have attempt to rape you." Lauren fell silent, just watching Amy on her bed. With her lips curling she crossed her arms. "I didn't." She growled. "Let's never speak again of it, ok?! Good night!" With swearing words on her lips Lauren turned around, on her way out of Amy's room. "Too bad. I think it was really nice with you, Lauren." Amy's words resonated in her head this night, causing her sleepless hours.
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The next week was annoying and exhausting for both of them. Amy was crying, lying in her bed most of the time, hiding from the real world and her responsibilities. Karma was a quite good company, eating junk food, watching series and so on. The pain the break-up caused the blonde was incredible. She didn't expect this end of her first real lesbian relationship. When she met Lauren it was more than awkward. Her small stepsister glimpsed at her, Amy could see the judging expression in her eyes, but sometimes she could swear that there was more than that, but always when Amy wanted to begin a conversation, Lauren hissed or yelled at her, or even worse: became silent, before leaving the room. As painful as the break-up was, it wasn't quite helpfully either, that Lauren acted even weirder than before. Sometimes Amy caught herself at wondering if Lauren was meeting with Theo again. This thought build a knot in her stomach, which she couldn't really explain. Soon she tried to distract herself from this with even more junk food and more series.
Lauren couldn't stand watching Amy suffering. At first she didn't admit it to herself, but the thoughts were to convincing. She thought Amy was pitiful, pathetic even, just hiding from anything in this world, crying over this fucking Reagan-bitch. And not about her. Wait. No. Not about something she had done. She hated the thought that Amy was suffering from the treatment of somebody else. And then the fact, that Karma was ALWAYS in their house. Always. It was so annoying! Lauren couldn't neither hear her annoying voice nor waiting in front of the bathroom until Karma was ready, anymore. As weren't these things distressing enough, Theo had begun to write and call her again. First, when she answered, it was just a distraction from her very confusing thoughts about her stepsister, but soon enough she found herself in enjoying the attention. Also she already knew, that he wasn't the person she wanted it from. You're hiding your feelings even from yourself. You're the pathetic one here.
Things were getting even weirder, when Amy found the note of Theo. Lauren cursed silently, not wanting Amy to found out the … thing… she had with Theo. She didn't even want it at all, but Amy knowing seemed much worse, than defending herself from her inner judging voice. So while pretending, that she was so in love with that guy, who broke her heart, hearing the sweet words, of how he missed her eyes and her kisses and… oh… when the fuck did she became this cheesy?! … she tried to convince herself really, that she was. Maybe it would help to say it out loud? "Theo, Theo, Theo… I hoped that would summon you-" Well… this was so fucked up. He explained her that he had left the said note, and she pretended to be sooo happy about it, her thoughts already racing what would be if someone else would find it.
"Wha… Look, what I've found! Look!" Of course. Why did Lauren expect to have luck at all? She didn't have it since she moved here, did she? She stared at Amy in shock, not knowing what she had to say. Even standing in front of her, made her thinking back on this weird evening and made her swallowing hard. "I'm counting the hours until I see you again." Amy read in disbelief. "W-… What is that? I don't know it's definitely not for me… " Well… Lauren… that was not really convincing. You used to be a better actress. "Ouuuhhh! I know exactly what this is!" Lauren, you're fucked. And you know it right? She prepared herself to tell Amy, slowly closing her eyes to gain power. "You do?"
"My mom is having an affair." Amy couldn't believe it. Why was her life getting worse every minute? She looked at her blonde stepsister. It was the first moment since this evening that they talked like normal persons with each other. Kind of… Lauren was still acting strange. But her mother also acted off and suspiciously. Lauren and she were eating breakfast, in silence, but Amy was giving her knowing looks. Her stepsister slowly drinking her tea, her braid was perfect like always, just like her make-up and… wait. No more of this crazy thoughts! She complimented her mother on the new haircut. "It looks nice!" Amy told her, but when Farrah left the room she whispered to Lauren: "Too nice. I've seen it all before. The hair dude, the happiness… She's cheating!" Lauren rolled her eyes at her, but Amy knew she was right. And it made her so angry, she nearly forgot why she looked like a total mess.
"You don't know that! Maybe it was from Bruce!" Way to go, Lauren. Just make everybody suspicious except for you. "Nope! This is my mom's pattern! She cheats on every husband with the next one!" Amy went on gossiping over the bad taste her mother had. "Believe it or not: Bruce was the best on the bunch." Her compliment made Lauren proud. Of course she had her disputes with her father, but she knew he loved her and that she was his little girl, and that he would… "And… ahm… This whole 'stepsister-thing' wasn't so terrible either." Wait. What. Don't make a fucking fuss about it, Lauren Cooper! She demanded herself, also she felt this weird feeling, she was to suppress the last time, in her stomach again. "Same." She simply answered.
"Right! So… this is our family and it's up to us to keep her from wrecking it!" "If we can prove that she started something. You have a tendency to handle with too little information." Too little information. If Amy would know… But Lauren kept going: "Remember the croquembouche?" Amy couldn't prevent herself from laughing. Lauren looked so funny, when Amy giggled. "It's just a funny word!" It was the first real laughter in the last past days.
Again Lauren rolled with her eyes, crossed her arms over her chest, but couldn't suppress the relieved expression in her eyes. It made her stomach fluttering hearing this. "You're such a weirdo." Amy grinned at her, picking one of the croissants next to her and began to eat. "Well, I know you like that, don't you?" Instead of an instant answer Lauren gripped her mug tighter and sipped slowly her tea. "You wish." She murmured after a while, raising an eyebrow.
This day was so strange, barely explainable. First Lauren thought Amy became crazy over the break-up, or this 'affair-thing' but when they found the card of the motel this thing became more and more suspicious. It was distressing and awful, but she also was kind of happy to spent time with her stepsister, also she wouldn't say it out loud. It was… just nice… to have a person around her, she didn't want to kill immediately. Even the preparing for dinner wasn't that annoying. But Amy kept speaking about Farrah and what a cheater she was. Lauren couldn't stand it. Though she loved her dad, she admitted to Amy that he also had a… history of cheating. The dinner with their parents was simply awkward. Both of them interrogated their parents, but weren't getting any unreasonable answers. Instead Farrah got confused and asked Amy why she acted so off, before concluding: "Oh… I know what this is about. You're still smarten up from your break-up! And right now I know you just hope you'll never fall in love again! But your soulmate is out there!" Lauren grinded her teeth at these words. Why was she even here? Couldn't she vanish in this moment? "You'll find him someday! … Or her. Them. Whoever!" Lauren couldn't resist looking at Amy, but catching her glance in the same moment. Her stepsister just shrugged and sighed slightly.
Soon after that Lauren found herself on a 'stake-out' with Amy. Wasn't that rather Theo's job? But… whatever. She only wished she could have stayed on their sofa a little bit longer, instead of assaulting the next store for Amy's snacks and then spending way too much life time in her car with that ugly sweater on, waiting for one of her parents to show up in this sleazy motel. On the other hand… she spent her time at least not with Anthony, who had bombarded her with messages and sweet words. She sighed. What was she doing? She watched how Amy stuffed this unhealthy trash into her mouth and raised an eyebrow. Disgusting.
Amy played with the radio, but turned it off soon again. Lauren's judging look was too worse to stand. Wait. Since when she couldn't stand Lauren's look? This whole day was so strange. Spending time with Lauren like… sist… like friends? Also she was her stepsister, she didn't really want to think of her like that. Amy didn't even noticed, that she was staring at the little blonde. This black sweater looked so funny at her. "What is it?" Lauren hissed annoyed and looked at her. Well. This was the Lauren she knew. Amy swallowed, still staring at her. "Nothing. It's just unusual to see you in comfortable clothes. Normally you're looking like a doll, totally dressed up." Sometimes she envied her, how she just looked always perfect, but sometimes it's also a different feeling. Admiration? Amy hated her mind. What did it to her and why?! "Is this an insult?" Lauren asked tensed looking at Amy. Her blue eyes were bright enough to be remarkable in the dim car. Wow. Amy forgot what she wanted to say, to think, to do and swallowed, trying to slow down her racing heart. After a few moments she realized, that she was still staring and still not giving an answer. "N…no! But these clothes are making you look more… like a real human?" "So… you think I'm not a real human?" Lauren's voice was slowly and almost… vulnerable? But… that couldn't be. "No! I mean… I… just… argh! Forget it! I'm done with complimenting you!"
Luckily it was dark in the car, so Amy couldn't see Lauren's blush. "So, it was a compliment?" She asked with a small smile on her lips, glimpsing at Amy. "You're thinking I'm … pretty?" Amy rolled her eyes. What had she done? Lauren turned slightly to Amy, her hands a little bit shaky. You're so pathetic, Lauren. She thought to herself, while waiting for Amy's answer. This blue eyes gazing at her making Amy more insecure, than she would admit to herself. "Well. Yes? You know, that you're beautiful, it's strange that you need my affirmation, isn't it?"
Lauren frowned a little bit. "Wait. Did you say beautiful, Donut-face?" Insulting her to keep the walls high, she watched how Amy cringed, taking a deep breath. "Don't let it go to your head." She stated fast, grabbing her spyglass, pretending to watch after their parents. Lauren was biting on her lower lip, still smiling. She shouldn't be this happy about Amy's words, should she?
A long time past, Amy couldn't say how much, it felt like hours, especially because of the weird tension between the two girls. Lauren was leaning back, relaxing a little bit. "This sucks." She stated after a while. "Marriage sucks." Amy answered simply. "Correction: Love sucks!" Lauren looked disapproving at her. "You don't believe that." "Yeah, I do!" Amy reasserted and looked at Lauren. "Wake up! Soon we will be former sisters! These are… our role-models for … happy lasting relationships! You and I are doomed!" Her words pained the small blonde, and she wanted to answer her desperate words, when she got distracted by her mobile. It was from Theo. Oh Jesus. What does he want again?! 'Can't stop thinking of U. You make me smile.' Cheesy crap, wasn't it? But… when she could pretend it wasn't from this guy, but … a… different person, the text made her smile. Maybe it wasn't too bad, if it comes from the right person? This made her think of the last days… weeks even? ... when there was just one person, who made her laugh. "Maybe not?" She answered after a while. "Doomed is… such a strong and… negative word! We are not our parents!"
Lauren wanted to continue speaking, but suddenly they saw a quite familiar car. Though the words were confusing Amy, she couldn't think about it, because in this moment she saw her mother entering the motel. She couldn't believe she was right. Why again? This was a bad joke, wasn't it? "That bitch…" Lauren growled. In the next minutes too many things happened. Lauren got out the car, stamping to the front door, knocking furiously and yelling curses through the door, until someone opened it. Amy followed her stepsister fast, but froze, trying to prevent her from driving her car through the door, when she saw the man, who opened.
"Dad?!"
Both of the girls were in shock, looking at Amy's father. Amy was the first who reacted. She huffed and turned around. Tightly she grabbed Lauren's wrist and dragged the small blonde with her. "Amy!" She heard her mother shouting, but didn't react. She was too angry to speak with one of her parents. How could they dare?! She needed to go away. Now.
Lauren was surprised by Amy's reaction, flustered by her touch and still shocked of the events. "What the fuck?!" They rushed to the car, before slowing down. Very hesitantly she loosed her grip. "Drive me home… please." She looked at Lauren with watery eyes, who just nodded, swallowing hard. This time she didn't argued or made her usual comments, she just drove her stepsister back home, hearing her sniffing. Though she didn't say anything Lauren was still angry, gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles stained white. How could Farrah do this?! What kind of mother was that?! While parking in front of their house Lauren huffed. She couldn't believe what happened. And, to be honest, she had no clue what to do with Amy, let alone to say. The last week was hard for her and now this happened? Seems like Lauren wasn't the only one with no luck.
Both of them fell silent in the dark car. Lauren still heard the other one sniffing and swallowing hard. "Do you want me to drive you to Karma?" She finally asked, suppressing a sigh. Well, Karma was her best friend, right? She would know what to do in this situation. "No!" Amy's loud voice made the other girl cringe. "Don't tell anyone, Lauren! Not Karma, not Bruce, nobody!" Again she looked at her with her fucking watery eyes. "Please." Since when does this impress you? After a few moments Lauren groaned, before she nodded. "Okay, okay!" She left the car angrily, pushed the car door with way too much force. She didn't wait for Amy to follow her, just rushed to the front door, searching in her pockets for the key. Suddenly she felt a touch on her shoulder. Lauren froze in her movement, her heart began to beat faster. "I have the key." She heard Amy's whisper, not daring to turn around and face her stepsister.
Amy followed Lauren with fast steps, watching how she searched for the keys. Why was she this angry? But even more important: Why did she do what Amy told her and acted this … nervous? After a few steps she stood behind Lauren, near enough to smell her perfume again, touching her shoulder gently. Slowly she grabbed their key, and reached the lock, past Lauren's body. In another world this could have been a hug, or something like that.
Suddenly Lauren turned her head a little, looking at Amy with her way to blue doll-like eyes. Suddenly Amy noticed how near the other girl's face was. Suddenly she also froze, just staring at the other one. Her mind was empty, though her face was still puffy. Amy felt how her own hand stroke Lauren's shoulder. What was this feeling? She came closer to Lauren's face, first looking into her eyes, before staring at her pink lips. She couldn't even think about what she was doing right now. The smell of Lauren was overwhelming. Amy gripped her stepsister's shoulder tighter, pulling her nearer.
Lauren was still standing there, looking at Amy in awe, with racing heart and slight goosebumps where she had felt the touch of the other. Is she… is she going to kiss me?